Posted 10 June 2018 - 11:09 PM
There had been books Katrine had been reading when he entered. She had been reading other books when he had come after his sweater also. Gerwald was not much of a reader. Being a warrior he could read dispatches, orders, and whatever other information he had been given. Gerwald started to try and organize them, and make sense of them. They seemed old, ancient, and nothing like he had ever seen before.
There was one which seemed to pull at him in particular. The cover was a brown cracked leather with a brass lock to keep it closed. Pressing on the clasp, Gerwald opened the book to see what he could discover about its comments.
The language was archaic, but discernible. Some of the symbols and letters were different, but it was clear the book was written in some form of early basic. While it wasn’t written in the way it was currently spoken, the prose still made sense.
Gerwald had to read it out loud. Smaller passages he could handle by reading silently in his head, but the contents of this book were beyond him to a degree. He was curious to learn what was written in it, wanting to know if the Lechners were mentioned in the book. There was a sudden urge to know where his family fit in the grand scheme of Lupine history.
He sat on the floor, propped against a wall, looking at the book, reading it, devouring the information he could. While there was no mention of his family, Gerwald was still learning much about how the Lupines had learned from the humans, and how they had used their power to rule the world which had been their home. Gerwald wanted to see it, to see the Schwartzweld.
He didn’t know long he had been reading, but after a time, Gerwald put the tome down and began to rub his eyes. There were so many questions, and even more considering what Katrine had already told him about her life, the way she was raised, and how that had impacted what life was like for Lupines now.
Gerwald wanted to know, and he had known from the start Katrine was his future. She was the key to it all.
Posted 11 June 2018 - 12:26 AM
The ship had finally departed off the planet that once stood for happy stories of crazy times. Coruscant. Mother loved it for all the memories she'd created with Seth and Father here. Now, Coruscant left a different memory inside her mind and after sticking around for a bit while A.R.K.I. had tapped into some of the feed around the city, Katrine had finally decided to keep what she had promised. She would let Pebble be for now. If she wanted to be released, she was released. That didn't change what she had said, when she was ready to come home, she would have it.
She'd been in the office reviewing her messages. Katrine had intended on going to Geonosis but among the messages, she'd found an invitation and she was sure that was where she would find Uncle Isley.
Katrine had been quickly distracted from her pain when A.R.K.I. interrupted and dismissed her tears by the annoucement she gave. Normally, she would have been upset with the AI but she was right. A Lupine was in danger, stuck on a primitive world because her brother still hadn't gone back for her. Katrine had told him he needed to go back for his sister, before she had even know Pebble had wanted to do the exact same thing long before her. Because she knew about his sister long before her. It was just another thing that left a bad taste in her mouth with everything that had happened. All those moments, all those secrets. Katrine loved him, she wasn't kidding about that. After everything, she still couldn't have been the Witch and make the decision for him. After everything she'd heard from her, she wondered why it was that he even chosen her. His sister was not part of this mess at all though and she needed to be saved.
While she was there, she didn't know A.R.K.I. had assigned one of the crew members to prepare a spread of food and deliver it into her suite, complete with food, the portable coffee maker and some sweets. Despite some of the things she said, A.R.K.I. was built primarily after Kat's Mother. She took care of Katrine, even when she didn't want her to.
Holding the datapad, Katrine returned to the suite just as the cart was being taken inside through what was once doors into the bedroom. "What's this?" She asked the crew member. "A.R.K.I. instructed we prepare this," the reply was simple, crew member dimissing himself momentarily as she made it inside, finding Gerwald on the floor, book she had been reading a few days ago on the floor. "Hey," the Witch gave before she moved to the food. She didn't want to admit it but A.R.K.I. was right. It had been a while since she'd eaten and she was getting hungry. Coruscant wasn't much of a feeding ground for wolves.
"There's a wedding on the Fortressa. Everyone's been invited. Uncle Isley should be there," she informed him as she picked up a tiny little piece of finger food. There was a small slice of meat attached to it, slightly cooked. A.R.K.I. hadn't just instructed them to make the spread, she'd also told them exactly what was necessary. Because Mother would know and so did she.
Starting up the kaf machine next, Katrine noted the added ingredients to the side. Chocolate, milk, juice already to the side and she remembered suddenly. "How do you drink your coffee?" She didn't look up, she didn't draw her eyes from the spread as she did, picking up another piece of finger food and dropping it in her mouth. She didn't want to tell why she was asking but she wanted to know still and it hadn't come up before.
Edited by Katrine Van-Derveld, 11 June 2018 - 12:27 AM.
Posted 11 June 2018 - 12:35 PM
Gerwald looked up as an assortment of foods was being brought into the room.The aroma made his mouth salivate.It was not the only smell on the air though.Katrine had returned.
"Hey..." he replied as he put the book down on the floor next to him.
