With: Vera Mina (http://starwarsrp.ne...biot-vera-mina/
Armed with: Hundred-Handed Giant, Progenitor's sword.
Wearing: Progenitor's Robes.
Objective: Wage war on all coffee drinkers.
Area of operation: ???
"Mother, I must protest this...this...this blatant insanity
!" Nine's biot protested, hands on her hips, clad in her white leather dress and shoes. "You can't even drink
They were in Nine's bedchambers, now plated with tin-foil on the walls and ceiling to prevent the First Order from reading her thoughts, and of course, to prevent them from corrupting her 'vital essence.'
"But my chillllldren cannnnn...and it isssssss them I fight for. And to prevent any mimes who might try to corrupt their vital essence
"Okay, I'm confused. What the hell is vital essence?
You've been ranting about that for weeks now."
"What, you been living in the stone age?! The mimes want to corrupt our purity of essence!
They put things in the drinking water! And then the smartasssssses pretend to pull at ssssssomething invisible on the sssssstreet! It's demons they pull at.
Demons!" Nine answered, the tall vampire seizing her lawyer with a fanatical look in her Obsidian eyes, two glowing dots of purple at the center of them the only way to tell if she was looking at you. She was otherwise quite beautiful, her Atrisian features prominent yet delicate also, her very black hair done in an eleborate Atrisian weave, her green and white ceremonial robes hanging on the edge of her shoulders.
Vera, who was shorter, her features ivory toned and curvaceous, simply raised an eyebrow in curiousity, her own very black hair long enough to reach the small of her back. The biot blinked otherwise unfeeling eyes at her creator.
"Still, this is a war over coffee and tea...if there is any point to what the CIS is doing, other than Darth Metus
having The Mother
of all brain tumors, I fail to see it."
"Darth Metus has the mother of all brain tumors? What's she like? How often does she get pregnant? Does he
get her pregnant? Does she rear any of them? What do they look like coming out?
" The Lovely Nine asked with all sincerity in an out right demonic contralto, blinking confused eyes.
"Screw it, I'm just gonna go down there and make sure you don't butcher anyone..."
"That's nice. You're adorable..." Nine said, comically patting Vera on the head. "We must address my other children first...
Ten minutes later...
Nine stood in front of the assembled Morpheus Knights in the cleared out mess area. Vera was not certain where her creator had gotten it, but Nine had somehow acquired a gigantic CIS flag to drape in the background. Nine herself had acquired a CIS General's Uniform, and in place of the CIS medals were instead medals taken from First Order officers she had kidnapped in various amusing ways and then brutally fed upon.(The Li-Ves were masters of the so-called 'Silly Abduction')
"The point of a war between coffee and tea is not to die for your favorite beverage...Itsssssss to maaake the otheeeeerrrr poor bassstard die for THEIR favorite beverage!
" Nine proclaimed. "Now I know some of you may have heard that Tea Drinkerssssss don't like fighting. That's a load of bullchit!
Tea Drinkers love fighting! They love a winner! And they despise
"Mother is in rare form tonight..." one of the female Knights commented silently.
"Its good she's back to normal. She was so mopey and quiet before..." the first among The Morpheus Knights, Bobbi, commented.
"Fighting over our favorite beverage ssssssshall bring out the bessssst in us! It will at the very least remove all that is bassssse..." Nine hissed with the glint of genuine fanaticism.
"Hey are we actually going to kill people?" One of the Knights asked, raising his hand.
"Good question! Short answer: No. But its the thought, ladies and gennnnnnntlemaaaan. At bessssst you'll get a concussion. That's what those electrified whiffle bats all placed next to your folding seats are for. Diabolical!
" She shouted at the top of her lungs, holding both fists in the air.
Nine continued to pace in her general's uniform.
"Anyone who likes coffee is in league with the mimes! They WILL make us wear yellow! And eat butterflies and puppies!
And by the Gods
, you are gonna beat the crap out of every last one of those coffee-drinkin'-fiends
!" Nine snarled in demonic voice, giving a fist pump of authority.
"Now I understand why I'm starting to enjoy my work..." muttered Vera with an evil smirk, who had been watching to the side the whole time.
"You are ready! And if you aren't, some coffee loving feth will sneak up on you and beat you to death with a sock full of chit! The mimes who control them are cowards! And if we let the puppet masters controlling the coffee lovers go back, they'll breed a nation of mimesssss! Of cowardsssss!
