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Barbatos

- - - - - Barbatos Tingel Arm The Slave

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Darth Maliphant

Darth Maliphant

    そよ風

  • Character
    • Character Bio
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OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

GENERAL INFORMATION

  • Planet Name: Barbatos
  • Demonym: Barbatian
  • Region: Outer Rim
  • System Name: Astarte
  • System Features:
    • Astarte (Class K) & Belial (Class M)
      • Astarte is what is known as a Twin Sun system, off kilter in balance by the two vastly different sized suns at the center of their system. The larger of the two being a Class K named Astarte, burning yellow with a molten glow that gives its name to the system as a whole; trailed by its far smaller twin known as Belial, a class M star that forces the former start into a unbalanced orbit visible from any of the planets on the system. 

        For many on the planets, these two are referred to as the 'Brothers' with the size corresponding incorrectly to the age of each. They are often regarded as being in an eternal battle, fighting with one another as punishment for killing their father; a completely separate entity far outside the local system known only as 'Vuall'.
    • Azeban Asteroid Belt
      • Billions of varied rocks float in a semi-perfect circle around the two massive reactors at the center of the galaxy, and they are no stranger to life. Historically, the asteroid belt is thought to have been a single large planet destroyed by some unknown force, though scientists in the region believe it may have been caused by a comet from outside the galaxy, a stranger that visited the system for nothing else than destroying whatever was here before. 

        Resource wise, the asteroid belt is well endowed with minerals; though most mining projects have been abandoned due to economic stress, mismanagement, or any other reason written down in the books. Many abandoned mining facilities, both automated and otherwise, lay dormant within its depths. These were most known for mining neutronium, carbon, gold, even many crystals of both known and unknown make. Although heavily untouched, these have helped bring much business to the region off hope alone, and a strong influx of resources imported for that exact purpose. 

        Presently, the asteroid belt is well known by those travelling the end of the Hydian Way as a haunted site most smugglers and naval vessels simply refuse to go near. Often times this is disregarded as superstition, but some sources on the Holonet have shown a surprising spike of missing ships, causalities, and reports of SOS and corrupted signals coming from its varied rocky depths. Opponents to these theatrics believe it is not frequent enough to constitute anything but the standard loss of life for asteroid belts; citing numerous other Search-And-Rescue dossiers to back these claims.

        Lastly, the area holds the more grounded rumor that a shadowport from the Old Republic has sat quiet within its turbulent nexus. As legend serves, the station was well known for housing some of the raunchiest criminals in the galaxy; those with enough gall to move past the 'haunted' rumors and find refuge where bounty hunters often refused to traverse. However, despite the well given attention, the location is now abandoned for unknown reasons, though conspiracies theorize anything from an unsanctioned assault by the Republic prior to the Great Galactic War to the release of the Rakghoul plague, to some ritual bringing about a group of Starweirds to decimate the entire port. None of these have been substantiated however, as the port itself hasn't been confirmed by historians or explorers as of yet
    • Pursan (Celestial Body I)
      • Closest to the suns and shrouded in the rocks of the Azeban Asteroid Belt, Pursan is a tomb world known almost exclusively for its reported 'cries' through the force, and long range communications that have yet to be translated. The world doesn't show up on historic records for the area, and in itself is often regarded as a myth by skeptics, but explorers are fervent of its existence. There have been no dedicated exploration missions to the planet to map its surface, and if there has been there have yet to be any to return.

        The planet, for those who believe in it, is reported to be habitable with a Type II atmosphere. Gravity is notoriously low, though some suggest localized gravitational anomalies that account for an increased amount of crashes on the surface. Others state some form of ancient technology is on the surface in the form of temples or sensor stations, and many more claiming to have orbited the planet have reported witnessing the land move 'like a turtle', though the latter have been regarded as insane by most. 


    • Barbatos (Celestial Body II)
      • The system's seat of power, and major source of both population and resources. Off planet, it is less a place for tourism and more making a life for one's self, though that hasn't changed the fact that much of the planet's reputation for being run by cultists of varying degrees. Speculations on the holonet state everything from murders to entire settlements are covered up to keep the influx of workers inbound for the planet, some even citing census data being falsified to hide the fact so many disappear on the planets surface; though these rumors have been not only dismissed by the planetary government, but often proven wrong. 

        More statistically based however, the planet itself has an orbital period of 381 days and a rotational period of 19.5 hours. Considered pleasing in temperature, many have found a life with its generally standard features and beautiful landscape; most notably a research center dedicated to fringe technology and provide analysis into the many local anomalies. In many aspects, scientists make up a large portion of the population when compared to most of the galaxy.
        • Keres (Celestial Body II.I)
          • The moon around Barbatos, the satellite is considered barren of most minerals besides an excessive amount of surface Anthracite, enticing a number of deep mining operations to scour the surface of the notorious starship fuel. Quality wise, the resource is considered rather pure, amplified by high tech refineries on the surface below.

            Religiously, the moon is thought to be alive; and many of the cults have pushed numerous legislative demands to cease the mining of the moon lest it awaken and attack the planet. These have yet to pass however, as the influx of money to the system is well worth the risk of a planetary attack; especially since no reputable scientist on the planet has yet to find any sign of 'life' from the massive celestial body. 
    • Ipes (Celestial Body III)
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      • Compared to the rest of the system, Ipes is not as notable, though well documented for being split down the middle by some massive force. The surface is barren, no atmosphere to speak of, with nothing but a horrifying large crack exposing its core and mantle, and with it a large amount of common metals found throughout the galaxy. If not for its heavily fluctuating gravitational field and difficult to predict rotations, the planet would provide a grand source for those willing to mine it. 

        Some companies have found luck here however, and landed mining colonies on either surface, taking the safer route than risking ships trudging between to the halves of the planet to pick resources. These send resources back to Barbatos, which are further refined or exported off planet to the rest of the galaxy at large through the Hydian Way. 
    • Krishna (Celestial Body IV)
      • A barren planet with no obvious features, its surface is riddled with craters from various asteroids and comet impacts. The most notable of these is a massive crater known as "The Ardasa Basin" by locals, thought to have been created by the impact of a planetoid millions of years before. Measuring nearly 3,150 km across, the crater could often be considered a natural wonder by the galaxy at large. 

        Mining colonies are present on the surface of Krishna as well, with its largest export being rock ivory and iron; making it a very profitable satellite. However, just as much of the system, reports of 'shadows living within the walls' cause the worker turnover rate to be extremely high; making a secondary economy in psychiatric services on a small station orbiting the planet. 
    • Vuall (Celestial Body V)
      • The largest of celestial bodies 'within' the system is Vuall, a relatively massive black hole mined by automated energy refineries to produce a much of the galaxies subatomic knots, used mainly in gravitational devices. This export is by far the largest and most well established export of the system, and is currently nationalized by the local government of Barbatos for its own export; ensuring some balance from the 'boom bust' cycle notorious of other large exporters of such materials. The black hole itself, and station, is far enough away from the system to almost not be considered apart of it; however as it is the closest thing to receive the materials produced it is generally considered well within the rights of the local government to mandate, and to date has not been contested by many outside sources. 