He stood up from the floor where he had been sitting, curious as to what had been brought to them to eat.Gerwald usually had a massive appetite in his human form, unless he had been fresh off a kill as a wolf.The amount of meat his wolf consumed could keep him going for a couple of days, but it had been well over two weeks since his last hunt, and Gerwald was starving.His stomach growled at the sight of it, louder than his wolf could likely produce.
Katrine mentioned a wedding.Was it a good idea?Of course if they were going to do anything about the news they had received about his sister, they would need permission.Gerwald didn't want to wait to get it, but he knew that with Stewjon being under the Confederacy's protection, they could not just go kill without the Vicelord being aware of what they were about to do.
"A wedding... I don't have anything to wear if it is fancy."
Gerwald had seen the types of things the government types wore to their parties and gatherings.It was nothing like anything Gerwald owned.In fact, all of their style and clothing put what Stewjon could offer to shame.Still, Gerwald wanted to go, especially if Isley was going to be there.
"Then on to Stewjon?"
He asked as Katrine moved to the kaf machine.There were more additives than Gerwald had seen in his entire life, so much so that one could possibly not even have any coffee in their mug by the time they were done.Gerwald was simple, his preferences were what Stewjon could offer, and that was not by way of much for the son of a farmer, and a warrior.How many battles had he been camped out where his only choice was black coffee, and still had grounds in the cup because of how it was made.
Ger knew why she was asking though.Scherezade had pointed out that Katrine didn't even know how he liked his coffee.The question served to open the wound all over again, and the reality that they did not know as much about each other as they could have.His eyes shifted to her.
"Black as night..." he said as he grabbed some of the meats that were simply loose on the tray.He had no need for the fancy breads that they were on, or the cheeses.While he liked them, he preferred his meat as uncompromised as his coffee.
"And... if I ever decided to surprise you with coffee one morning?"
Posted 11 June 2018 - 12:56 PM
He didn't have anything to wear, she heard him say as she took another piece of food. She gave a shrug. "We'll figure it out. You're too tall for the clothes I do have but if we don't stop anyway, some magic can solve that." Katrine took a lot of her Mother's clothes because they reminded her of her but she also had a small collection of other things, bits, and pieces she had taken from the Crimson Shadow for the same reason Curupira kept them there. For the men of their family, when they were around. Of course, Mother's ship in this time only held clothes for Father but in the future, there were always clothes for Ram and Seren just as she and Chloe could have made use of anything she had. The Van-Dervelds did, on occasion, forget their own clothes in places and didn't go back to always having some spares was a good thing.
Katrine gave a nod to the question. "Yes, no more stops after that. Stewjon is the next stop." There would literally be no more stops after the Fortressa. Nocte Aranea would be going straight there. They had waited too long. It was already too long even before she had found out. A.R.K.I. had only picked it up because of Gerwald's continued presence on the ship. Normally, she was inspecting the net for any sign of Kat's family but she advanced by herself, without given specific instructions from Katrine so she did in this case as well. She didn't mind in the slightest, especially not in this situation.
Black as night, he told her, her head lifting as she heard it. "That's easy," she pointed out as the black coffee poured from the machine into the cup, making her only pick it up and offer it to him. "One black as night coffee," she said as her other hand placed the second cup, taller than the first one into place. Then he asked about hers. "Well, if there is no other option, I'll take mine black as night or with a bit of milk buuuuut...," Kat started, grinning slightly before she would recite. "In a tall cup, third of it goes hot black kaf, third of it chocolate and third milk. And if there's any seasonal bitter fruit juice, that goes in too up to the top." It was a healthy dosage of odd combinations, she was well aware.
"I like coffee but I was also deprived of chocolate because Mother was allergic. And the juice was meant as a joke. My Nona told me once to drink juice before I have coffee when I was younger so as a joke, I poured juice into the hot coffee and ended up liking it." It was a long explanation but that was really the extent of it. Two things she really loved combining and the third was just tasty. "Juice is optional though." Off the ship, though. On the ship, they usually had everything in stock. Which was why all that was waiting now as she took her cup, pouring everything as she'd recited, bringing it to her nose to smell it as she smiled. Katrine did love the odd combinations, she always had. They came naturally to her.
Posted 11 June 2018 - 02:23 PM
They had a lot to figure out, but the suit for the wedding was the most pressing.Stewjon was next. Gerwald knew his size was going to make finding something difficult, but he was not going to miss being seen with Katrine for anything.Even if it was a wedding that she would not understand based on what she had already told him.His mind was truly all over the place as he began to come to terms with everything that had changed because of his decisions.His siblings were in trouble.Scherezade was broken.Katrine... Gerwald knew he had hurt her too.The only difference was they had time to talk about things, only to have the situation be made that much worse by what Scherezade had said, and done.
Gerwald knew all of it was because of him, and he knew that there was no one way to fix things, if he even could.
