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#1
Ultimatum

Ultimatum

    Duranium Lord

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I will start by saying sorry to the Codex judge who takes this up. This is a long submission and there may be parts that have not been completely finished in the editing department, I have gone over this as many times as I could while it was in the Word document but my mind is well and truly fried of this.

 

Please take as long as you need to read this, at something akin to an enjoyable rate rather than rushed. I knew coming in that this would take a long time getting through.

 

You may notice the size change in some of the text later on in the submission, this was not intentional! I went through a few edits trying to remove them and nothing has worked so I have resigned that as it was.

 

Name: Cordialis

 

Region: Unknown

System: Lon System

Suns: 1: Setler Type F (Giant)

 

Orbital Position: Approximately 10 AU from Sol

Moons: None

System Features: Three other planets, asteroid field

Herald, Ark, Keeper, Boundary

 

Herald:

Small planet within 10 AU of the star, has no life. First light to been seen from Cordialis before nightfall. It was first discovered by the Nissimus

 

Ark:

Sister planet of Cordialis, about 27 AU from the star, native life has not grown beyond microscopic stage.

 

Keeper:

Gas Giant at 40 AU from the star, often catches asteroids from Boundary before they reach Cordialis or Ark

 

Coordinates: In the hex left of Sabarene, practically right on the edge of the left side of the galaxy

Rotational Period: 2 days approx. (47.56 hours)

Orbital Period: 5476 days approx. (30 standard years)

 

Class: Terrestrial

Diameter: 25,512 km (2x Earth)

Atmosphere: Type 1

Climate: Temperate with multiple different regoins

Gravity: Twice Standard

Primary Terrain: Grasslands, Oceans, Tundra, Mountains, Forests, Other Earth Terrains

 

Native Species: Nissimus, Kaipo, Maelstroms, Pec-situs, Gratia

Immigrated Species: Humans, Twi’leks, Gran, majority of other alien races

Primary Languages: Basic

Government: The Nissimus leadership is based on a Socialist government, while the Kaipo are based around a Monarchy type government.

 

Population: 30 billion total approx..

15 billion Nissimus

10 billion Kaipo

5 billion of nonnatives

< 500 thousand Gratia

 

Grim Haunt: 16.5 billion (offworlders, Nissimus, and some Kaipo, Gratia)

Angel Haven: 10.8 billion (offworlders Nissimus, and majorly Kaipo)

Voln’s Domain: 2 billion Kaipo

0.7 billion are spread elsewhere over the world

 

Demonym: Cordian

 

Major Imports: High-end technology (Repulsorlifts, starships, reactors, etc…)

 

Major Exports: Teachings, Valuable materials (Bronzium, Alumabronze, Quadranium), Knowledge, Niche technology

 

Metals:

Alumabronze 47%

Found in large pockets near the surface of the planet

 

Bronzium 29%

Small veins found mostly in mountains in the North (Attempts at mining have been difficult and slow due to the presence of hostile creatures)

 

Quadranium 5%

Almost depleted veins under the plateau, few have been allowed to him in this area due to its sacredness to the Kaipo

 

Teachings and Knowledge: 7%

Mostly history of the planet and lesser technological secrets

 

Niche technology: 12%

In the form of smaller pieces of tech such as flight suits and other minor atmospheric flight craft

 

 

Affiliation: None

 

Major Locations:

 

Grim Haunt

 

The Library of Ancients

 

Angel Haven

 

Voln's Domain

 

The Ancestor

 

Abyssal Demise

 

Restricted Lands

 

Culture:

 

 

The culture of this planet is practically divided in half; on one side are the Kaipo, and on the other there is the Nissimus and nonnatives. Then there is the tiny third portion, Gratia.

