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The Atonement

- - - - - Ardgal Raxis The Atonement Gunship Personal Ship Corvette

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#1
Ardgal Raxis

Ardgal Raxis

    Raxis'alor

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OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

  • Intent: To finally make a personal Ship for Ardgal that I've been referencing for a while now
  • Image Source: Va'arost Class
  • Canon Link: N/A
  • Restricted Missions: N/A
  • Primary Source: My psycho mind

PRODUCTION INFORMATION

  • Manufacturer: RMIA
  • Model: N/A
  • Affiliation: Personal
  • Production: Unique
  • Material: Quadranium steel (interior), Matrix armor

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

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Bridge. Source

SPECIAL FEATURES

  • Advanced Long rage sensors
  • Encrypted Long range S-thread comms
  • Extendable docking rings (4)
  • 2 Tractor beams
  • Faraday cage
  • Passenger capacity:
    • Soldier Barracks (Holds 150)
    • Officer Barracks (Holds 20)
    • Total: 170
  • High security prison (Holds: 10)
  • Armory
  • Med bay
    • Bacta tanks
    • 2B-1 surgical droids
    • Fully stocked Pharmaceutical cabinets
  • Heavy On-deck Security

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Engineering Maintenance Tunnel. Source

Strengths:

  • Secure: The Atonement takes on-board security very seriously. There are blast doors made from Quadranium steel, Cabur-class sentry droids are mounted to patrol the halls and the door ways. Reverse repulsor engines, anti-personnel ray shields, frequent foot patrols, on-board security cameras, and only the most modern security technology have been installed on the Atonement after its recent retro-fitting.
  • Passenger hold: The soldier barracks are typified by 3 tier bunks that are geared towards maximizing their capacity over privacy or really anything else. The Officers have a little more room and privacy (each to their own quarters about 200 feet by 200 feet). Even Ardgal's room is confined to these numbers. While its far from spacious, it gets the job done.

Weaknesses:

  • Unique: The Atonement is truly unique and frankly, illogical. The ship shouldn't even be in the air, and any stranger who knows even a little bit about engines who walks into its engine room will be completely baffled as to what in the Force the builders were thinking. Any third party who hasn't been with this ship for quite some time would be completely irritated to totally befuddled trying to repair the Atonement. This makes finding replacements for her tech crew all but impossible. It also extends the repair time for the Atonement to double.
  • Residual energy: The Atonement is pregnant with the memories of those who have gone on before. Even though it has been refitted several times, the body of this ship carries the energy of those who have gone on before. These are not all bad memories, while many have died in the Atonement there are also rich memories too. Force users, those with psychic abilities, and empaths could find this rather distracting. On the other hand, if anyone knows what signature to look for, the Atonement wouldn't be hard to find at all using the Force.
  • Weakspot: There is a weakspot in the Atonement's firing arc in the rear. This weak spot is only covered by the point defense turrets and plasma rail guns instead of the full salvo of the Atonement's weaponry.

Description:




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Mess Hall. Source

The Atonement had been a part of RMIA's resource house since well before the general's grand father had been a twinkle in his great-grandfather's eye. The Ship has seen many battles, many tours of service and changed hands through the company's leadership time and time again. Retrofit after retrofit and jerryrig after jerryrig morphed the vessel from whatever stock corvette it had been originally. The floating joke around the ship's staff is that she had originally been a fighter in the starting days of RMIA, but time had made her into a monster machine.


The Atonement has been crashed and rebuilt twice, burned to cinders 4 times, shot out and gutted 3 times, split in two stem to stern and across the mid section on different occasions, she has been revamped and seen the lives and deaths of hundreds of soldiers over the years. It has lived to see children grow in its belly, to raise their own children, and so on.

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Soldier Barracks. Source

By the time Ardgal came in control of RMIA, the ship had fallen into great disrepair, along with most of his company's fleet. So the warrior rolled his sleeves up and began designing a refit for the ship he had grown up in. When the funds finally rolled through for it, he purchased the ship of his own cash (A business owner is allowed to take his own cut after all) and began working on the redesign of his life.

First the warrior wanted to be able to ride securely in the ship. Several of Ardgal's earliest jobs had been on-board security for smugglers running through the Outer Rim. He had repelled more than his fair share of PTSD-inducing pirate raids and swore that he would not let this happen on the Atonement. As such, the ship is designed with the cutting edge and greatest on-board security that he could contrive. And that is saying quite a lot.


 

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Medbay Source.

Next he re-fitted the medical bay. If his men were going to ride this ship into war he wanted to make sure they had the greatest medical services on hand, bacta tanks, surgeon droids, and doctors, as well as a fully stocked and prepared medical service cabinet. But the warrior didn't dare work alone, he took advice from his lady love @ Rashae. Doctor knows best, as they say.

