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Braxen (Sky cutters)

- - - - - DragonBird Cersia Creature Wyvern

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#1
Kid Starburn

Kid Starburn

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OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

Intent: To create an original predator species for my planet

Image credit:

https://www.thoughtc...-flight-1093719

https://imgur.com/gallery/InUQci2

Canon:N/A

Links:N/A

 

 Braxen Pup

 

 Adult Braxen.

 

GENERAL INFORMATION

Name: Braxen (Breaks-in)
Designation: Semi-Sentient
Homeworld:  cersia

Language: Roars and Snaps

Life span: 90 years
Scale Colors: Black and Gold
Feather Colors: White , Red, or Black
Estimated Population: Rare

Description: The Medium sized soaring lizards are above one of the top apex predators on the planet Cersia. Their bodies are mixed with feathers and scales , either to signify age or sex .Having slender serpentine bodies with long necks and tails allows them to easily navigate the sky's. All their muscles held together by strong tendons and ligaments which enables them to takeoff and soar in the air by their sheer muscle .They have frills on their jaws which they open and close by way of showing expressions ,Their wings are lined with sharp retractable scales able to slice tree's in their path. While they are territorial and aggressive with each other , they do havemanners of communication which they mostly do by roaring and shrieking at one another . They are known to be quite impressive hunters due to the Male and female both sharing the same size and hunting capabilities ,meaning they are almost impossible to domesticate.

 

PHYSICAL INFORMATION

Average height of young: 1.2 meters

Average length of young: 6

Average height ofteen: 1.8 meters

Average length of teen:10

Average height of adults:2.1 meters

Average length of Adults: 12-13 meters

Average Wingspan:

Wingspan:10-11 meters

Scale color:Black, Reds and Gold

Feather colors:Whites, Gold , and BlacksRare color (Green)

Races: N/A

Distinctions: Though males and females share the same maximum height , their are a few subtle ways of telling gender. The females have more bulkier bodies having a higher pain tolerance then the men. Also another way to tell is in their teeth growth patterns while females have rows of 40 long needle like teeth while males are more triangular in shape and larger having 50 rows of teeth as opposed to females

 

 

Strengths

Paralyzing ability :The Braxen attack with using a set of three claws on their hands , a pair of strong nails on their feetand rows of curved slim teeth. The Braxen have a sac of paralyzing liquid which is located at the back of the throat,which naturally secretes the liquid from their mouth much like saliva. Before a hunt occurs they take the time to coat their nails an claws with the Paralyzing venom. The venom has a duration of about 15 minutes leaving the victim immobilized.

 

Strong hides:their bodies are built to handle high pressured altitudes while still maneuvering efficiently . They are known to be quite resilient able to shrug off razors claws from others in the species . 

 

Razor wings:They are seen to wrestle with each other in the air using their scales to slice at one another. Regularly they are seen usingtheir wings to cut down smalltrees in their paths. Cuts made from one another are not usually fatal only leaving minor scars butif done to prey is able to leave gashes which slow down the target. Sentient species wearing armor are out of luck the scales although thin an able to pierce through light to medium type ofarmor plating.  

 

Weakness 

Frail Underbellies: Their strong bodies are able to shrug off most attacks from melee weapons to sometimes blasters but evolution has left them vulnerable with an Achilles heel or correctly a stomach. This specific spot on the body is vulnerable makingblasters or sharp weaponry quite effective .

 

Obvious Bright Coloring: The creatures can easily be seen , They stickoutin the pale sky of the planetallowing for quick keen animals and people to better escape the approaching danger. This leaves them at a disadvantage making them have high starvation rates.

 

Somewhat Clumsy: They are known to be famous predators but even they make mistakes. When in a group they sometimes thrash and stumble over one another allowing for prey to get away.

 

CULTURE:

Diet: Mostly meat from the planets smaller herbivorous creatures and sometimes even small insects.

Communication: Growls and Battle crys

Technology: None 

Religion/Beliefs:None

General behavior: The Braxen are the most renown predator on the planet being the most dangerous creature to take to the planets sky's . They tend to keep to themselves spending more time with their own kind to teach the young talents passed through the generations. They form their homes from inside caves at the top of the planets mountains ,sleeping on top of one another to produce heat . When young they are more bird like molting their feathers to reveal scaled skin until they grow into their adolescent years to grow them back. When young they would exercise their wings by dropping from cliffs to test their soaring capabilities, this sometime leaves them withinjuries but their durable body structure keeps them from serious harm.

