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Feedback: Kahlil Chapter 3



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7 replies to this topic

#1
Kahlil Zambrano

Kahlil Zambrano

    Dubiety

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It's another one! Except this time it's about Kahlil's transition to the light and his tenure with the Jedi, one that's going to last. Been having a lot of fun with it, to say the least, and I'm curious what other people think about his newest transition. Lemmi know if you've got anythin to say. Feedback is my life.



#2
Veiere Arenais

Veiere Arenais

    Silver Jedi Ambassador

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I've always been biased (For, not against), when it comes to your Characters and threading with you. That said, the first big thing that stood out was seeing a Zambrano in with the Jedi. I wonder how your father, Darth Carnifex feels :D I hope to see you two coming across one another on the battlefield one of these days!

 

As for your character himself, it was good to be able to play a part in trying to lessen the Darkness within him and guide him closer to the light. You've got a mentor in with the Silver Jedi which I was happy to see and knowing your ability to write, it's always been a good read threading with you or catching up on what you've been doing. What I do like, is that his struggle is on-going and it's not just a quick switch from dark to light, similar to how Veiere still struggles with the grief over his past.

 

Keep on fighting the good fight brother!


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[Jedi Battle-Armor] ["The Judiciary" Heavy Cruiser] [Veiere's Silver Lightsaber]

~ The right course of action rarely comes with ease, and without personal sacrifice ~


#3
Darth Carnifex

Darth Carnifex

    Immortal Sith Emperor

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He's already been replaced with a clone

 

Veiere Arenais



#4
Jerek Zenduu

Jerek Zenduu

    Ace in a Black Hole

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So glad he stopped seeing Jerek as an opponent. And he got a girlfriend, so he doesn't need to steal mine. Excellent choices which just confirms that the Light Side is the Right Side.

 

I do really enjoy Jedi Kahlil, though I haven't gotten to write with him enough.


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#5
Eenia Vahn

Eenia Vahn

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Well, I didn't write any with him as a Sith, and as character!girlfriend I'm probably horribly biased, but you know I adore him. There have been some challenges, and I'm sure there will be more, but I love every minute of it. You already know I'm horribly addicted~


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#6
Taeli Raaf

Taeli Raaf

    Bookworm

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*watches from shadows* enjoying the read, keep up the excellent character development



#7
Gherron Dragonsflame

Gherron Dragonsflame

    Space dad

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As his master, I share some bias with some of the others here, but I’ve always enjoyed your writing regardless. Just recently started writing with Kahlil, and I really enjoy the character. I read your posts and can see how unsure he is about everything. He’s in new waters and it shows. Didn’t see him as a Sith, but that in itself shows a lot. Keep up the good work man!

#8
Kelsie Sylvan

Kelsie Sylvan

    Smoother than Butter, Sweeter than Honey

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Smh Kahlil you gotta post to me, Kelsie still hasn't gotten a chance to smack him for joining the Jedi in the first place >->

(I haven't checked out too many of your recent threads, so I'll have to keep reading, but I know you're a great writer and whatever direction you take the character in will be awesome. Keep going strong!)

Kahlil Zambrano