 

 

Kaipo

 

The Kaipo tend to prefer to be left alone, enjoying peace amongst themselves. They are a people who have stayed as one through the centuries, a few exceptions aside, and have become quite strong for it. Their people are led by single ruler, who must prove himself to be the most powerful of his people in order to maintain control. They believe that a person must work to solve their own problems in order to grow; relying on another person to fix your mistakes is a weakness in their eyes.

War is a painful process to think of for the Kaipo, having had a very bad experience losing their home in war. They enjoy play fights and friendly duels, but they detest real combat and war. They will try to avoid real conflict as much as possible, but when they are forced to fight they do so with their whole being. They do not stand for half accomplishments.

 

Kaipo enjoy flying for fun. Their favorite part of flying is looking at the ground and seeing how small everything is. To them this shows how everything that is done on the ground by anyone is so small as to be insignificant. With the recent revelation about planets, galaxies, and the universe, their thoughts are even more present on the incomprehensibly small quandaries of life that so affect all life.

 

The Kaipo tend to believe that life is finite because all living matter understands the importance of life and death. They see that things that don’t die, rock, metal, etc. aren’t willing to die and therefore are lesser than organic matter. They believe that this inferiority is why those materials are only capable of servitude to organic matter. This concept, along with their short life spans, allows them to accept death more readily than the Nissimus. They see that people who are unwilling to die are naïve and are doomed to painful deaths. They believe that, while painful deaths can happen to any person, a person who does not accept death is dooming themselves to death being painful.

 

The Force is a novelty to them, only one species on their planet has the capability to use it safely. Due to their origin, being related to humans at some point, and the sheer millennia they have lived and evolved on the planet the Kaipo have had their ability within the Force almost entirely. They have not seen a Force sensitive in their number for centuries.

 

 

Nissimus

 

Nissimus are more open to outsiders and are quick to accept new ideas. They are a science oriented culture that believes that every problem may be solved through some scientific means. They welcome others because they believe that the more people you have working on one problem will make a solution apparent sooner than otherwise. They believe that it is best to work as a group, correcting mistakes and problems as a group so that weaknesses are balanced by strengths. The Nissimus are led by a group of scientists who maintain control and pass their command to a chosen successor upon death. The common people are expected to share everything without expecting any payment. In fact, there is no proper economy within the Nissimus because everything is shared as best as possible.

 

For the Nissimus war is a saddening fact of life. For them war is an answer that they use far too often in an attempt to rectify some wrongdoing. Their culture has been wracked with many civil wars that have never solved many of the culture’s problems. Most of the problems are caused by the traditions that the people cling to. They often say they are their own people, working towards the future, however the general populace holds to many of the traditions of their ancestors.

 

The Nissimus find particular enjoyment in science, particularly scientific advancements. They believe that because they are good at making scientific advancements they must then proceed with what they are good at. For them science is a natural progression and they wish to follow it to its end. The species seems naturally inclined towards advancement technologically and they have placed this as their foremost goal. They enjoy using their new technology as well; in fact, their flightsuits are one of the largest tourist attractions on planet. The Nissimus believe in sharing what they have learned with those that are intelligent enough to understand it.

 

The Nissimus live for about ten local years, as such they are used to living for a long time. Further they believe that life can become longer and longer until at last one lives forever after being born. They believe that if they can reach that point of infinite life that they will be ready for the next step into eternal life, becoming beings that are ascendant above all other life through technological advancement. They believe that, while it is unlikely they will ever see the results of the work there are trying to accomplish, they are making a better world for their children.

 

Like the Kaipo they have had their ability within the Force almost completely repressed, however as with the Kaipo if taken off planet their abilities will return to what they naturally would be. They think the Force is a danger, from what they have seen of the Gratia the Force has caused them much heartache in the recent years. They believe that the Force is not natural.

 

 

Gratia

 

The Gratia are a somewhat unique species that are the only natural Force users on the planet. They are a small group, their ability to reproduce was severely hampered by DNA manipulation by the Rakata. Thus, children are a rare thing in their species.

