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Exodus Day - the Bathroom Sequence

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#1
Scherezade deWinter

Scherezade deWinter

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Disclaimer: During the events of Exodus Day, Darth Tacitus ordered Scherezade deWinter to go get cleaned up and change clothes, and Josh Dragonsflame accompanied her. To avoid spamming the main thread, their discussion while away from the military play has been moved to this thread. The original RP was done on Discord, and we will be pasting the lines here.


Edited by Scherezade deWinter, 17 June 2018 - 11:31 PM.

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#2
Josh Dragonsflame

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EXODUS 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

 

Josh had been surprised at the man’s sudden change in tone, but couldn’t find it in himself to believe him. The man stunk of darkness, and it felt more like he had realized a way to use this to his advantage. When he spoke of teaching her how to turn her pain into strength, he understood. He understood all too well from when Circe had once found him in pain. The man did not want to help... He wanted a puppet. He wanted a weapon. Just as she had. Of course, she hadn’t gotten her weapon... Instead she got a punch in the face. Schutta deserved it for taking his brother away.

 

He was also still surprised she still pulled him along despite the note there was no need. He shrugged though, wordlessly, and went with it. He hadn’t disappointed a lady before, he wasn’t starting now. He had been curious when a wolf had appeared but he dared not pet it. He was a canine person and wanted to but he felt it would have probably taken his hands. Once the two had set out again though, he looked toward her. “So, what happened?”


Edited by Josh DragonsFlame, 18 June 2018 - 07:07 AM.

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#3
Scherezade deWinter

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She was walking. She was still walking. They were walking away from the scene, away from where she had summoned the Sword of Darkness, away from that woman. The wolf was still with them, her fingers never too far from touching and stroking its fur. He had a calming effect on her that she had not felt once since getting out of the Darkness.

 

Josh’s words almost went unheard, but once she realized what he’d asked, she wished direly that she had a bottle, any bottle. “I hate that vile woman,” she almost hissed, “I hate her.” For a moment, she left it at that. “She is a mother. She has children. She has left them. She…” she looked at Josh, realizing she wasn’t making much sense, “she’s my sister’s mother. And she just abandoned her. There’s a special sort of hell somewhere for parent who willfully abandon their children.”


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#4
Josh Dragonsflame

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His grip on her tightened for a moment, as his eyes grew cold. “Indeed” Josh growled low. It wasn’t often he showed this sort of emotion, but children were a topic that did. “As a father myself, I couldn’t imagine doing what she did. That’s despicable.” Though a question came to him. “Your sister? The one who... Well.... You know?”


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#5
Scherezade deWinter

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Scherezade nodded miserably. She needed a drink. She needed… She probably needed food too, but a drink seemed more urgent. She supposed Josh didn’t have any on him, and the docks were too far away. She also had a tiny hunch that Tacitus might have sent him to keep an eye on her, though she had no reason to think so. But maybe… She sighed. “Yes,” she replied, “the same one. She told me that her mother was missing. All it took was one sniff with the Force for me to know who that woman was. I told her. I offered her. I begged her to come with me, that I’d bring her back in a few hours. She refused. What kind of a mother refuses to see her child? It’s been years since they saw each other!”


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#6
Josh Dragonsflame

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He had words about Tacitus. But they would wait until his serving droids were gone. “Like mother, like daughter, I guess. But... I’m curious” Josh would admit. “Why go to those lengths for someone who stabbed you in the back? Why push yourself to that level of agony for someone who hurt you like that?”
 
“It’s very... Un-Sithlike of you” He would muse aloud. “But then again... I’ve gotten that vibe from you since the start, to be honest.”

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#7
Scherezade deWinter

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Why go through those lengths? Why push herself to that level of agony? Scherezade frowned. Josh also said it was un-Sith like of her, that he had a vibe since the start. How could she explain it? How could she tell him that she hoped… That she still hoped it was some sort of a bad dream, that maybe she was still in the Darkness and this was a possible way out. That maybe if Katrine had her mother, she wouldn’t have betrayed Scherezade, or her mother would push her to make things right. But the more she thought about it, the more stupid it all sounded. “I hate your questions,” she snapped at him.


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#8
Josh Dragonsflame

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She had hesitated for a bit, he noted, before turning instead to snap at him. The Jedi would frown, and just stare at her for a bit, brown eyes piercing into her own.

 

“And I hate that you can’t seem to make up your damn mind on whether you’ve decided to confide, or trust, or not” He spoke up, quirking a brow. “It’s never yes or no, it’s always halfway with you. And when you hit the halfway point you always take it out on me.”

