Dear Diary,
I am at a loss. I'm not sure what to do. It's like being torn into two different directions....
On the one hand I have my husband Rex, who cares little about me and more for the Empire. But as King....that is his right. That is his place. While mine is....Well I don't really know that part.
I run my company, try my best to win the hearts and minds of those worlds that Rex seeks to claim as his own. Yet lately he has become more....deadly in his approach. There's no denying that it is separating us even further. Will it end up that I will have to fight him some day? I don't know...
I got a message from him not long ago. He is off in battle and unsure if he'll survive. He called me his wife and his Queen, but I'm not sure if he really knows what that means...Nor do I think that he realizes how horrible it would be if he dies.
But others have noticed the distance between Rex and I, so much so that a couple of my friends suggested staging a kidnapping in order to free me from the position that I'm in. Rumours are already being spread within the Empire and beyond about our troubled marriage. Yet I don't think that a fake kidnapping would be the answer. Rex would always search for me. I would always be on the run if I wanted to prevent him from finding me.
And now for the other hand. That is where Var is. He's the King's bodyguard and intelligence agent. Lately he had become my sparring partner and at times my confidant as well. So far I had beaten him each match, however during the last one he did something unexpected....Var kissed me. It was lovely, but at the same time, I am married to another. But Var is so attentive, and caring, nor does he flinch when I touch him. I feel a connection to him, but I shouldn't allow it. Right?
Most of those that I talked to tell me to follow my heart. But my mind keeps getting in the way and I worry about what could happen with every scenario. My mind keeps reminding me to be honourable for the sake of the Empire.
One thing is for certain though....Or maybe two things are for certain....It is nice to be wanted...And it was a very nice kiss...
I am at a loss. I'm not sure what to do. It's like being torn into two different directions....
On the one hand I have my husband Rex, who cares little about me and more for the Empire. But as King....that is his right. That is his place. While mine is....Well I don't really know that part.
I run my company, try my best to win the hearts and minds of those worlds that Rex seeks to claim as his own. Yet lately he has become more....deadly in his approach. There's no denying that it is separating us even further. Will it end up that I will have to fight him some day? I don't know...
I got a message from him not long ago. He is off in battle and unsure if he'll survive. He called me his wife and his Queen, but I'm not sure if he really knows what that means...Nor do I think that he realizes how horrible it would be if he dies.
But others have noticed the distance between Rex and I, so much so that a couple of my friends suggested staging a kidnapping in order to free me from the position that I'm in. Rumours are already being spread within the Empire and beyond about our troubled marriage. Yet I don't think that a fake kidnapping would be the answer. Rex would always search for me. I would always be on the run if I wanted to prevent him from finding me.
And now for the other hand. That is where Var is. He's the King's bodyguard and intelligence agent. Lately he had become my sparring partner and at times my confidant as well. So far I had beaten him each match, however during the last one he did something unexpected....Var kissed me. It was lovely, but at the same time, I am married to another. But Var is so attentive, and caring, nor does he flinch when I touch him. I feel a connection to him, but I shouldn't allow it. Right?
Most of those that I talked to tell me to follow my heart. But my mind keeps getting in the way and I worry about what could happen with every scenario. My mind keeps reminding me to be honourable for the sake of the Empire.
One thing is for certain though....Or maybe two things are for certain....It is nice to be wanted...And it was a very nice kiss...