        Religiously, Vuall is thought by the cults on Barbatos to be the ancient and rotting corpse of the original creator; killed by Belial through trickery and mischief. It is thought that, because of how large the father was, that it would eventually force much of the system to simply rot with it; something substantiated by scientists as the black hole continues to grow every year, though it would still be many more millions of years before it begins to pose a danger to the local planets due to its realistically small size when compared to other cosmic entities such as that of The Maw; this small size, and distance from Barbatos, allow it to exist without interruption of the Hydian Way Hyperlane. 
  • Coordinates: [AL,16] Along the Hydian Way Hyperlane.
  • Major Imports:
    • The system at large imports excessive amounts of labor, more than any other resource. This influx of people helps provide the substantial force utilized in keeping the planet's all consuming economy on a roll, and exports keeping much of the planet's various groups well endowed in monetary forms. With this labor, the planet imports additional large amounts of food, medicine, and other requirements for life, as there is an almost exclusive focus on the industrial sector of the planets; that and its large research economy. 

      Additionally, the planet imports the majority of low cost fabrication products, such as clothes. Luxury items and more recreational items are also imported, though under the table there is a serious spice problem amongst the working class. Few measures have been implemented to maintain this addiction rate, and there are entire slums of people forced to deal with criminal elements to get their fix due to this. 
  • Major Exports:
    • As a whole, the system is well known for its exports of minerals and refined matierals, as that is its largest export. In its entirety, it makes up nearly 60% of the economy, meaning that with its 'boom town'-esque nature, there are few who can directly compare with its exceptional exports besides the more industrial areas of the deep core. It has garnered a strong reputation in the outer rim as an excellent source because of these minerals purity. These minerals include:

GEOGRAPHIC INFORMATION

  • Gravity: Standard
  • Climate:
    • Temperate / Alpine

      Barbatos is notorious for its temperate climate, being realistically comfortable for the majority of the galaxy. This means that no matter the species involved, the planet is home to a wide variety so long as their greed is good enough for it. Months go by of comfortable spring like weather, as the humidity on the planet can be the largest complaint those make of its summer months, though the real danger can appear during winter. 

      Winter on Barbatos is unnaturally cold and hostile, though not to the point of planets like Hoth. More importantly the mixture of high humidity and the cold winds moving down from the various mountains and barren mining fields means much of the planet is absolutely covered in snow for a good portion of the year, or otherwise frigid. Blizzards of varying size are as common as they are deadly in these times, and is one of the greatest causes of death for new comers to the planet; meaning warm clothes are a necessity for the field workers. 
  • Primary Terrain:
    • Beautiful mountains and badland like valleys litter the surface of the planet Barbatos, notorious not only for its weather and mining, but for its exceptional nature as well. Much of the planet is full of hills, mountains, and oceans to offer its inhabitants hundreds of locations to live at. However, despite much of the planet's natural beauty and ever rolling hills, the other half has been turned into a massive cosmopolitan city aptly named 'Barbatos'. 
  • Atmosphere: Type I (Type II when pollution storms arise.)
  • Major Locations: 
    • Barbatos -
      • Established thousands of years prior following the discovery of large amounts of minerals in the region, Barbatos is the capital of the Astarte system and governmental chair holder for the surrounding region. The planet is notorious for excessive prices, with an inflated local economy some blame on corruption and others blame simply on the amount of credits involved; though just as it is infamous for its crime and corruption, so too is it renowned for its high average wage and chance at a good life for those who wish to make a life there. So much so, many younger generations from all areas of the galaxy find a temporary home here to collect savings or otherwise work themselves to make a better life wherever it is they wish to settle.

        It's not unheard of for men and women to leave their families in other parts of the galaxy while they work a ‘tour’ in Barbatos, leaving only after they breach the hundred thousand credit mark in their bank accounts. Due to this, the area contains an excessively high single population, and an even higher crime rate as drugs and more are smuggled onto the planet to allow these overworked individuals some sort of time off. That is not to say however the entertainment districts in the city are underdeveloped.

        In terms of absolute infrastructure, the planet holds on its everything from welfare and wellbeing districts, governmental districts, housing and entertainment districts, and almost anything else a massive city such as this would. Poverty in the city on paper isn’t large, however the many who fall through the cracks into crime and spice are often removed from census data; making it appear to outside sources that the planet is much better off than it is, helping to bring in more workers and personnel to man the many mining facility through the system.

        Although Barbatos is safer than much of the system at large, despite its exceptionally high murder rate, many attribute this to the fact that the local religious folk are progressively more hostile than they were years prior. Dozens of attacks are covered up or otherwise swept under the rug every year as bombings, shootings, and outright kidnappings take place weekly. This has led to a strong sense of ‘community monitoring’ amongst immigrants to the city, as residents often oust each other for being ‘religious nuts’, killing or brutalizing them in the street when they see fit.  
    • Cykranosh
      • Often referred to as ‘Camp Nerf Herder’ by the immigrants to the planet, the area more formally known as ‘Cykranosh’ by locals is by far the largest gathering of natives on the planet. With a population just under a million, it is hardly the rolling metropolis of Barbatos, though it does hold its own distinct culture and style. Shrouded in the hills near the ‘Valley of the Gods’, the environment itself seems enough of a hindrance to those who would consider the population a threat. The entire city is built into massive cliffsides, straddling a large river beneath it that rolls with enough energy to provide the city with power.

        Updating itself with technology was not achieved until just undered a century before, however the locals have used the situation to their advantage. Trading for handmade quality goods for the larger Barbatos, and in turn receiving everything they’d otherwise need, the many inside the traditional society enjoy a comfortable yet conservative society that is otherwise completely isolated to outsiders. Only the most trusted traders and contacts are allowed access into the city, and they carry with them horrific legends as they leave.

        The most infamous of which is the legend that in the waters beneath the city lies a massive creature that chooses to slumber; and has done so for eons. Priests and Priestesses claim that this creature is the next sun, that it only need to grow more to challenge its far larger brothers. Although there has never been any actual evidence of the creature, monthly sacrifices are made to it in the form of children and volunteers willing to sacrifice themselves to feed its slowly engorging form. One trader has even claimed seeing it come close to the surface during noon; noting that it was so large that it could have easily ‘destroyed Barbatos in an afternoon’; though this was later in the man’s career, and he was subsequently put into a sanitarium for mental illness.

        Other legends remark that some priests and priestesses have been the same ones for centuries, that they have aged only a few days since the beginning of contact with the city. Explanations such as ‘Time Dilations’ in local areas, to immortality given to them by their underwater god, are popular; though generally disregarded. The common explanation is that due to inbreeding within the community, it is very often possible that the children of these older societal leaders simply look alike; even going as far to claim the same name and mannerisms to keep up some act for their people.

