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Amilthi Camlenn


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Amilthi Camlenn

Amilthi Camlenn

    Self-Awareness Junkie

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  • 9 posts

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FACTION: N/A
RANK: Knight
SPECIES: Human
AGE: 33
SEX: Female
HEIGHT: 5'4"
EYES: Grey-Blue
HAIR: Hazel
SKIN: Fair
FORCE SENSITIVE: Yes

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A human woman who looks to be in her early thirties, Amilthi is slightly below average height and appears healthy and quite athletic, but recognisably feminine. She is usually dressed in simple clothes in browns and pastel colours of the sort that is common on poor backwater planets, but would be considered mere rags in wealthier places.

Her slightly curly hazel hair falls open around her face, and her grey-blue eyes usually have an intensely observant expression, as if she were taking in and processing every detail around her. There is an air of aloofness about her, so faint that it sometimes makes one doubt if it is even there. To some, it may be disconcerting the way it is hard to tell whether that little hint of quizzicalness in her eyes was quite there a moment ago. But then there is this gentle, perhaps knowing smile...

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Amilthi is a very reflective person with a strong desire for optimisation. She strives to be rational and controlled, and while she has intense emotions, she has reached a point where she is rarely put off balance by them. She has strong moral sentiments, and a curious mixture between a sense of duty and entitlement: nobody is worth less than anyone else, so she isn't worth less, either. Her attitude tends to oscillate between impatience with the irrationality of most sentients and a lenient, even compassionate acceptance of their flaws. While she strives to be pleasant for other people, she doesn't consider it her duty to entertain them and is therefore quick to withdraw when she doesn't find an interaction worth her time. Even then, however, she is unfailingly polite.

Close friendships are not something Amilthi forms easily, and it can be difficult for her to create and sustain warmth in a relationship with another person. However, she does her best to be approachable and not reject others in a hurtful way. This is occasionally thwarted by her impatience. While she strives to be pleasant to be around, she doesn't consider it her duty to entertain them and is therefore quick to withdraw when she doesn't find an interaction worth her time, though unfailingly in a polite manner.

Amilthi's rationalistic perspective is at times difficult to reconcile with the intuitive ways of the Force, but she has had much time to learn how to balance trust in her intuitions with cool logic, her conclusion being that many of a Force sensitive's intuitions are not flawed in the same way as those of ordinary sentients are. She has also come to tentatively accept that coincidences have a different status in the lives of Force sensitives, occurring in a distinctly non-coincidental way.

She would like to believe that evil is the result of misconceptions and irrationality, and that a better life for all could be built if people were only intent on actual rational optimisation. There is, however, a line, and Amilthi isn't sure where it is: how far can one go in trying to optimise others? Some things are not explicable by mere stupidity and would seem require stronger interventions than education; and what about the weak-minded, who cannot subdue their detrimental natural urges? What is one to do with the particular soldier who is somehow caught up in collective insanity? One cannot just persuade and army right on the battlefield. And is it even right to let other people's stupidity get in one's way? These are questions that Amilthi is careful to pose to herself and consider carefully whenever they become relevant.

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Amilthi was born in the Galatic Republic, in Salisbury on Ralltiir to be exact. Her parents were both researchers - an activity that droids still hadn't taken over -, her mother a neurologist and her father in the field of nanotechnology (where breakthrough had periodically been pronounced imminent, but were never achieved). As a result, the girl suffered no privation, but had much freedom and grew independent in spirit. She was bright and inquisitive child and her parents could afford to send her to a good school to foster her apparent talents. However, she was also slightly more capricious and impulsive than normal for a young girl, and not very sociable. This made it somewhat difficult for her to get along with other people, and she had no real friends in or outside of school. When still a child, Amilthi wasn't bothered by this, being content with learning. But at the onset of puberty, she came to be more aware of her situation and found something wrong with it. She had, by now, read enough on humanity to know that the way she was, people would generally not like her, and that not being liked, she would grow up to be miserable. Such was being human. And while she had no idea by a long what about what she actually wanted out of life, she knew it was not being miserable.

And so Amilthi began to observe her own behaviour and emotions carefully and tried to rationally assess and correct them. From her reading, she knew that it was to some extent possible to manipulate one's own brain through behaviour, and that was what she did. With time passing, rationally analysing her situation to the extreme, and carefully monitoring her own reaction, became natural to her, so that it was incomprehensible to her how people could figure out what to do and go through their lives without it. She had an acute perception of her surroundings and had no trouble overlooking and evaluating situations quickly. The result was indeed what Amilthi wanted: it wasn't in her nature to be the most social of persons, but she found that she was able to navigate the social space, to predict and manipulate others - indeed, she was even aware of the latter activity's moral implications -, and she was reasonably liked by them. She still had no close friendships, but didn't aspire to them: her human instincts were satisfied. She also found that it furthered her well-being remarkably that she had train herself to find frustration and anger simply pointless. Diagnosing an undesirable state of affairs was enough; being angry about it didn't actually help one in any way beyond that. By the age of sixteen, she had developed a self that she liked and could live with. Believing that more reasonableness would help this galaxy enormously, she wondered if in the face of that, it was actually permissible to just build one's own comfortable secluded life. On the other hand, she was just a tiny figure and didn't know what to do with herself anyway.

