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Submission Modifications

* * * * * 2 votes kudos Tef submission modifications

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#701
Arekk

Arekk

    High Roller

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Sub Mod - #712 - Bryn'adûl Crusaders | Chieftain's Fist [Completed]
Sub Mod - #713 - The Draelvasier [Completed]
Sub Mod - #714 - Circle of Yarkul [Completed]
Sub Mod - #715 - Circle of Izlechivat [Completed]
Sub Mod - #716 - Watchers of the Night [Completed]

Sub Mod - #717 - The Revenants [Completed]


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#702
Tegaea Alcori

Tegaea Alcori

    Firemane Industries CEO

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Submission Name: Reaper Squad

Link to SubmissionHere

Summary of Modification: Adding Unit Experience
Reason for Modification: Updating unit. The unit was described as being an elite one when I first subbed it, though the Unit Experience category did not exist back then. So I am adding in this category to make things more transparent.

Modification:

 

In Combat Information, add:

  • Unit ExperienceElite.

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#703
Anya Venari

Anya Venari

    Star Queen Tirathana VII

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Submission Name: Eldorai Sciiac Reserve Battalions

Link to SubmissionHere

Summary of Modification: Adding Unit Experience
Reason for Modification: Updating unit. The Unit Experience category did not exist back when the unit was subbed. So I am adding in this category to make things more transparent.

 

Modification:

  • Unit ExperienceTrained


#704
Arekk

Arekk

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Sub Mod - #719 - Reaper Squad [Completed]

Sub Mod - #720 - Eldorai Sciiac Reserve Battalions [Completed]


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#705
Marcellus Decker

Marcellus Decker

    "I won't be a slave forever."

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Submission Name: The Sandali

Link to Submission: Link
Summary of Modification: Archived
Reason for Modification: Updated and Resubmitted.

 



#706
Anya Venari

Anya Venari

    Star Queen Tirathana VII

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Submission Name: Tygara

Link to Submission: http://starwarsrp.ne...c/51999-tygara/
Summary of Modification: Edit history and population.
Reason for Modification: Doing a minor retcon and update of the history to 'current' times.
Modification:

 

Population:Sparse. Whilst many of the sentient population has left Tygara many remain or have returned. This includes small populations of Xioquo and Vashyada who could not bear to leave their ancestral homes, as well as a significant minority of Qadiri and Eldorai. For the Qadiri, many who remain are enemies of Semiramis and seek to build their power now they are alone. For the Eldorai many simply could not endure another Exodus and have decided to take their chances on solid ground.

 

History:

(Replace)

 

With the rise of The Sith Empire and the collapse of the SSC and Galactic Alliance, Tygara was vulnerable to the rising tide. With no strong allies and Firemane’s reluctance due to continual Eldorai intrigue, a summit was called to decide the future of Tygara. At this summit it was decided to use a mixture of Sanctuary Habitat ships and Asur Worldships to evacuate the entire planet. Firemane rented these stations to the Eldorai and other races, but maintains a controlling interest on board. This monumental effort involved the dismantling of the newly constructed New Santaissa , Fort Kerrigan and the Star Fortress as well as a relentless process of providing supplies and getting people on board.

 

There was of course resistance as the native races were frightened by the new technology and being pushed into space. Full scale wars even developed among the warring Qadiri nations, but eventually the populations of the Qadiri were put onto a Sanctuary Habitat with a strong core of advisors.

 

The Xioquo and Vashyada were much easier, being less in population and being led by farsighted leaders who were able to see the necessity of the move.

 

Though it took nearly a year, the planet was statistically denuded of population and they moved onto a new and brighter future in the stars.

 

 

 

(Replace Above with this:)

 

 

With the collapse of several galactic powers, Tygara was believed to be vulnerable to outside invasion. The planet lacked strong allies and Firemane was reluctant due to continual Eldorai intrigue. It became clear that its inhabitants needed to advance rather than remain complacent. Thus at the instigation of Tylania, Paragon of the Vashyada, a summit was convened to decide the future of the planet. It was the first time that the queens of all four Eldorai races had met in one place. It was also noteworthy for the lack of bloodshed. It was hosted by Firemane aboard the Arx Aeternae.

