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Feedback For Carlyle Rausgeber

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8 replies to this topic

#1
Carlyle Rausgeber

Carlyle Rausgeber

    The Most Admirable of Admirals.

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Carlyle Rausgeber is my first character on chaos, and one whom is beloved to me. I think I write him fairly well, but that could also be the Dunning Kruger effect in action. 

 

After recently having dropped and found muse with Carlyle. I would like to hear any feedback you guys have for the man himself, and how I write him.

 

 



#2
Tanomas Graf

Tanomas Graf

    Galactic Empire MFIC

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Anyway, I think Carlyle is doing great. I threaded with him a few times back in the First Order and the writing style was good.

 

Carlyle Rausgeber


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#3
Brent Smith

Brent Smith

    The Unlikely Hero

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Carlyle Rausgeber

 

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Maybe I am partial, but I like your writing style.You are easy to read, very literate and I think that you strike the nice balance between detail and simplicity. Carlyle is very human and I like reading his stuff. He is very believable and consistent without being bland or anything.I feel that he is pretty cool, and I look forward to writing with you in the future.Keep up the good work, comrade! :)


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#4
Connor Harrison

Connor Harrison

    Unus enim tenebris

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Carlyle Rausgeber Who is Carlyle; Peter Capaldi or Christoph Waltz? I prefer Waltz.

Nice to see this sort of character on Chaos, a good and keen military mind and I look forward to seeing him expand and develop even further into more dastardly territory to really make a name for himself as a "villain".

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Armour  | Hidden Blade | Cybernetic Arm | "I'm No Hero"


#5
William Kerkov

William Kerkov

    Crispy

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Well, having done a good bit of time with you in the First Order, like Tanomas Graf I have a few things to say,

 

 This character is superb. The way you write military/fleeting is interesting yet simple in the way that I don't have to look up my military jingo every paragraph. It feels like one of the Original Trilogy episode scripts for Imperial personnel, its professional, and I understand it without a bat of the eye. Your dedication to being an Imperial Naval Officer is impeccable, I thought I could do it but I far pale in comparison to your style of being the on point model of an Imperial Fleeter. 

 

 A little note on the writer, you are one or were one when I was with the FO (Active that is) one of the, if not the, most active and helpful fleeters in our faction, whenever a dev was needed for the IFV, or any other branch, you were there posting, even if it is your third in a week. Every dominion and faction event that I can recall you were there, playing the part like a pro. You were also very fair in your writing, if you made a move that was too over the line, you made the fair concession (For instance Kaeshana) and played nicely as best you could. 

 

To summarize, I have nothing but good words for you the writer, and your marvelous character, and I hope you do not follow in my fallacies and keep on fleeting, even if it isn't for the FO, you are a great part of the Chaos fleeting community (In my mind at least) and it would not be the same without you. 

 

Good job, Carlyle Rausgeber.



#6
Boo Chiyo

Boo Chiyo

    #DarkSideCookies

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Carlyle Rausgeber

I won't echo what's already been said, I'll just add that I've always enjoyed your prose and storytelling.

You are an excellent writer, and portray a fantastic characterization.

#7
Zeradias Mant

Zeradias Mant

    Overlord Actual

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Carlyle Rausgeber

Any seriousness I read in his threads are quickly undermined by the silly avatars. Simple fix tho

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#8
Jamie Pyne

Jamie Pyne

    I Knew You Were Trouble

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Carlyle Rausgeber

 

I've literally always thought his name was Carlyle Rausberger. Until like....Your last status update.


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#9
Carlyle Rausgeber

Carlyle Rausgeber

    The Most Admirable of Admirals.

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Cheers for the feedback lads. I appreciate the commentary. I'm a personal firm believe in always reviewing your work in order to grab an idea as to how things have gone and how to improve. 

 

Any seriousness I read in his threads are quickly undermined by the silly avatars. Simple fix tho

 

 To address this, Carlyle isn't a super serious character. I generally play him as either a pompous/General Melchett officer, or a Malcolm Tucker-esque savage, characters not built to be taken too seriously.

 

villain

 

>villain

 

You give Carlyle way too much credit. He's just middle management. 

 

Are there any improvements I could make to writing? Other than the one addressed.