In the quiet.
The palatial manor that had been reserved for the now Head of State of the Confederacy was glaringly empty at this late hour of the night. All staff had been dismissed for the evening. Only the creaking of old wood sounded throughout the house. The lights had all been turned off for the night. The only light that dared enter, was that of the moon through the picture windows that lined the majority of rooms.
In the moonlit dark of a grand study, facing the enormous picture window that overlooked the entire snow-clad city far below, stood the tall and slender form of Vemric Keldra, the sole inhabitant of the manor, with hands folded behind his back.
Sleep eluded the Sephi more and more of late. In the silence of solitude, his long and storied past caught up with him bit by bit. Awoke him brutally from haunted sleep every other night.
She came to him most of all.
The flame of her hair, the forest of her eyes and the sprinkles of freckles that dotted the snow of her skin, all sparkling in the bright light of the Naboo Lake County. The taunting smile she could give him as she dared him to interact with lesser men. How that wide-set mouth and striking words could draw him from behind his walls. How the gold flecks in the forest could encourage him to open his heart to others.
To show his caring nature to the rest of the Galaxy.
But as often as the light came, so too did that day. Whenever the events of that battle started to unfold - the don of that Confederate Starfighter Corps cap that morning along with Maja's order for him not to be late for dinner - that was when he shied away from the memory.
How long he had suppressed that memory - couldn't summon the courage the face its entirety again.
The Sephi looked over the city, to the moon beyond it. He'd been driven to his study again tonight, this time with the memory of the battle over Rhand and the great loss of life under his command. The Requiem itself had barely made it out. From all his battles across an entire century, that defeat had been the worst. In later years, he and Verin Oldo had spoken of it - of the men and women they had lost that day. Even now, after standing here for hours, he still couldn't get the picture of that worldship obliterating half the fleet out of his mind. And the devolvement of his life since.
He was, quite frankly, sleep-deprived, even if he didn't look it.
The more these spectres of the past visited him of late, the higher he built his walls. The colder he got towards others. His most recent disregard for the emotional wellbeing of another had come in the form of Sentapoth Findos at the disastrous Hapan wedding. It was only in solitude like this, that he reflected on heartless words such as which he spoke to the Neimoidian. How hollow those words were. How inhumane.
"Why, darling?"
Vemric barely reacted to her spectral voice by now. She had started materialising about a week ago now during his nightly solitude in front of this window.
"You know why, Maja." he said simply, not daring to turn around and face her.
"You're more than that, though. You should be by now at least." she said.
He merely clenched his jaw, the most animation his face had seen all day.
"It's been sixty years, Vemric. Sixty years of you just continuing to disregard the humanity in others. Sixty years of cowardice."
Her last words had his head snapping toward her spectral form with a snarl as anger bubbled visibly to the surface of his being. "I'm anything but a coward." he clipped.
"No, you are one. You cower away behind so many walls that you can no longer care for the pain you inflict on others. It needs to stop! Where is the man that once opened his home to orphans and beggars? Now you just waste away in your riches and loneliness." she continued to batter him with her words.
Vemric pinched the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes in anger. "Don't you have others you can haunt?" he asked without opening his eyes and avoiding her last question entirely. He had no answer. No excuse.
"I'm conjured from your mind, Vem, which means this is of your own doing. Perhaps you should stop torturing yourself."
The anger left him like a breath and the constantly rigid frame's shoulders slumped as it leaned back against the window. "Just...leave me." he said softly.
"I already did, darling. I died. Have a good night." And with that, the one that had taken his heart to her grave disappeared.
In the confines of solitude, Vemric's usually tall and regal frame slid down the window as sorrow slowly started to leak from his eyes. His hands encapsulated his head as the full hallucinated conversation played through his mind. Even while his human wife was dead as a doornail, he could still imagine her scolding him for his cold heart. Even dead, she was right. He was merely a shell of what he once was.
And he's meant to lead a nation like this?
How ironic that, with all his achievements, riches and power, he was more alone than ever before. He continued to keep everyone at arm's length. No, not even that close. And he dares to push them even further away by flinging heartless words at them - as he had done with General Findos.
The people of the Confederacy had elected an inhumane shell to be their Head of State.
And the worst part of all was that he had no idea how to allow warmth back into his soul.