A smile graced his lips as he wrapped his large hands around the mug of coffee.It looked so tiny in his massive grip.He noticed that Katrine was giving herself a taller mug, and his brow quirked as she began to explain her preference.She did admit that it was odd.He made a mental note of how she was putting the coffee together.So long as he was awake before she was, she would find her coffee order waiting for her.There were many reason he wanted to make her happy with the little things.Much of it was that was simply his personality, but he also knee he would never be able to repay her for opening an entirely new existence to him.Her presence on Stewjon had been more than another Lupine.It had meant freedom, a new future, and a life that no one else would ever be able to offer.
"We would camp when we went out to battle.Coffee was made in a kettle that sat over the open flame.You would pour the coffee, and it was so back and strong that you would swear the hairs on your beard would wilt.It was all we had though, and you learned to like it.Every now and then you would hear about a general getting coffee from the palace that had no grounds in it... they would always talk about how weak it was...I don't think I could drink my coffee any other way.No matter what happens, it will always be a reminder of where I came from.
His lips touched the top of her head before he sipped his coffee.Then as though it had become as natural as breathing, the book he had been reading floated to his hand.
"I've been reading... looking."
It was important for him to know where his family fit and why they had left.Inbreeding was an issue, that was all he gathered by reading the history the book offered to him, but beyond that there seemed to be no mention of Lechners anywhere.Had they simply been scrubbed from the records because they had abandoned the rest?Had they been sent away as some form of punishment?These were only two of many questions that reading added to what he already wanted to know.Why had they not known about each other?
"It's all centered around Figaro Favoura VII... the Schartzweld...it was a whole other culture than what you have even described to me?I want to know everything.I want to see it all.For Alwine and Var too..."
He sipped his coffee once more, it was to a point where he could take a healthier drink.
Posted 11 June 2018 - 03:58 PM
Katrine was inhaling her coffee one more time, drawing on memories from the scents. Images flew to her mind. Times which seemed so ancient now even though they were times yet to come. Gerwald talked about camping, making strong black coffee that took some getting used to. With a quick nod of her head, Katrine gave her agreement. She could drink the all black coffee if there was no option. She could drink a few combinations if she didn't have a choice but if the options existed, she took them and enjoyed them.
He talked about some general getting coffee from a palace without grounds, about how weak it was. She made a face, confusion, and disgust mixed into it. "I'm not following? What kind of palace makes that kind of disgusting mixture?" One could say whatever they wanted about her combination but at least she could enjoy good coffee and standards on what she liked.
Either way, her coffee was great, Katrine decided to bring the cup closer to her mouth just as he left a kiss on her head, making her glance at him, a small smile forming before she took a sip of her coffee, sapphire irises noting the book flying into his hand. She remembered what he'd said about his powers, remembered the surprise she'd felt over it but right now, she'd forced the memory. Pebble didn't want her right now. She had taken what Gerwald had said literally. Claimed. Pebble understood what it meant, for Gerwald she wasn't too sure. Not after yesterday.
It was the book though that had caught his attention. Figaro Favoura VII, Schartzweld. He spoke about the culture that was, what she hadn't told him. He wanted to know everything. "What I know about the old times is what Father told me. And more than that from the books I've been reading," she admitted. Father knew things, enough to keep her interested into the old tales but he didn't tell her everything. "Those books are all from our library so it makes senses they're filled with our stories. But, there are some names there. Just no Lechner. Are you sure they were Lechners when they were on Figaro Favoura VII?" She wondered. Katrine had found some names in those books already but not a single mention of Gerwald's family.
Maybe she was reading the wrong books. Maybe they weren't always the Lechners.
Or maybe... "Maybe I should just write a spell to find the Lechners," she randomly thought. Maybe that would have been easiest. Tricky to write a spell like that, especially for the written word but it would be quicker than having A.R.K.I. scan book by book. It was an idea at least, she wondered, drinking her coffee again, reaching for the finger food. Katrine wasn't sure right now where she'd even start with a spell like that yet.
Posted 11 June 2018 - 04:49 PM
"The ruling class on Stewjon... everything is so filtered... light... weak... apparently."
He sighed, because he knew why they were talking about coffee.Gerwald pushed it all away though everything in him wanted to talk about it, and ask if she was okay.He'd already asked a million and one times he felt, and what they both needed now was to walk through whatever steps of grief they were going to experience so they could continue on with their lives.Scherezade had made the choice for them both.She simply left.Gerwald's had been the trigger.He kept replaying them over and over in his mind to try and find what it had been, and the only word he could come think of was the word claimed.
In his defense of how he could even respond to Katrine with love and desire, he had recounted the moments he had shared with her.It was a painful admission that he had moments with both women, neither knew of.Part of it had been him assuming things that were not true, but the other part of it had been Gerwald refusing to think beyond himself long enough to follow the consequences through to conclusion.So many impulsive decisions had been made from the moment the Confederacy appeared on Stewjon, and the consequences of them all were finally coming to rest.
