Star Wars the Review Wars
Episode I: The Phantom Menace

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Introduction

Hello fellow SWRP writer’s. If you’re here on this site then there’s a good chance that you have some love for Star Wars. And I mean who can blame you? This is a franchise that spans generations with dozens of movies, shows, comics, video games, books and novels, and the merchandising… this franchise is, arguably, the biggest and most impactful in all of pop-culture. Even from a movie-making standpoint the original Star Wars broke every single rule of filmmaking and blew everyone away when it premiered.

So to stave off the anxiety of the world slowly eating away at my soul, I’m going to rediscover my love for this franchise by reviewing all nine movies of the Skywalker Saga. Yep, all nine. Even those ones, you know the ones. But we still have six other movies to through first. I was gonna do this by release order but… I’m a grown up and you aren’t my mom, so we’re staring with Episode I.

Two final notes before getting into this: first is the criteria I shall be judging each of these movies on. Simply it follows thusly: Story, Characters, Settings, How Star Wars-y It Feels. Secondly this is all my opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously at all.

Always a fun risk as a Star Wars fan to voice your thoughts on these movies, we’re such a fun loving fandom after all. But seeing as this is me half-joking, it should be fine! So yea. Let’s get into it.
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I
Story

Episode I has the weakest story of the Prequels. It has the burden of being not just the first episode of a new trilogy but of the Skywalker Saga. There is lore and backstory established in the Original Trilogy and George isn't going to disrespect it. So he has to somehow honor it while also writing something “new” and man… his poor writing skills show here more than anywhere else.

The story is trying to be a political thriller almost, with the main adventure being about getting the Queen off Naboo, some political stuff on Coruscant, and then back to Naboo for the final fight. There is some redeemable stuff here though. Anakin being a slave isn't a bad idea, I think it allows us to feel sympathy for the character right away.

I also enjoy the Queen double fake out. Honestly even as an adult I cannot tell the difference between the two Padme’s; like seriously they are clones in that movie. I think having the film introduce more political stuff into Star Wars is cool and expands upon the brief mention we go of it on the Death Star in the original film.

But yea that’s it. Story sucks honestly.
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II
Characters

So let’s get one thing addressed first: I do not endorse the bullying Jake Loyd suffered and it is not his fault. George can’t write, blame him.

That out of the way… little Annie… I hate this character. He’s so insufferable. The only good thing he does is the pod-race, which is my favorite sequence of the film. Other than that god he’s just annoying. “Now this is pod-racing!” No… I honestly wish this movie started with him as a teenager or pre-teen instead of a kid. I think it would’ve helped having a slightly older child actor maybe? I can’t pinpoint what would fix this character.

Obi-Wan is fine. I like that we see how he’s blindly following the Jedi dogma while Qui-Gon is constantly telling him to knock it off. Honestly he’s more of a supporting character in this film and his only character development occurs at the end when he takes on the role of Anakin’s master. Other than that, he’s fine.

Padme is fine. Like I said I honestly get the real Queen and the fake Queen constantly mixed up, especially in the latter half AFTER the reveal. Yea I’m just dumb, what can I say? So yea she’s just fine, good body double for assassination attempts for sure.

Yoda and the Jedi Council all suck. I’ll get more into it by Episode III but for now we get to see that the council is extremely dogmatic and narrow minded, something that in no will comeback to haunt them.

Palpatine is great. He plays the manipulative politician so well that as a little kid I had no idea he was the Sith Lord we saw periodically throughout the film. No complaints here.

Now for the best character: Qui-Gon. This dude is the pinnacle of what a Jedi should be. He doesn’t care about the Council. He doesn’t care about the opinions of his peers. He only cares about embracing the Living Force and serving the people. Every other line he speaks is wisdom that puts Yoda to shame and I’m convinced Anakin never would’ve fallen if this guy trained him. RIP Qui-Gon.

Oh yea Maul is here. He has like two lines of dialogue but here’s here. Oh now he’s “dead.” Jar-Jar exists. Again nothing against the actor… but yea I’m not talking about that.
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III
Settings

So what planets do we got? Tatooine again! Everyone’s “favorite” desert planet. Honestly I do like Tatooine and it is actually my favorite planet. But I get it, it’s Tatooine.

Naboo is underrated honestly. I really like the architecture of the city and I wish the swamp was used more. Despite my thalassophobia I love under water cities, so despite hating the gunguns it’s still cool seeing their under water bubble city.

Finally Coruscant and… I mean yea it’s a big city. We only get to see a few locations, namely the Jedi Temple and the Senate Chamber. Honestly though we don’t spend enough time exploring the city to make any real connections to it beyond those few key locations we do visit.
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IV
Star Wars-y-ness

So how much Star Wars does Episode I feel like? Well if we ignore the massive lore change to the Force, which honestly it seems like everyone including George himself has, it’s pretty Star Wars-y.

We got Duel of Fates which is one of the best lightsaber duels of the franchise arguably. We got the pod-race. We got Jabba the Hutt.

Again this movie does suffer by being the first film of an established franchise. George already renamed the Original Trilogy as Episodes IV through VI, there was no going back. But as far as feeling like Star Wars, it does.

I’ve seen a lot of people online and in real life who say that the opening of this movie, from the opening crawl through the entire sequence on the Trade Federation command ship, doesn’t feel like Star Wars. They’ll compare it to A New Hope or Empire, how they start with energy and without any restrictions, whereas Phantom opens with a ship requesting to land.

How convenient they forget Return of the Jedi opening with the slowest introduction of the series.

Episode I is the weakest in story and possibly characters, but it does feel like Star Wars and I don’t think anyone can deny that. And if they do… well okay, but I mean I think you’re wrong.
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V
Rating and Conclusion

Midway through writing this I decided to do a tier list. So yea. We got: Star Wars, A, B, C, D, and Rey.

I’m gonna put Phantom Menace in the D tier. The only two sequences in this movie I actually enjoy watching are the pod-race and the Duel of Fates. Beyond that, I really don’t care for this movie. It isn’t terrible and it definitely isn’t the worst of the Saga.

It is enjoyable and it isn’t a slog to watch, and it does have that Star Wars feeling. But it’s poor story and character development doesn’t make up for the strengths it does have.