Maybe it was nerves from the upcoming battle she was soon to be in, coupled with a general feeling of being out of her league, or maybe it was the fear of losing her family after they’d only just been reunited.
Whatever the case may be, her mind kept pulling her back south and telling her to go home, that something was wrong.
She knew she was well past the age of needing comfort and reassurance from her parents, but that didn't prevent her first instincts when she was about to face the unknown, some hardship, or an upcoming conflict, to want to turn to her father with those uncertainties.
With an inhaled breath, Briana leaned forward, flicking on the old holo table.
"Hey Dad," Briana started, stepping into the holocams sensors as she smoothed out her suit. Just seeing his face helped to ease some of the tension she felt that squeezed inside her chest, but made his absence feel somehow fresh. “I'm almost to Metellos now, so I don't have a lot of time, but it's been a while since we last spoke and...I... just wanted to see how you and mom were doing. See how things are going back home," The yellow gleam from an out of frame candledroid shadowed part of his face, which usually meant he was working late. Briana could vividly recall having caught him on several such occasions as a child, waking up at all odd hours in the evening for a glass of water, or seeking comfort after a bad dream. She’d learned early on that if she couldn’t find her father in his room, to go looking for him in his office, where she’d peek through the old fashioned door that was always left half-opened, catching a glimpse of the scene inside as he worked diligently for the Queen.
“Are you busy?”
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Baros was weary. Wearied by years of secrets being laid bare. He had been able to compartmentalize for so long. Concern himself with his family, when he was with his family and then concern himself with his other pursuits in their designated time. But with Coruscant and Teyla’s discovery, his multiple lives had collided with one another. The subsequent implosion had hollowed him out.
His eyes were sunken now. Hair with more grey than previously. Perhaps even the first hints of a receding hairline could be noted.
The ding from the holocommunicator saw a little life flicker in his eyes. There was someone for whom to put a show on. When Briana’s face appeared though, Baros found it hard to hold back the tears.
His little girl, the little leader. The one who presumed a galaxy of responsibility upon her shoulders before her tenth birthday. How proud he was of her.
“Never too busy for you, Briana,” he said. He threw in a quick clearing of the throat to insure that the crack in his voice went unnoticed.
“You look well. How are you doing?”
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Perhaps it was the lighting, or perhaps it was simply his age, but her father looked older and more world-weary than she'd ever noticed.
Likely feeling the pressures of his workload, coupled alongside the careful planning needed for the upcoming dedication of the old Estate, her pragmatic mind reasoned, but her crystalline eyes sought his graying expression for hidden truths.
What else could plague the man, her very own childhood hero?
"I'm fine," Briana lied, her voice sounding a bit strained. Flying into an active war zone was never easy, and it was one thing to be responsible for herself and her own well being, but another to know she was going in as a leader, responsible for her defensive team who would be putting their faith and trust in her to get them through. It added a whole other level of anxiety she didn't know existed.
Between all the unknowns with Metellos, the events at the Gala, the vision with Brandyn, and that general uneasy feeling she couldn’t shake - Briana was anything but ‘fine’.
Not that she would bring any of this up to him. Needlessly worrying him wouldn't serve anything, and it would change the course of their conversation away from that sense of normalcy she so desperately craved. "settling into my new apartment on Coruscant and doing the Jedi thing. Should be ready to take my trials for Knighthood soon… I was hoping maybe you’d come for the ceremony with Mom, it wouldn’t be the same without you there." she inhaled, her brows creasing. “But, how are things - you?" she asked again, pressing. "Is everything going well?”
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Briana would have succeeded in anything she put her mind too. It was just her way. To learn that she was to be promoted to Jedi Knight was not a surprise. What surprised Baros was that he was no longer upset about her chosen path. He had been distancing himself from The New Way that he had built, quite literally fighting against extreme elements within it. Perhaps that had been enough to change his heart on the matter of his children and their training. Or perhaps he was just a father who was happy to see their child excel.
“You will, no doubt, impress the Masters with your acumen,” Baros said, eyes lightening for a moment, “Jedi Knight Briana Sal-Soren, has a certain ring to it. I’m proud of you, Briana.”
His brow furrowed in the mention of joining them all at the Knighthood ceremony. That was not possible. He could lie and just say he would be there. No. “Let me know when the date has been chosen,” he said. Kicking the can down the road was the only real option. This was another problem to sort out later.
“Ah. Things have been better,” he said with a rueful smile, “but they have certainly been worse. But I will be…OK. I promise. You just concentrate on your studies.”
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‘I’m proud of you, Briana.’
She’d heard those words from her father so many times throughout her life, but there was something about hearing them now that was different from just the passive adoration she’d been granted in childhood. The words carried a weight to them, that upon hearing them in that moment, affected her more than she thought they could. Despite the shadows that laid over the last year, despite going against her fathers fervent wishes - the hopes that he’d harbored for herself and her siblings - that he could still not only say those words, but believed in them, in her, and acknowledged those efforts…
A lump formed in her throat, “That means a lot to me, Dad, thanks.” her head bobbed in a nod, swallowing that pit of emotion until she regained resolute composure. Hopefully, she’d be able to live up to that title, and his faith.
Despite her father’s practiced efforts to keep his expression muted, Briana noted the tiny tells that he couldn’t control. She could recognize a skilled evasion when she saw one, she was her fathers daughter, after all. Though her brows nearly connected in a furrow, she played along, keeping that dimpled smile from so much as wavering. “Sure thing.” she murmured, her gaze shifting reluctantly as the proximity alarms started going off. “I guess that’s my cue,” a deep breath was pulled into her lungs, “Make sure you take care of yourself and Mom…” Briana mentioned, “and whatever’s going on, I’m sure you’ll figure it out - find some way or an obscure solution. You always do.” she hesitated, before venturing, “but if you need me Dad, for anything…you know?”
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“I know, Briana,” Baros offered a parting smile, “I know.”
“I love you,” he said before the image flickered and disappeared.