 

Because of their extreme fragility, the Gratia have come to detest physical warfare. They now see the most refined form of combat to be oral or mental battles. In their society to physically harm someone is to have sunk lower than an animal and the person is shunned until they truly repent of their actions. Because they were isolated from the rest of the planet by mountains surrounding the valley, their society has largely had little outside influence. They have had no physical wars among themselves, or with another species.

 

They find personal pleasure in exploring the stars, not physically, but instead they look at them and imagine what else there is out there. They in some ways fear the species that come from the stars, for their ancestors were tortured and killed by the Rakata when the Gratia proved too independent. Yet at the same time they view it with wonder, the massive metal beasts that come from the sky.

 

They are a largely animistic culture, they don’t necessarily worship the things around them, but they show a deep respect. Part of this is a response to the Rakata showing nothing respect and taking anything they wanted without care for what was harmed in so doing.

 

The Gratia are led by what they call the Guide. This is a single person who is shown by the Force, they do not call it that, to be their leader. The Force is very much a part of their lives, as they do not accomplish much physical labor with their incredibly meek bodies. They rely heavily on this unseen force that allows them to survive where otherwise they would not.

 

The Gratia are unique on the planet, their bodies have developed a mutation within the midi-clorians that have allowed them to maintain a proper connection with the Force even through the alien element that envelopes the planet. In recent years this has led to a problem though, the Maelstrom have become very aggressive to the use of Force, making the Gratia live in great danger every day of their life. The only thing that keeps them relatively safe is the fact that they live within a mountain range on the continent that does not have Maelstroms, so their use of the Force is only endangered truly by the crystals. They have only just begun to try and phase out the use of the Force, but they are having difficulty due to their fragility.

 

Because of their fragility, they rely on the Force to support their body in moving about. Their species originally had grown to be strong enough on planet, however after the experimentation they were made weaker. Their internal systems retained enough strength to continue to function in the gravity of the planet, however they could not hold up much more. It is possible that on other planets with a less sever gravity they may be able to survive with ease, however unless that planet has little to no gravity it is unlikely that they will be able to move around without the help of the Force.

 

 

Technology

 

 

Has not reached the point of creating their ships for star travel, they are quite good at atmospheric travel. They have a limited starship numberfrom what was given to them a long time ago.

 

 

The Kaipo are in a rut technologically, they were able to reach the point where they built swords and other such but stopped there. They seem to be capable of learning how to use more advanced tech but they don’t seem to care to make it themselves. They have in the past captured Nissimus weapons and ships and used them sufficiently well that they do pose a threat with greater tech when they get their hands on it. They aren’t concerned about advancing in such a way.

 

 

The Nissimus on the other hand are very scientific advancement orientated. They almost have this need to try and become more and more advanced. They have built flightsuits, flying battleships, projectile weaponry, holographic communication, and early space travel in the form of rockets, though these never stay off the planet for more than a day. They have been advancing in this way since their beginning, always trying to find some way of creating more efficient devices to carry out any job. They have also become adept at building structures in the intense gravity of Cordialis. They are the only species who have accomplished constructing buildings greater than two stories, going so far as to build skyscrapers in many of their cities.

 

 

Gratia are even further behind technologically. They have been unable to advance beyond simplistic spears and the occasional stone arrow. They instead rely heavily upon their Force abilities to accomplish the jobs that would require more technology. Beyond that they are still living in villages and generally do not attempt expansion.

 

 

History:

 

Beginnings

 

First Civil War

 

Peace #1

 

At this time, the Kaipo once more found their way into history, though not from their own works. The Nissimus of the first city returned to their outposts to find that they were already occupied. They found that the Kaipo had moved in and had learned how to utilize the majority of the tech left behind. It was a strange realization that the Kaipo could be smarter than originally anticipated. The Nissimus attempted to relearn the language, while beginning to meet with the Kaipo again. The Kaipo had gone through a number of generations naturally while the Nissimus had been at war. They only had legends of what the Nissimus were and the Kaipo had stopped believing in their existence, having had to focus on their own survival in the winter. The Nissimus had been through a number of generations, but only due to the war.

