Jump to content

  • Log In with Google Sign In
  • Create Account

Through the Looking Glass.

  • Please log in to reply
3 replies to this topic

Khonsu Amon

Khonsu Amon

    =] IMPETU ☼ SOLIS [=

  • Character
    • Character Bio
  • 996 posts
Posting up a feedback thread is something I’ve never gotten around to doing, despite being here for some time, and have always been curious about what would be said in regards to my writing. I suppose you could say that I’m likening this experience to that of a sick man, not wanting to visit the clinic out of fear of what will be found. While there’s a part of me that doesn’t do well with negative criticism, I’ve come to learn that the best way to handle anything in my life is to just get it over with.
So, I won’t bore you with the details about who I am or what I’ve done over the last two years since I’ve joined the site. Nor will I list out all the character’s I’ve written or Faction’s I’ve managed to participate in and lead in the past. I’m not looking for a critique of my personality or the various decisions I’ve made with my life. 
However, if that is something you’d like to comment on, please feel free to hit me up via private or direct message via Chaos and Discord, respectively.
Anyways, back to the point. I’m looking for ways to improve myself and my writing. If you’ve read or even skimmed any of my lengthy posts - what do you think I can do to make myself a better writer? Yes, I know, making them shorter would help, and that is something I’ve been trying over the past few weeks to a moderate degree of success. But, I know there is always something more I can do, and I will need the help of my peers to find it. 
Hell, I’ll even take the advice of those who haven’t read my posts, as every bit of constructive criticism helps!
Which leaves me with little to say, other than if you’ve taken the time to respond to this thread, or even glanced at its contents - Thank you for your time.
It really means a lot to me. :)


Signature made by Ria Misrani.

| Hearteater - Sith Sword | Serpent's Guile | Thyrsian Sun Guards | The Sunrunner |



Matsu Xiangu

Matsu Xiangu

    The Haruspex

  • Writers
    • Character Bio
  • 2,497 posts

Khonsu Amon As far as *constructive* criticism goes, I think you've nailed it on the head. Don't get me wrong - I don't think long posts are inherently a problem, and if you're writing a thread with someone who enjoys it like you do, GO FOR IT! I have a couple people I basically write novels with and both people involved prefer it!


But I think it's difficult in an invasion/rebellion/dominion setting where it's not everyone's cup of tea. It's difficult for me to say "stop it", because I read your posts and see passion for the details of your world. But I think, if you're asking for suggestions, mine would be this: write your post the way you always would (as long as that doesn't take you 8 hours) and then read it back and trim the fat. Decide what's truly necessary in a public space, what you REALLY want people to know or that they NEED to know, and nix the rest. That's what I started doing and it was intensely helpful, since I suffer from the same E N T H U S I A S M lol!


But I think what I really want to say is that I've always appreciated the depth you build in to your concepts, and how fully realized you make something through your small, intricate details. My suggestion is a small one, better suited to tailoring to largely public spaces rather than your writing in general. I think overall the site is lucky to have your writing, and I'm digging for a critique since you asked for one. :D

Edited by Matsu Xiangu, 15 April 2018 - 10:45 AM.

Posted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

Itash Mecetti

Itash Mecetti

    Big Ball of Bad Intentions

  • Character
    • Character Bio
  • 667 posts

Khonsu Amon


You know I love giving you a hard time over the length of your posts, but all the jokes aside I have a lot of respect for the sheer diligence and effort you put into every single post you make.


It's obvious you put thought into it.


Can't hate on that.


I'd echo Matsu Xiangu's suggestion though- it's one thing when you are writing in a private thread, where people quite literally 'sign up' for such storytelling, but it's a bit different in a more public avenue. There is a certain skill in making shorter posts that convey the same atmosphere, content, flavor and prose as a longer post would, I think it would be good to challenge yourself in that way. 


A first step would most definitely be to start writing the way you would and then see where you can cut the meat into leaner pieces.


Just my additional two cents!




    Crime Boss

  • Character
    • Character Bio
  • 173 posts
I have come to validate your existance. Good job. You may worship me now.

Posted Image
"My advice...take things too seriously and you'll be the only one not laughing." -Tef