Gerwald could ask his question later, when the wounds were not so fresh.
Had Lechner always been the family name?
"I... well... I don't know.It is the only name I have known.However, we know my mother hasn't always been forthcoming with what she knows..."
Perhaps they would have to press his mother for the truth when they arrived on Stewjon.Could it be as simple as the name being changed at some point, and if it had been would Gerwald reclaim their family name?Then again it was all speculation at this point.He was so desperate for answers that any idea was plausible at this point.Katrine even offered to write a spell for him, but he shook his head.They had more urgent matters and more pressing things they needed to deal with.Alwine and Varick had to come first.This curiosity was simply something to keep his mind occupied, and from going where it he did not want it to go.
"Until you came into my life I knew nothing of Figaro Favoura VII.Everything that I had known was that there were only four Lupines that were alive.I lived like we were an endangered race, careful not to be discovered and hunted.Can you imagine what that constant fear can do to a mind?It was different prison than what you dealt with on Orcus, but it was a prison nonetheless.When you came into my life, in that moment, it all changed.I saw a new future, one that I had to have... I know you heard me when I said that when I saw you, I saw my future.That is still true.You are my future."
Posted 12 June 2018 - 09:45 AM
Filtered. Light. Weak. Katrine shook her head. "Someone should force good coffee down their throats. Of course, it would be a shame to waste good coffee on them. Maybe just force bad coffee down their throats," she suggested, smile turned to a smirk for a moment because for just a moment, she had gotten lost in the conversation about coffee that she didn't think why they were talking about it. Katrine was aware but she wasn't thinking about it.
With her questions of the Lechners, Gewald admitted he didn't know since it was the only name he did know. Katrine sipped her coffee, reaching for the finger food between her sips, entertaining ideas in her mind. "We'll use your blood," she said after a few moments. Some of the book covers had rich red colors in the leather as if they had been marked. She had noticed it in the library and maybe, just maybe, there would be a marking of other families as well. She somehow doubted her ancestors wrote as they bled from open wounds. Blood magic carried its risks, Katrine stayed away as often as she could even though there were situations where there were no other options. Perhaps this would be one of those. Gerwald wasn't entertaining the idea now though, at least that's what she gathered from the way his head shook.
He talked about having not known about their planet, about the existence of others beyond his family. He'd lived like they were an endangered species. Katrine stayed quiet, mind focused on the endangered bit. Could she imagine what that constant fear could do to a mind? Different prison than what she felt on Orcus, he'd even explained. Things changed with her, helped him see a new future. When he saw her, he saw his future, she heard him again. Katrine looked at him.
"Depends on how you look at it. We kinda are, an endangered species that is. Ever since Uncle Vega committed the Winnowing, or Great Culling. Wiped everyone but his wife, children, and siblings. At least the ones I know about. Father doesn't talk about it too much, I don't know how many they were before the Winnowing but he makes a point to say who has been spared." It was part of her history lessons of their species. None of the books spoke of it because it was where it was sure their history came to a halt, where the nothing pestered in like a dark era. Lights shouldn't have shined on the Schartzweld for decades to come but she was here, he was here; now was the right time.
She didn't want to think of the dark times of nothing, just as she didn't want to think of the future she had liberated herself from. She remembered, always remembered the voice and face. Staring at herself, not realizing it was herself at all as her ancient self hid the purple hair that would have given her away, Katrine had stared into the darkest possible future there was. Wasn't Ram proof of that? And where was Seren? Had she felt his scent on Relovian or not? Had they all gone and left? And there was no Gerwald in that time, there couldn't have been. Not if she had spent a lifetime or trying to escape her own curse. No Lupine, no love, no future. None.
Everything paused suddenly. Choose or die. This is no life for a wolf, a sharp breath exited her mouth as she saw her. Hair purple, losing color, face pale and wrinkly, sapphire gaze staring back at her. Katrine inhaled, eyes growing wider. The old woman in her vision inhaled and then exhaled. Gone. Her hand gripped into the cup as she returned into the present, her ears suddenly catching Gerwald's breathing. The sight of him brought her completely back, into the now. She was sure it was the now when she saw him.
"I chose you. You are my future," she said, his words still fresh in mind even with the vision. Katrine chose him a long time ago now. In fact, she wasn't sure she'd even entertained the idea of Gerwald choosing Pebble until she had heard everything in her speech. She'd been angry with him for not telling her, for getting involved with her Ward all the while not telling her anything about where they were. Just scraps here and there. That, however, didn't change the fact that she had chosen. It was a question of him choosing always.
All the truth Pebble shared though made her wonder. Part of her still wondered. "Is that it though? I saved you, I opened your mind. Becuase what Pebble said, there was a lot of it. I don't think I even considered the option of you choosing her until all that," her voice grew quieter as she spoke, her hands bringing the cup to her mouth in an attempt to make herself stop talking. It hadn't really worked, she'd said what was on her mind and hadn't taken a sip at all...
