A Much Needed Rest

[Kyyrk]

Location: Small Nondescript Bar​

Equipment: In Signature​

Tag: [member="Eenia Vahn"]​

​

It was a quiet evening on Kashyyyk. Voph had always enjoyed the planet, and had rarely had a chance to visit after the War. But now, he had all the time in the world. Vylmira could function unattended for another day. Voph had every faith in the his fellow Councilors. He sat in a small bar just a stone's throw off the beaten path. For once in his life, he had no agenda. No goals, no pressing concerns. Well, he had the upcoming meeting with John Locke. Which he hadn't even mentioned to John himself yet. But all in due time.

For now, Voph was huddled over the drink before him, taking in all the sounds and sights of the bar around him. The cool air drifting through the open door felt wonderful. And far off in the distance, Voph could hear the rumblings of a storm. It was a good night. His head turned towards the rest of the bar, noting the various other patrons talking among themselves. It was a tranquility that he'd not felt since...well, he couldn't remember the last time he felt this calm.

He sighed quietly, and took another gulp of his drink. He signaled for another drink, and placed the credits to pay for it on the table. His gaze became distant as his thoughts began to wander. And under his breath, he began to hum. A quiet, low tone. Barely audible unless one were sitting right beside him. Voph could feel the force moving about him. Not of his doing, but of its own accord. It was guiding something, or some one, to him. Whether they knew it or not. Voph cracked the slightest of wry grins. He hated it when the Force did this...

 

[Eenia Vahn]

Over the course of several days, there had been many attempts from many different sources to help Eenia start to cope. Some of them helped, though usually it was only for a short amount of time. She was grateful for the help, but honestly Nia was to the point where she just wanted to forget. Too many things had happened, too many things that drug her down and hollowed her out. Everything just felt wrong anymore, and it was a feeling she didn't like in the least little bit.

So, with most of the people who had been helping to guide her along through this personally dark time busy for the night, Eenia decided to try a new tactic. Under normal circumstances, Nia was not a drinker. In fact, when she had reached the recommended bar, she had no idea what she was even supposed to order. She had sat a long time, squinting at the scribbled menu, uncertain as to what any of it even was or what it consisted of. How did people do this all of the time? Was it just hit and miss? She supposed she would never really understand - unless this worked of course.

Eventually the bartender threw her a bone and mixed her up something sweet without the bitter bite of alcohol weighing it down as much as possible. A thankful, albeit tight smile was given in thanks, and then she sat there at the bar, leaning with her weight against her arms and her chin rested against the backs of her hands as she stared at the drink resting in front of her, contemplating it thoroughly as blue-green eyes watched it sit. She had no idea what it was, and to be perfectly honest? She had no idea if this was even going to be worth the headache she would probably have in the morning. So for now, she sat in debate, weighing heavy options.


[member="Voph"]

 

[Kyyrk]

Voph didn't turn his head. He didn't need to. He could feel the despair bubbling deep inside the woman next to him. And it was evident from how she received her drink, then proceeded to just sit and stare at it. That always meant one of two things. Too much on her mind, or not enough. Voph pulled some credits out of his belt, and placed them on the bar, stopping his humming to tell the tender, "Pay for that one?"

He turned his head towards the girl, looking down at her huddled form. He was nearly a foot taller than her, by his estimate, and keenly reminded why he had taken to calling people "little one." But this one beside him...seemed so much smaller than most.

"Tread carefully, lest you become lost, little one." He smiled gently, his pale face peeking from beneath the dark hood that he'd pulled over his head. His black cloak was tattered and torn from years of use, and the armor beneath was just as ragged, yet still holding strong. Strands of white hair lined his face, and a black strip of cloth rested over his eyes. As he smiled, the long scar that adorned his face twisted on its path from his chin to disappear into his hairline.

His appearance might have seemed...off-putting were it on another. But this man did not seem evil. Simply a warrior with a preference for darker shades, and a desire to remain undisturbed. And there seemed to be an aura of calm emenating from him. One of quiet resolve. One of hope. "The mind is a vast place, and a dangerous thing to explore. Particularly when deeply troubled."

[member="Eenia Vahn"]

 

[Eenia Vahn]

Being sat next to was no big deal. That was something Eenia dealt with all of the time. People needed places to sit down, and from time to time those places just happened to be beside her. Especially back at the Rest, it happened quite a lot. So when there were bodies anywhere near her here in this little bar? She hadn't thought twice about it.

However, being spoken to? That threw her completely off guard. Nia blinked rapidly a couple of times, and then her head lifted away from her arms so that she could turn it and regard the man who was not only beside her, but had spoken to her as well. For an overly long, drawn out moment, sea-green eyes observed. She had not felt threatened in the least by this presence, and yet she had been fooled by such things before. Very, very fooled. And yet she sighed through her nose and her gaze turned back towards the still full glass in front of her.