 

 

At the summit it was decided that the elves would move into space. Firemane would provide the means and technological know-how to uplift the elves and enable them to go off, explore and colonise other words. To this end, a mixture of of Sanctuary Habitat ships and Asur Worldships would be utilised. Firemane rented these stations, but maintained a controlling interest.

 

 

Not all elves would be removed from the planet right away. While the Eldorai were used to spaceflight and had the experience of the Exodus from Kaeshana to draw upon, the Tygarans had not known about FTL travel or starships until a few years ago. Thus many elves remained on the planet, but the arkships remained on standby so that the rest of the population could be evacuated if needed. Reactions among the elves varied.

 

 

Ambitious rulers such as Shahbânu Semiramis saw this as a chance to advance her agenda and expand into space, for she sought to modernise her people - and at the same time become their uncontested ruler. This caused strife and conflict among the Qadiri, culminating in the Krolis War. Others were afraid of moving into the stars, either out of superstition or because they feared becoming more dependent on the sky people. Conversely, some thought that adapting foreign technology would reduce their reliance on their foreign patrons in the long-term.

 

 

The Vashyada and Xioquo, being smaller in population and led by farsighted leaders, were more tranquil. For the Xioquo it was a way to move on from the horrors of the past centuries and escape the confines of the Underealm. The Vashyada were the least technologically developed of the elf races, but also the most peaceful and rational. Nova Bank, led by an Eldorai called Varisanthra Lycaeni, provided loans to fund the colonisation efforts. To varying degrees, all elf races used the chance to remove political troublemakers without blood being spilt. Those who could afford it were given starships by Firemane so that they could go off. Among other things, a group of Eldorai reactionaries tried to build a 'True Eldorai Matriarchy' on Raevana, which turned out to be a poor decision on their part. The Shadow Knights, a group of Eldorai dissidents and survivalists, used the opportunity to conduct a recruitment drive. Thus the elves moved onto a new and brighter future in the stars.

 

 



#707
Tathra Khaeus

Tathra Khaeus

    𝕎𝔸ℝ'𝕊 ℂ𝕌𝕊𝕋𝕆𝔻𝕀𝔸ℕ

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​Submission Name: ​Bryn'adûl Crusaders | Writhing Servitors [Also please change the title to simply Bryn'adul | Writhing Servitors]

 

​Link to Submission: X

​Summary of Modification: ​Updating to new NPC Layout, lowering unit size and availability whilst clarifying their strengths.

​Reason of Modification: ​Clarification of some things, expansions upon Servitors abilities.

​Modification:

 

The Bryn'adûl | Writhing Servitors

 

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​[Peter Konig: Dune Worms - Artstation]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

  • Intent: To create a creature to help create dynamic combat scenarios unique to the Bryn'adûl.
  • Image Credit: X
  • Role: Unit Placement | Infantry Destroyer
  • Links:

 

​- The Bryn'adûl

​- Shamans

 

GENERAL INFORMATION:

  • Unit Name: Servitors
  • Affiliation: The Bryn'adûl
  • Classification: Strategic Infantry Killer
  • Equipment: N/A
  • Description: A massive creature, typically around two-hundred metres in length. A massive serpent that allows for strategic placement of units through the use of its ability to easily tunnel through most terrain types.

COMBAT INFORMATION:

  • Unit SizeSmall [Contains four in total]
  • Unit AvailabilityUnique [Only one able to be deployed at a time]
  • Unit Experience: Veteran
  • Combat Function: The Servitor is a multipurpose tool, a tactical device for use by field commanders to destabilise large groups of hostile forces, destroy enemy buildings with little effort and allow safe transport for various forces.  

