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Feedback: Kelsie!

Kelsie Sylvan Feedback

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#1
Kelsie Sylvan

Kelsie Sylvan

    These Odds are Unfair...

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  • 356 posts
Welp, I think I'm doing one of these.

So basically I'm getting bored, lying in bed, and trying to think about my writing and how to improve -- as much as I love the *endless* praise by my bestie Krystal Estain I don't feel like I'm getting enough feedback from multiple sources. So here I am, putting myself out there: What do the folks on Chaos think about Kelsie? Backstory, current threads, how I write her, and ideas for next steps (I have a few story threads I'm about to pull on, but nothing like a real 'chapter' or character arc).

Additionally, feel free to pass the writing advice and feedback! I'm working on a single post for the old CIS jungle Dom where there's a cave in which spirits supposedly inhabit -- I need help with dialogue as Kelsie converses with her now deceased master, and perhaps her son.

*CIS is not allowed to pile in*


#2
Krystal Estain

Krystal Estain

    Smart girls don't win by being polite.

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Ahem, I feel quite attacked. 

 

My praise is very valid, thank you very much! I think your weakest point is definitely the dialogue -- simply going off of what I've seen written in some threads, it can sometimes come across stilted or a little unusual for normal speech patterns, and sometimes your dialogue for Kelsie/an NPC can read very similar. I'd recommend trying to listen to her voice sample a lot and give her a distinctive pattern of speech -- we don't all talk the same irl -- and always read the dialogue aloud before you put it into the post!!

 

That being said, you're quite fabulous! I don't know much about Kelsie's story arc but I always get her personality coming through the posts, and feel like her actions always fit in with her overall backstory/plan. 

 

Also, your art is very pretty. xd

 

Kelsie Sylvan


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#3
Scherezade deWinter

Scherezade deWinter

    The Blood Hound

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  • 4,000 posts

You're an awesome writer. You're creative, eloquent, and even your skrrting is adorable. The only thing I hate is your choice of font ♥


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#4
Kahlil Zambrano

Kahlil Zambrano

    Dubiety

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*Watches the CIS immediately pile on*

 

You're a damn good writer though, especially with how Kelsie helped Kahlil leave the Sith and ultimately pushed him into a completely different direction then I was expecting to write him as. There dynamic is hilarious at times, and sad at others, all because of how good you are at expressing the expressionless Kelsie. It's super entertaining. I haven't seen much recently as I've been away, but I look forward to seeing more of her now that I've returned.