 

The Kaipo found the rediscovery of the Nissimus to be a surprise. They weren’t certain what this meant, but they were willing to accept the people and to try and work with them. They cooperated, however they were not overly trusting. They decided to try and learn more of these strange people. It was at this point that the first Great Leader of the Kaipo arose. Largon was a Voln who had been the first sentient being on planet to kill a Maelstrom. By doing so he had proven himself to be the strongest Kaipo and was granted leadership.

 

Largon’s most well-known contribution to Kaipo society was the institution of the belief that the strongest would always lead the weaker, that the weaker would serve the stronger until such a time as the weaker became the stronger. He also began the belief that the Voln were the superior Kaipo and that the other subspecies were not as strong or good as the Voln. This did not radically change the Kaipo, as many would like to make it sound. This was how the Kaipo had been living for quite some time but it was only now that the ideologies were firmly planted by the ruler. This move put Largon into a very secure position as the majority of the Kaipo were Voln. He would rule for ten years before dyeing at the hands of the second Maelstrom he attempted to kill.

 

This left the Kaipo without leader and open to manipulation from the outside. Due to the fact that no Kaipo attempted to prove themselves superior, the Nissimus saw an opportunity to gain control and to learn more of this strange species. The Kaipo however wanted only peace and to take time to mourn their lost leader so they returned the outposts and most of the Kaipo moved back into the main camp and up into the mountain. The Nissimus only reacted to the withdrawn nature of the Kaipo by pressing for more information. They didn’t truly understand the Kaipo government style and did not comprehend that they were causing trouble. Their unwillingness to leave the Kaipo alone severely angered the winged men. They took it personally and the first things to suffer were the relations. They realized too late what they had accomplished. They had succeeded in igniting the first Interspecies War.

 

Interspecies War

 

Peace #2

 

After the treaties were accepted, the Nissimus pulled their forces back and left the entire higher regions of the mountains and plateaus to the Kaipo. They instead turned their interests to heading south and expanding into the open plains and thick jungles that tales told lay that way. The first Pec-situs was found and tamed at this point by an explorer. The creature proved very helpful in moving back and forth and carrying supplies. It would lead to the discovery of small family groups of these animals, many of which were tamed and used later as intercity trade. The relationship between the two cities improved considerably as time went on, the scientists having helped a great deal in this regard as they saw the advantages of combining efforts.

 

The Kaipo in the mean time soon lost their leader. Karpoth died of old age and according to his will he was buried in the plateau. To most Kaipo it was a strange request, after all their tradition as to burn the corpse and to drop the ashes from high points so that they may be carried on the wind. The plateau was marked off by the Kaipo as sacred ground to them; however the Nissimus wouldn’t be aware of this for another few local years.

 

Karpoth’s son, Haldorn claimed leadership by birthright, an even stranger custom that was not accepted by all Kaipo. Few however were willing to take the chance against Haldorn’s powerbase. He ruled for a week before the people began to listen to Porthom as leader. An Ukus, Porthom had slain a Maelstrom, much like the first great leader. Expectedly, Haldorn was not going to relinquish his power willingly. He stated that Porthom’s glory would have to be shared among the entire group that had killed the Maelstrom. Porthom was willing to do this, however he countered that Haldorn had never proven himself truly, having only fought in some of the later battles. Haldron had missed the final battle with the armorer walker.

 

These comments went back and forth for a few months, during which Haldorn lost more and more ground to Porthom. By the time that a duel was issued, Haldorn was left with only his closest friends. Porthom requested that Haldorn step down, however Haldorn was unwilling and demanded a duel to decide who would have command. Porthom wouldn’t agree until another month had passed. By this time, Haldorn had regained a small amount of followers. The duel was to be held as a basic duel with only daggers as the weapons. The end result of the duel was Haldorn died and Porthom was accused by some of killing Haldorn. However, the charges were paid no attention and Porthom became the next Great Leader.

