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Claydoish

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#1
Ailred Vruumond

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OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

  • Intent: Provide a new species for exploration of itself and in the Chaos Galaxy
  • ​Image Credit: Amphibian Concept by GCRev
  • Canon: N/A
  • Links: N/A

 

GENERAL INFORMATION

  • Name: Claydoish
  • Designation: Sentient
  • Homeworld: Little Capella
  • Language: Corgusk (Dead/Ancient), Basic
  • Average Lifespan: 200-300
  • Estimated Population: Planetary
  • Description: Their appearance seems to be both aquatic and hardy, meaning they seem to enjoy water and frequently live in it, yet they stay on the ground more commonly. They have smooth skin, but not shiny, only smooth in the way there isn't any bumps or grooves. Their skin is hard, almost like a leather, which is roughly textured, allowing them to travel the rough terrain of dry dirt or boulders. On rare occasions, they can be seen having fins, but they aren't always pronounced. They stay sunken in the skin and extend with cartilage, able to be controlled like eyebrows (but similarly, not as extreme like hands), although it has been seen to erect when they are frightened, or when they try to create an intimidating stance. It can't be controlled skillfully, seemingly a left over ability from when they were completely aquatic. Their most peculiar features may be their eyes and their 'mouth'; Their eyes a greyish-blue, looking murky, but also glowing, but where a humans iris shows its color, the Claydoish's entire eye glows and looks like a moving sea; swirling, or moving like stars in space. Their mouths behave like any other humanoid, but they have a special feature. Their entire mouth actually reaches down towards their sternum. More than likely a call-back genetic ability, like their fins, from when they were a less sentient species, but it is still useful. They no longer live in the water, and more evolved on land, but the enlarged mouth was so large and open so that they could catch and filter plankton, but also give them the efficiency to latch onto larger prey. Their large, fang-like teeth used to pierce smaller aquatic creatures. These fangs seemed to have once been used like snake fangs, where there are genetic remnants of venom-sacs, but the genes have degraded or have been lost to evolution since.

 

PHYSICAL INFORMATION

  • Breathes: Type I, and II. II preferred to filter air and consume pathogens
  • Average height of adults: 1.98m
  • Average length of adults: N/A
  • Skin color: Varies between green, red, brown, and blue. Entirely more pale colors on their torso
  • Hair color: N/A
  • Distinctions: Claydoish are genderless and reproduce asexually, but their major differences from humans are their larger mouth structures, fangs, oral secretions (used for pre-digesting food, does not spray), retractable fins, special eyes, height, coloration, skin texture, and bone structure
  • Races: As per their different skin colorations, it typically means they were birthed from a different group of Claydoish, which originally developed on different parts of the planet during their infancy
  • Strengths: Hardy Skin, Breathable I and II Atmospheres, Increased Senses, Heat Resistant, Increased Strength, Increased Reflexes, Adaptive (Environment/Culture), Long Life
  • Weaknesses: Absolutely No Eyesight, Rarely Force Sensitive, Weak Force Sensitivity When Force Sensitive, Extremely Slow Metabolism & Digestion, Cold Blooded/Vulnerable to Cold (Requires Environmental Suits with temperatures below 40 Celsius), Eyes Sensitive to Bright Lights (Causes pain and headaches, possible stun effects/Photosensitive Epilepsy with sudden bursts of light, even individually/single), Vulnerable to Radiation (Minimum harmless amounts to Humans are three times as effective against Claydoish, due to no resistances; Radioresistance), Coagulopathy (Haemophilia A)

 