        Although eccentric, the city seems to mind much of its own business and is generally protected by the Triumvirate in Barbatos; though that doesn’t stop the occasional incursion from drunken criminals fighting with these cult members. The youth amongst Cykranosh have slowly become more radical as a result, and have even been rumored to have made militarized insurrection groups against the migrant population invading their planet. 
    • ​Valley of The Gods (Celephais)
      • Far outside the cosmopolitan metropolis, there lies a series of valleys and rivers that cut deep into the surrounding rock formations. Millions of years of geological evolution is visible by just a glance at the sheer cliff sides; topped by trees and vegetation old as the valley itself. Known as ‘Celephais’ by natives, the area is exceptionally beautiful from the outside; most notably at dawn and dusk when the twin suns cast a watercolor painting over the sky, as shadows play out their dances before their call to slumber as night encroaches.

        This seeming paradise lacks, however. Where some might find surface level beauty and awe inspiring sights, the entire area has been cordoned off by government officials under the guise of it being a nature preserve, something mining companies have been attempting to overturn for decades, if not centuries. It is this seclusion for development that protects not only the region itself, but those who would see to do it harm.

        The real reason the place has been kept restricted to public access is due to numerous temples and ancient cultural sights in the area. Locals regard these as the birthing place for the system at large; claiming it is the literal womb of the mother Barbatos, and that disturbing it would force a response the planet could not resist. An apocalypse on nothing but rumor, though the temples have been disturbed, once upon a time.

        Centuries before the current boom nature of the planet, when immigration had just started and smuggling was just taking off; a number of aspiring criminals looked to raid the temples for their internal wealth. Documents on record can neither prove, or disprove, their existence though there is a common regard of the story being strictly legend.

        Ten men went in, zero came out; with nothing left but the reports of men moving through the trees at night that look vaguely similar to the era’s criminals. Crying, the mimicry of voices of visitors in the treeline, and the constant smell of blood plague the area with horrendous experiences for those who visit. While much of the system is regarded as myth, it is the Valley of the Gods that carries with it the fear of men in its hearts; at least those who have witnessed what Astarte holds.
    • Lomar Station
      • Situated far above Barbatos, a massive civilian station orbits the planet for the many needs of the ground. Its imposing nature is often the first thing visitors witness, with two massive statues on its exterior of men with heavy chains on their back; a nod to the working class that come to Barbatos for this or that. Numerous hangers, dry docks, and fabrication facilities make the station not only a renowned shipyard, but more notably a city all on its own.

        With half a million on board at any given time, the space port contains within trade districts, entertainment districts for the wayward visitor, customs districts, immigration centers, and even housing for those who wish to live off planet. All imports and exports are forced through the station for both clearance and protection of the planet’s ecosystems, but also to often skim and bribe to get the planet’s goods.

        It is here the Triumvirate finds its first source of income, as anyone who pays the tariffs directly lines the three’s pockets with credits, be it righteous or not. These tariffs are not at all legal in a traditional sense, but with the excessive amount of corruption on the planet it isn’t up to anyone but its standing leadership to decide where these funds are put to use; more often than not being used to subjugate the rising crime lord or monopoly forming.
    • ​The Ocean
      • ​Seemingly endless, the ocean’s of Barbatos are heavily unexplored but by the few areas known to be rich in underwater minerals and resources. Thousands of offshore mining rigs are erected as a result, some forming minitare cities in themselves; with much of their connection being pathways between each surfaced platform. However, thousands more find refuge in massive underwater facilities dedicated to the refinement of what is mined, or otherwise research into the local area. 

        Utilizing the currents as an energy source, these almost self sufficient research and mining centers house hundreds of thousands at any given point; however most are contracted on term limits meaning that someone only need to do a cycle underwater to receive their pay. It does well too, as many in these facilities find a serious mental condition arising after only a few months. Many sources have cited the causation of this being seclusion from the surface, however the general consensus blames what lies just beyond visible range, and off sensors.

        Reports speak of black creatures always on the limits of visibility; never closing the distance but forever watching. Rightly so, they’ve been nicknamed ‘Watchers’ and often resemble varying humanoid creatures, though there haven’t been pictures of them taken. However, the superstition surrounding these are strong, and crashed vessels are never recovered at fear they would bring about the wraith of whatever it is that sits on those waters.

        However, as prevalent as the legends are, many simply never see the odd creatures; choosing to work their job, drink their alcohol, and move onto the next job with little to interfere. These rumors are generally kept to the seamen themselves, and rarely make it back to the mainland without some sort of stir.  
    • ​Orobas Mons
      • The mountain known as Orobas is a legendary figure for much of the planet, as it stands the tallest and most well regarded structure on the planet to date. At an almost astronomical 36 km high, the mountain breaches much of the troposphere, and threatens the stratosphere with its few peaking tips. Settling itself in the Volac Mountain Range, itself spanning almost 9,300km, it sits as the throne of the world. Aerial pictures of the mountain have considered as a natural wonder of the planet, though many scientists are convinced its creation is synthetic; sighting the fact that it threatens to breach the planets atmosphere and could not naturally have done so without disturbing the layers of ozone above it. 

        Beneath it however, is the more notorious dwellings one should be wary of. Hundreds of thousands of kilometers of cave networks keep the mountain a mystery to all but the most intrepid of spelunkers and explorers, but its depths are riddled with unknown predators and eldritch terrors. From being followed by shadows, to previous exploration teams still calling out for help with no known source, the mountain is a horrifying example of what can come to those who delve to deep into curiosity itself.

        These ‘defenses’ keep what lies at the core secret, it would seem. Unknown to the majority of the world, the deepest portions of the caves cut deep into the mantle of the planet itself. A place where no sound, no sensors, nothing can truly get to it without knowledge of its entrances and paths. Within lies the now empty laboratory of a Sith Lord eons in the making; her very nature unknown, with only her creations and markings alluding to her presence at all.

        Stony, full of ancient sith alchemic items and documents long past the point of recovery, it is here much of the planet’s legends have found genesis. Thousands lie dead, never to know peace, as experiments were done for the search of immortality; even ‘ascension’ as the sith lord had called it. It is unknown what the eventual fate of the lord was, though notes that have survived the test of time say only that the sacrifice of the mind was necessary; a crude riddle for the would be treasure seeker, but her sanctuary at the bottom of Mount Orobas has yet to be breached, and lies as the heart of a nexus that lashes out on the various lay lines of the planet, harming whatever is in its path.
        • Size: Planet 
          Although it can be felt across the planet, the Orobas Nexus finds a strength in its central mountain; deep in the core. With an extremely unstable force at its core, force related horrors have spread across the planet in many aspects; most notably in both illusions and wraiths, dragging the souls of those who died on the planet to be twisted and reformed into malignant entities hardly recognizable to what they once were before. Those of a light sided affiliation who die on the planet can often retain their traditional appearance, but would be plagued with the screams of a thousand dead before them; giving them little solace. 
        • Intent: To give reason to much of the force based haunts that litter the planet; most notably the ghosts, the fact few souls can find peace, the innumerable disappearances. 

