Duro Dan, Charlatan Extraordinaire, Passes Into Legend
It is with a strange mixture of fondness, confusion, and mild indigestion that the Chantin Kajidic announces the untimely passing of one of its most eccentric affiliates—Duro Dan, infamous purveyor of questionable refreshments and unmatched enthusiasm for trench coats.
Born somewhere vaguely credible in the Outer Rim, Duro Dan carved his name into the underworld not with blasters or bounties, but with charisma, creativity, and a particularly dubious line of energy drinks allegedly inspired by Hutt delicacies. Though he never rose high in the ranks, Dan was known and—dare we say—loved for his relentless optimism, his ability to reappear where least expected, and his uncanny knack for escaping security (until, tragically, he didn't).
His final performance at the Lucky 7's Starport—complete with spilled blue milk, a Mandalorian tackle, and a dramatic fall into a trash compactor—was nothing short of operatic. Some say it was an accident. Others whisper it was performance art. The truth, like many of Dan's ingredients, remains a mystery.
Beyond the schemes and scams, those who knew Dan speak of a kind soul who always made room at the table, who shared stories more than secrets, and who once sold a Hutt a crate of empty cans—and lived to laugh about it.
He is survived by a scattered family of fellow rogues, a shrine of confused loyal customers, and an unredeemed voucher for "One Free Can of Fizzin' Juri Juice."
His wake will be held on April 16th in the back room of The Womp Rat's Whisker on Nar Shaddaa. All are welcome to attend and share their stories memories of Duro Dan in a celebration of his life. Tributes of trench coats, novelty energy drinks, or forged drink permits will be accepted in his honor.
May the stars keep you, Dan. Wherever you ended up, we hope they sell blue milk in safer containers.
— The Chantin Kajidic, on behalf of Whottoomuzz the Hutt
Published in the Kajidic Courier, the Official Bulletin of the Hutt Cartel Underworld Network
