I’ve begun to measure my life in significant hospital visits. Thing is, normally it’s me lying in the bed with broken limbs. In the Force, Siobhan looks so peaceful. Her heart rate is steady – but weak. Machinery monitors her non-stop. I’m not used to seeing her like this. “Well, it’s been a while, Mother,” I start lamely. “Where to begin? Silvers got in bed with the Sith. I mean, more than usual. Then flounced. Korriban’s been hit. I fought some Imps on Byss and explored a space hulk. Gonna visit Jedha. Tegs is being Tegs. Think she came by yesterday.”
Looked up to Tegs once. Then I realised how shallow she is. From soldier to leader to weak-willed trophy wife. “Addy’s getting good with her bow. Livy’s hanging out with Varosh in his lab. They miss you,” I sigh. “Oh, and thanks but no thanks for putting me in charge of the family. What were you thinking? Really?” A silly part of me waits for a voice to say ‘you only said you didn’t want to run Firemane, you said nothing about the house’.
A foolish thought. Siobhan is, of course, silent. People only magically wake up from coma in stories. “Maybe it’s because I’m the only one you had left,” I state after a moment of silence. “The fire girl who chooses to live in a cabin on an uninhabited island and can’t read anything unless it’s in braille. Last one standing. What was it again that you said: ‘We’re the last Kerrigans. The last ones who count. Whatever stands in our way, we’ll defeat it.’ Or something like that. Anyway, I’ve got meetings. And it looks like I gotta arrange Livy and Addy’s fostering. Don’t laugh.”
I reach out and take her hand. “You’ll call it childish, but I pray for you, you know. May the Lifeweb surround you. Get better, okay? Even if I’ll regret this the moment I have to chat with you again.” Suddenly I hear commotion outside.
First there’s an insistent, accented voice. “I am the Blade of the Karishzar.”
Then one that sounds like the pounding of hammers. “And you are not on the list of authorised visitors.”
“It is my responsibility to safeguard the Blessed Karishzar.”
“Take it up with Guard Command.”
“You wish to hinder me in exercising my duties?”
“I want you to stop hindering me in exercising mine.”
Alright, that’s enough. I step out and lo and behold, Karrigan’Xalda is standing there arguing with Mother’s Kar’zun guard. The Granite Guards rotate on a regular basis so that the same person is not stuck on guard duty day in, day out. This time Sergeant Kar’zakush must have drawn the short straw. “Offspring of the Destroyer,” Xalda declares. “What is the condition of the Karishzar?”
“Same as yesterday, presumably,” Kar’zakush mutters. “You know, if she were truly divine as you Daughters say, you would not have to worry about her condition.”
I cannot see Xalda’s expression, but I’m certain she’s glaring at her. Not that a Kar’zun would be real impressed. Basically, they’re huge, thinking golems. And one guarding the door wears power armour on top of that. Looks like I have to be responsible. “Alright, both of you, chill. She’s fine. Now what do you want Xalda?”
“I would see the Karishzar for myself.”
I suppress a sigh. Xalda is earnest and competent. She fought on Tephrike and went through hell before that. She’s just...one of those Xioquo who genuinely think Mother is some sort of higher being. It’s wrong, and it’s manipulative of my mothers to encourage it or, in the case of Tegs, to enable by not saying anything. “Fine, come in. Next time you want to see her, just make a call instead of coming in blasters blazing.”
I sense her puzzlement. “I am not carrying a blaster. Nor have I fired one,” she says earnestly.
“Figure of speech. Sergeant, if anyone else comes barging in, chuck them out of the window.”
“Gladly.”
“That was a joke,” then I add, “for now, anyway.” I gesture to Xalda and she follows me inside. “There, she’s fine. Happy now?” Xalda does not say anything for a while. She seems to be examining the various machines, then she feels her pulse.
“I can still sense her,” she says at last, “though her aura is faint.” Her voice is quiet, as if she half-expects lightning to strike her if she implies the Blessed Karishzar is not doing great.