 
POPULATION

  • Native Species: Human
  • Immigrated Species: Highly Varied
  • Population: Heavily Populated (245 Billion Permanent Residents)
  • Demographics: 
    • Due to the mass influx of workers to maintain the factories and innumerable mining facilities, the planet doesn't have the luxury of species segregation nor picking and choosing the groups that come and go. Although specieism is certainly present on the ethnically diverse planet, there is little systematic racism that would keep one group of people down compared to others; though there is a certain preference to humans and human like people, most notably in the upper class and other echelons of Barbatos society.
      • Humans: 39%
      • Mammalian Species: 37%
      • Reptilian Species: 18%
      • Insect Species: 5%
      • Varied: 1%
  • Primary Languages: Galactic Standard Basic
  • Culture: 
    • Overview -
      • Barbatos is a planet shrouded in the rawest aspect of nature; that of survival of the fittest. With an engorged economy where almost all present are paid nearly six figures, and none of the intelligence or class to carry that cash, the planet has fell into a cesspool of fear, paranoia, and crime. Only the upper class, and some middle, are able to escape the mundane cycle of work and hedonism; choosing to stick to the upper areas of the massive metropolis, far outside the reaches of the dreaded religious fanatics stories below.
    • Daily Life -
      • Routines are kept simple on Barbatos; 

        Work for your credits. Spend them at the bar. Get out before something goes wrong.

        For those who live on Barbatos and take it in with little inhibitions, they work in ways that would put much to shame. Weeks of 18 hour days just to have another week to binge off the stress, and do it all over again; something that proves time and time again how simple it is to keep a man happy. This is the most common aspect of people on Barbatos, the simple willingness to abide by the societal routine; spend your credits and don’t ask questions.

        Others find joy in establishing a family in the nicer parts of town, albeit they are slim. On the outskirts of the high end districts, security patrols help maintain just enough order to ensure the proper raising a family if they so wish; despite a macro level of danger, a trait pervasive of Barbatos as a whole. Many choose instead to work and bring what they’ve made home for savings, hoping to one day make it off planet and live a life of freedom with the nest egg they’ve earned.

        For those on the top of the societal echelons, they spend their time performing research of new and demanding technology; most notably of the mining variety, pushing its use to get ahold of deeper and deeper mineral clusters. Others manage their respective business before inevitably retiring to their own home, or the numerous entertainment districts of the city to provide some relief from the drivel of day to day.

        That last however, are the religious. Infamous for their secret nature, little is known about just what those that live in Cykranosh actually do. Some say human sacrifice, others say the care of crops and herds, but nobody is truly certain; not even the local traders who actually speak to them on a daily basis. This mystery has festered in the hearts and minds of many who stay on Barbatos, forming cruel opinions of them off nothing but rumor.
    • Society -
      • The planet of Barbatos carries a culture of work ethic, appreciating the harsh environment capitalism cultivates. When one comes to Barbatos, it is for the exclusive purpose of working, at least most often. Almost 65% of the population is either seasonal, migrant workers, or otherwise serving a corporate ‘term of duty’ with whatever the contractual agreement allows for, while those that live in the system spend most of their free time indulging in the darker side of life. 

        Outside of the worker’s culture, there is a stark contrast in poverty to the planet’s higher ups, with glistening buildings and well kept streets. Its here that most of the CEO’s and Researchers for companies live day to day, letting the paid off security form the backbone of their confidence. Between the high end shops, apartments, and massive towers housing everything from mansions to labratories, there is virtual no lack of luxury to be had.

        Lastly, outside the city sits the religious group known as the “Chorazos”; the outsiders to Barbatos all consuming economy. They trade, they communicate, but their isolationism precedes them as it creates a stark mystery about their very nature. The people are not friendly to outsiders, and few ever make their way into either the city itself, or vice versa.
    • Arts -
      • Although the city specializes in industry and the advancement of the almighty credit, there is some that choose the city to appease the upper class for their art. Of course, there are also those that would dance for the workers, offering closer engagements for credits, though some would arguably declare this anything less than actual art. For those that actually make it, they find a mild profit depending on their fame and resourcefulness, though they pale in comparison to local artisans.

        It is the religious groups that make the ‘best’ art, or at least the most coveted. Few pieces have escaped into mainstream Barbatos society, and any that do are quickly swept into this private collection or that museum, most often closed to public access. Often, the pieces carry with them a fragmentary description, being bald and prosaic with a pervasive undercurrent of persistent strangeness. Alien in nature, there is a certain unearthly beauty that is carried with them, appreciated by only the rich and divine.

        Although heavily sought after, there is little that offers the supposed descriptions any credence, only that they exist and that authentic sources are heavily sought after. This makes counterfeits just as common, though they are generally regarded fake very quickly by dedicated collectors.
    • Sports -
      • Although traditional sports are common on Barbatos as a passtime, such as Gooth Ball, Ubardian Oil Wrestling, Repulsor Skiing, Motosurfing, and even Limmie, sports are relatively ignored on a mainstream level when compared to much else. That is, except blood sports like Dinko Fighting; where Shockboxing was by far the largest grossing sport on the planet. Notable players such as Russ Vane and ‘The Fist’ are practical legends amongst the community; though rumors state there are preplanned fights and dives are common.

        This of course is a result of numerous syndicates getting involved and paying off the contenders to maximize profits and bets. Because of this, Shockboxing on Barbatos is by far the highest grossing, and most watched event; netting just over a hundred billion credits annually in total revenue. This makes it a prime target for other criminals groups, however the amount of collusion has been cut down by larger criminal organizations and the notorious Triumvirate that rules over the planet.
    • Religion -
      • Far larger, far greater, Astarte and Belial were not only the greatest of Vuall’s children but in turn the closest to his own form. Creation had given the two many gifts, and they utilized these to fight Azeban, crushing their oldest brother with great effort. It was only the combined effort of the two that took the grand warrior down, and with his dying words he would instill divine aspiration into Belial.

        Astarte took the words as the annoying prattle of a dead man, and moved onwards to assist Ipes in turning on Krishna. Belial saw this, and behind his brother’s back brought Azeban back to life through creation’s magic. Although reduced to no more than a child, Azeban was grateful and remained in his own corpse to ensure safety.

        Belial moved forward to meet the group as they fought, watching as the cornered Krishna cut their brother Ipes in two before being taken down by Astartes. Tired, the larger of the two sons stood high and grew annoyed with Belial, questioning where he had been during the conflict. Belial plead ignorance to the fight; letting Astarte calm himself before looking over his father.

        Vuall had grown weak, drained from the millennia of war with what he created, and Belial could feel the thoughts the aged god carried. When all was said and done, and Vuall regained his strength, he would take down each of which he created and reabsorb them. It seemed Vuall had learned from his mistake, knowing isolation was better than conflict, yet even still Belial could not stand for this with the gifts he had been given.