 

He wasn’t intoxicated this time, and seemed less likely to just back down compared to before. Though this whole thing certainly did make him miss the bottle.


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#9
Scherezade deWinter

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Scherezade raged. She wanted to punch Josh right in his face. She wanted to grab one of her knives and see what his spleen looked like. She wanted to, she wanted to... "You're asking for too much," she finally replied, her voice breaking. She couldn't trust him. She want allowed to trust him. If she trusted him it would only be a matter of time before he betrayed her too. It was better to close herself off. Besides, they'd only slept together that one time. She'd learned on her own flesh that it meant or promised nothing. "You're asking about parts of me that should've been reserved for..." For Gerwald.


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#10
Josh Dragonsflame

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“Reserved for him” He finished. He took a deep breath then, as he would gently take her hand. “Look... I can’t be him. I get that. Nobody can. But I hate to say this, but he betrayed you. He left you for someone else, Scherezade. If someone had done that to me, I know deep down I would miss them, sure, but... I don’t think I could stand to continue to give them this much of me. They lost that right when they betrayed me. As far as I can see... It’s okay to miss him. It’s okay to still be in love, it’s part of life. But as far as I’m concerned... He lost that right to you. You give him far more than he deserves.”

 

Josh’s expression lightened. “And I get that too. I’m not blaming you. I just wish there was something I could do.”


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#11
Scherezade deWinter

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For him.

 

Scherezade nodded miserably.

 

"You don't understand," she said when Josh finished speaking, her hands entertaining in the fur of the wolf next to her, "if... I keep asking myself... what if..." She paused. She needed a drink. The fog was leaving her and it was just making everything worse. She was getting dangerously close to sober now, and she didn't want to. "If he showed up now out of thin air and said he'd made the wrong choice..." She sighed, "I would fly into his arms and never let go."

 

And there was the truth of it. The ugly, sad, pathetic truth of it.


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#12
Josh Dragonsflame

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Josh would let out a sigh and nod his head. “I get it” He responded. It was sad, but he got it. “I get it” He repeated.

 

“I’ve been cheated on and left for someone else, same as what he did to you. And it’s horrible. It’s one of the worst feelings in the world. Especially when it’s your first relationship... Which it was for me, and by the sounds of it, seems to be as such for you. You blame your own flaws... You hate them but can’t help but think it’s your fault. You don’t want to believe it’s real, that it’s just a horrible, horrible dream. And if they told you they hadn’t meant to, that they made a mistake you’d take them back easily. Anything to stop this nightmare. But it’s real. They thought so little of you that they decided you couldn’t satisfy them alone... And that you weren’t worth it in favor of the new, shiny thing.”

 

He took a breath and shook his head. “It makes you feel worthless. Useless. It makes you blame yourself and examine every flaw you have. I found my first relationship in my apartment, in my bed, with someone else. And it destroyed me. These feelings you have.. Are okay. Understandable. But one day you’re going to realize something. It’s that he isn’t the man that you thought or think he was. And that he wasn’t worth your trust, or love. Just like mine wasn’t.

 

Let me ask you a question, actually... Mine decided a guy who could score her drugs was worth more than I was. Does that sound like someone I should be so eager to forgive and take back? Who I should give so much of myself to where I can’t trust anyone else? Answer me truthfully.”


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#13
Scherezade deWinter

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By the Force, she wanted to nitpick each and every one of his sentences, starting with the fact that she and Gerwald had not been in an exclusive relationship together. He had betrayed her, he had broken her, but he had not cheated on her. She also wanted to scream at herself to stop defending him, to stop shielding a man who clearly thought she was not worth sticking around for or even being honest with. Next, she wanted to punch Josh in his face again, break his nose. How dare he! How dare he be so completely correct in his assessment about how she currently felt?! Had she not told him a moment ago that he was trying to get into places that were reserved for another? Another… The word, even in her thoughts alone, sent shivers down her spine.

 

“But it’s not the same,” she said, defeated, “he did not leave me for spice. Katrine… Is the Nightmother of the Mandragora. She’s respected among the Confederacy. She has a family. She has strength. She has power. She's a petite and a blonde and very pretty. She has… She has everything, except for her mother.”


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#14
Josh Dragonsflame

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"No!"

 

He grabbed her shoulders, then, eyes wide, just staring at her and shaking his head. "Damnit, Scherezade, no!"