Posted 12 June 2018 - 06:41 PM
Forcing coffee down the the throats of the ruling class on Stewjon, now that would be a sight.Gerwald harbored so much hatred for them now that he was aware of the freedoms he had missed because of their system.Until the Confederacy had come, Gerwald did not know there was anything else available to him.Katrine had opened a world to him that was not supposed to exist at all.What had once been a small and insignificant life, had become something grand.Gerwald was meant for a much larger purpose than anything Stewjon could offer him.His future was also buried in the past of who his family had been before they had disappeared from annals of Lupine history and genealogy.
Using blood... Katrine talked of spells and wizardry, things which his culture had forbidden and attributed with evil things.Katrine was not evil.He could not think to find an evil bone in her body, not what he knew of her anyway.Gerwald was a killer however, and there would be those who would call him evil.His hands had shed the blood of many people, those who deserved, and even those who did not.It was something about who he was that he had come to terms with early on.No one could survive as a warrior and not come to terms with dealing death to others.
The question had come as the event itself had come as a surprise.This was new information, and it described Lupine against Lupine.War was something every culture seemed to understand, but how was it that their culture could not avoid it.Perhaps it was the nature of being wolves as well, but Gerwald suddenly felt the urge to see their kind united under one banner.
It was not the future that Katrine had come from.Gerwald knew nothing of it.All he knew was that her presence now, and with him, changed what she had known.They had a chance to shape a good future, and a better one, for Lupines.There would be no more hiding who they were, no more winnowings.
She had chosen.He was her future.
Then the subject of what Scherezade had said came up.He sighed because he knew that those words, everything she had said, would make anyone doubt.Gerwald could not lie about how close they had been, and he had promised Katrine that he would be honest with her.For every lie, or for every time he withheld information, Gerwald would have to tell the painful truth over and over again until his words could be trusted.When he told Katrine he loved her, it would be painted with the brush of his dishonesty until it wasn't.
"I know...I saw the pain in you eyes when you came out of the closet after it all."
Gerwald didn't know if should move closer, stay put, or take a couple steps back.She had chosen him, but they had not talked about what Scherezade had said, not since she left.The only guarantee Gerwald had given her was that he would never leave her.
"...and I knew that what caused it.When I say that you are my future, that is what it has always been.I don't know what else to tell you at this point, other than that.I love you.From the moment I saw you I knew I had to be with you.It was you then.It is you now. You are my future."
He wanted to ask about their time at the waterfall, if what Scherezade had said invalidated the raw passion, the love, and how right it felt, but Gerwald didn't.He didn't want to entertain the idea, because he didn't want her to doubt it.Hadn't that moment told her what she needed to know?The moments that followed.No, Gerwald had to say something.
"The time we spent in the forest, the waterfall, our songs... it all says how I feel, what I want.I have chosen you.I love you.What can I do to erase any doubt that there might be?
Posted 13 June 2018 - 12:48 AM
"The Winnowing. That's how Father refers it. It essentially was the biggest culling of our species from what he told me," Katrine corrected with a nod. It wasn't something that got talked a lot in the Van-Derveld Hawk household. Just something the kids needed to be aware of as they grew. Why her Uncle Vega had gone and done it and then vanished, she still didn't understand. "They disappeared after, him and his mate. Damien was the first of them to show up. He's Vega's grandson. My cousin," Katrine added. It'd been a hot minute since she'd seen her cousin though with everything that had been going on but Kat harbored no negative feelings for what his Nono had done to the species, it wasn't his fault. In fact, his presence had made her time a little easier, having another Lupine beside her.
He saw it in her eyes when she'd left the closet. Katrine still wasn't looking up at him, gaze focused on a random spot over the food, cup still close to her mouth. He saw her as his future, always had. He loved her. Her then, her now. Her head rose slightly, making herself look at him with a sad expression. Not for herself but for her sister. All those moments, all those times together and Gerwald still spoke the way he did. Before she said anything, Gerwald talked about their time in the forest, the waterfall, the songs. What could he do to erase any doubt?
"Moving forward you never do that again. Ever. Not without telling me first," she pointed point, a quiet sigh escaping her lips as she did. He could have, he could care but Katrine couldn't deal with the lies or dishonesty. Not anymore. "My soul hurts for losing my sister. I didn't have the strength to go after her, to explain what you said was wrong. I just hope I'll have a chance to someday." Her coffee was half finished when she put the cup down on the table, moving closer towards him, forgetting her food. She wanted him in her personal space right now. "And we really should discuss the claiming. I don't think I've explained it," she added after a moment.
Posted 13 June 2018 - 11:44 AM
Gerwald understood.It sounded like one Lupine decided that it needed to happen, and so he took matters in his own hands.Such a man needed to be hunted down and killed for such a thing.Genocide was evi, but genocide against your own kind... that was an abomination, and should be treated as such.