        Belial brought his sword down upon his father, killing the crippled general with no emotion. Self preservation brought the murder about, and far too late as Astartes heard the dying cry of his father. Witnessing his final breath, Astarte turned on Belial with all his remaining might and took to the offensive.

        Belial however, had already consumed the life essence of their father, turning his corpse into a rotting husk of what it once was; though the hunger was retained. Moving to match his brother in mortal combat, the two moved through existence in a perpetual dance as they were forced to experience the exact conflict their father had created eons before.

        As the two fought, it was Azeban who rose from his corpse and saw his kingdom for what it was. Rechristening himself as ‘Pursan’, The Divine. With the two greatest warriors now stuck in perpetual combat, he took his time to enjoy his new status as god; turning to create two sons for his own joy. The son never learned from the mistakes of his father, and pushed for the creation of Barbatos and its divine brother; Keres.

        Underestimating the creation in his new body however, Pursan fell quiet and sick, falling back into his primordial corpse. It was here he began to sleep; letting darkness envelope the god once more as he hoped to recover his strength.

        Barbatos and Keres awoke to a strange world, one where nothing seemed to make sense; as they were surrounded by the carnage of war and corpses, leaving them immediately scorned to this new environment. To stave their attention, they turned their attention on the two brothers who fought; letting their moves hold their attention as the dance continued.

        It was Barbatos however, that would look away, creating art on his skin in the form of children. Far smaller than himself, and certainly not a threat; he enjoyed watching the grandest creations walk across his body and find their own places to slumber. This entertained Barbatos, but his attention always seemed to fall back to the sons who fought before.

        As their creation myth comes to an end, the Chorazoans believe that there will be a time where the brothers will absorb one another and war will come once more. They seek salvation through sacrifices to Barbato’s children, and the worship of their many elder gods, hoping that when the inevitable end comes that they will be saved by the leniency of their many gods.

        This apocalyptic belief has in turn been stigmatized by the immigrants to the island, though there are notable few who choose to be indoctrinated into these beliefs. Some claim that the strangeness of the system as a whole gives credence to the religion and its many myths, yet others detest such conspiracies. With no word from the religious isolation centers, it is often up to anyone who might guess what the causation of the mass terror could be related to.

         

GOVERNMENT & ECONOMY

  • Government: Triumvirate
    • The governmental body of Barbatos is one made of a very powerful group of people known simply as ‘The Triumvirate’, a group notorious for keeping the peace on Barbatos in any manner they think is best. Murder, protection rackets, and bet manipulation are all crimes the Triumvirate is guilty of; even still only one of the three members is related to criminal syndicates.

      Starting with Aar Haaz, he is a rodian in charge of the Ardasa Syndicate; most known for its near monopoly on the Shockboxing tournaments. More notably however, they deal with underground security and the otherwise dedicated response to rising issues with the various families and criminal groups that inhabit Barbatos, letting no stone go unturned should something threaten the peace.

      Aar has been known to force peace between cartels when they grow to the level that might adversely impact the economy, or the planet’s already low stability. These constant turf wars are often settled with the Rodian as the mediator, with no individual party being brave enough to stand up to him nor his many forces. Doing so would likely end in suicide to all but the larger companies.

      The other two Triumvirate members as it stands is Aria Sendai, the founder and CEO of Astartes Mining Corporation, and a man known simply as ‘Human’. The former is one of the wealthiest on the planet, owning much of the resource rights to the planets in the system and outsourcing said mining operations to various other companies while still managing all exports through the Lomar Station; something they own in its entirety. Most taxes are ran through Aria, who in turn takes a cut before putting the rest to the Triumvirates collective bank accounts.

      It is Aria who all businesses must go through to get business licenses on the planet, meaning that all large economic choices must be preapproved by the heavily restricted economic system. That is to say, only large corporations that can prove threats to the standing order are under the constant prying eye of the Astartes Mining Corporation; while others can go under the radar with little concener.

      The last however, known simply as ‘Human’ is a man that hides his face, and is heavily unknown through the grapevine; though his reputation is well feared. No known companies are under his pseudonym, and crime syndicates working for him only mention that he paid for their actions, meaning that there is almost no trail to him. His greatest power is his ability to attain information, some even referring to him as ‘The Broker’ for the omniscience of his information network; often selling to the highest bidder.

      Although unknown in all general capacities, ‘Human’ along with his peers can be found through the capital building of Barbatos; a massive tower with the full force of syndicates, mercenaries, and the standing army to defend it. High priority people are allowed access to the building, and some even rumor that it is entirely self sufficient if the rest of the city were to fall; though these are unsubstantiated.
  • Affiliation: N/A
  • Wealth: High
    • ​Due to the major focus on exporting much of the galaxies needed resources, Barbatos and the system as a whole has found serious profit. This doesn't mean however that products are priced well off, as the serious need for workers and high paying jobs found on the planet means all products in turn have inflated in price. Rent can be hundreds of credits a day, food is double or even triple what it might be on other planets, and overall the planet is extremely expensive; though those that live there are notoriously rich from their jobs. 

      This wealth transfers to all forms of society, as the upper governmental body is notoriously made up of many businessmen and renowned figures. Corruption is heavily prevalent, as any who aren't direct business owners on the planet but still wish to be 'rich' find their freedom in crime, something that is extremely difficult to keep up with, since the population is almost seasonal and rotating depending on the economic cycle. 

       
  • Stability: Low-Medium
    • Due to the excessive amount of immigrants, temporary workers, and criminal elements within the planet at large; there is a dangerously low amount of stability to rely on. Although it is not unheard of to hear of families being raised on Barbatos due to the pay one might receive from a mid level management position, it is not unheard of to compare Barbatos to planets like Nar Shaddaa in terms of outright crime and criminal elements. However, it is not to the degree of the Smuggler's Moon or Coruscant's undercity, it is dangerously close to being entirely run by syndicates. These outside elements have created a dangerous environment for the general working populace, and their drug smuggling has created a pandemic few in the government wish to deal with.

      In addition, the native population that lives outside of the city, and occasionally inside, is progressively perturbed at the industrialization of their home planet. These groups believe that it is a threat to not only their way of life, but to the very planet they live on. As it stands, their religion worships the celestial bodies as a family, and the excessive mining that has been taking place for untold eons has begun to stir them. These religious groups often protest and riot, however fanatics are reported to murder and enact terrorist attacks on the migrant workers. This in turn has created a severe divide in migrants and local populations, well outside the usual drivel of spice and crime.

       
  • Freedom & Oppression: 
    • Governmental wise, the Triumvirate that runs the city does little to truly subside the concerns of its populace, choosing instead to rely on the local businesses and syndicates to bring order where needed to protect their own assets. Although a federal military is present, it is under the control of the highest bidder more often than not; meaning that anyone with the money to pay for it can have criminal charges pushed on whoever they wish with the planetary military to back them. This leads to flaring tension, but something both the workers and rich have come to regard as 'status quo', as its something many take advantage of when able. 