“She’ll get better.” I try to sound reassuring. “Healing from the beating she took takes a while.”
“You trust the doctors?”
“What?”
“Perhaps they are delaying her recovery – or worse.”
“Xalda, they’re Firemane people. Many have been with the corp for ages.”
“And there are predators who’d rather she never wake so that they can feast upon the carcass,” she says softly, intently. “In Firemane and amongst its vassals. They have yet to locate the Sith devil who attacked our queen. Meanwhile, Semiramis weaves her webs.”
“Sure she does,” I mutter.
“So does the blue maggot.”
Takes me a moment to put two and two chuckle. I’d chuckle at the description of Xalda wasn’t so dead serious – and right. “Royal? She’s a scheming piece of shit, yeah.”
“I’ve seen many like her at the courts of the mistresses. They flock to whoever has power, and whisper honeyed words in their ear to get power, and betray anyone for thirty pieces of silver. Why the Karishzar tolerates her, I won’t ever know.”
“Oh, I know all too well.” It has a lot to do with her being great at bootlicking.
“She’s not the only one on the board. Danton has craved the crown for years. I see it in her eyes. And now she is close to her goal.”
“Look, Xalda, you want her to recover, great. Me, too. If we got a corrupt Sith lover running things, I’d shoot them myself. But this isn’t the time to start pointing daggers at people. We do that, and it’ll blind us to the real threats out to get us. Understood?”
She takes a moment. “You speak truth. I shall be vigilant.” She looks back to Siobhan. “She set us free. My mistress gave me to her as a slave. I was charged with poisoning her. Whether I lived or died was of no consequence. There were always more slaves. The Karishzar saw through my intent. But she spared me, and I broke my chains. She set us all free.”
“Yeah, she has freed a lot of people.” It is true. She’s also chained them in other ways.
“There were many among the Qadiri and the Eldorai who would’ve butchered my people without a second thought. But the Karishzar would not have it.”
I’m starting to figure out what she’s getting at. “Xalda, you and me haven’t the easiest relationship. Frankly, I think you’re a little crazy. But I wouldn’t let some jerk harm your people just cause Mother’s out of commission. Danton wouldn’t either. She’s friends with your queen, after all.” To be honest, I don’t know her well, but she doesn’t seem too bad. Just stiff, nitpicky and eager to be in charge and make sure everyone knows she is. I guess that comes with being Mother’s chief pen-pusher.
“Yes, she is.” Then she stares at me. It’s eerie. She’s the kind of person who can look at you for ages without end and it feels like her eyes are boring into your soul. “You are the Offspring of the Karishzar.”
“I prefer it when people use my name.”
“I mean no offence, but it is what you are. You were raised up by her and bear her name, as I do. Some would call us siblings. But you have her spark.”
I shrug. “I’m just a girl who can throw fireballs at people and is mildly not crap at leading a bunch of rookies to kill bad guys.”
“You always disparage yourself.” No, I don’t. “Is it because you are frightened of her shadow?”
“It’s nothing like that, okay? Save me the bullchit psychoanalysis.” That came out more heated than I wanted. “Look, I got no problem with you. But I’m my own person, not someone hiding from someone’s shadow. I’m no Fire Princess, I’m no Kerrigan Junior. Just a soldier who happens to have a big name.”
“I met the Karishzar ere I boarded the sky-ship to Tephrike. She was gravely concerned. It was...the first time I felt she was afraid. She believed you dead but wanted to do all in her power to find you regardless. If you had been returned to her as a corpse, she would’ve rained hellfire down upon the Dominion. Naught but ash would’ve remaind.”
“I’d rather she not nuke anyone for me. Not like the average prole in the Dominion had any say in what the regime did. They wouldn’t have deserved to suffer,” I mutter. I’d rather she not leave Tephrike to its fate. Before she can interject, I continue: “You know, I never thanked for what you did for me on Tephrike. That was wrong.”
“I did my duty.”
“You travelled across the galaxy and went through hell to save one girl who got herself captured. It wasn’t your war.”