There was little tame for Gerwald to feel angry about what he had learned though.The mood of room had definitely taken a shift, and all it served to do was make Gerwald feel the shame he rightfully deserved to feel.The guilt ate away at him.It was entirely his fault that Katrine had lost a sister, and that he had lost a lover.Scherezade had been more than a lover though, she had become his best friend, and what he had done was inexcusable.Any anger toward him was justified, but he still would not stand for the misdirected anger she had shown Katrine.The Scherezade he saw post recovery was not the Scherezade he knew and loved.This one he knew would have never escalated so quickly, nor would she have renounced her family, not when she was desperate to have one.
It did not make sense in Gerwald's mind at all.
Katrine made herself look at him, and that only added to the guilt.Her gaze was something he yearned for, and to have it only because it was forced hurt.It was his making though.He had to let things move as they would.Time would be the only thing that would bring the healing they needed, time and honesty.
Gerwald's hand rested on her arm just below her shoulder.His eyes looked at her with an intent that he needed her to be closer.There was something about being physically close that told him things would be okay.
"Never again... and after this... There is no one else I want to share my bed with anymore, Katrine.My actions and my words pushed her away.I am sorry that I caused this much pain....we both love her, and yes, I clearly do not understand everything claiming involves..."
He pulled her closer into a secure embrace, holding her as long as she would allow.
"How was I wrong?"
Edited by Gerwald Lechner, 13 June 2018 - 03:06 PM.
Posted 13 June 2018 - 04:00 PM
No one else... His actions and his words. He was sorry. "I want what's in here," she tapped at his chest, to his heart, "before anything. As long as I have your love and we're always talking to each other, I'll be happy." Katrine was curious. She'd admitted her interest before she had done anything. That was what she wanted in return. She felt his arm, drawing her nearer as she moved to him
He pulled her in, her body leaning in for safety. It calmed her down, eyes closing for a moment before he asked how he was wrong. "Claiming isn't just words. The act itself involves marking flesh during intimacy," Katrine explained without actually moving. "Marks, just like the ones the spirits left on my back." He'd seen her marks, tattoos, brands, and scars. The three claw marks, each done by a different spirit.
"I wouldn't ever let us claim each other while she was recovering. Even if the circumstances had been different, especially not on the very bed" she said, finally picking up her chin to look at him. There was his scent again. Unique to the singular Lupine. It too made her feel better, her expression softening, smile forming. There was less doubt, less fear when he held her.
Edited by Katrine Van-Derveld, 13 June 2018 - 04:14 PM.
Posted 13 June 2018 - 11:57 PM
”I will kill you...”
Those words still rang through his mind. Katrine was right. They would not either of them be able to explain anything to her now.
”You have it... and I promise you, you will always come first. I told, I’m not going to keep any secrets from you.”
She spoke of claiming, marking. The spirits had marked her, Gerwald had seen them. He had been curious about them, what they were, why she had them, and what they had meant. Now he knew, and it was still an odd thought to him, how the spirits worked through her.
He leaned back slightly to look at her.
”You definitely left that part out of your explaination, and that is something I would never have thought of doing. Though I am beginning to understand why you see this is deeper than marriage.”
”Before they started doing wedding on Stewjon, the couple who were pledging themselves to each other would have a small private exchange of vows in the presence of their family. A circle would be cut around each of their thumbs and they would join hands and allow their blood to flow. It was a covenant they made, breakable only by death. It was a deeper and more intimate thing than what they practice now. It was about being one, fully and completely...”
”It’s not the same as what you say completely, but I understand why you said it is deeper...”
Posted 14 June 2018 - 11:49 AM
He promised she would always come first. He wouldn't keep any secrets from her. She nodded. That was what she wanted, what she needed. And just like she wanted and needed it, she would give him the same in return. He would always know, no matter what. There would be no secrets. Katrine leaned into it a little more, still looking up at him as she had explained.
As she explained, he pointed out she hadn't mentioned before, something he hadn't even thought about doing before. Though it did help to explain why she thought it deeper. "Well, yeah. There are deeper bonds too," she recalled. "They're rare though. Sometimes, they're done intentionally and sometimes they grow with time." Claiming was important to the Witches though, part of their culture, whether it was to own or love. To Force Bond was dangerous though, creating an unbreakable connection between two people, allowing them to feel what the other one was feeling, able to see each other through space. In the event of a death, there was a chance of the other dying from all the pain. Mother could always feel Father, even from distances. He could see inside her mind with an ease. Katrine knew though it hadn't been on purpose, it had grown over time.
