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I haven't done much of this in the past, but after what I went through on Coruscant, maybe now's as good a time as any.
I was there in the Jedi Temple when the Dark Empire sent their invasion force against the Alliance and the New Jedi Order. The Jedi Temple was my home growing up, and while it wasn't the kind of life I wanted in my later years, they took me in when my family gave me up. I don't know my parents or remember what they looked like, but I know the New Jedi Order and our differences. I know they're good people. People that I wanted to protect when we knew to expect some attack.
I'd never seen a battlefield, never been in a warzone and certainly never imagined a place that I once called home turn into one. Though it was always one-on-one, I've had the odd scrap with others. Sure, my life was in danger, but while fighting my opponent, I didn't have the worry of someone else stabbing me in the back. The battle in the Temple was insane. People were fighting everywhere, and there were times when I had to maneuver around others so I didn't harm other Jedi while trying to fend off the Imperials. Somehow, I managed to avoid landing a killing blow. I've always known to disarm my opponent, whether that means cleaving their weapon in two or taking an arm. It's always better to live without a hand than to die without a head.
Still, I see it all when I lay awake at night. The anger and the aggression, the willing violence towards the New Jedi Order. Master Sedaire didn't prepare me for this, and in fact...-He may not even know I was involved. I left Corellia to help the Jedi on Coruscant, and from there I'd received the call from the Tingel Arm Coalition; I didn't even think to stop back at the Green Devil Inn before heading to Hurikane. Now that things are settling down again, I'm thinking about the others—old Man Julius, Nouqai, Pitie and Cordelia.
...Speaking of Cordelia, she's taken the fight on Coruscant as justification to hunt to kill Darksiders. Sith and Dark Jedi. We argued about it. I can't justify taking a life, no matter my differences with others. I know that Jedi are often forced to do so, but to go looking for it is wrong, and I'll go to every length to avoid it myself. There's no justification for killing another; even if there's no other alternative, I still believe it shouldn't be looked at as a correct decision or a good outcome. Cordelia's set on this hunt of hers, so we've gone our separate ways. It was cool while it lasted. I enjoyed spending time together with her, as short as it was. We had fun, but now I'm left to focus on what's ahead of me.
Serving the people of the Outer Rim Territories should do me some good. The Outer Rim is a massive and wild space. There's no law here compared to the Core Worlds, and what authority is on the planet is usually local law enforcement, depending on the planet I visit. It's very much every man for themselves. I want to help change that and show people that when we stand together, we're all the better for it. Show this part of the Galaxy that others out there give a chit about the safety and interests of the Outer Rim. From what I've gathered, people seem to think that the Core doesn't care about what happens out here, but I'm from the Core, and as a Jedi myself, I want to show others the compassion that the New Jedi Order offered to me. Another way of being is a life of opportunity rather than being left with nothing. I may have walked away from the Order, but it wasn't out of spite, and I still appreciate all they did for me. I just wanted to handle my life on my terms.
Gods, my thoughts are sort of a mess. I'm writing as I think, but it's one thought after another. I think of Clan Terentatek, we haven't got as many people as I'd hoped but I'm happy to say the few that are standing with me are good ones. People I trust more than anyone else. Nouqai-....Or well, Falentra nowadays. Pitié too. Lúthien Tinúviel isn't someone I knew very well before and I'm still trying to figure him out a bit, but we've come to stand together and that's something more than I had before. Not a crew I was forced into but one that I chose, and they chose me. I'm grateful for the few friends that I have, and for the gifts in life that the Force has provided me.
There are people who lost their lives on Coruscant, and they can't say the same anymore. So I suppose it doesn't matter how hard things are, or whether or not I'm doing as well as I'd hoped. I'm still alive and breathing, still learning and getting better at serving others and the Force beyond the watch of the Order. As long as I keep trying to do right by others, that's all that truly matters. To treat other people how I wish my parents had treated me. To show other people that they are meaningful, that they hold potential in every day they live and breathe. I guess, after everything that's happened, that's still something I really believe is important. To be the kind of person who can give others hope to keep going, and a reason to feel good about themselves.