"Don't I know it," she stated softly in reply. Her own head space was exactly what she was trying to get away from. "Supposedly this," she made a very vague gesture towards the glass in front of her. "Is supposed to help keep one out of the deep, dark recesses of their own mind. And yet for some, it only makes falling into those recesses easier. And if I'm being perfectly honest, I'm not sure which way I would tip were I to tempt fate..."


[member="Voph"]

 

[Kyyrk]

Voph snorted quietly at her comment. "Indeed. And a lightsaber is meant to make one whole." Voph picked up his freshly delivered drink, and knocked back a gulp. "Those who drink to escape have no hope of ever doing so. Salvation is rarely found at the bottom of a bottle." Voph turned his blind gaze towards the girl once more. Human, from the looks of her. No notable other genetic occurrences. Voph's brow furrowed as he watched her. "That has been my finding, anyway. For all the wars and death I have seen, no amount of drink made it any easier to bear." He shrugged, looking back to his own drink. "Then, come to find out, I actually enjoy the stuff. And you never know how useful skulking in a bar can be until you try it."

Voph picked up his glass again, and studied it for a moment. "So the young Jedi..." he held up a hand, gesturing to Eenia, "Presuming that the young lady is indeed a member of the venerable order, not a random force sensitive wandering near the temple...finishes her studies, and comes to a small bar off the beaten path, no friends in sight, no clue what she wishes to drink." Voph paused, then gestured to her drink with his own. "And no desire to partake once served." The smile faded from his face, and his brow furrowed again, a look of concern partially blocked by the blindfold over his eye sockets. "Money? Family? No desire to speak of it?"

[member="Eenia Vahn"]

 

[Eenia Vahn]

Eenia's brow pulled down in the middle, and her head tipped just slightly to the side as she sat and listened. Which in and of itself was strange because she was really listening. Lately, she sort of followed along with conversation, just enough to make sure she could answer questions and give answers, but never really fully pay attention to the things being said to her. In Nia's opinion, there had been no reason for her to fully commit to much of anything anymore, why would there be? Anything she had fully committed to up to this point had turned sour on her in some way, shape, or form after all.

But here she sat with this stranger, fully engrossed in what was being said to her. Enough so that when he finally turned inquiry on her, the blonde young woman sighed through her nose and looked back towards the still untouched glass that was sitting in front of her.

"I suppose you could say it's partially family related." she replied, somewhat quietly. "Long story short, everything that I had held dear in my life, and over the past two years, up and decided that life would be much better and more productive without me." Her head turned once again so that she could look at him, and there was a flash of emotion that Nia was quick to squash. "And stupidly, I had relied heavily on them for a variety of reasons, and now that I've been left on my own, I just want to forget and go on about my life..."


[member="Voph"]

 

[Kyyrk]

Voph nodded quietly, slipping into a musing state of his own. Of course his mind was with his dead family. Dead to him, at least. "Relying on someone is not always a poor decision." He offered a soft smile. "Some trials of life are too great for one being to bear. It is good to have people to rely on." Voph fell silent for a moment, then bowed his head, looking back towards his own drink. "Where I come from...we only knew war. Eternal and unforgiving. At first we brushed it off. Another skirmish on the galactic slate..." It almost seemed as though he was lapsing into a thousand yard stare, if such a thing were even possible for a blind man like him. He sighed quietly.

"Within weeks, the enemy was at our doors. And I remember....kneeling in the filth...bodies upon bodies, blood soaking the ground, clutching the one person I held dear as his life drained from him. The one man I had ever called friend. He was like a brother to me. And for a time, I wanted to forget. To never hold another soul in close regard again..." Voph picked up his glass, and took a sip of the dark liquid. "You never do forget. Even the ones that betray you. Leave you wallowing in the dirt. Everyone comes into your life for a reason. Even if it is not yet apparent."

Voph turned to the girl again, and smiled gently, almost like a parent trying to comfort a child. "A day will come when you will look back upon this and smile, not for what you have lost, but for what you have gained. There is a moment...when a person will be stripped of everything. Nothing left to lose, and everything to gain. And in that moment, you will discover who you truly are. Who you are meant to be." Voph raised his glass, and held it towards the girl, offering a toast. "To finding one's self. And overcoming adversity that you may guide others to the peace you were denied."