Gerwald told her about Stewjon, about private exchanges of vows in the presence of family, cutting into flesh to signify blood connecting. They made a covenant, breakable only by death. Deeper and more intimate. While he knew it wasn't the same but he understood what she meant. "It's a declaration," she commented. "I don't think there's anything magical in the act. If this was done on Dathomir, it would be." There definitely would have been. Using blood magic in any form would be deeper, stronger. And possibly truly breakable only by death. "Well, a claim can be broken. A Witch can release her mate by speaking words," she admitted. Hawks didn't use them. Their commitments were made true and they didn't part ways. She knew if her Nono asked for it, Nona would do it. It would destroy her but she would release him if he asked. She could never release him though of her own accord. "I know for a fact that if Nono asked to be released, Nona would do it. The choice would kill her but Hawks don't hold their mates against their will." It was a series of a dragged out conversations. Nona hadn't wanted to answer her questions but she did and looking back on the memory now, Katrine understood what she didn't back then, how painful it was for Nona to speak about it.
Posted 14 June 2018 - 07:14 PM
"Deeper bonds," he asked still very curious.
Gerwald did not know of anything deeper.He also was still very unschooled in what was possible with the force.A force bond was something he knew nothing about, and even if Katrine explained it to him it would take some getting used to the idea.It was already interesting enough to have mental conversations with people.Though that was a skill and reality he was growing in.Then she spoke about claims being broken and that Hawks didn't force their mates to remain.It was in the same way that Katrine had not forced Scherezade to stay. She had let her go despite Ger's protest and insistence that she go after her.He had felt helpless to go after, but Katrine could have.
"I told you that I will not leave you, and I won't ask to leave either."
It was a reassurance as she came closer to him.His lips found hers after he spoke.Their last true kiss felt like a millennia ago with what they had been through, and now... he needed it.They would walk through what they needed to.When the time was right they would make their claim.Katrine and Gerwald would truly make that decision together, or she would just act.Either way Gerwald already knew that he would not walk away from it.He was committed to her, and made a promise to her.
The idea of being bonded for life did not scare him, not like it would have had he settled on Stewjon.There was freedom knowing this was his choice and not one his mother, or anyone else expected of him.There was something about being with her, and around her, that woke something up inside him.His wolf always felt more alive, but Gerwald was always more... impulsive, but not in a way that lacked thought.She made him want to take what was his.Even if what she was telling him that she would not force anything on him, he had no want or desire to break anything they would agree to.
He inhaled deeply after breaking the kiss.Gerwald held it for some time.His eyes stayed fixed on hers, and he said nothing, but simply let the weight of the kiss speak to the truth of the words he had just spoken.
Posted 15 June 2018 - 05:06 AM
Katrine nodded. Deeper blonds. "Potentially deadly," she said, though her tone was light even as she did as if she was joking. It was kinda funny and kinda romantic but seriously deeper. "It runs so deep that the other person could die an of a broken heart their partner died. Because they feel everything the other one is feeling, able to connect anywhere. At least, if it's done intentionally. I don't know just how deep it gets if it forms over time." Katrine wasn't too sure about it. Like, would Father die if Mother did? Would she? Their bond wasn't intentionally done.
Her words had Gerwald telling her again he wouldn't leave her and he wouldn't ask for it either. "I know. That is the difference between the two though," she clarified. Katrine wasn't talking about him. Nono wouldn't ask either, she knew. His mouth found hers right after and as Kat gave into it, she pushed herself onto her toes before the Force lifted her even higher to meet him, not fully aware she was doing it as she did. It felt like home, centered and grounded her. There was no fear in this. Katrine loved him. She felt like she'd loved him the moment she'd found him. There was some doubt lingering but more than that, her heart hurt from her loss. There was no fear though when it came to her feelings for Gerwald or in being with him.
In the back of her mind, Katrine knew this was it. He was only one. Katrine could love, her heart was big enough to love but he was the only one she was willing to let stand beside her, lead the Lupines with her. She would never permit anyone else into that. Never. In the middle of their kiss, Katrine didn't hold back on what she was feeling, didn't lock him out in any way. No secrets, no lies. One Lupine completed the other Lupine, in any shape or form, in every way.
When the kiss broke, her gaze didn't move from his though a tiny redness did still form on her cheeks as she realized just how exposed she'd made herself. Katrine couldn't fully grasp the concept of shame or even being shy, she hadn't even felt the latter until that day on Ryloth. This was different though, this was her. Her life, her future; their future.
Posted 15 June 2018 - 09:44 AM
As they kissed, Gerwald was overwhelmed with what Katrine was feeling. He felt the pain of the loss her heart felt, the love she had for him, there was a purity to it, but also the hurt his dishonesty had caused. She was certain though, so very certain. It had always been right and natural. From the moment they met it had been like this, Gerwald could sense it.
Whatever walls he had fell. Her overwhelming honesty in that one kiss had been enough to disarm him in every way. How else could he respond. His walls could fall or they could be built stronger. One of those was a mistake Gerwald was not going to make. He let them fall because she needed to feel what was in his heart. There was pain, but also it was so much lessened in this moment. Being near her made him want to shut the rest of the universe out. Gerwald wanted to give her whatever she wanted. He still ached for the damage he’s done to Scherezade, but Katrine had even reached into that part of him like a healing salve.
