Nocturna the Ragna DragonDragon
Posted 25 April 2015 - 12:39 AM
Loyalties: Break (Rider/Nest Brother) please PM me [ @Break ] before use)
Role: Dragon asset of Light Industries, Mount, Warbeast.
Age: 4 [matured through Vong Shaping]
Species: Ragna Dragon
Force-Sensitive: Force Dead
Appearance: Giant Black Winged Beast
Personality: Loyal yet willful, angry yet controlled.
Nocturna has a long seeded hatred of Vong the species that both created her and enslaved her. She will attack one the first chance she gets.
her pride is what will get the best of her at all times the only stronger personality trait she has is her maternal instinct.
if one is lucky enough to befriend this beast she will accept them as one of her young and protect them to the death.
Nocturna is one of the original dragons born from the Vong shapers. She was the first to be able to communicate with another species and the only one capable of holding a conversation so far. After her first attempt at escape she destroyed half of a research facility and more than 100 people lost their lives. Thankfully Dredge's madness sought to see her rewarded for her tenacity rather than punish her. By letting her live.
Weapon of Choice: Fire, claws, tail, jaws
Combat Function: Nocturna is a mountable warbeast meant for combat. Able to easily handle 1-3 Jedi Knight (NPC) (acceptable to be wounded and deterred please PM me for permission to kill this NPC although not likely)
Skills: Fire breath, flight, superior strength, night vision, lightsabre resistant scales.
Notable Possessions: battle armor, saddle.
Other Notes: Nocturna is a wondrous beast please treat as such She likes Bantha meat and particularly enjoys the company of Wookie and Droid kind.
During the prime of the Yuzhan Vong faction the Horde, Nocturna was created under the watchful eyes of The Supreme Overlord Dredge. As one of the original 10 eggs hatched from the first clutch of Ragna Dragon eggs, she is the only female to survive. Being the female she was naturally largest of her siblings of which she killed 2 (killing siblings is natural to the species as it weeds out the weak from the strong early on).
During the time of her training she destroyed over half of the facilities, burning over 300 Vong grunts and burned/smashed the buildings used to house the great beasts. As punishment she was to be put to death.
The Great beast would not go so easily however her great strength allowed her to fly away and escape capture for 3 days. She was deemed too deadly to be of any use to the Horde and was set to be terminated by the The Supreme Overlord Dredge, but through her will and sheer power he saw promise in her raw destructive ability and chose her to be his personal mount. Sparing her life. During this period however Break was in control of the handling and documentation of all Horde Beasts and became close to the dragon admiring her strength and will he himself gave her special treatment.
During the downfall of the Horde, one of the more... empathetic leaders saw fit to free all of the dragons onto the Planet of Arcadia most of which have been hunted down and killed for the leather their skin creates. Nocturna defies this fate and actively challenges the natives. Currently this threat is being handled by Break. Whom plans to train her and preserve her species.
On a recent trip to Arcadia Break, Sul'ran (NPC) and various other friends intend to capture Nocturna tame her and protect her species. The beast boasts lightsabre resistant skin and fire that could melt the hull of a space craft in minutes, Break planned to take her into a deep crag mines and gas her into sleep from there her training shall begin.
Posted 25 April 2015 - 08:16 AM
First off, I need to see a lot more details added to this submission, in its description from further detailing out her behavior, to her history in other notes. Explain her loyalties to the Horde members and why it's that way. Also, I'm not comfortable with this being loyal to all members of the Horde. It's an incredibly dangerous and temperamental beast. It would be more likely for it to be loyal to one or two people and tolerate anyone else within the Horde.
As to the question about her scales, that more goes to the factory side of things. If you collect her scales, do the dev thread and do the dev thread for the armor, it should not be an issue. But that is up to the factory judges on that end, if they will accept the product you put up. Less so for us in Codex to make a judgement on that.
As for development, I'm working to speak with the other judges about what would be a good length for the dev thread. As a thread from nearly a year ago with five posts in it on your character, isn't really going to be enough here. So while we decide that, please work on what I mentioned above.
Also just so you are aware, dragons that are approved as NPCs are not are not allowed to be used in direct combat against PCs.
- Kaida Taldir likes this
Posted 25 April 2015 - 08:53 AM
Alright, spoken with the other judges. A dev thread of 50 posts will be required. Part of that dev thread needs to be detailing why and how this dragon came to be where she is. You may have 2-3 other writers in thread with you.
Posted 25 April 2015 - 09:21 AM
The details need to be here so they can be reviewed. So please go ahead and place them here. Yes, you can use what you have in the bio but it needs to be here.
And you still will have to add the details I asked for above. History, personality, loyalties all need to be detailed out.
Posted 25 April 2015 - 11:57 AM
Posted 25 April 2015 - 12:48 PM
If the threads are around a year old, I cannot accept them. Sorry. Things have changed since then, and given that the dev thread you link outside of the bio and species listing, only has six posts of yours in it as the dragon - It's simply not enough. You will have to do the dev thread as I requested, if you want this.
Nocturna is a mountable warbeast meant for combat. Able to easily handle (wound not kill) 1-2 Jedi Knights
You will not be able to directly effect PCs with this NPC. If you just wish to use him as a mount, that's fine. But it's combat function is going to be extremely limited. For fluff and flavor you can do what you like with NPCs and such, or background noise in a battle but I want to make it very clear, you can't use this against PCs.
As I said, it makes little sense for her to be completely loyal to a grouping of people. A couple people, fine sure. That's not a problem. And just tolerant of the rest of the Horde, IE not eat them the first chance she gets.
Details are extremely important in a submission like this. So please add as much as you possibly can detail wise. I would like to see the following added:
- History - Under Other Notes. At least 2 paragraphs.
- More details to personality
- Why her loyalties are what they are. - Under Other Notes.
Posted 05 May 2015 - 07:20 AM
Posted 05 May 2015 - 10:08 AM
Thanks! Didn't see that this morning when I looked through it, my apologies.
Just keep me updated as you go. Either pm me or leave me a message in this thread as to how things are moving along. And work on the edits I mentioned.
- Siobhan Kerrigan likes this
Posted 09 May 2015 - 04:37 PM
It's starting to look a little better. But still can use some more details on her. Like maybe why she killed the other dragon eggs. I still just need to see more details, and depth added to her story. Maybe you'll be able to figure some more things out about her, while the dev thread is happening and be able to add in some of the stuff from the dev thread directly into the submission for more flavor and details.
- Siobhan Kerrigan likes this
Posted 09 May 2015 - 06:26 PM
As for the killing the other eggs the species creation entry covers that they are extremely hostile to one another. It's typical behavior for the species. If you want me to state it again I can but it was mostly just adding to the character itself