Cedwyn woke up somewhere strange, he looked around and sighed deeply. It had been another heavy night of drinking. His memory from the previous night was hazy to say the least. There were glimpses of partying and ordering drinks for a group of people. He was stuck between jobs and there was little he could do to spend his time. Standing tall, he stretched his limbs and headed into the training room. From his experiences, he found the best hangover cure was not caf or some cocktail, he just needed to train and get back into the zone. Center himself once more.
He pulled himself out of the alleyway and wandered slowly back to the hotel, his head was throbbing and he couldn't really think straight. Once he was in the training room once again, he grabbed a training sword as he twirled it in his hand. His mind slowly wandered back, to his Jedi training, to the days of honing his skills. Breathing out slowly, he swung his sword in traditional Echani form. Going through the motions, letting his body get into the meditative state.
Thrown back hard onto the ground, Cedwyn felt the air knocked out of his lungs. Standing over him was his Master, Echani like himself, she was tall, strong and held herself with the confidence of someone with years of combat experience. So far, he hadn't even been able to land a single blow on her in training. Her methods were tough, strict and effective. Since he started his life as her Padawan his skills in Lightsaber combat, Echani fighting and the Force. There was a lot of focus on structure and routine, his day started with combat training and cardio training. From there, his Master had him studying in the library and practicing the Force.
Cedwyn sometimes wished he would have breaks and peace, however, whenever that was offered to him he always seemed to mess it up. Finding some way to cause trouble or get himself into awkward situations that his Master would have to save Cedwyn from. Instead, his Master challenged him to be the best Jedi Guardian. To use his skills in combat to de-escalate and save lives, to not just get into scraps but to also ensure that he ended a fight safely, calmly and with the opponent alive. Cedwyn hated the lessons drummed into him like he was some kind of toddler, he knew not to kill. He knew Jedi did not kill unless absolutely necessary.
His Master extended her hand and lifted him up onto his fight. "You dropped your guard. Slipping again Cedwyn, you keep doing that during a fight and you will die. Be better." His Master spoke with a firm, sharp tone that cut deep but he had come accustomed to the way she handled him.
"Sorry I am disappointing you Master, I will do better." Cedwyn stated with a bitterness in his tone, he was trying his best but she did not seem to care how he was struggling.
Before they could get back into the spar, his Master paused, standing tall and looking at Cedwyn. "Do you truly believe that I am disappointed in you?" Her tone was genuine concern and she tilted her head as she listened.
"Well… aren't you? I mean… I have disappointed everyone who has ever known me. My grandparents left me here because I disappointed them. I am failing to be a good Padawan and listen to what you have to say." Cedwyn stated with a deep sadness underlining his point as he felt like he was truly letting her down.
His Master dropped her training blade, walking over to him, she tilted his head to look her in the eye. "Padawan. You are young, you have heart, spirit and a fire inside you. No one is ever perfect and no teenager is ever perfect. I only expect you to have desire, desire to improve, to grow and to become the best version of yourself. Do not linger on thoughts of failing me or disappointing me. I will always care for you and protect you."
Her voice was soft and gentle in comparison to how she usually spoke with him, which brought tears to his eyes. "Your grandparents left you here, not because you failed them but because they knew they would fail you. They couldn't see past their pain, it was leading them on a darker path and you needed to be saved from that darkness. You have failed no one." She didn't hug him, but she gently ruffled his hair and nodded her head, showing the love and care she held for him.
It was the look a parent would give their child.
It was the look that haunted an older Cedwyn, with the fear of disappointment and shame his old Master would feel. He was not his best self, he would never be. But she lied to him, she didn't protect him, she left. He did the best he could alone.
That was all he could think of when he trained now. He was alone and he needed to survive.
He pulled himself out of the alleyway and wandered slowly back to the hotel, his head was throbbing and he couldn't really think straight. Once he was in the training room once again, he grabbed a training sword as he twirled it in his hand. His mind slowly wandered back, to his Jedi training, to the days of honing his skills. Breathing out slowly, he swung his sword in traditional Echani form. Going through the motions, letting his body get into the meditative state.
22 Years Ago
Thrown back hard onto the ground, Cedwyn felt the air knocked out of his lungs. Standing over him was his Master, Echani like himself, she was tall, strong and held herself with the confidence of someone with years of combat experience. So far, he hadn't even been able to land a single blow on her in training. Her methods were tough, strict and effective. Since he started his life as her Padawan his skills in Lightsaber combat, Echani fighting and the Force. There was a lot of focus on structure and routine, his day started with combat training and cardio training. From there, his Master had him studying in the library and practicing the Force.
Cedwyn sometimes wished he would have breaks and peace, however, whenever that was offered to him he always seemed to mess it up. Finding some way to cause trouble or get himself into awkward situations that his Master would have to save Cedwyn from. Instead, his Master challenged him to be the best Jedi Guardian. To use his skills in combat to de-escalate and save lives, to not just get into scraps but to also ensure that he ended a fight safely, calmly and with the opponent alive. Cedwyn hated the lessons drummed into him like he was some kind of toddler, he knew not to kill. He knew Jedi did not kill unless absolutely necessary.
His Master extended her hand and lifted him up onto his fight. "You dropped your guard. Slipping again Cedwyn, you keep doing that during a fight and you will die. Be better." His Master spoke with a firm, sharp tone that cut deep but he had come accustomed to the way she handled him.
"Sorry I am disappointing you Master, I will do better." Cedwyn stated with a bitterness in his tone, he was trying his best but she did not seem to care how he was struggling.
Before they could get back into the spar, his Master paused, standing tall and looking at Cedwyn. "Do you truly believe that I am disappointed in you?" Her tone was genuine concern and she tilted her head as she listened.
"Well… aren't you? I mean… I have disappointed everyone who has ever known me. My grandparents left me here because I disappointed them. I am failing to be a good Padawan and listen to what you have to say." Cedwyn stated with a deep sadness underlining his point as he felt like he was truly letting her down.
His Master dropped her training blade, walking over to him, she tilted his head to look her in the eye. "Padawan. You are young, you have heart, spirit and a fire inside you. No one is ever perfect and no teenager is ever perfect. I only expect you to have desire, desire to improve, to grow and to become the best version of yourself. Do not linger on thoughts of failing me or disappointing me. I will always care for you and protect you."
Her voice was soft and gentle in comparison to how she usually spoke with him, which brought tears to his eyes. "Your grandparents left you here, not because you failed them but because they knew they would fail you. They couldn't see past their pain, it was leading them on a darker path and you needed to be saved from that darkness. You have failed no one." She didn't hug him, but she gently ruffled his hair and nodded her head, showing the love and care she held for him.
It was the look a parent would give their child.
It was the look that haunted an older Cedwyn, with the fear of disappointment and shame his old Master would feel. He was not his best self, he would never be. But she lied to him, she didn't protect him, she left. He did the best he could alone.
That was all he could think of when he trained now. He was alone and he needed to survive.