It was all he could say. His eyes did not leave hers. The force kept her closer to his height. It may have been an odd sight for someone who would have seen it, but Gerwald found it endearingly cute. His arms wrapped around her waist needing to have her closer. Even holding was not going to do. His mouth took another kiss and another, as he found himself ignoring the food and coffee. It could wait. Finding something for the wedding could wait. There was an openness about them, a promise, desire, and need.
”I love you,” he said when their lips parted again. ”Don’t ever doubt that I am yours...”
Posted 15 June 2018 - 05:00 PM
There was a small, incredibly small smile to her words. Katrine hadn't missed it. It sounded painful as hell but the fact that he could see the odd beauty in it was a good thing. There used to be things Katrine thought were important in a relationship. Like explosions and mass murder. She didn't think too much of it now but his smile reminded her suddenly that even when he didn't have to, he had been on Orcus, fought against the Orcani who had been eager to kill them, especially her. She was the Desecrator to them, they were out for her blood. While it been a game of counting bodies for him Pebble, he'd still been there.
It was a rush, cheeks growing warmer as she felt his own walls come down. She felt his pain and the need to make it all go away. It made her smile even with her own truths revealed, hands raising to come around the neck as he'd made the singular comment to it. "It's okay to let go," she whispered, reminding herself possibly even more than telling him at the moment. "I'll always let you see me." He could and should have seen her, no matter what.
She responded to his kiss, his arms holding her. The longer he did, the more Katrine felt herself letting go of her connection to the Force and trusting him not to let her fall, every kiss met and return. There was that bubble again, shutting everything out, muffling and finally quieting the voices. A stillness in time. And when he broke the last kiss, it was to remind her he loved her. "I love you," Katrine spoke, barely releasing a sound but hearing herself loud and clear. Don't ever doubt that I am yours..., she heard and a smile appeared on her face. "I don't." In the bubble, there was no doubt, no fear. There were only them.
Posted 16 June 2018 - 11:14 AM
There were more promises between them in those moments, and while Gerwald could not predict the future, he knew that his would be with hers, and that future would be new. It was that thought that found him walking with her in his arms toward her bed. There was something about the conversation, and the mood between them, that made Gerwald ache to be as close to Katrine as possible. His mind could have been on other things, but it wasn’t in the moment it was her, it was him, and that was all.
He laid her on her back, though he’d been strong enough he supposed he could have held her longer, and soon his lips found hers once more. Perhaps had they not been on the ship he would have insisted they run free in the form Gerwald was beginning to prefer when on Ryloth. He knew the wolf ached to be free most days, and he knew the wolf ached to see the white wolf which was Katrine. Dragonflower has been the first time he’d seen the wolf, and she had stolen the shirt. The one Gerwald was in now. Though it did not take him long to cast it aside. It no longer smelled like Katrine so it was her turn to have it back.
There was not much of a need for him to keep it however. He was with her, and her scent was close. It always took him back to Stewjon, the moment he first picked up on it. There was still a mystery to that moment, a question of how and why they had not known of other Lupines. Right now, Gerwald didn’t care about that question even. He just wanted to be with Katrine, and he craved the intimacy of the moment they were sharing. As completely open and honest as they were being, with not hiding themselves through the force, it was an intimacy they needed, with promises to be sealed and consummated.
She was his future, he was hers... the future was theirs to have.
Posted 16 June 2018 - 01:16 PM
She didn't feel the very moment when her connection to the Force simply went dormant. There but not used at all but Katrine was aware that the only things holding her in the air were his and her arms. More so even his than hers. They were moving, the blonde was aware but she didn't care in the slightest. Such was the strength of the bubble Gerwald's closeness could create. Katrine cared for nothing beyond it nor did she think about it. Her mind was completely in the now.
It wasn't until she'd been laid down that she realized just what had happened. Katrine released him only then, sapphire gaze suddenly focused, watching him remove the familiar shirt. A howl threatened to escape her throat but the human form didn't, not on the outside. There was always that. With Gerwald and only Gerwald, was who Katrine desired completely. She was one, he was one but the predator inside her called for every part that made him him. It was something Katrine didn't know she needed. How was she supposed to know that deep craving inside her soul was crying out for another just like her, how much she burned to find her equal. She could love and desire but it was never going to be like that. No, with Gerwald she had found that equal and that one individual that completed her in a way that no other species ever could.
Katrine Van-Derveld had found her home, and it was with a Lupine.
And with that singular conclusion to her thoughts, she called to the Force as she prompted herself up as he did away with his shirt, their shirt, and rid herself of her own fabric, discarding it somewhere with a disinterest she seemed to have for her clothes only when she was around Gerwald. Material things seem to become even more meaningless than they already were. The wolf didn't care for any of it and only another wolf could make the wolf even stronger than she was.