[member="Eenia Vahn"]

 

[Eenia Vahn]

"Relying on someone, for me, had been a poor decision." Eenia informed him, a bit quietly at that. "I put every bit of faith I had into this person, every bit of who I was and who I wanted to be, and in the end?" her head shook and she frowned just a little bit. "Turned out to be just another person to up and leave me behind like I didn't matter." And yet she shrugged a shoulder over it.

However, when the man beside her began to speak, once again he drew Eenia's attention fully. Once again her arms folded against the bar in front of her, though she kept her head up rather than lay it down upon them again. At the tail end, she sighed through her nose and looked down at the drink in front of her, though just for a focus point not because she was planning on getting a drink from it. For an overly long, drawn out moment she was quiet, allowing what had just been said to her to sink in and mulling it over.

And then her head shook just once, "I certainly hope this isn't who I am or who I'm meant to be..." she let out. "If it is, what a major disappointment I am."


[member="Voph"]

 

[Kyyrk]

Voph held his glass aloft for a moment, before finally shrugging, and taking a gulp. Eenia didn't seem the toasting type. But her words suggested that she was still...withdrawn. Voph sighed quietly, reaching up to rub his face with his other hand. "Yeah...I...I know all about that." He chuckled, draining the rest of his glass and setting the now-empty cylinder on the counter. "Would have made a perfect name for me, looking back on my career. Darth....Disappointment..."

He sighed again, nodding absently as he mused. "Only the Force can show you who you are meant to be, child. Who you are....well...that one's on you. The Force calls to people. Elevates them. Gives them purpose. Even if it's not always easy to see. Truth be told...Even I wonder some times. And shall we say I've got a few years on you." Voph turned to look at the girl again. "Give yourself time, you become certain of everything. Give yourself more time, the uncertainty will eat you alive. And I've had more than my fair share of time. And...I know who I was...but I can't help but wonder if that's who I still am." Voph fell quiet for a moment, then finally stirred to extend a hand. "But for the time being, you can call me Voph."

[member="Eenia Vahn"]

 

[Eenia Vahn]

It was impossible for Eenia not to smile at that statement. Darth Disappointment? While she was sure it wasn't as amusing as it sounded, she couldn't help but to smile because of it. "I think mine would be something more akin to Lady Never Good Enough." she stated with a shake of the head. It was the story of her life, really. She had always been in her older sister's shadow, she still had yet to be good enough to keep up with others physically, and she had clearly not been enough for...well...

Nia huffed softly and turned her attention back to the man beside her. "Lately I don't know who I am." she let out. "I definitely don't feel a thing like myself anymore. Not with everything that's happened, everything that was ripped away and changed." Her fingers drew small circles against the bar top now. "And I don't know that I'll find my way back to who I was before." she added softly.

She was quiet for a time, just listening again before her finger tapped against the bar top a couple of times. "I'm Eenia." she told him in reply to his introduction. "Nice to meet you."


[member="Voph"]

 

[Kyyrk]

Voph nodded. "Eenia. Nice name. Simple. I like it." He gestured for another drink, before turning back to Eenia. "Fear not Eenia. I can say with utmost certainty that you will never be the person you were before. And that's not always a bad thing." He chuckled quietly. "I...remember when my son was born. I held him in my arms, and...realized that nothing would ever be the same again. And...I was right. Nothing ever was the same. And for a time...I was happy. Happy to have the family together. However short it may have been."

The smile began to fade as he said this. His expression grew distant again. "His mother fell ill shortly after he was born. So...it was just us. And then I got wrapped up in the...well, in work. That wasn't suitable for children. I visited him when I was able, but...well, that's all irrelevant. Just the ramblings of an old man past his prime." His blind gaze focused back on Eenia. "You'll find something to carry you through. Even if it's just a memory of what life once was." Voph fell silent for a moment, then continued.

"I know of what you speak. Feeling inadequate. Not good enough. Treated like something...less than sentient. It...defined my life, for a time. I wanted to prove that I WAS good enough. That my alien heritage didn't define me. So I worked. And I trained. Not to succeed, but to prove that I was better than any of my peers." Voph's brow furrowed as he stared at Eenia. "I can say with the utmost certainty that no one would find you objectionable in the same way. How ever you may feel yourself inadequate, it is through your own misguided notion."

[member="Eenia Vahn"]

 

[Eenia Vahn]

The subject of a child seemed to close the blonde down some, and her composure both flattened and darkened a hair. At that point, she didn't hear all of what was said to her. Most of it, but not all of it. Her own mind clouded with some of the very thoughts she had come here to get away from, and she sighed both very deeply and very slowly through her nose. Out of everything that had happened, there was one spot darker than all of the rest, and it made her insides twist as a secondary painful reminder.