Strengths:

 

 

 

 

+Tough Hide: These creatures have a tough hide, capable of withstanding a great deal of abuse. Anything with smaller firepower than a large tank could likely do nothing more than annoy the Servitor. Even turbolasers typically may require several focused hits to deal lethal damage to a Servitor.

 

+ Dig Through: As their name suggests, these are tunnelling machines made into flesh. These creatures tunnel through rock, metal, soil and sand to go wherever they are directed. They can also easily resurface or re-enter the ground as they please.

 

+Wrap Around: These creatures can wrap themselves around or use various parts of their bodies to crush buildings or vehicles or pull them underground at the command of a Shaman. This includes heavy vehicles such as AT-AT's and larger buildings.

 

+Ambush: These creatures are capable of creating multiple small holes in an area for Bryn'adûl forces to infiltrate and attack enemies from positions otherwise impossible to reach.

 

+Best Defence: This creatures are non-conventional warfare assets, not required to physically surface to attack enemies - able of creating sinkholes to devour all forms of ground-forces.

 

 

 

Weaknesses:

 

 

 

- Dumb: These creatures are sub-sentient for a reason, designed to have malleable and easily controlled minds that respond to control with passive release. This means that, these creatures are naturally quiet dull-witted.

 

- Blind: The  creatures are blind, only having the senses of hearing and smell to discern their surroundings. Normally, without guidance these creatures stay underground and away from loud noises.

 

- Acid: Praedilacyt's have a weakness for large amounts of highly corrosive acidic substances, due to the nature of their rock-like armour, it can easily be burnt through by acid and in turn severely harm the creature.

 

- Rumble: When these things are close to the surface, a standard humanoid can typically feel the ground quake, giving sufficient warning of their approach.

 

-Sonic Decent: Sonic weaponry are a viable option, able to disrupt their available senses.

 

 

 

HISTORICAL INFORMATION:

The Draelvasier, the society that exists as the entirety of the Bryn'adûl have an emphasis of the usage of their natural resources. This means that they will often turn to the flesh of the galaxy for answers rather than that technology - however they do realise its uses.

 

Thus once the Bryn'adûl discovered the reality of the Wyrms, they began testing to see if the strategies drawn up by Tathra were feasible. The question of his fallibility was one of much debate as the research continued until the researchers concluded that the creatures were possible. Thus, dubbed as Wyrms - the Servitors were slowly developed to deal with large targets, having a control of the terrain of the battlefield instead of simply outright assaulting a base.

 

Tathra arrived weeks before their deployment ready date to check up on the researches as development steadily continued, his personal oversight ensuring the creatures remained untethered by societal niceties nor any from of bias nor hidden agenda. When the cloning of these creatures began, Tathra absconded with two of their most promising candidates to try them out.

 

The Servitor wyrms are fast and durable, however have no offensive capabilities beyond the ability to ferociously dig. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Edited by Tathra Khaeus, 09 March 2019 - 07:13 PM.

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#708
Bastille Rommer

Bastille Rommer

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Submission Name: Ra'Katha

Link to Submission: http://starwarsrp.ne...141357-rakatha/
Summary of Modification: Changing Hex Coordinates
Reason for Modification: I'm trying to get Ra'Katha into the CIS, so i'm moving it to a hex closer to CIS territory
Modification: Change current hex coordinate from V-57 to V-53

 

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#709
Siobhan Kerrigan

Siobhan Kerrigan

    Karishzar

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Submission Name: Order of Fire

Link to SubmissionHere

Summary of Modification: Move to Pre-Codex
Reason for Modification: Making several edits to update lore and bring the submission in line with the new template.

Modification:

 

Move to Pre-Codex


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#710
Kaida Taldir

Kaida Taldir

    Ice Lady

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Submission Name: Exemplars

Link to SubmissionHere

Summary of Modification: Update Strengths and Weaknesses. Modifying equipment. Adding Unit Experience.
Reason for Modification: Updating unit. The unit was described as being an elite one when I first subbed, though the Unit Experience category did not exist back then. So I am adding in this category to make things more transparent.