“It was mine as much as yours. Don’t patronise me. I came all that way to get justice for comrades who were murdered during a parley. To fulfil my oath to the woman who set me free by retrieving or avenging her offspring. Who was captured fighting for her comrades. And when I came, I found myself facing an enemy just as heinous as the mistresses who held my people in bondage. Who would send children to be slaughtered just to buy themselves time.”
“Didn’t mean to patronise you.” Maybe it’s the vehemence of her tone, but something clicks in me. “You experienced that before, didn’t you?”
“In years past, I was one of those children. Only I survived. Many did not.”
My eyes narrow. “The monsters responsible are dead?”
“The mistress got what she deserved. I gave it to her. She screamed when I threw her into the bloodforges.” Her tone is satisfied and cold. Darkness writhes inside her. I don’t flinch from it. Her coiled anger reminds me of Rhea.
“Then justice was served,” I say. “You made your tormentors pay.”
“As you did yours.” I remember the Grand Inquisitor’s screams when the flames devoured him. When it was over, the bastard was ash. Then his goons in the camp burnt. It was justice.
“Yes. Couple down, many more to go. The guilty must burn.”
“Then we burn them all. On Tygara, on Tephrike.” So much like Rhea. “And those within Firemane who think they can get away with treason and theft while she sleeps.”
That I can do. “She’s out of commission, but our mission’s same.” This is familiar; this I understand. “Putting down scum. The mission’s what matters – nothing else. But we must be smart about it, okay? No going in half-cocked. I don’t give a chit about politics and profit, but I do care about not hurting innocent people just because someone’s not praising ‘the Karishzar’, got it?”
Her aura flickers red. “I am no simpleton berserker. I know when to strike, when to stay my hand and when to wait for the prey.” There’s an edge to her tone. I can respect that. Better than someone who bows and scrapes.
“Fair. Remember that. Y’know, I never got the memo on how this whole Daughter of the Destroyer thing works. I take it she didn’t adopt all of you?” I ask dryly.
“No. But we’re her Daughters, whether we bear her name or not. We don’t share her blood, but I don’t need to tell you how meaningless that is. We share her spirit.”
I glance at Mother again. “You do know she is gonna die one day, right? Like everyone. ‘Karishzar’ or not.” I’ve almost certainly mangled the pronunciation.
“Her body will wither away. Her spirit will endure, freed from her shell. Maybe I’ll receive guidance from her in death, maybe not. Our mission will remain the same. Protect her family, protect the Xioquo people.”
That’s...saner than I thought. Still cultist talk, but she’s not ranting about performing blood sacrifices to get her back. “Doesn’t bother you that you won’t get any of the billions of creds she’s stashed away?” It may have come out more provocative than I meant. Actually, it probably came out as exactly as I meant.
“Do you want those treasures? Surround yourself with luxuries you’ve been given rather than earned yourself.” Her tone’s challenging.
My answer’s as immediate as my tone’s firm. “No. All wealth does is corrupt if you hoard it. Give it to charity, orphanages, whatever.”
“Then we are alike in that regard. We're both her legacy. Perhaps that is our role then. To guard what she built.”
“And set it right when it goes wrong.“ Her aura radiates satisfaction. I’m so gonna regret this, but whatever. “You haven’t met my unit, have you?” she shakes her head. “Maybe some time you and your folks can show up and we can do some training together. You can show ‘em some tricks. Maybe also help out the Unchained a bit.”
She seems to think for a moment, then nods. “I would like that. I’ve met some of the Unchained. They are brave people fighting oppression.”
“Swell.” My comm beeps. “Speaking of which, duty calls. I get to meet the chief minions.” Or head lackeys. Ok, that may be a tad unfair....for a few. I wonder who’ll tell me I should put a fancy crown on my head and let them run the company ‘for me’.”
“May the spirits guide you, and give you clarity when a fog of lies clouds you.”