But, Eenia made herself focus. Despite it all, she knew these things weren't being said to her in an attempt to remind her or drag her down. After all, Voph didn't know anything about what she had gone through other than the vague details she had shared about not being good enough. "I'd like to be able to prove that I'm better." she stated, "To prove that I'm not helpless, to prove that despite everything that happened I got back up, that I didn't let it destroy me." One of Nia's hands moved away from the bar so that she could rub her face with it. "But I feel it all weighing me down, and when I start to feel better, something reminds me all over again and knocks my feet right back out from under me."

Again she sighed, though more softly this time. "I'd like to think it won't always be that way, but right now...it's all just too fresh."


[member="Voph"]

 

[Kyyrk]

Voph nodded, muttering a thank you to the bartender as he brought another drink for Voph. This was...what, his fifth? Probably time to call it a night. Even if the alcohol didn't affect him like it used to. Voph raised the glass to his lips, but paused for a moment before taking a drink. "It won't." He took a gulp of the drink, and dabbed at the corners of his mouth with his thumb. "As a wise man once told me....Seek Strength. The rest will follow." Voph mused for a moment, then shrugged. "Of course...he was a Sith, so take it with a grain of salt, but he wasn't...all bad..."

Voph turned back to the girl. "I used to train. When the galaxy was poised against me and I had nowhere left to turn. I would...just train. Practice legwork till I couldn't walk. Review swordsmanship till I couldn't hold a feather. Drill hand to hand until my knuckles bled. Probably not the most healthy coping method, but..." Voph shrugged again. "It was effective." His brow furrowed again. "Any hobbies you might make yourself useful with? Crafting? Weaving? Writing?"

[member="Eenia Vahn"]

 

[Eenia Vahn]

Hobbies...Did she have any hobbies that could distract her from everything that had fallen apart around her? Admittedly, Eenia couldn't seem to recall, and her brow creased because of it. She had never really been any good with anything artistic - drawing, painting, musical, or otherwise. She wasn't much on games, or much of anything else, really. "I like to read..." she did state, and shrugged her shoulders.

She then looked at her hands which she had put into her lap as she had been thinking about an answer to the hobby question. Her fingers curled and uncurled a couple of times, and then she sighed. "Before everything happened," she started, a bit more quietly now. "Its not really a hobby, but I had wanted to train to be a healer. Someone who could mend wounds, both with the Force and not." Her fingers curled closed again and she lifted her gaze away from her hands.

"But I don't feel like that's an appropriate path for me anymore. At least not right now, not after what I did..." It was a big vague, and fairly cryptic, but true enough regardless.


[member="Voph"]

 

[Kyyrk]

Voph nodded quietly. Before everything happened. That was a cornerstone he knew all too well. It seemed like forever ago. The mercenary handing him a datachit. His ship landing deep in the jungles of Yavin IV. The cave... Voph's life had never been the same after that. Voph's brow furrowed, looking at Eenia as she admitted to not feeling the path of a healer was appropriate for her. Voph sighed quietly. Not after what I did. He knew that all too well himself.

"Perhaps you may feel that way now. But no one is beyond redemption. And the galaxy will always need those who can mend the wounds of war." Voph drained the rest of his drink, musing quietly to himself. "But do not let your mistakes define you, little one. They may shape who you are...who you will come to be...but you are not bound by them." He placed a comforting hand on the girl's shoulder. "People like us...we were made to fulfill the roles such as this. To be filled with compassion towards those around us. To understand their suffering, and make it right. To give them the one thing we could never have." Voph's head tilted under the hood as he continued to watch Eenia. "It doesn't matter what you did. Only what you will do. This, I can promise you."

[member="Eenia Vahn"]

 

[Eenia Vahn]

A slow, heavy sighed rushed it's way past Eenia's lips. "It doesn't feel that way." she stated, quietly but she knew the man beside her would hear her just fine. Yes, she took in what was just said to her. Yes, she understood. What had happened, what she had done, it wouldn't effect her future if she didn't let it. And maybe that was true, but right now? Everything felt weighed down due to what had happened. Everything was dark, and tainted, and just downright miserable.

The had-been bubbly young woman no longer could see the path she had been walking before. The entire future that had been laid out before her had been ripped apart, shredded and tossed to some metaphorical wind.

And now she was left to try and cope. To try and pick up the pieces of what was left of herself, and forge a new path. The only problem was? Nia didn't have the drive to do so. She no longer knew what she wanted, or what she should be doing. All she had were the fragments of misery that kept her weighed down right now.

Another sigh escaped her, and Nia lifted a hand to rub her face very, very roughly. "Does it ever really get easier?" she found herself asking. This newfound companion seemed to know where she was coming from, so she was asking for his opinion due to clear experience.


[member="Voph"]