 

Porthom was the first Ukus, and last, he had the Kaipo set outposts and small villages all over the continent, exploring and collecting safe locations in case their home was ever destroyed. It was during his reign that the Kaipo discovered the Nissimus city that would later become Grim Haunt. Some of the Kaipo wanted to take action against the Nissimus for the damages done in the war. Porthom however, fought against such things being done. He wanted to have peace with the neighbors, especially when the Nissimus were building weapons capable of mass destruction.

 

The Nissimus at the time were pooling resources to attempt building flying suits and ships for water and air. The water weapon platforms were fairly easy to work compared to the attempts at flight based weapons. They were hoping to avoid future conflicts with the Kaipo, especially with their own cities going through their own splits again. Grim Haunt had had a quarter of its population leave due to a disagreement again. The second city had had it even worse, losing a third of its people from a similar reason.

 

The Nissimus first working flight suits proved useful, if not quite as capable as the Kaipo were. The suits allowed their men to fly, but they tended to be too slow and not maneuverable enough to make them useful against the Kaipo. They also were able to produce the first flying vessel. It was little more than a bathtub sized platform with a machine gun built onto the front. The propulsion system had proven to be more effective than that on the flight suits, allowing the platform to move faster than the suits, but it was even less maneuverable than the suits.

 

The Kaipo however were unconcerned with the sight of a few people flying over the city Grim Haunt. They were becoming upset with their leader, who appeared to be overly obsessed with proving the Ukus power. Porthom forced inbreeding in order to keep blood lines and to show the Voln how the Ukus were superior, however this had a side effect. The Trus began to appear, they were upset with the events and wanted to have more freedom. They were considered the bottom of their species and they also wanted their chance. This ignited a revolution in their culture.

 

The Nissimus were never aware of the revolution that lasted a standard year. They were too focused on their own endeavors. They were able to make a slightly larger platform that could carry two people, one would operate a flight system and the other would care for the weapons. This platform though was more like an airplane, moving forward fast so as to defeat the force of gravity. They found this still to be too weak to face against the threat posed by the Kaipo. For some reason they still believed those people to be the worst danger, even though it was their own that were appearing to turn on them.

 

The Kaipo revolution was quite devastating for the Trus, the Voln and Ukus weren’t keen on the youngsters to take command and squashed the rebellion quickly. It was however not quick enough, the Trus accomplished one act that would place them in infamy and shame for most of history. They succeeded in killing Porthom. Once again the people were thrown into chaos and few of the leaders over the next years would be of any use to the culture. It would be fifty standard years before another great leader took control. During this time though, they realized that the Nissimus were not a united as a species. It was an interesting revelation to them, and one that would play an integral role in history.

 

The Nissimus continued faithfully working scientifically together, even when their cities split. That was the one factor that bound them together, their want for scientific advancement. They made leaps and bounds in that field for the next fifty years, during which they were overjoyed to create much more powerful weapons and more useful flight tech. They didn’t work on the suits as much as making ships capable of flying. The first large ship, being about five meters in length, was originally a sea faring vessel that was upgraded to fly. Their vessels for the ocean were surprisingly inefficient, though that was probably due to the fact that they never went far away from their continent. They believed it was the only piece of land on the whole world, they were assuming the planet was smaller than it actually was.

 

The vessel had massive steam engines installed to keep wing like structures moving to keep it floating in the air. It was the first mortar carrying structure to be put in flight. In actuality the mortars had been replaced with more powerful cannons. It was able to fly for two hours before requiring a refuel. It also had the first bombs that were being developed. It proved to be useful later on, though it wouldn’t be utilized in combat until the next war a few years later. It was at this point only tested over the ocean and used to deliver goods and people from one city to the next. This proved to be a quicker method of travel than the Pec-situs, which had become quite a favored form of transport.