No-one had ever considered the possibility that Amilthi might be Force-sensitive. The more likely explanation for her abilities had been her intelligence, and perhaps a slightly unusual neurological makeup that allowed her brain to process sensual information especially efficiently. Nobody had been in a position to even think of the less likely alternative or additional explanation; it had simply not had any salience in anybody's mind. Eventually, however, her unusual outlook and approach to things drew the attention of those who had had experience with the Jedi and she was referred to the Jedi Order as an organisation of potentially like-minded people. When it turned out that she was indeed sensitive to the Force and that the Jedi would accept her into training, she was only too happy to take this offer, as she saw them as a group of vaguely like-minded people who are actually in the position to effect something.

he degree of self-discipline with which she devoted herself to her new studies was, for someone of her age, quite surprising. What threw her, to some extent, off balance in the beginning was the realisation that some of what she took pride in - her acute perception, her ability to assess and influence people - was actually due to intuitive processes; that her intuition was in fact more reliable than the typical human being's; and for a while, her excessive emphasis on rationality proved a hindrance in exploring the Force, so that she even altogether questioned its value for her. However, it was still very instrumental in regulating her emotions, and philosophical exercises required it, so that her aim was to find a balance between the two, and to learn where to employ and trust what.

Her first teacher was very concerned by the intensity of Amilthi's emotions and her focus and worried that they might put her at risk. Consequently, he strove to promote in her a mindset of resting in the moment instead of compulsive planning, and encouraged her to be more passive and accepting rather than approaching the world with a view to how problem can be solved with maximal efficiency. While it helped Amilthi to learn the importance of patience, this mindset was not in harmony with her nature, and one that she not only could not, but ultimately did not want to fully embrace.

When the war with the Old Sith erupted, the passivity to which her teacher's attitude and her lack of skill with the lightsabre condemned her led to conflict with her teacher, which led to their eventual falling-out. Under a new master, Amilthi was allowed to embrace a more proactive approach. As the war progressed, Amilthi began to wake up to the ugly transformation it was effecting in the Galactic Republic and its Jedi. Horrified by it, and disillusioned with the Jedi Order's lack of perspective on how to improve a galaxy where a powerful democracy was ruining itself in total war, she felt no obligation - or inclination - to sacrifice herself for a lost cause, she left the order.

Feeling quite useless, she began to believe that if she could have any beneficial influence at all, it would be on a local level rather than the grand galactic scale. Amilthi settled to a simple life on Tatooine, perhaps out of sentimentality and historical precedent. She somehow pitied the planet which, for all its past significance, had always and perhaps would always be ignored. But as time progressed, she found herself reflecting more and more on the nature of the corruption that had taken hold of the Galactic Republic before its fall and of the power of the Dark Side that had enabled the Sith to ravage the core. She felt an urge to understand this recurrent type of tragedy. She began to travel again and study what materials on the nature of the Dark Side she could get hold of in the archives of the various groups of Jedi that had formed over the years, though she refused to join any of them. At this point, her search was a personal project that she felt would be unduly derailed by the prying eyes of others. In the course of this research, she happened upon century-old records describing the rarely-used Vaapad form of lightsabre combat, by which she was immensely intrigued. Having found the passivity of Soresu wasteful and paralysing and the confident activity of Djem-So unsustainably draining, Amilthi was immensely intrigued by the new concepts and saw in them the potential to finally harness a source of power she contained within herself.

While she has not conclusively solved the big question she set out to answer, she now feels secure enough in herself, and so after many years of contemplation in solitude, the annexation of Tatooine into the newly risen Galactic Empire was the nudge Amilthi needed to consider leaving her refuge.

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Amilthi has exceptional cognitive capacities, both able to quickly apprehend and assess the situation around her and adept at performing in-depth analytical thinking. She has an unspecialised education that consists of bits and pieces from such fields as computer science, mathematics, medicine and psychology, but does not form much of a unified whole.

 

Amilthi's native language is Galactic Basic, but her long time on Tatooine had her pick up fluent Huttese as well.

She has great knowledge and experience in the area of meditation and, more generally, techniques that modify the state of the self, extending from the spiritual into the physical. She is much less proficient when it comes to connecting to her surroundings through the Force and altering them, and indeed her telekinetic and mentalistic abilities are very rudimentary.

Amilthi is not truly competent in any one lightsabre form, having abortively studied both Soresu and Djem-So. The form she has come to regard as her own is Vaapad, which she has spent much time studying, but whose complexity and difficulty have so far prevented her from fully mastering it. Nevertheless, it is the only form Amilthi believes she could master.

 

She is passably competent in unarmed hand-to-hand combat, but is useless with any sort of ranged weapon.

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STRENGTHS

Amilthi is very intelligent and disciplined. Not only is she extremely introspectively aware, but also able to manipulate her internal states almost at will. As a consequence, she is rarely put off balance and is, more than anything, at risk of strangling herself.

WEAKNESSES

Amilthi is a very intense person and not at all the social butterfly type who attracts people and effortlessly puts them at ease. As a consequence, it is not easy for her to form close relationships. She also finds it difficult to inspire and lead others, but is equally unable to submit to leadership and become an inconspicuous member of a group.

Her intellectual approach to everything make her liable to overthink matters and paralyse herself by getting tied up in analysis. She likes to be very controlled, which is not only an occasional hindrance in the social world, but also hampers spontaneity and creativity when quick decisions are required.

Amilthi can be quite impatient and does not have a very lively sense of humour. She is keenly aware of the imperfections of the universe. It requires constant discipline for her not to oscillate between getting carried away trying to remedy them and depressed resignation.

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For Lack of a Doorbell

Books and Boundaries


Edited by Amilthi Camlenn, Today, 01:13 PM.