In Death, Rebirth

The whiskey was smooth as it went down. For a backwater planet, they at least had good booze.

"That cloud over your heads gunna scare away my customers."

"I'll be done soon, and takin’ it with me."

A mindless glance around... But my eyes were drawn back as my entire form tensed.

"Suri." It was a breath, hardly a whisper.

She looked so different. The scars were not surprising, considering my own face. Yet, there was something else. Where olive once lived was now ashen. Her hair dull, her demeanor lackluster. She caught my stare, but looked right past me. The gesture was a knife in my gut. I was a monster, unrecognizable to the woman I loved.

I rose slowly. Nothing felt real. My movement was careful; one inch out of line and I would wake from this dream, and she would be gone again. Yet I made it to the other side of the counter, and she was still there.

"Suri."

Louder this time, but not stronger. She turned to look at me with empty eyes. The knife in my gut twisted again. I knew what she saw- it was someone she didn't know.

"It's me, Cam."

Recognition flashed like lightning. She gasped, her hands moving to her mouth. She had known me by another face for fifteen years, and now, it was gone. I let her have a moment, grimacing all the while.

"What happened?" She asked when the shock finally wore off. I didn’t hate it, as I would have with so many others. She asked not out of morbid curiosity, but genuine concern.

"I could ask the same about you. You disappear on Csilla, and I find you in Imperial Space?"

She flinched back as though I had slapped her. Her face shifted into a hardened expression I knew all too well. The only answer I received was silence.

"Suri, please…" I started before shaking my head. "One of those monsters the cultist had got me. I know it's bad."

My hand floated mindlessly to my face. Yup, still gnarly. It moved instead to take her wrist. I raised an eyebrow when she didn't pull away.

"You know you can talk to me. Where'd you go? We thought you were taken in combat."

"Why are you here? Are you deployed? Where are the others?"

I frowned.

"Where?" She demanded.

"Suri…" A sigh full of pain left my chest. "The unit was court-martialed… but it didn't really matter. There were only a few of us left after that damn weapon got the planet. My injuries made me a lucky one.. Medic picked me up and got me evac'd before the planet exploded."

Her shoulders tensed again.

"They succeeded?"

I only nodded. The grief in her face was evident, but maybe I just knew it too well- or knew her too well. My arms extended to embrace her, but she pushed them away, rising from the stool.

"Suri, wait." I pleaded, grabbing her bicep. "Hope's not lost. Me and some of the other men who made it out, we’re mercin’. Workin' with whoever will pay us to shoot some sith. We could use our leader."

She stopped, turning to look at me with that awful glare.

"I... can't." Her words were strange- almost robotic. "I'm... different. I'm not their leader anymore."

"What the hell are you talking about? You were different after... Ayana Vullen , but it didn’t stop you from commandin’."

"It's not the same." She said, shaking her head. "I.. died, Cam. On the battlefield. An Imp picked me up, I guess, brought me back with some weird magic. But I'm not the same. I think a part of me stayed dead."

"Quit it." My voice was cold, unfamiliar to both of us.

Her brow narrowed.

"Quit what?"

"Quit with your melodramatic bantha crap." Her mouth opened, but I continued before she could start. "We all went through the wringer, Suri. Not a single one of us came out the same. Dituri watched his boy die. Rhyne lost a leg. I got half my face blown off, damn it!"

Her eyes widened as I dipped into the fury she persisted on.

"Why is your hurt any more than ours?! We sacrificed so much to save that planet, and we failed, and then we had everything left stripped from us when we got court-martialed for your damn stupidity on Ziost! And now you're just gonna abandon us, because you're different? Get the hell over yourself, Vullen."

Reaching into my pocket, I grabbed the credits and slammed them on the counter before heading to the door. The sunlight greeted me as I exited. A few steps and I stopped. Closing my eyes, I looked up to the sun, the blinding light bleeding into my lids. The warmth was a small comfort, but anything was welcome.

"You gonna stand there, or are we gonna go?"

I opened my eyes slowly, shaking my head all the while.

"That way," I said, gesturing to the spaceport.