I still don’t like Xalda much. Still think she’s crazy. But...she’s trying. Her life’s been hell. She bled for us – for me. She deserves recognition for that. “May the Lifeweb surround you.” And then she’s gone. I look back at Mother. “Guess it’s just gonna be you now. I’ll give Addy and Livy a hug from you. I’ll keep them safe.” Then I leave.
Looked up to Tegs once. Then I realised how shallow she is. From soldier to leader to weak-willed trophy wife. “Addy’s getting good with her bow. Livy’s hanging out with Varosh in his lab. They miss you,” I sigh. “Oh, and thanks but no thanks for putting me in charge of the family. What were you thinking? Really?” A silly part of me waits for a voice to say ‘you only said you didn’t want to run Firemane, you said nothing about the house’.
A foolish thought. Siobhan is, of course, silent. People only magically wake up from coma in stories. “Maybe it’s because I’m the only one you had left,” I state after a moment of silence. “The fire girl who chooses to live in a cabin on an uninhabited island and can’t read anything unless it’s in braille. Last one standing. What was it again that you said: ‘We’re the last Kerrigans. The last ones who count. Whatever stands in our way, we’ll defeat it.’ Or something like that. Anyway, I’ve got meetings. And it looks like I gotta arrange Livy and Addy’s fostering. Don’t laugh.”
I reach out and take her hand. “You’ll call it childish, but I pray for you, you know. May the Lifeweb surround you. Get better, okay? Even if I’ll regret this the moment I have to chat with you again.” Suddenly I hear commotion outside.
First there’s an insistent, accented voice. “I am the Blade of the Karishzar.”
Then one that sounds like the pounding of hammers. “And you are not on the list of authorised visitors.”
“It is my responsibility to safeguard the Blessed Karishzar.”
“Take it up with Guard Command.”
“You wish to hinder me in exercising my duties?”
“I want you to stop hindering me in exercising mine.”
Alright, that’s enough. I step out and lo and behold, Karrigan’Xalda is standing there arguing with Mother’s Kar’zun guard. The Granite Guards rotate on a regular basis so that the same person is not stuck on guard duty day in, day out. This time Sergeant Kar’zakush must have drawn the short straw. “Offspring of the Destroyer,” Xalda declares. “What is the condition of the Karishzar?”
“Same as yesterday, presumably,” Kar’zakush mutters. “You know, if she were truly divine as you Daughters say, you would not have to worry about her condition.”
I cannot see Xalda’s expression, but I’m certain she’s glaring at her. Not that a Kar’zun would be real impressed. Basically, they’re huge, thinking golems. And one guarding the door wears power armour on top of that. Looks like I have to be responsible. “Alright, both of you, chill. She’s fine. Now what do you want Xalda?”
“I would see the Karishzar for myself.”
I suppress a sigh. Xalda is earnest and competent. She fought on Tephrike and went through hell before that. She’s just...one of those Xioquo who genuinely think Mother is some sort of higher being. It’s wrong, and it’s manipulative of my mothers to encourage it or, in the case of Tegs, to enable by not saying anything. “Fine, come in. Next time you want to see her, just make a call instead of coming in blasters blazing.”
I sense her puzzlement. “I am not carrying a blaster. Nor have I fired one,” she says earnestly.
“Figure of speech. Sergeant, if anyone else comes barging in, chuck them out of the window.”
“Gladly.”
“That was a joke,” then I add, “for now, anyway.” I gesture to Xalda and she follows me inside. “There, she’s fine. Happy now?” Xalda does not say anything for a while. She seems to be examining the various machines, then she feels her pulse.
“I can still sense her,” she says at last, “though her aura is faint.” Her voice is quiet, as if she half-expects lightning to strike her if she implies the Blessed Karishzar is not doing great.
“She’ll get better.” I try to sound reassuring. “Healing from the beating she took takes a while.”
“You trust the doctors?”
“What?”
“Perhaps they are delaying her recovery – or worse.”
“Xalda, they’re Firemane people. Many have been with the corp for ages.”