 

Not much occurred aside from technological advancements for the next couple years. Eventually the next great leader arose among the Kaipo. Keshlan, a Voln, was the first female leader, who proved herself by defeating all other Kaipo duelists. She is considered the least of the Great Leaders, even though she was instrumental in keeping the Kaipo together and averting three separate revolutions. She was also incredibly successful at keeping the Kaipo’s grudge towards the Nissimus at bay and turning their efforts to constructive outlets. They expanded their village and the cave systems considerably during her reign.

 

The Nissimus continued advancing in this time, coming to a point that they had multiple flying platforms capable of staying in the air for a few hours at a time and each having enough weaponry to take out most ground forces. They also had another bout of revolution which resulted in cities splitting again, however Grim Haunt continued to grow even so. They had the most technologically advanced weaponry and city at the time and were popular to most of the scientific community due to this. Unfortunately it would be the first to take damage from the next confrontation.

 

Keshlan was 45 standard years old when she issued a command to locate all Nissimus cities. This was a cause for concern among the Kaipo as they were unprepared for war and were not certain as to why Keshlan wanted this. After only a month they had gotten all they knew of and Keshlan ordered the first mistake that led to the upcoming war. She had her soldiers attack the Nissimus facility housing their flying ships and anti-air weapons. She didn’t realize the gravity of her mistake.

[/spoiler]

 

Second Interspecies War

 

Peace #3

 

The Accidental War

 

Imperial Regime

 

Kaipo Revolution

 

Rebel Arrival

 

The Galactic Battle

 

The Folds of War

 

United Race

 

The Sacking of the Nissimus

 

The Event Horizon

 

The latest tragedy to affect the planet was the rising of Akala and the strange events that led to the disappearance of billions of beings across the galaxy. Cordialis was not protected from this. In an instant hundreds of thousands of Nissimus, thousands of Kaipo, and a good three quarters of the Gratia population were gone.

 

Those Gratia that remained were devastated by the Force fluctuations, their most important survival implement had been taken from them. In the first day a third of the remaining Gratia were injured or died. For the Nissimus this proved to be a single good thing to have happened, as it gave them an excuse to move in and occupy Gratia territory and to help them.

 

Meanwhile the event caused a strange reaction within the massive Maelstroms. Their minds were changed slightly, they began to become hostile to the use of the Force. They became even more aggressive before to those that were strong in the Force. On top of this, the crystal pockets on the planet also began having a strange effect on the world around them. They seemed to create a field in which the Force became less trustworthy in the ability to control it. Sometimes the attempt to use it would be made weaker and other times far too strong, throwing the ability to use the Force off. The Nissimus did not know of these crystal pockets, but they did see the large areas of effect. They were not able to make any real theories on why or where these would pop up.

 

For some time the whole planet fell into chaos as leaders tried to understand what had occurred. They didn’t even try to guess at what had happened. They simply could not understand why people had disappeared. The Gratia were the closest to the truth when they said that it was related to the Force and that something had angered it. They tried to tell the Nissimus, but their scientists were uncertain that this was true. Even so, there was nothing they could do.

 

A while later everything seemed to return to normal. Except that the fields that covered kilometers of land in seemingly random places still made using the Force questionable, this on top of the difficulty already using the Force. Then the Maelstroms were also very hostile still to its use.

 

 

Notable PCs: N/A

Intent: A place for Ultimatum to explore and to expand on a concept that I have had in mind, and to add a system for this galaxy



#2
Rusty

Rusty

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Under Review


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#3
Rusty

Rusty

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Let me preface this by wishing the stinging insects of a thousand worlds would seek out your moist places. I'm still kinda hungover and that was long. However, it was also extremely well thought out and beautifully realized.