 

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. What she'd said had hit a chord, and it'd clearly upset him greatly. Why? Why would she think so low of herself to justify that? He had gotten upset when he'd been talking about his issues before, back on the ship on Zeltros, but nothing like this. He hadn't yelled at her before as he just did, just raised his voice a little. But soon enough his grip drastically loosened and he just stared at her, as tears finally started to fall down his face. He wasn't an angry person, he never was. But he had more emotions than most Jedi... And he knew it.

 

"No... No... Why would you think that? Damnit, no!" He cried out, quieter this time. "I don't give a damn who he left you for. I don't give a damn if it was the harbinger of the Force herself, you are not something to just be thrown away! Never think that low of yourself, never do that!" He needed a moment, just to take a deep breath, and used his arm to wipe his eyes.

 

"Just... No. No! He betrayed you, and I don't care who he left you for, never try to justify it just because of who she is. Whether he cares or not, you're someone. You're not a thing. You're not inferior, you're not a toy, and you didn't deserve to be cast aside like that. You didn't deserve to be used, you didn't deserve to be betrayed, or cast aside, or left for anyone. And I don't care who he left you for... Her position means nothing. It's the exact same as leaving you for someone who can supply spices... Regardless of why, or who, they did it. And you should not forgive it just because of what the other person can bring. That doesn't mean a damn thing.

 

If you had offered me immortality, unlimited power... Respect amongst the entire galaxy, and the ability to do as I wanted... I'd have still told you to kark off for wanting me to leave Shmi. That is how a relationship works, Scherezade, not this... This chit-show! A relationship means for better, or for worse! If you are not happy in a relationship, you fix it or you leave, but you never make them feel like you're just trading up because they weren't good enough. That's not a relationship at all. That's not love at all.

 

I... I just... I can't believe you think so low of yourself. That you would just let yourself think that he's justified, just because she has a position of power... Because you think she's so much better than you. Positions can be lost. Looks fade. We are all the same when we die and return to the Force."

 

"Besides..." He added, as a small smile would cross his lips. There was a bit of mischief in those eyes.

 

"What's so great about someone who can't keep promises anyway?"


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#15
Scherezade deWinter

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She wanted to scream when he grabbed her by the shoulders. Her hand went out, ready to toss a Force Push his way, to open a bigger distance between them. And then he just let her go, and he was crying now, and she felt like she’d somehow swallowed a frog that was lodged in her throat. Now she wanted to close the distance, to offer the back of her own hand to wipe the tears away. But she didn’t dare. More words kept pouring out. Words upon words. He was trying to tell her, to tell her that she wasn’t inferior, that she wasn’t a toy…

 

He was wrong. He didn’t know her at all. He didn’t know about her history, or what had happened to her outside of the mess with Gerwald and Katrine. He couldn’t know, because she had never told him. She hadn’t even told Katrine the full extent of it.

 

The only one who truly knew… Gerwald, Gerwald again. She cursed under her breath.

 

And then came the last question.

 

Scherezade stumbled back, unable to produce word. She shook her head madly. “That wasn’t his only shortcoming. He had a few more,” she tried to reason, “and I still love him for it, the good along the bad. Because I love him. Because I’m stupid. Because there is no reason for me to still love him, to still love her, but I do. And it’s murdering the parts of me that they haven’t killed yet. And I know… I know that if we were on the same battlefield and he would be injured, I would stand between him and the oncoming danger and use my life to shield him. And I was so scared of that happening that I dodged a mission with the Confederacy, who views me exactly as that – inferior.”


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#16
Josh Dragonsflame

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He let out a sigh. "Well, first of all, I meant your sister, not him, but both works too" Josh would admit with a shrug. "Loving someone through good and bad though... That's par for the course. There's nothing wrong with that" Josh would then add as he would let out an exhale as he finished wiping his eyes. "But you've at least acknowledged that he's done horrible things to you. That's a first step. You've already made progress"
 
He grinned lightly, then motioned for them to continue to walk as the protocol droids appeared to be getting impatient.
 
"If they view you as inferior? Kark 'em" He pointed out as he walked with his arms relaxed behind his head, though still using one to support her. "If I knew the Silvers viewed me like that, I'd just leave. I'm a person, I'm a human being, if I disagree with their chit, if they don't value me, I can go home. If I still want to help people? I don't need them for that. If I want to take on slavers? I can do that on my own. Bounty hunting for slavers, and freeing slaves along the way? I can do that, I'm flexible and it probably pays more. If I want to fight Sith? Go into their space, they're not hard to find. Back in the Republic days, the old Jedi viewed me as just a tool, a weapon. And I was blindly loyal. Even as they viewed me as just that, I didn't leave. I know better now. Just takes some perspective. Soon as I took the rose tinted goggles off... Poof! Suddenly I'm free as a bird. I'm with the Silvers because I want to be. If I don't want to be, they can take a long walk off a short pier. That's the meaning of being a person."
 