“And there are predators who’d rather she never wake so that they can feast upon the carcass,” she says softly, intently. “In Firemane and amongst its vassals. They have yet to locate the Sith devil who attacked our queen. Meanwhile, Semiramis weaves her webs.”
“Sure she does,” I mutter.
“So does the blue maggot.”
Takes me a moment to put two and two chuckle. I’d chuckle at the description of Xalda wasn’t so dead serious – and right. “Royal? She’s a scheming piece of shit, yeah.”
“I’ve seen many like her at the courts of the mistresses. They flock to whoever has power, and whisper honeyed words in their ear to get power, and betray anyone for thirty pieces of silver. Why the Karishzar tolerates her, I won’t ever know.”
“Oh, I know all too well.” It has a lot to do with her being great at bootlicking.
“She’s not the only one on the board. Danton has craved the crown for years. I see it in her eyes. And now she is close to her goal.”
“Look, Xalda, you want her to recover, great. Me, too. If we got a corrupt Sith lover running things, I’d shoot them myself. But this isn’t the time to start pointing daggers at people. We do that, and it’ll blind us to the real threats out to get us. Understood?”
She takes a moment. “You speak truth. I shall be vigilant.” She looks back to Siobhan. “She set us free. My mistress gave me to her as a slave. I was charged with poisoning her. Whether I lived or died was of no consequence. There were always more slaves. The Karishzar saw through my intent. But she spared me, and I broke my chains. She set us all free.”
“Yeah, she has freed a lot of people.” It is true. She’s also chained them in other ways.
“There were many among the Qadiri and the Eldorai who would’ve butchered my people without a second thought. But the Karishzar would not have it.”
I’m starting to figure out what she’s getting at. “Xalda, you and me haven’t the easiest relationship. Frankly, I think you’re a little crazy. But I wouldn’t let some jerk harm your people just cause Mother’s out of commission. Danton wouldn’t either. She’s friends with your queen, after all.” To be honest, I don’t know her well, but she doesn’t seem too bad. Just stiff, nitpicky and eager to be in charge and make sure everyone knows she is. I guess that comes with being Mother’s chief pen-pusher.
“Yes, she is.” Then she stares at me. It’s eerie. She’s the kind of person who can look at you for ages without end and it feels like her eyes are boring into your soul. “You are the Offspring of the Karishzar.”
“I prefer it when people use my name.”
“I mean no offence, but it is what you are. You were raised up by her and bear her name, as I do. Some would call us siblings. But you have her spark.”
I shrug. “I’m just a girl who can throw fireballs at people and is mildly not crap at leading a bunch of rookies to kill bad guys.”
“You always disparage yourself.” No, I don’t. “Is it because you are frightened of her shadow?”
“It’s nothing like that, okay? Save me the bullchit psychoanalysis.” That came out more heated than I wanted. “Look, I got no problem with you. But I’m my own person, not someone hiding from someone’s shadow. I’m no Fire Princess, I’m no Kerrigan Junior. Just a soldier who happens to have a big name.”
“I met the Karishzar ere I boarded the sky-ship to Tephrike. She was gravely concerned. It was...the first time I felt she was afraid. She believed you dead but wanted to do all in her power to find you regardless. If you had been returned to her as a corpse, she would’ve rained hellfire down upon the Dominion. Naught but ash would’ve remaind.”
“I’d rather she not nuke anyone for me. Not like the average prole in the Dominion had any say in what the regime did. They wouldn’t have deserved to suffer,” I mutter. I’d rather she not leave Tephrike to its fate. Before she can interject, I continue: “You know, I never thanked for what you did for me on Tephrike. That was wrong.”
“I did my duty.”
“You travelled across the galaxy and went through hell to save one girl who got herself captured. It wasn’t your war.”
“It was mine as much as yours. Don’t patronise me. I came all that way to get justice for comrades who were murdered during a parley. To fulfil my oath to the woman who set me free by retrieving or avenging her offspring. Who was captured fighting for her comrades. And when I came, I found myself facing an enemy just as heinous as the mistresses who held my people in bondage. Who would send children to be slaughtered just to buy themselves time.”