Modification:

 

In Combat Information, add:

 

  • Unit ExperienceElite

 

 

In Equipment, change this:

 

To this:

 

In Equipment, change this:

 

To this:

 

In Equipment, add:

 

In Strengths and Weaknesses, change this:

 

The Exemplars are a crack unit of elite infantry. They are composed of Knight level Force-users, who specialise in elemental abilities (fire, ice, earth and air/lightning), as well as offensive and defensive telekinesis. The Exemplars are characterised by high morale, discipline under fire and zeal. However, they have only a few heavy weapons and lack heavy combat vehicles. This can put them at a disadvantage when confronted by heavy armour or heavy fortifications, despite their preternatural powers. Being infantry, they are vulnerable to long range bombardment, such as artillery and air strikes. They have a few portable missile launchers and can use elemental skills, such as manipulating the wind, to counter attacking aircraft to an extent, but this is quite variable.

 

 

The unit is also fairly small, which limits how many of the warriors can appear on the battlefield at any given time. Thus enemy forces that are unable to match them on a one-on-one basis could overwhelm them through sheer force of numbers as attrition sets in. Battle shields can provide protection in a pitched fight, but a shield wall is also rather slow-moving, vulnerable to flanking attacks and bombardment. It also cannot stop turbolasers, missiles and so on. They may be able to strike hard and establish a bridgehead in enemy territory, but would require support to hold it and exploit this gain, especially over a prolonged period. While the Exemplars train extensively in the use of conventional weapons and tactics, losing the Force means being deprived of their biggest asset. Thus they can be at a disadvantage if forced to engage enemies who utilise ysalamiri or devices that negate the Force. Most of the soldiers in the unit are Eldorai. Members of this race are more agile and dexterous than humans, but on average physically weaker and possess a lower pain threshold.

 

 

To this:

 

 

The Exemplars are a crack unit of elite infantry. They are composed of Knight level Force-users, who specialise in elemental abilities (fire, ice, earth and air/lightning), as well as offensive and defensive telekinesis. They are capable of using the Force for physical augmentation to buff themselves and control their pain. The Exemplars are characterised by high morale, discipline under fire and zeal. However, they have only a few heavy weapons and lack heavy combat vehicles. This can put them at a disadvantage when confronted by heavy armour or heavy fortifications, despite their preternatural powers. Being infantry, they are vulnerable to long range bombardment, such as artillery and air strikes. They have a few portable missile launchers and can use elemental skills, such as manipulating the wind, to counter attacking aircraft to an extent, but this is quite variable.

 

 

The unit is also fairly small, which limits how many of the warriors can appear on the battlefield at any given time. Thus enemy forces that are unable to match them on a one-on-one basis could overwhelm them through sheer force of numbers as attrition sets in. Battle shields can provide protection in a pitched fight, but a shield wall is also rather slow-moving, vulnerable to flanking attacks and bombardment. It also cannot stop turbolasers, missiles and so on. They may be able to strike hard and establish a bridgehead in enemy territory, but would require support to hold it and exploit this gain, especially over a prolonged period. While the Exemplars train extensively in the use of conventional weapons and tactics, losing the Force means being deprived of their biggest asset. Thus they can be at a disadvantage if forced to engage enemies who utilise ysalamiri or devices that negate the Force.


Edited by Kaida Taldir, 18 March 2019 - 01:10 PM.


#711
Siobhan Kerrigan

Siobhan Kerrigan

    Karishzar

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Submission Name: Order of Fire Silencers.

Link to SubmissionHere

Summary of Modification: Adding Experience. Update equipment.
Reason for Modification: Updating unit. The unit was described as being an elite one when I first subbed, though the Unit Experience category did not exist back then. So I am adding in this category to make things more transparent.

Modification:

 

In Combat Information, add:

 

  • Unit ExperienceElite

In Equipment, add:


Edited by Siobhan Kerrigan, 19 March 2019 - 01:01 PM.