      The one saving grace of the planet and its people is the fact that there is an exceptional amount of social and political freedom, so long as it doesn't directly effect the standing power players. That is to say, so long as you don't step on toes, you will never have to see the face of a military police member; and could very well live your life in comfort working your job. Freedom to come, to go, there is almost nothing you can't do if you wish on Barbatos, making it many criminal elements dreams, and even more for the rising man of the household looking for the perfect chance at moving up in the world.

      With so little against the rules, general laws do apply about murder and the like. However, despite a standard set of laws in order, they are more 'suggestions' than anything else. While the military will get involved when needed, and the few justice minded officers in its corps look to curb the growing problems the planet faces, there are many more who are willing to be bought off. This creates a crippling fear of both the military and its Triumvirate leadership, though keeping ones nose clean is the easiest way to avoid their prying eye. 

MILITARY & TECHNOLOGY

  • Military: 
    • ​Due to the riches on the planet's surface, the planet itself has a notable planetary navy and fleet consisting of about 100 km total. Army wise, it has enough to keep billions of people in line despite the chaos that threatens to reign on the planet; though its major downfall is its management. While many of its officers have years of experience as military men throughout innumerable conflicts in the galaxy, most are easily bought off for the sake of money rather than straight loyalty. While the highest bidder might be where their loyalty lies, the current Triumvirate has enough in the banks to maintain plenty of cushion against the military should it need.

      In addition to a decent military force, the planet has billions of well armed criminals looking to maintain their comfort and freedom. Although defending the planet isn't their real goal, many have such a dedication to their way of life that they'd be willing to die should anyone really threaten that. This applies to both the ruling party and any other external source; making a dangerous population should it ever rise up in full force.
  • Technology: 
    • To get to much of the ores and minerals within the system, the planets have imported millions of scientists to help maintain their superiority in refinement, processing, and otherwise dedicated collection of resources. Although this was the original purpose, and its mining equipment is sought after by much of the galaxy, the excessive amount of scientists has led to many more offering research grants either privately or through the govermental body to research other aspects in varying categories.

      This means that compared to much of the galaxy, the planet itself has a higher technology base; though most of this is exported to other areas where it might serve better. Some stays in innumerable forms, and the pocket of high grade scientists has helped create an influx of large entities looking to hire these various groups to research this or that; creating a strong location of outsourcing outside more notable scientific locations such as the Deep Core.

 

HISTORICAL INFORMATION


Much of the history of the Astartes system is unknown, and as such there is little to go on before the year 4989 BBY, where the first explorers came across the system. A ragtag group of imperials from the Old Sith Empire, led by a woman known simply as Darth Niona, managed to find the station while searching for a home outside of the crumbling infrastructure of the dying empire they once knew. It was here that they discovered Barbatos, and the first of its many strange occurances.

 

While moving along the Hydian Way through hyperspace, numerous alarms began to sound as the many aboard were awakened to a blood bath. A seeming swarm of beings akin to starweirds had manifested within their vessel, their intangible cries echoing through the void of the ships interior as hundreds were killed in only a few minutes. Emergency crews moved to save what they could, but losses were stacking quickly.

 

As their course slowly diverted from the traditional path of the Hydian Way into unknown space, they were ripped from hyperspace as black hole sized mass shadow tore them from speed, propelled solely by the propulsion they maintained from the jump they’d made a few days before. With alarms going off, and the ships internal systems quickly damaged by the intense power of the starweirds, options were running thin.

 

Darth Niona, in her great wisdom, strapped a strong force artifact to her apprentice, letting him draw much of their attention before jettisoning the young boy from the vessel; ensuring a premature hyperspace drop long before their target location. Although it saved the vessel from immediate danger, new found issues arose as the Harrower-Class Dreadnaught slowed into the unknown system.

 

Initial scans were hard to come by, as there was a natural electronic smokescreen present in the dense nebulae of the system but did show that minerals were extremely rich in much of the asteroid field near the twin stars; something that intrigued Niona more than anything else. With the loss of her apprentice quickly overcome, the Sith Lord commanded her ship to the single planet near its core; known as Barbatos.

 

Soon in orbit, Darth Niona felt on the planet what had developed through unknown means many millennia before; and something she could not help but see potential in. Declaring it the next colony of the Sith Empire, work quickly began to bring infrastructure to the forlorn planet. It was during these initial attempts to found the city of Barbatos that the sith met the natives; those that referred to themselves as the worshippers of Vuall.

 

The Sith Lord, following her appointment as governor of the system, took a heated interest in the local religion of these groups; turning her curiosity into science as further and further studies brought about a new alchemic concoctions and spells. What Niona seen in these people was the answer to mortality itself, in the form of their gods and creation; more notably in the way their priests stayed alive for so long.

 

Her curiosity would reap fruit as she too would slow in age, splitting her attention between the massive infrastructure projects of the Lomar Station and hundreds of mining ships to provide resources for the growing Sith Fleets; making her extremely rich in the process. It was here much of the foundation was laid for the inevitable billions who would live on Barbatos, though it was still relatively minor in history besides its strategic value.

 

As history distorts through the word of mouth rendition of reality, the story of Niona fell from the colonization of a mining superpower, to the active search of immortality. Legend speaks that over the course of nearly a thousand years; Darth Niona had began to perfect the art of immortality through the  time dilations formed near the religious cities. Although the source hadn’t been publicly known, there was the belief that whatever lived in the rivers below the city truly did lengthen the life through these seemingly random orbs of oddity. With age however, the would be Sith Lord's mind began to falter in the face of eternity; a broken psyche proving no match for the Eternal Empire as it made its way towards the planet.

 

As the Eternal Empire began to surge forth through the galaxy, Barbatos was no different than many others. With a few billions living planetside, a star fortress was constructed in its orbit and the once governmental leader moved the entirety of her research deep underground Mount Orobas, where the sith had identified the planet’s genesis seemed to come from. Now resided to the life of a hermit, the sith lord fell deeper into obscurity as her research was disbanded and her life was forfeit to the annals of history.

 

Not much is known of her fate, though supposed signs around the cave seem to say she perfected eternal life; through her lack of presence within and no proof of departing make for a hard statement to be made. Many of the notes left are unintelligible, broken thoughts and inane ramblings of a person who lost their mind; making almost none of them useful. However, the notes still offer the key to eternal life, if you’re to believe the myth, that only the sacrifice of mind, body, and soul to 'He Who Sleeps' will achieve such, a necessary evil for eternity it would seem.

 

Much of the history past this point seems to be lost, as after the Eternal Alliance destroyed the Starfortress in orbit about Barbatos, the economy went through the first real boom it had. The population surged, where billions settled the planet in a matter of centuries; forcing infrastructure and construction companies to keep up. Additions were built onto the Lomar Station, and for a long time, things were going well for the planet.

