That does look a lot better, there are just 2 things that come to mind.
The first is my error, I forgot about this rule on my first read through this morning.
- The Armor Rating Extreme will require the submission to be UNIQUE. This armor rating is considered very strong and are usually dealing with unique items that should be restricted to Player Characters only.
Since this is a non unique submission we can't hold it at Extreme, but have to drop it to very high. I would recommend that you temper the language ever so slightly to accomodate the reduced rating since an extreme powered blaster would be expected to overcome the shield.
The second is in regards to your text on the limited production.
Production: Limited (One specific Clan Australis NPC unit or PCs only)
This sounds like you're saying the Unit, and any other PCs, could you alter it to specify the PC characters should be part of the unit?