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#712
Siobhan Kerrigan

Siobhan Kerrigan

    Karishzar

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Submission Name: Cataphracts of the Ascending Phoenix

Link to SubmissionHere

Summary of Modification: Adding Experience and tinkering with equipment.
Reason for Modification: Updating unit. The unit was described as being an elite one when I first subbed, though the Unit Experience category did not exist back then. So I am adding in this category to make things more transparent. The Cataphracts saw extensive combat action during the Tephrike campaign.

Modification:

 

In Combat Information, add:

 

  • Unit ExperienceElite

 

In Equipment, add:

In Equipment, change this:

 

 

To this:

 

In Equipment, change this:

 

To this: 


Edited by Siobhan Kerrigan, 17 March 2019 - 08:49 AM.

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#713
Karrigan'Xalda

Karrigan'Xalda

    Daughter of the Karishzar

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Submission Name: Heralds of the Destroyer

Link to SubmissionHere

Summary of Modification: Adding Experience. Update gear.
Reason for Modification: Updating unit. The unit was described as being an elite one when I first subbed, though the Unit Experience category did not exist back then. So I am adding in this category to make things more transparent.

Modification:

 

In Combat Information, add:

 

  • Unit ExperienceElite

 

In Equipment, add:

 

In Equipment, change this:

 

 

To this:

 


Edited by Karrigan'Xalda, 20 March 2019 - 04:54 PM.


#714
Tegaea Alcori

Tegaea Alcori

    Firemane Industries CEO

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Submission Name: Qadiri Sepoys

Link to SubmissionHere

Summary of Modification: Adding Unit Experience
Reason for Modification: Updating unit. The Unit Experience category did not exist back when the unit was subbed. So I am adding in this category to make things more transparent.

 

Modification:

  • Unit ExperienceTrained

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#715
Scherezade deWinter

Scherezade deWinter

    Honorary Butt Queen of Eshan

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Submission Name: Endelaan

Link to Submission: http://starwarsrp.ne...34184-endelaan/
Summary of Modification: Changing the planet's precise location.
Reason for Modification: With the changes brought to us with the new Map changes and with it the ability to move the location of planets we've submitted a long time ago, I would like to use this opportunity to strike the planet off the hex on the submission-level, and keep it off the map until further notice. The planet is already not a part of the new map, and I would like its submission to reflect that.
Modification:

 

Please change:

  • Coordinates: AB-3

 

To:

  • Coordinates: Exact coordinates currently unknown. The planet does not appear on the map at present.

Edited by Scherezade deWinter, 17 March 2019 - 08:47 AM.

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made by Ahtemis


#716
Darth Carnifex

Darth Carnifex

    Immortal Sith Emperor

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Submission Name: The Behemoth
Link to Submission: Click
Summary of Modification: Move to Pre-Codex
Reason for Modification: Want to work on it more
Modification:
 
Slip Slop Slap that baby on over


#717
Srina Talon

Srina Talon

    Dread Queen

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Marcellus Decker #722 - The Sandali - [Completed]

 

Anya Venari#723 - Tygara - [Completed]

 

Tathra Khaeus #724 - Bryn'adul | Writhing Servitors - [Completed]

 

Bastille Rommer #725 - Ra'Katha - [Completed]

 

Siobhan Kerrigan #726 - Order of Fire,  #728 Order of the Fire Silencers, & #729Cataphracts of the Ascending Phoenix - [Completed]

 

Kaida Taldir #727 - Exemplars - [Completed]

 

Karrigan'Xalda #730 - Heralds of the Destroyer - [Completed]

 

Tegaea Alcori #731 - Qadiri Sepoys - [Completed]

 

Scherezade deWinter - Endelaan - [Completed]

 

Darth Carnifex - The Behemoth - [Completed]

 

Note: I did a lot of subs in one go, so please, if I made a mistake let me know. Thanks!


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