 

There are two issues that need to be addressed, however.

 

The first is fairly simple, you just need to incorporate the Gulag plague into your planet's history. There's a chance it's in there and I just missed it, and if that's the case point out where and you're good on that. 

 

The Event Horizon The latest tragedy to affect the planet was the rising of Akala and the strange events that led to the disappearance of billions of beings across the galaxy. Cordialis was not protected from this. In an instant hundreds of thousands of Nissimus, thousands of Kaipo, and a good three quarters of the Gratia population were gone. On top of this, a hole between the live world and that of the Netherworld was opened. It was opened far in the north, in the regions that Maelstroms were most common. Those Gratia that remained were devastated by the Force fluctuations, their most important survival implement had been taken from them. In the first day a third of the remaining Gratia were injured or died. For the Nissimus this proved to be a single good thing to have happened, as it gave them an excuse to move in and occupy Gratia territory and to help them. Meanwhile the open portal between worlds caused a strange reaction within the massive Maelstroms. Their minds were changed slightly, they began to become hostile to the use of the Force. They became even more aggressive before to those that were strong in the Force. On top of this, the crystal pockets on the planet also began having a strange effect on the world around them. They seemed to create a field in which the Force became less trustworthy in the ability to control it. Sometimes the attempt to use it would be made weaker and other times far too strong, throwing the ability to use the Force off. The Nissimus did not know of these crystal pockets, but they did see the large areas of effect. They were not able to make any real theories on why or where these would pop up. For some time the whole planet fell into chaos as leaders tried to understand what had occurred. They didn’t even try to guess at what had happened. They simply could not understand why people had disappeared. The Gratia were the closest to the truth when they said that it was related to the Force and that something had angered it. They tried to tell the Nissimus, but their scientists were uncertain that this was true. Even so, there was nothing they could do. A while later everything seemed to return to normal. Except that the fields that covered kilometers of land in seemingly random places still made using the Force questionable, this on top of the difficulty already using the Force. Then the Maelstroms were also very hostile still to its use.

 

While I like the idea, there were a finite number of portals opened during the Netherworld event, and only two remain open at this time. I'm told no new portals will be authorized. You'll still have to address the events of Netherworld in your history, but the references to the portal have to go.

 

Anyway, once you get that taken care of, you should be good to go. This is a great sub, and you should be proud of it.

 

Ultimatum


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#4
Ultimatum

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Alright I deserved that. Haha

 

Thank you very much for the compliments. I hope that the species I am making up for this planet will match in viability and thoroughness.

 

So I realized as I was reading through the whole document that there appeared to be difficulty with those spoilers. Very sorry about that, so far my attempts to edit them out and get them sorted has ended in frustration.

 

The new section about the Gulag Plague has magically placed itself under The Sacking of Nissimus. Below is the text that is in there. At least it should be:

 

Pestilence of Outsiders

 

I have also removed all mention of the portals between the Netherworld and the living realm, as far as I have seen.

 

Rusty



#5
Rusty

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Alright, I think that should just about do it.

One final question: are the sentient species mentioned canon or noncanon? If they're canon, we would appreciate links to the appropriate Wookieepedia articles. If they're noncanon and have already been subbed, then linking the submissions would be helpful. If they haven't been subbed that's fine. We can move forward with this, just let us know when you get finished and we'll pop the links in.

Thanks much.

Ultimatum

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#6
Ultimatum

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Okay, the species are noncanon I have almost completed subs for them and hope to put them up for overview once the planet is approved.

 

I will give a holler when they are approved.

 

Rusty



#7
Rusty

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Alright, that takes care of that.

 

Approved, pending.

 

Valiens Nantaris 


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#8
Quietus

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I will be reviewing this for full approval.

 

...it may take me some time and a few bottles of wine to get through it.

 

Ultimatum


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#9
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    Duranium Lord

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Alright, no rush.