CULTURE

  • Diet: Can typically eat any creatures raw, cooked creatures play havoc with their digestion (slower to digest cooked foods), are sensitive to many poisons similar to humans, but are equally adaptable to creating resistances individually
  • Communication: Speech, Sign Language (Archaic)
  • Technology Level: Infantile Early Space Age - A tribal civilization before the Great Sith War, they have since speedily advanced themselves
  • Religion/Beliefs: Due to the enslavement of their race by the Sith, they had became a broken species, and a lot of their history and written language was lost as the Sith slowly assimilated them. The Claydoish ultimately rejected the Siths teachings, having a strong will, but the treatment made them lose their own
  • General behavior: Claydoish are typically a very curious species. When the Sith first arrived to their planet, they welcomed the visitors, until they were turned into slaves. Since, they have become very isolationist and reserved, keeping to themselves. For the last five-thousand years, they have kept to themselves in secrecy and avoided all contact. To outsiders, they seemed little more than non-sentient or semi-sentient creatures, but their hostility when approached proved in making the rare encounters become less and less. Claydoish both show concern and disconcern to offspring; when in infancy, they protect their clutches with their dying breath, and other Claydoish typically seek to preserve the clutches life and even unrelated Claydoish wish to protect their own, but after they hatch, Claydoish grow without nurture from their parents. While Claydoish do reproduce asexually, they take on individual personalities, and even seek partnership at times. Although genderless, they have been known to show differentiating features to that of gendered structures, but it is more survivalist and instinctual forms of adaptation. A weaker or more feminine form, requesting the assistance of a stronger or more masculine form. Before the Great Sith War, and long after, they kept their compassion and curiosity, especially for other creatures. While developing a strong government structure, they have mostly become neutral, but care for other species who show them the same compassion, and have even been known to care for other species as if they were their own clutch.

 

HISTORICAL INFORMATION
Claydoish were once like any other species, mostly spawning from small pools of water through evolution. Although they didn't keep life in the water, they grew accustomed to it. Deep within Little Capella, Claydoish both lived in the water and on land, but they grew more towards land, yet keeping aquatic qualities. Deep within Little Capella, being closer to its core, it was very hot, which made Claydoish both like it, and sometimes, seek cooler waters. Living underground was where they found their safe homes, which showed more to their developed state. Underground, there was less food, aside from cave inhabitants, which is why their aquatic genetics still stuck with them. Also living underground, Claydoish had to be vigilant to environment changes, like cave ins or earthquakes, which benefited to their strength. Claydoish were a slow to develop species, but were faster at adapting to their environment. They had to learn quickly how to survive, as the galaxy around them grew, and the minerals within their planet interested others, inviting mining companies to destabilize small locations of their planet. At this time, they weren't sentient enough to realize what was going on, or to communicate, but as time passed, and the sounds grew louder and the different species landing on their planet, so too did their curiosities grow. Some organizations left after realizing an intelligent species existed, some took more care to mine around them, and some didn't care. This showed the Claydoish that not all life was the same. Not all had to survive, yet not all lived for each other. Claydoish soon developed patterns of understanding and speech to communicate and learn from their visitors, which made them venture from their safe caves underground.
 
Unfortunately, things changed when the Great Sith Wars loomed up above. The Claydoish were captured and examined, becoming slaves or used for sithspawn experiments. Their strength, unique genetic abilities, and capability in darkness showed to be a strong asset for laborers and combat experiments. The strong hold of the Sith only lasted for a year, as the governance of the Sith changed hands, and so too did the eye on the Claydoish slowly turn away. By 3950 BBY, the Sith had abandoned the Claydoish, being recalled to the wars, which the Claydoish used to retreat deeper into their home, deeper into the darkness. They hid away, deep within the hotter core, and slowly moving back to their original homes, for almost 5,000 years. Only within half of that time, had they started sending scouts to reclaim what the Sith and other organizations had abandoned - their technology. Through the left technology and the forced assimilation, the Claydoish were quickly advanced in their own technology levels, and understandings of science and language.


Edited by Ailred Vruumond, 06 August 2018 - 03:22 PM.


#2
Taeli Raaf

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Under review



#3
Taeli Raaf

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Ailred Vruumond

 

So there are several things are going to be need to be addressed:

  • Breathes: Type I, II, and III. II preferred to filter air and consume pathogens
    this should be both in strengths and I need explanation for how they are able to breathe three different types of atmospheres
  • reproduce asexually,
     

    Mixing races causes the colorations to blend
    this contradicts as if they reproduce asexually, they would not be obtaining traits from another race/clan, only from the organism that birthed them. Please fix this to no longer contradict 
  • Strengths and weaknesses do not currently balance out. As it stands we are balancing expert swimmers, armored skin, heightened senses, heat and venom resistances, enhanced strength, enhanced speed, enhanced learning rate and intelligence, longevity, and fast reproduction against no eyesight, weak to no Force Sensitivity, a slow metabolism, cold sensitivity, eyes are sensitive to bright lights. That is currently 10 strengths versus 5 weaknesses. I'm going to need you to drop some of these strengths and add in one or two more weaknesses that might have an effect in a PvP or PvE RP experience.
  • are sensitive to many poisons similar to humans, but are equally adaptable to creating resistances individually
    please explain what you mean here. If they are able to adapt to poisons in their systems and resist them, that would be another strength as venoms and poisons are two very different things
  • How exactly have they not been able to replace or build a new culture since their enslavement by the Sith? We almost 5,000 years past the Great Sith Wars, which would be plenty of time to develop new religious beliefs and culture.
  • strong hold of the Sith only lasted for a year, as the governance of the Sith changed hands, and so too did the eye on the Claydoish slowly turn away. By 3950 BBY, the Sith had abandoned the Claydoish, being recalled to the wars
    These two parts contradict each other as one implies the Sith were on planet for a year, and the other implies they were there for fifty considering the Great Sith Wars started around 4,000-3,998 BBY