"But..." He looked back toward her again. "You're not inferior. You'll never be. If someone outranks you, you show them respect, but they are not above you, nor better than you. And nothing justifies the atrocities they commit. It's like I said... Positions can be lost like that." He snapped his fingers a few times, his eyes indicating that he'd at least cheered up a little bit as his tone seemed to lighten and take it's more humor-oriented stance.
 
"Snap snap snap. Long story short, I was the Grandmaster Of The Jedi Order, I was the head honcho of the Republic's Jedi, when the Republic's power was at it's highest and the Jedi basically ran the Republic and Jedi. I was the man, I was the big cheese, I pretty much had full reign over the galaxy if I wanted to exercise it. I could have gotten the Republic to do whatever the hell I wanted during that time. I didn't, of course, I was more concerned with separating Jedi and politics, and leaving the politics to the politicians, while returning the Jedi away from the very Sith-like path that my predecessor had begun to take it. I took my power and focused on fixing things instead of my desires. Which of course got me boosted due to the corrupt element there.”
 
He snapped his fingers again. “Poof. Gone. I had the most power of any Jedi in the galaxy, and it was gone like a snap. Now here I am, talking to you like an equal. Because you are my equal, I’m not superior to you, you’re not inferior to me.”
 
Josh would shrug. “Besides… Remember when I said before that you didn’t come off as very Sithly to me? Believe it or not, that’s a compliment coming from me. I said that because you have shown that you have something I have never seen a true Sith have… And that’s a heart. You’re a killer, I’ve seen. You’re not mentally all there, to be blunt, I’ve seen. But I’ve looked into you as deep as I can… And I see a woman who wants to be loved and to belong, correct me if I’m wrong. You have a heart. And to me, if you really, really want to talk about superiorities and inferiorities… To me, you’re better than she is. I don’t know how much my opinion is worth to you, but to me, you’re a far better person than he or she could ever be. And I think you deserve better than the chit treatment you got… From him… From her… And from the Confederacy.”
 
He shrugged again. “Do what you want with that knowledge.”

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#17
Scherezade deWinter

Scherezade deWinter

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I see you.

 

Equal.

 

Heart.

 

Scherezade shook her head. She knew Josh was trying to lift her spirits. She knew he was just trying to help. She knew, she knew he had no inkling about what some of the words he was telling her meant. He couldn’t. He hadn’t been there. He hadn’t been there when she had heard them before, in various phrasing. He hadn’t been there when Gerwald told her such similar things. He couldn’t know that despite his best attempts, all he was doing was dragging the dagger rougher into her heart and twisting it around. It was her turn to cry again, and now she pushed herself away from him, taking a few steps on her own.

 

“I want my heart to turn to stone,” she said between the tears, “and I want you to stop telling me all these things, because you’re telling me exactly the same words Gerwald had. And I let him in, and he betrayed me, and I don’t want to let you in, because sooner or later you will do the same. You might not believe it now, and your intentions are not of a malicious nature, but if I let you in, if I take your words, if I do any of that, you’re going to do the same to me as he did.”


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#18
Josh Dragonsflame

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The Jedi let out an exasperated sigh. She was stubborn about not even lightly trusting because of this one motherkarker who led her on and broke her heart. While he got it... Geez, was this what people dealt with in him? Was this what he was like? He was stubborn and he knew it, but was this what he did? He was looking in a mirror again, he realized.

 

“I did say I wasn’t trying to replace him, but if you want to make comparisons... Fine. Fine, fine, fine, we’ll do that” The Jedi would snark. “If you want to ignore the fact that we were clearly brought up in different ways, have two different creeds, the fact I’ve kept my promises so far... If you want to ignore my opinions... Let’s try facts.”

 

He took a breath. This was risky, but believe it or not, he wasn’t all there either. His eyes glimmered with mischief as a smile would tug at the edges of his mouth.

 

“Do you have another sister I should worry about?”


Edited by Josh DragonsFlame, 18 June 2018 - 08:42 AM.

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#19
Scherezade deWinter

Scherezade deWinter

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This time, she punched him, aiming her fist for his abdomen.


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#20
Josh Dragonsflame

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The Jedi would use his grip on her to pull her to the side, messing up her aim enough to block, holding her fist in his hand.

 

“I’ll take that as a no” Josh answered. “So clearly I can’t do the same thing. Not that you care about my relationship status to begin with.”


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