 

When hatched, they immediately train their hunting prowess together by nipping at each other and sharpening their teeth by grinding against jagged rocks. The Braxen learn from their parents then leaves them in the earliest part of their lives.The species form prides of six ,each consisting of up to 4 males some even show to have equal gender.The reason for this is to Fending for themselves at such a young agemakes them very vulnerablethis lead to smaller population sizes and sightings . 

 

 

Historical Information: Braxen were seen to be the earliest creatures found on the planet. Evolution appearance wise had left them alone only giving them a slight decrease in size usually getting to 18 meters instead of the now 12-13 meters. Clan Starburn the oldest mandalorian clans on the planet insignia is the head of a Braxen, signifying strength and comradery. The earliest inhabitants of the planet had to form an antidote to counteract the neurotoxin . Their have been brave souls who dared try to climb the cliff sides of the mountain to steal an egg. Those who have tried have been said to never return. Though dangerous the creatures may be they are quite beautiful and fascinating , The feathers are known to be made into apparel and sold offworld for high prices.


Edited by Kid Starburn, 26 March 2018 - 05:56 PM.


#2
Taeli Raaf

Taeli Raaf

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Under review



#3
Taeli Raaf

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Kid Starburn

 

So a few things that need addressed:

  • Please hyperlink the planet this species is on in the homeworld section
  • Please put all measurements as metric, you have an odd switch from meters to inches then back to meters.
  • How strong is this paralyzing effect? How long does it last?
  • I'm not exactly sure having strong muscles is going to help you shrug off attacks. A thick hide yes, but strong muscles are just going to increase strength and endurance.
  • Can these razor edges to their wings cut through armor?
  • Looking at your weaknesses, I'm not sure the first one is a weakness. That is just a common thing for what happens when creatures with wings fight. Change this.
  • On the subject of weaknesses, depending on the answers to above issues, you may need to add a third weakness in.
  • This is more a general thing, but I would suggest going back to catch a few confusing typos and word combos 

    an antidoteto counteractthe
    for example.


#4
Kid Starburn

Kid Starburn

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Taeli Raaf I'll fix everything but i'll link the planet by friday haven't made one yet.


Edited by Kid Starburn, 05 March 2018 - 06:58 PM.


#5
Taeli Raaf

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Kid Starburn

 

Status on this submission?



#6
Kid Starburn

Kid Starburn

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Taeli Raaf its still be edited , almost done.



#7
Taeli Raaf

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Kid Starburn

 

What is the status on the edits?



#8
Taeli Raaf

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Kid Starburn

 

This submission will be archived in 24 hours due to inactivity if no response is made



#9
Kid Starburn

Kid Starburn

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Yea its completed and fixed sorry bou that Taeli Raaf



#10
Taeli Raaf

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Kid Starburn

 

There are still a few things that need addressed that I mentioned before:

  • Average height of adults: 12-15 meters Average height of young:6-7 inches Average height of teens:20-22 inches Wingspan:10-11 meters
    these all need to be in the metric system, as stated previously.
  • have bigger 50 sets of teeth as opposed to males
    they have 50 sets of teeth on females? do you mean they have 50 teeth total?
  • Their agility in the air is quite impressive
    this would be its own separate strength
  • blasters are quite ineffective .
     

    most attacks from melee weapons to sometimes blasters
    these contradict each other, choose one or the other.
  • Regularly they are seen usingtheir wings to cut down small trees in their paths. Cuts made from one another are not usually fatal butif done to prey is able to leave gashes which slow down the target
    so these scales are sharp enough to cut down a tree, but not enough to be fatal to things they are hunting or each other? That is contradictory as something that sharp is going to have no problem dealing lethal injuries to anything really. 
  •  

    Clumsy: All members of the species are known to fly at great heights but in the air they sometimes are unable to retain flight before hitting the ground.
     

    Obvious Coloring: The creatures can easily be seen , They stickoutin the pale sky of the planet .
    these are not necessarily weaknesses. Expand on them or change them to something else.


#11
Taeli Raaf

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Kid Starburn

 

Status update?



#12
Kid Starburn

Kid Starburn

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sorry for the inconvenience finally correctedTaeli Raaf


Edited by Kid Starburn, 23 March 2018 - 05:04 PM.


#13
Taeli Raaf

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Kid Starburn

 

Their agility in the air is quite impressive
This still needs to be its own separate strength.

#14
Kid Starburn

Kid Starburn

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it's been fixed fr this time Taeli Raaf



#15
Taeli Raaf

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Kid Starburn

 

Pending approval

 

Allyson Locke



#16
Zeradias Mant

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Kid Starburn

 

Please put the larger (or both, if you wish) images in spoiler tags, please.


jp6SZYE.png


#17
Kid Starburn

Kid Starburn

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Zeradias Mant finished



#18
Zeradias Mant

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Approved.


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