#4
Ailred Vruumond

Ailred Vruumond
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Taeli Raaf

 

 

Hey there! Thanks for getting to this, I see I have contradicted myself in a few places!

 

  1. Well they all have the same amount of proper breathable junk, 2 and 3 just have more stuff mixed in. From the Wookieepedia article it sounded like 3 could be a few different things. For me, I'm including 3 where there is toxicity in the air, nott a lack of an atmosphere. I wanted to base them on something similar to trees, where they take polluted air and clean in. Of course, I can do something like partial breathable in Type III, how does that sound?

  2. Yeah, I'll remove that, my mind was still in the typical Male x Female reproduction. They are Asexual and they don't blend

  3. Very Fast I need to replace with Quickened Reflexes. Armored Skin is only enough to withstand typical bladed weapons, its purpose is so they don't cut their feet or other body parts on jagged rocks. Heightened Senses... I don't want to sound like it's double their senses. Maybe Increased sounds better? They are absolutely blind, so it made sense for them to hear, smell and feel in an increased manner. Let me explain Reproduction; Their "fast" reproduction is because they lay clusters of eggs. So the eggs do not hatch quickly, but when they hatch, there's about twelve in a cluster. I didn't intend for these to sound extremely powerful, I was just trying to do some reasonable things for survival and instinct. Please get back to me on this, and if your statement doesn't change just let me know. I'd like to work on this but I'm not the best at other species. Also, increased learning.... I think I did hint at some adaptation to their environments to survive but I don't remember where I put it. Where did you get the impression they learned very fast so I can edit it?

  4. Mithridatism

  5. Reclusivity, timidity, untrustful of the outside. They split their civilization up into multiple tribes, restricting birthing practices so they wouldn't be found out. Claydoish live a very long time. Leadership and opinions take a long time to die out before they change their minds.

  6. g4oSP9q.png The Sith Organizations changed over time, different structures and commanders, their hold on the enslavement weakened as they focused elsewhere. There's several Sith organizations in the timeline. http://starwars.wiki...Great_Sith_War)

 

 

 

 

I believe I have addressed point 3, please let me know!


Edited by Ailred Vruumond, 30 July 2018 - 09:33 PM.


#5
Taeli Raaf

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Ailred Vruumond

 

There are still several things that need addressed:

  • Being able to breathe the different types of atmosphere still needs to be added into strengths
  • Strengths and weaknesses are still not balanced out, so I will be requiring two strengths to be dropped and two actual weaknesses in a PvP or PvE scenario to be added. As they currently stand two of your weaknesses (the weak Force users and rarely have Force Sensitives) can essentially be combined into one weakness. The only actual weakness that might come up in a competitive roleplay situation is the light sensitivity and blindness (although this is mitigated due to the enhanced senses they have)
  • Okay, so, history lesson time/culture development time. The Great Sith War by Exar Kun lasted all of 4 years, next war with the Sith, the Jedi Civil War, did not occur until almost 40 years later in 3959. That conflict, and the Jedi Purge, lasted about 8 years. After that, there is a 300-year gap before Vitiate's Empire emerged from hiding where the galaxy rebuilt, and the New Sith Wars did not occur until 1,600 years after the end of the war with Vitiate's Sith Empire. Because you have these beings living for so long, between 200-300 years, and considering you can get roughly 16 to 23 generations between then and our current timeline era, there would have been a) not enough time to destroy a culture as too many beings who had lived and known the culture before any Sith enslavement occurred were still around and could rebuild and educate the next generation B) the Sith enslavement would have been choppy at best as there are decades and centuries between different Sith Empires, and c) you added in the strength that they are culturally adaptive.