“Didn’t mean to patronise you.” Maybe it’s the vehemence of her tone, but something clicks in me. “You experienced that before, didn’t you?”
“In years past, I was one of those children. Only I survived. Many did not.”
My eyes narrow. “The monsters responsible are dead?”
“The mistress got what she deserved. I gave it to her. She screamed when I threw her into the bloodforges.” Her tone is satisfied and cold. Darkness writhes inside her. I don’t flinch from it. Her coiled anger reminds me of Rhea.
“Then justice was served,” I say. “You made your tormentors pay.”
“As you did yours.” I remember the Grand Inquisitor’s screams when the flames devoured him. When it was over, the bastard was ash. Then his goons in the camp burnt. It was justice.
“Yes. Couple down, many more to go. The guilty must burn.”
“Then we burn them all. On Tygara, on Tephrike.” So much like Rhea. “And those within Firemane who think they can get away with treason and theft while she sleeps.”
That I can do. “She’s out of commission, but our mission’s same.” This is familiar; this I understand. “Putting down scum. The mission’s what matters – nothing else. But we must be smart about it, okay? No going in half-cocked. I don’t give a chit about politics and profit, but I do care about not hurting innocent people just because someone’s not praising ‘the Karishzar’, got it?”
Her aura flickers red. “I am no simpleton berserker. I know when to strike, when to stay my hand and when to wait for the prey.” There’s an edge to her tone. I can respect that. Better than someone who bows and scrapes.
“Fair. Remember that. Y’know, I never got the memo on how this whole Daughter of the Destroyer thing works. I take it she didn’t adopt all of you?” I ask dryly.
“No. But we’re her Daughters, whether we bear her name or not. We don’t share her blood, but I don’t need to tell you how meaningless that is. We share her spirit.”
I glance at Mother again. “You do know she is gonna die one day, right? Like everyone. ‘Karishzar’ or not.” I’ve almost certainly mangled the pronunciation.
“Her body will wither away. Her spirit will endure, freed from her shell. Maybe I’ll receive guidance from her in death, maybe not. Our mission will remain the same. Protect her family, protect the Xioquo people.”
That’s...saner than I thought. Still cultist talk, but she’s not ranting about performing blood sacrifices to get her back. “Doesn’t bother you that you won’t get any of the billions of creds she’s stashed away?” It may have come out more provocative than I meant. Actually, it probably came out as exactly as I meant.
“Do you want those treasures? Surround yourself with luxuries you’ve been given rather than earned yourself.” Her tone’s challenging.
My answer’s as immediate as my tone’s firm. “No. All wealth does is corrupt if you hoard it. Give it to charity, orphanages, whatever.”
“Then we are alike in that regard. We're both her legacy. Perhaps that is our role then. To guard what she built.”
“And set it right when it goes wrong.“ Her aura radiates satisfaction. I’m so gonna regret this, but whatever. “You haven’t met my unit, have you?” she shakes her head. “Maybe some time you and your folks can show up and we can do some training together. You can show ‘em some tricks. Maybe also help out the Unchained a bit.”
She seems to think for a moment, then nods. “I would like that. I’ve met some of the Unchained. They are brave people fighting oppression.”
“Swell.” My comm beeps. “Speaking of which, duty calls. I get to meet the chief minions.” Or head lackeys. Ok, that may be a tad unfair....for a few. I wonder who’ll tell me I should put a fancy crown on my head and let them run the company ‘for me’.”
“May the spirits guide you, and give you clarity when a fog of lies clouds you.”
I still don’t like Xalda much. Still think she’s crazy. But...she’s trying. Her life’s been hell. She bled for us – for me. She deserves recognition for that. “May the Lifeweb surround you.” And then she’s gone. I look back at Mother. “Guess it’s just gonna be you now. I’ll give Addy and Livy a hug from you. I’ll keep them safe.” Then I leave.