 

Lorelei Darke



#10
Quietus

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Ultimatum

 

Long read. Interesting.

 

A few questions and notes:

 

Taken from the Character creation rules-

 

 

  • Your character is not God, he is not immortal and he is not invincible.

Please remove any mention of the Gratia being "immortal" in your sub. You may interchange this with "long lived" or any other suitable expression, but we need to set a precedent since the Gratia will be a submitted and playable species. 

 

 

I'm also curious as to the intent of this planet being twice the diameter of Earth and twice the gravity. This, for me, makes little sense when we look at the Gratia who are, supposedly, very meek. Would not their bodies require greater strength to deal with this x2 gravity? This would also effect the ability of the locals to build very large, tall structures. Do you see this inconsistency here? 


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#11
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I have made the adjustments to remove those references to eternal life, as far as I have seen. Though I had hoped to counterbalance their eternal life with the fragility, seeing as the galaxy is quite violent at the moment. I understand the rules and will abide by them.

 

I'm also curious as to the intent of this planet being twice the diameter of Earth and twice the gravity. This, for me, makes little sense when we look at the Gratia who are, supposedly, very meek. Would not their bodies require greater strength to deal with this x2 gravity? This would also effect the ability of the locals to build very large, tall structures. Do you see this inconsistency here?

 

I do see it and I confess that I had not thought of the former of the two issues. I have put in a sentence to the effect that the Rakata experiments have caused the evolution of all three species to be slowed even more so than it already would be. As a species, the Gratia came from the planet, thus they were accustomed to the weight and their bodies had been built to withstand the gravity. However after the experiments their elongated life also increased their fragility. Due to their inability to adjust, their bodies internal systems are about the only thing that can handle the gravity and even then they cannot stand on the ground without the help of the Force. Perhaps on other planets they would be able to survive easier, but unless the planet has a very light gravity they will still require the Force.

 

As for the buildings, my assumption had been that the people would simply build in a different way, perhaps using more materials than on other worlds, but it would still be possible. The Gratia have not built anything larger than huts and what not. The Kaipo have build small two story cities. The Nissimus are the ones who have accomplished these feats and they are scientifically minded. Growing on the world they would know how to build correct?

 

Not trying to argue here, sorry if it comes across that way, just trying to explain the issues that you have very logically brought up.

 

Lorelei Darke



#12
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You're not being argumentative at all. You're doing exactly what I hoped you would.

 

Your ideas to balance out that inconsistency are sound. Let's get them added into this sub somewhere, hm?

 

Ultimatum


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#13
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    Duranium Lord

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Thank you. Sorry I get a bit defensive when online, had some bad experiences in the past, not on the site.

 

Anyways, I have added the following to hopefully fulfill the necessary information about balances.

 

This is under Culture a new last paragraph:

 

Because of their fragility, they rely on the Force to support their body in moving about. Their species originally had grown to be strong enough on planet, however after the experimentation they were made weaker. Their internal systems retained enough strength to continue to function in the gravity of the planet, however they could not hold up much more. It is possible that on other planets with a less sever gravity they may be able to survive with ease, however unless that planet has little to no gravity it is unlikely that they will be able to move around without the help of the Force.

 

And this is under Technology, the last sentence in the paragraph on the Nissimus:

 

They have also become adept at building structures in the intense gravity of Cordialis. They are the only species who have accomplished constructing buildings greater than two stories, going so far as to build skyscrapers in many of their cities.

 

Is that acceptable?

Lorelei Darke

 

Edit: Okay having the same problem as in the main submission, the weird bolding and letter size increase without me doing it. Just letting you know it is not intentional :)



#14
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Most acceptable.

 

Nearly through reading everything. Been going through it in small chunks. Should be finishing up in the next day or so.

 

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#15
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No problem. Take your time.

 

Lorelei Darke



#16
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Not sure what you plan on using all that history for but it checks out.

 

This sub is approved.


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