 

However, as growth continued, tensions rose with those religious on the island, claiming that the large presence of people was disturbing the gods; that it would bring punishment down. Many disregarded these rumors, but the many mining colonies that had formed began to report more and more instances of dementia, paranoia, and eventually very serious diseases like schizophrenia. Although mining was the tradition for the sector, psychiatrics soon came into play as a leading medical field; even if most blamed it on the high stress industrial environment.

 

Centuries would pass as galactic events played out, from the various remnant forces of the Confederacy of Independent Systems finding refuge deep in the metropolis, to the Empire holding down what authority it could in the distant region. Yuuzhan Vong had moved past the planet for unknown reasons, sparing its population the fate of death.

 

It was only until the Gulag plague that the planet was forced to pull back from its extroverted trade; as mass riots formed and brought its governmental body to its knees. As the galaxy went dark in the aftermath of Zero’s attack, so too would Barbatos and its people. Sometime in the dark era of history, a new government body would form and bring about the next golden age for the tingel arm residents; that of the Triumvirate, led by none other than a man known simply as ‘Human’.

 

Many assume the mantle has been passed down generation by generation, however the seeming immortality of the Triumvirate leader ensures fear of the government in all aspects; helping to pull the mining system up by its bootstraps and enacting reforms that brought its goods to the galaxy at large. Now, in the coming age of a galaxy at conflict, prices go up and everyone looks to make a profit.

 

Its the people of Barbatos that are hardy enough for such a war, with hands filled with repulse hammers and another waiting for a paycheck.


Edited by The Slave, 14 July 2018 - 01:20 PM.

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#2
Zark

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The Slave

 

Under Review.


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#3
Zark

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The Slave

 

Spooky planet, cool. In terms of world building and detail here, I think this submission is looking pretty good. But alas, there are a few points we have to address.

 

Let's start with Mount Orobras. Two things, the first being its size. I get the idea, unnaturally huge mountains that poke out into space a bit, and I'm inclined to rule of cool that despite not knowing if its actually plausible. I'm really only taking issue with your sense of scale here. I recognize this planet is larger than Earth, but by comparison Mount Everest is less than 9 kilometers tall and the average height of Earth's atmosphere is 12 kilometers, maxing out at 17. A mountain that is 36,000 kilometers tall seems...excessive, even for what you're trying to accomplish.

 

Second, it seems you have included a Force Nexus here to explain some of the more supernatural aspects at play in this submission. While less common than they used to be, per codex rules Force Nexuses (Nexii?) still require a development thread to be stamped for planet submissions. You would expected to complete a thread with no set post limit, however a complete story must be told, and since this is a planetary scale nexus you should know that additional effort and balancing for fair play above and beyond what is usually expected may be required.

 

That leads us in to my last concern, which is some of the effects of this nexus. Primarily, the time dilation fields. I get the concept, I've seen The Endless, I can dig it. My only concern is the stuff about life extension. Specifically, you mention the Sith who discovered this planet achieving immortality. She also seems to have gone insane, so if that is part of the package you should specify and maybe my dark masters will find that to be an appropriate compromise. But I think you may run into some issues here as far as getting that bit stamped as is.

 

I like the way you have provided plausible mundane explanations for a lot of the more out there stuff you have going on in this submission, and overall you've done a good job of balancing mystery with exposition, but there are a few borderline examples like these fields that I picked up on, and I feel I should remind you that while positing dubious mysticism is all well and good, if some of these more cosmic scale events were to ever occur during RP and get reported, this submission could be flagged for re-review.


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#4
Darth Maliphant

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Sure, I'll answer what I can here and start work where I can't.

 

Let's start with Mount Orobras. Two things, the first being its size. I get the idea, unnaturally huge mountains that poke out into space a bit, and I'm inclined to rule of cool that despite not knowing if its actually plausible. I'm really only taking issue with your sense of scale here. I recognize this planet is larger than Earth, but by comparison Mount Everest is less than 9 kilometers tall and the average height of Earth's atmosphere is 12 kilometers, maxing out at 17. A mountain that is 36,000 kilometers tall seems...excessive, even for what you're trying to accomplish.

 

So, in regards to this. While its certainly true I'm going for a 'big bad wonder' here, its certainly not 36,000 kilometers, unless you meant 36,000 meters. Heres my rationale; 

 

Mount Orobras is actually based on Olympus Mons; a volcano on Mars that is 16 miles (24 kilometers) high, on a planet that has 10 times as much mass as Earth. To bring this massive mountain to the world of star wars under the cool factor, and sizing Barbatos up with Earth, I made Orobras 36km, just 33% larger than the real incarnation of Olympus Mons. Its not a huge deal if you still want me to change it, but I just thought I'd give the rationale to that. I'll also be changing its name to Orobas Mons as of this response, because I realized that it sounds cooler. 

 

Is that alright to stay?

 

Second, it seems you have included a Force Nexus here to explain some of the more supernatural aspects at play in this submission. While less common than they used to be, per codex rules Force Nexuses (Nexii?) still require a development thread to be stamped for planet submissions. You would expected to complete a thread with no set post limit, however a complete story must be told, and since this is a planetary scale nexus you should know that additional effort and balancing for fair play above and beyond what is usually expected may be required.

 

I'll get to work on this ASAP, and let you know where the link is as soon as possible while we work through the other issues with the submission.

 

That leads us in to my last concern, which is some of the effects of this nexus. Primarily, the time dilation fields. I get the concept, I've seen The Endless, I can dig it. My only concern is the stuff about life extension. Specifically, you mention the Sith who discovered this planet achieving immortality. She also seems to have gone insane, so if that is part of the package you should specify and maybe my dark masters will find that to be an appropriate compromise. But I think you may run into some issues here as far as getting that bit stamped as is.

 

The Sith in question's 'Immortality' is purposefully vague and unknown, as their records don't even prove they did achieve it so much as they claimed to have. Their subsequent dissapearence makes for a spooky lair rather than something viable for them to deal in; so it isn't expressively for the purpose of people just getting ahold of it so much as a mcguffin for eventual plots people might want. That all being said, I'll work that in the best way I can in the hopes it will appease the gods. 

 

I like the way you have provided plausible mundane explanations for a lot of the more out there stuff you have going on in this submission, and overall you've done a good job of balancing mystery with exposition, but there are a few borderline examples like these fields that I picked up on, and I feel I should remind you that while positing dubious mysticism is all well and good, if some of these more cosmic scale events were to ever occur during RP and get reported, this submission could be flagged for re-review.

 

Certainly a concern, as to why most of it is still within the realm of 'Ya, I doubt it.' If nothing else, I realize its a danger with the territory of copying mythos in any capacity. 


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#5
Zark

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The Slave

Welp, that's on me for reviewing first thing in the morning. 36km sounds way more reasonable, and you even cited your sources so that is all good with me.

Definitely shoot me a tag when the dev thread is up, depending on how long it takes we may need to do an inactivity archive but you can just get it moved back when the dev thread is ready.