With the interior all but completed, Ardgal turned his attention to the Attonment's exterior. The warrior knew that Matrix armor and molecular shielding would be his greatest defense against energy attacks, which were the most common attacks with laser cannons, blaster cannons, and so on. He made these the base of his ship's defenses adding on Ray shields and deflector shields, and while it wasn't the most intensive defense that could exist, it was better than most and able to hold its own against attacks.

 

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Briefing Room. Source

As for weapons, Ardgal had never been fond of the traditional weapons in anything. When it came to land combat he preferred to keep his opponents on their heels by using the exotic, the esoteric, and the unique. Not only that, it just felt great to use something off the wall against his foes. So Ardgal picked the Solar Ionization Cannon Turrets his two primary weapons. After these two, the Atonement would rely upon Charic cannons and flack cannons to deal damage, and the Electromagnetic plasma rail guns and point defense cannons to fight off fighters in a well-balanced fighting capacity. The Atonement was designed to stand up to it all and survive--or in the very least limp away.

The ship's completion cost Ardgal a small fortune, it would have been cheaper (and according to some, wiser) for the warrior to instead buy a new ship, but the Atonement held too much value for Ardgal to scrap or even shelve in a museum.

All in all, its just a personal gun ship for Ardgal to use.


Edited by Ardgal Raxis, 25 July 2017 - 10:42 PM.


#2
Darth Saarai

Darth Saarai

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Hello, I'll be the factory judge reviewing your submission. If you have questions, please feel free to respond to this thread once we are underway.



#3
Darth Saarai

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Ardgal Raxis
 
For the most part I love this, very neat concept, lots of details for roleplaying and the image is awesome, but you got a lot of moving parts and we will need to bring it down a bit, even though it's an unique ship.
 
When looking at the cookie-cutter template and this ship I'd say this ship fits the best with a heavy corvette when looking at the dimensions, the armament, gun count and all that stuff.
 
So that's the one I am using as a basis.
 
Heavy corvette:
 
ArmamentHigh
DefensesModerate
Hangar0 Squadrons
Maneuverability RatingLow
Speed RatingVery Low
Hyperdrive Class: 1
 
Atonement:
 
ArmamentHigh
DefensesHigh
Hangar0 Squadrons
Maneuverability RatingAverage
Speed RatingModerate
Hyperdrive Class: [3.5] Backup: [15]

 

That means that you up'ed the Defenses by 1 rating, Maneuverability by 1 and Speed by a whooping 3. Then you got the large amounts of droids, among them the Basilisk War Droids which are technically not starfighters, but they may as well count as atmospheric fighters because of their sheer impressiveness. Then you got the host of special features... chief among them the crystal grav trap.

 

In exchange you slowed down the hyperdrive and your production is unique.

 

Like I said, I really love the ship, there is a lot of character here, lots of detail to roleplay and play around with. But right now there isn't really a fair balance between what the ship can do in a PVP/PVE setting and the weaknesses it possesses in the face of that.

 

Please cut down the ship to more closely resemble the cookie-cutter submission in terms of stats, systems and the sort. 

 

Tag me if you have any questions.



#4
Ardgal Raxis

Ardgal Raxis

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Darth Saarai

 

Ok, so I added a soft spot to the Atonement's fire arc in the back and I reduced the Maneuverability to Low. Is that ok for a Unique production ship?



#5
Darth Saarai

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Ardgal Raxis

 

I had a brief discussion about it in the factory. Generally, when you are up'ing the stats by a lot, it's not really possible to also add a ton of special features and systems into the ship. 

 

Something has to give for balance sake.

 

Here are the edits I want you to make and I can stamp it after that:

 

  • Mk 2 Droidekas (10)
  • Mk 2 Basilisk War Droids (5)
  • Remove the Crystal-Grav Trap.
  • Bump down the speed from moderate to low.

If you'd rather have speed than guns, you can switch them around and if you want a more rounded ship that's decent at most things, we can look at that as well. Let me know if you have any questions.

 

As always if you don't agree with this judgement, you can request a second chance.



#6
Ardgal Raxis

Ardgal Raxis

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Darth Saarai

Nah, it's not that. Just I worked quite a while on this over a few days that's all.

So, if I remove the droid thing entirely, what's that gonna get me in terms of wiggle room?

#7
Darth Saarai

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Ardgal Raxis

 

If you remove the droid hangar completely and remove the CGT, I'd let you keep the speed as is.



#8
Ardgal Raxis

Ardgal Raxis

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Darth Saarai

Ok, sure I can go for that. I pulled both of those out.

#9
Darth Saarai

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Awesome. Pending Admin Approval. Thanks! Cira



#10
Jamie Pyne

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Ardgal Raxis | Darth Saarai

 

I am mostly fine with this, however I would like to see an exploitable weakness to this ship. Right now there isn't much there to balance this in a combat setting.


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#11
Ardgal Raxis

Ardgal Raxis

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Jamie Pyne

 

Ok, I added a weak spot in the aft for the ship's gun emplacement, how's that?



#12
Jamie Pyne

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Approved.

 

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Edited by Jamie Pyne, 26 July 2017 - 08:04 AM.

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