The palatial manor that had been reserved for the now Head of State of the Confederacy was glaringly empty at this late hour of the night. All staff had been dismissed for the evening. Only the creaking of old wood sounded throughout the house. The lights had all been turned off for the night. The only light that dared enter, was that of the moon through the picture windows that lined the majority of rooms.
In the moonlit dark of a grand study, facing the enormous picture window that overlooked the entire snow-clad city far below, stood the tall and slender form of Vemric Keldra, the sole inhabitant of the manor, with hands folded behind his back.
Sleep eluded the Sephi more and more of late. In the silence of solitude, his long and storied past caught up with him bit by bit. Awoke him brutally from haunted sleep every other night.
She came to him most of all.
The flame of her hair, the forest of her eyes and the sprinkles of freckles that dotted the snow of her skin, all sparkling in the bright light of the Naboo Lake County. The taunting smile she could give him as she dared him to interact with lesser men. How that wide-set mouth and striking words could draw him from behind his walls. How the gold flecks in the forest could encourage him to open his heart to others.
To show his caring nature to the rest of the Galaxy.
But as often as the light came, so too did that day. Whenever the events of that battle started to unfold - the don of that Confederate Starfighter Corps cap that morning along with Maja's order for him not to be late for dinner - that was when he shied away from the memory.
How long he had suppressed that memory - couldn't summon the courage the face its entirety again.
The Sephi looked over the city, to the moon beyond it. He'd been driven to his study again tonight, this time with the memory of the battle over Rhand and the great loss of life under his command. The Requiem itself had barely made it out. From all his battles across an entire century, that defeat had been the worst. In later years, he and Verin Oldo had spoken of it - of the men and women they had lost that day. Even now, after standing here for hours, he still couldn't get the picture of that worldship obliterating half the fleet out of his mind. And the devolvement of his life since.
He was, quite frankly, sleep-deprived, even if he didn't look it.
The more these spectres of the past visited him of late, the higher he built his walls. The colder he got towards others. His most recent disregard for the emotional wellbeing of another had come in the form of Sentapoth Findos at the disastrous Hapan wedding. It was only in solitude like this, that he reflected on heartless words such as which he spoke to the Neimoidian. How hollow those words were. How inhumane.
"Why, darling?"
Vemric barely reacted to her spectral voice by now. She had started materialising about a week ago now during his nightly solitude in front of this window.
"You know why, Maja." he said simply, not daring to turn around and face her.
"You're more than that, though. You should be by now at least." she said.
He merely clenched his jaw, the most animation his face had seen all day.
"It's been sixty years, Vemric. Sixty years of you just continuing to disregard the humanity in others. Sixty years of cowardice."
Her last words had his head snapping toward her spectral form with a snarl as anger bubbled visibly to the surface of his being. "I'm anything but a coward." he clipped.
"No, you are one. You cower away behind so many walls that you can no longer care for the pain you inflict on others. It needs to stop! Where is the man that once opened his home to orphans and beggars? Now you just waste away in your riches and loneliness." she continued to batter him with her words.
Vemric pinched the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes in anger. "Don't you have others you can haunt?" he asked without opening his eyes and avoiding her last question entirely. He had no answer. No excuse.
"I'm conjured from your mind, Vem, which means this is of your own doing. Perhaps you should stop torturing yourself."
The anger left him like a breath and the constantly rigid frame's shoulders slumped as it leaned back against the window. "Just...leave me." he said softly.
"I already did, darling. I died. Have a good night." And with that, the one that had taken his heart to her grave disappeared.
In the confines of solitude, Vemric's usually tall and regal frame slid down the window as sorrow slowly started to leak from his eyes. His hands encapsulated his head as the full hallucinated conversation played through his mind. Even while his human wife was dead as a doornail, he could still imagine her scolding him for his cold heart. Even dead, she was right. He was merely a shell of what he once was.
And he's meant to lead a nation like this?
How ironic that, with all his achievements, riches and power, he was more alone than ever before. He continued to keep everyone at arm's length. No, not even that close. And he dares to push them even further away by flinging heartless words at them - as he had done with General Findos.
The people of the Confederacy had elected an inhumane shell to be their Head of State.
And the worst part of all was that he had no idea how to allow warmth back into his soul.