And it is exactly that type of uncertainty which can be a double edged sword, from the way it's history reads it seemed to me like she definitely unlocked the secrets (on mobile so I can't provide quotes). If that gets changed to something more ambiguous like the rest I will stamp that part with the same caveat.

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#6
Zark

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The Slave

 

Aha! I figured out what threw me off before.

 

 

 

    • Settling itself in the Volac Mountain Range, itself spanning almost 9,300km, it sits as the throne of the world.

 

 

I believe that is an error, and supposed to read 9,300 m or 9.3km.

 

And this is the bit I referenced in my last post that threw up the red flag.

 

 

 

Over the course of nearly a thousand years; Darth Niona had began to perfect the art of immortality through the  time dilations formed near the religious cities.

 

Unlike the rest of the submission, that seems to starkly indicate that there is definitely some powerful otherworldly juju at play. Tweak that part so the fountain of youth aspect is less definite, or give me more on some horrific side effects.


Edited by Zark, 08 July 2018 - 11:05 PM.

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#7
Darth Maliphant

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Unlike the rest of the submission, that seems to starkly indicate that there is definitely some powerful otherworldly juju at play.

 

I did add in that she lost her mind as a result; is that alright? 

 

With age however, the would be Sith Lord's mind began to falter in the face of eternity; a broken psyche proving no match for the Eternal Empire as it made its way towards the planet.

 

Not much is known of her fate, though signs around the cave seem to say she perfected eternal life; through her lack of presence within and no proof of departing make for a hard statement to be made. Many of the notes left are unintelligible, broken thoughts and inane ramblings of a person who lost their mind; making almost none of them useful. However, the notes still offer the key to eternal life, if you’re to believe the myth, that only the sacrifice of mind, body, and soul to 'He Who Sleeps' will achieve such, a necessary evil for eternity it would seem.

 

I could try and think of a way to be more direct, if you'd like. I just didn't want to make it obvious enough that people would actually try and utilize it, it was mostly for spook factor.  


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#8
Zark

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The Slave

 

Yeah I believe I understand what you're going for, I'm just trying to help you make sure it doesn't unintentionally throw everything's balance out of whack.

 

If you will allow me to slip off my CJ cap to engage in some writerly feedback, I think phrasing that initial line more like a popular legend would accomplish the spook factor you're after without drawing any RPJ glares at your nexus.


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#9
Darth Maliphant

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I took your advice, and rewrote parts of it. How does that sound?


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#10
Zark

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That looks good to me. Thank you for being willing to work with me on these points. With those details taken care of, all that is needed now is a completed dev thread before I pass this along.


Edited by Zark, 09 July 2018 - 12:47 AM.

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#11
Darth Maliphant

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Its not the best story I've ever written, but I think its alright. How does this sound?

 

Zark


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#12
Zark

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The Slave

 

Apologies for the delay here, wanted to find enough time to sit down and give this a detailed read.

 

You've been very accommodating, I believe this is ready for the next step.

 

Pending Secondary Review

 

Allyson Locke | Zeradias Mant | Irajah Ven


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#13
Irajah Ven

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Under review

 

Normally I just put my initial thoughts but I'm going to mark here 'Under review' so you know it's being looked at. There's a lot here so I'm going to take my time with this.


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#14
Irajah Ven

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The Slave

 

To start with, I'm going to need you to remove the Ionite. RMs are not currently permitted on new Chaos Canon planets. 

 

 

 

7. Restricted Materials are no longer allowed to be added as a resource/export for new custom planets except in the case of a Staff sanctioned challenge/contest reward or with explicit permission from Staff.

 

About Pursan- can you confirm in the sub if it does exist? Normally we deal in objective truths, rather than subjective in these subs. I don't want you to change any of the rumor language (I think that's part of the charm of this sub), but just confirm at the end that it does (or does not, either way) exist for folks who may want to go exploring for it in the future. Since it's celestial body level, rather than the 'maybe creature from the deep level', we gotta know.

 

I'd like to also talk about this:

 

Coordinates: [AL,16] Along the Hydian Way Hyperlane.

 

This is *not* a problem, but a point of issue- you have a black hole very near to this system, which is cool. However, the whole point of the Hydian way is that hyperspace travel along it is easier with fewer risks associated compared to traveling hyperspace in general. A black hole would seriously impact that spot along this canon hyperspace lane. Can we add in some explanation as to why it will *not* effect the Hydian way, either due to it's size (relatively small for a black hole perhaps), or it's location not interfering or *something* of that nature? I'd like you to be able to keep that location, but I need it to be explicit that it does not interfere with travel on the canon hyperlane. 


Edited by Irajah Ven, 14 July 2018 - 10:43 AM.

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#15
Darth Maliphant

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To start with, I'm going to need you to remove the Ionite. RMs are not currently permitted on new Chaos Canon planets.

 

Removed, wasn't aware planets were no longer allowed an RM at all. Apologies!

 

About Pursan- can you confirm in the sub if it does exist? Normally we deal in objective truths, rather than subjective in these subs. I don't want you to change any of the rumor language (I think that's part of the charm of this sub), but just confirm at the end that it does (or does not, either way) exist for folks who may want to go exploring for it in the future. Since it's celestial body level, rather than the 'maybe creature from the deep level', we gotta know.

 

Yes, although extremely difficult to get to, the planet it meant to exist with some hints at what might be there. I've added onto the end of its body, a small spoiler.  

 

This is *not* a problem, but a point of issue- you have a black hole very near to this system, which is cool. However, the whole point of the Hydian way is that hyperspace travel along it is easier with fewer risks associated compared to traveling hyperspace in general. A black hole would seriously impact that spot along this canon hyperspace lane. Can we add in some explanation as to why it will *not* effect the Hydian way, either due to it's size (relatively small for a black hole perhaps), or it's location not interfering or *something* of that nature? I'd like you to be able to keep that location, but I need it to be explicit that it does not interfere with travel on the canon hyperlane.

 

I added in both that its distance from Barbatos, and its relatively small size for a black hole, make it a non threat to those travelling down the Hydian Way. Is that alright?

 

 Irajah Ven


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#16
Irajah Ven

Irajah Ven

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The Slave

 

Yup that's all fine, thank you. 

 

Only one more thing I want to clarify here. 

 

The nexus reads mostly as a macguffin, which is totally fine. I just want to make sure that's indeed what you intend for it, i.e. it doesn't convey powers or abilities on individuals who use it or are near it. Is that accurate? It's just a strong dark side presence and plot point to explain the spoop?


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#17
Darth Maliphant

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Irajah Ven

 

It doesn't give anything crazy or otherwise special to anyone on the planet, besides the conventional details of a nexus. It is meant to give rationale to the spoops, yes. 


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#18
Irajah Ven

Irajah Ven

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The Slave

 

Basically strong dark side, maximum spoop. 

 

I'm going to stamp my approval on this, and abandon hope all ye who enter here. 


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