#6
Ailred Vruumond

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Taeli Raaf
 
 
Edits Committed
  • Edited Description to reflect new edits
  • Removed 'Expert Swimming' - Made the species completely evolve away from water and onto land, but of course still likes to swim.
  • Edited 'Armored Skin' wording so not to be misconstrued, made to sound less than actual full armor.
  • Removed Type III Atmosphere entirely
  • Added Breathable Atmospheres Type I and II to Strengths
  • Added Wikipedia link to Venom Resistance
  • Altered 'Sensitive to Cold' Weakness to Cold Blooded/Vulnerable to Cold. This forces them to wear Environmental Suits when leaving their safe Environments (Ships/ hot caves/saunas/etc)
  • Added 'Vulnerable to Radiation' Weakness
Thanks for the history lesson. Because of the Location of their planet, and the history of Yavin 4, showing remnants stayed behind still throughout the loss of their Sith Lords, and taking what you said about "the Sith enslavement would have been choppy at best as there are decades and centuries between different Sith Empires" confirms to what I have stated to their conditions; the control of enslavement loosening more and more, until it was enough they could flee.

Edited by Ailred Vruumond, 03 August 2018 - 12:28 AM.


#7
Ailred Vruumond

Ailred Vruumond
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(I hit quote instead of edit... I'm tired haha ignore this. I was only fixing a spelling error)

Edited by Ailred Vruumond, 03 August 2018 - 12:28 AM.


#8
Taeli Raaf

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Ailred Vruumond

 

We are still sitting at 10 strengths to 6 weaknesses (the weak when Force Sensitive and Force Sensitivity being rare among them are so similar I am counting them as one weakness). I have found the best way to do strengths and weaknesses is when creating a strength to think of the inverse of that or a weakness that would be tied into the strength in some way. So please adjust these numbers accordingly so they are even.



#9
Ailred Vruumond

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Taeli Raaf

 

 

Chrome crashed, so now I have to be short in what I have to say.

 

 

Weakened Force Sensitivity, while players may not roleplay it properly, I consider to force them to be stuck at Knight level power. Albeit there are few and strenuous external remedies. I consider them real weaknesses, separately.

 

Venom resistance can be removed, everyday ordinary humans can do it, if they put the time and effort into it.

 

Mass Reproduction doesn't matter at all, it's just flavor, it can be removed. There are plenty of other star wars species that reproduce with egg clusters. You still have to wait for them to hatch and the eggs are still fragile.

 

Blindness vs increased senses

 

These two naturally cancel each other out, as they are just real counters to each other. So far these numbers are 8 - 7, the cancelled out make it 7 - 6.

 

 

Notes

I can add a weakness where, including to metabolism that they don't heal quickly, that when injured they bleed profusely, and die quicker to loss of blood

"Increased" for me does not mean twice as powerful. I am saying increased to be, at most, in game terms, to be 1.5x more.

 

If you need better clarification and more appropriate word usage to make things more clear to understand, I am absolutely open to suggestions.


Edited by Ailred Vruumond, 05 August 2018 - 05:15 PM.


#10
Taeli Raaf

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Ailred Vruumond

 

It is not about word choice, it is about balance. As things stand they need significant weaknesses to balance the strengths, so add more weaknesses to keep the strengths, and these have to be weaknesses that can be exploited in PvP or PvE, not fluff or conditional weaknesses, or this will be denied. As always, you are free to second chance.



#11
Ailred Vruumond

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Taeli Raaf

 

 

No need, I'm trying to work with you.

 

I've removed a couple Strengths and added Coagulopathy. This actually changes the game by a lot. Almost always, they need an environment suit now, to give them added protection. Their skin does NOT protect them from Vibroblades, and if anything, it makes everything exceptionally worse. This does not exclude other specialty bladed weapons, and in some cases, normal bladed weapons can still cause damage. If and when a Claydoish takes any physical damage, doesn't even need to bleed, they could die.

 

https://en.wikipedia...ns_and_symptoms

 

 

This makes them susceptible to blunt force trauma, as they could have severe internal bleeding, even in the brain. So specialized bladed weapons, and blunt weaponry are the species weaknesses, even with environment suits. Fall damage is also a thing for them. How does that look?



#12
Taeli Raaf

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Ailred Vruumond

 

Pending approval

 

Allyson Locke Zeradias Mant Irajah Ven



#13
Allyson Locke

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Approved