I haven't done much of this in the past, but after what I went through on Coruscant, maybe now's as good a time as any.
I was there in the Jedi Temple when the Dark Empire sent their invasion force against the Alliance and the New Jedi Order. The Jedi Temple was my home growing up, and while it wasn't the kind of life I wanted in my later years, they took me in when my family gave me up. I don't know my parents or remember what they looked like, but I know the New Jedi Order and our differences. I know they're good people. People that I wanted to protect when we knew to expect some attack.
I'd never seen a battlefield, never been in a warzone and certainly never imagined a place that I once called home turn into one. Though it was always one-on-one, I've had the odd scrap with others. Sure, my life was in danger, but while fighting my opponent, I didn't have the worry of someone else stabbing me in the back. The battle in the Temple was insane. People were fighting everywhere, and there were times when I had to maneuver around others so I didn't harm other Jedi while trying to fend off the Imperials. Somehow, I managed to avoid landing a killing blow. I've always known to disarm my opponent, whether that means cleaving their weapon in two or taking an arm. It's always better to live without a hand than to die without a head.
Still, I see it all when I lay awake at night. The anger and the aggression, the willing violence towards the New Jedi Order. Master Sedaire didn't prepare me for this, and in fact...-He may not even know I was involved. I left Corellia to help the Jedi on Coruscant, and from there I'd received the call from the Tingel Arm Coalition; I didn't even think to stop back at the Green Devil Inn before heading to Hurikane. Now that things are settling down again, I'm thinking about the others—old Man Julius, Nouqai, Pitie and Cordelia.
...Speaking of Cordelia, she's taken the fight on Coruscant as justification to hunt to kill Darksiders. Sith and Dark Jedi. We argued about it. I can't justify taking a life, no matter my differences with others. I know that Jedi are often forced to do so, but to go looking for it is wrong, and I'll go to every length to avoid it myself. There's no justification for killing another; even if there's no other alternative, I still believe it shouldn't be looked at as a correct decision or a good outcome. Cordelia's set on this hunt of hers, so we've gone our separate ways. It was cool while it lasted. I enjoyed spending time together with her, as short as it was. We had fun, but now I'm left to focus on what's ahead of me.
Serving the people of the Outer Rim Territories should do me some good. The Outer Rim is a massive and wild space. There's no law here compared to the Core Worlds, and what authority is on the planet is usually local law enforcement, depending on the planet I visit. It's very much every man for themselves. I want to help change that and show people that when we stand together, we're all the better for it. Show this part of the Galaxy that others out there give a chit about the safety and interests of the Outer Rim. From what I've gathered, people seem to think that the Core doesn't care about what happens out here, but I'm from the Core, and as a Jedi myself, I want to show others the compassion that the New Jedi Order offered to me. Another way of being is a life of opportunity rather than being left with nothing. I may have walked away from the Order, but it wasn't out of spite, and I still appreciate all they did for me. I just wanted to handle my life on my terms.
Gods, my thoughts are sort of a mess. I'm writing as I think, but it's one thought after another. I think of Clan Terentatek, we haven't got as many people as I'd hoped but I'm happy to say the few that are standing with me are good ones. People I trust more than anyone else. Nouqai-....Or well, Falentra nowadays. Pitié too. Lúthien Tinúviel isn't someone I knew very well before and I'm still trying to figure him out a bit, but we've come to stand together and that's something more than I had before. Not a crew I was forced into but one that I chose, and they chose me. I'm grateful for the few friends that I have, and for the gifts in life that the Force has provided me.
There are people who lost their lives on Coruscant, and they can't say the same anymore. So I suppose it doesn't matter how hard things are, or whether or not I'm doing as well as I'd hoped. I'm still alive and breathing, still learning and getting better at serving others and the Force beyond the watch of the Order. As long as I keep trying to do right by others, that's all that truly matters. To treat other people how I wish my parents had treated me. To show other people that they are meaningful, that they hold potential in every day they live and breathe. I guess, after everything that's happened, that's still something I really believe is important. To be the kind of person who can give others hope to keep going, and a reason to feel good about themselves.