Cowards who will corrupt our purity of essence!
Often by putting extra ingredientssssss in our lunchmeat
"It's always reassuring watching her slowly become more paranoid the longer she talks...I feel like she's really lookin' out for us, y'know?" another male knight in full power armor commented.
"I've already decorated my bed in tinfoil!" a female knight in the back said with immense enthusiasm. "Those feths ain't getting my
vital essence. No sir
"But...I thought the tin-foil only stopped them from reading your mind..." a knight next to her spoke. "What stops them from taking our vital essence?"
vital essence?" yet another female knight asked quietly. "Should we ask?"
"After the speech..." another told her, completely focused on the speech, awestruck.
"Purity of essence!
" Nine shouted randomly. "We must
preserve our tea-loving ways against the coffee lovers trying to sneak into our dreams, fart on our souls, and getting our girlfriends to cheat on us!
They want our shoes also! And they plan fantastic noodle-themed parties.
And when you think noodle-themed parties are a good idea, you have no soul!
Nine stopped, wide-eyed, tall and completely insane with paranoia,
and addressed her men.
"They're gonna know we are here! But we aren't afraid, you know why?! Because we are rubber and THEY ARE GLUE!
" she shouted. "Man the battlements! They might try to board us! And Bobbi!"
Bobbi stood up as his name was called. "Yes, mother?"
"Prepare the projectors! I want them to know blackness awaits those who enjoy coffee!"
"It will be done, mother!" Bobbi said backflipping into the darkness like the rest of them had to carry out her orders.
"Um...Vera? Why did they backflip?" The Lovely Nine asked, confused.
"Boring you gave the okay..." Vera explained.
"Oh! Huh, first good idea 'Boring me' has ever had. Can you backflip?"
"I've never tried..." Vera answered dryly.
"Well, you have my permission to backflip, should you chooooossssssse..." Nine said in a perky manner. "Let us prepare..."
Castle Morpheus approached the world whose name its captain hadn't bothered to get. As it descended through the atmosphere, its projectors engaged, the first time they had done so since flying.
The ship was like a CR-90, though greatly enlarged and looking...haunted
for lack of a better word. Like someone had stuck it in a basement filled with nightmares. Its structural look was gothic, but only because the term 'gothic' was the closest that could come to describing its unsettling look. The ship was already the subject of multiple outer rim ghost stories, swapped by spacers. Just seeing it could provoke a feeling of dread in the weak minded. But even the strong might feel a tinge of unease at its ghastly shape. The Leviathan Tantive's projectors then activated over the battlefield and the other reason for the terror it could generate became apparent.
The world darkened
dimmed to near pitch black. And not only did most of the light vanish...most of the sound
did to. One could have turned on a lightsaber and they would have barely been able to catch the hum. The blade itself would have looked dim. Running lights would have dimmed on any machine in the ships field of effect, which could cover a city the size of Coronet. The mobile castle itself was only visible from the occasional arc of purple energy between the projectors, a black, hideous silhouette against an artificial, silent night, right over the area where Josh Dragonsflame
and Scherezade deWinter
It did not last more than fifteen minutes, just enough for a Saotome Envoy to depart and land at the coordinates, as affected by the projectors as everything else in range was, and only due to the exceptional programming of its masquer-enhanced droid pilot was it able run as smoothly, due to sheer memorization of the controls.
Out stepped Nine, in a tinfoil hat, flanked by her knights, along with Vera, who was wearing a tinfoil hat as well. They were all armed with whiffle bats that had been joined with electrical parts. And high pressure paintball guns.
The effect of the projectors ceased overhead, and the world was sunny, Castle Morpheus remained hovering over the battle field, blotting out the sun.
Nine walked past deWinter and DragonsFlame, giving polite nods...though deWinter gave her an unpleasant flash of a man in ruined armor hitting the dirt from a gunshot. This caused her to hyperventilate for a second before she composed herself. Riggs. His name had been Riggs.
The battle would begin soon. Nine tried to focus on that, and not the sudden gunshot. Meanwhile, the men and women on her ship were broadcasting two words on all available frequencies:
Vera grabbed a seat next to Scherezade and took a swig out of a canteen filled with biot nutrient.
Edited by Nine Lives, 29 August 2018 - 02:12 PM.