Trigger Warning: Survivors guilt, loss of love, brief mention of death wish
The library of the Coruscant temple was absolutely massive. Massive and beautiful in every sense of the words. Azurine had begun spending more and more nights just waundering through the archives and books when she'd found herself unable to sleep. It reminded her of a time long before the first Empire had set foot on her homeworld of Iridonia. Back when she was a young child and her mother would take her on frequent trips to the library of Malidris. Before her life had been so quickly splintered.
This night, though, she had decided to find out just how many records might be around from her time, or maybe further back. She didn't hold out too much hope considering the many different times these archives had been purged and ransacked, but it would be a lovely surprise if she found something. It's not as though she was able to sleep at the moment, so she might as well make a little challenge for herself.
She was scanning through archive for hours, late into the night even, compiling a list for herself that she could look at more in depth later. From what she saw, there didn't seem to be any remains of pre first Empire records except for a couple of documents detailing trade routes. She really was a lost living history book, then. A relic from a time that had long since passed without much of a trace left behind.
Maybe I should make a holocron someday and fill it with my accounts of the war. At least then there would be documentation, she thought, running her hands through her raven black toned hair.
Finally, Azzie pulled something from the shelf that looked more promising, letting the holo image spring to life, and her amethyst eyes scanned over it. It looked like an image of a class with younglings, no older than nine or ten. She almost glossed over it in favor of reading that little notes that went with it, but she stopped when something in it caught her attention. Her amethyst eyes narrowed, and she held it closer. In the corner near a window was a young Pantoran boy who didn't quite seem to be paying attention. He was staring out the window with an open book in his lap. It was the markings that resembled sun rays across his cheeks that made her eyes fly wide.
"That can't be-"
"Me? It is. I remember when it was recorded, too," the spirit of her former master shimmered into view beside her as he spoke, a fondness brushed across his expression.
"Look at you! You were so adorable, Kynn!"
"I was trouble. In fact, I was late that day."
Azzie stared at the ghost beside her and shook her head, "I don't believe that for a second."
"It's true. I tended to be a bit nosey, and I made myself late getting stuck in my own world."
She turned to look him in the eyes. Her own meeting the beautiful starlight silver of his held a playful skepticism to them, "You call that trouble? After having to deal with me?"
He looked as though he might speak a rebuttle but stopped himself, matching her playful grin, "Alright, you've made your point."
The soft laughter that echoed from the both of them felt distant, almost heavy in a way, fading into a silence that would last much to long. Azzie's smile slowly faded, and her gaze fixated on the holoimage while the pain in her soul burned through any chance of peace she had for the remainder of the evening. "I miss you. I still wish I'd been with you in the end..."
"You're alive, and that's what matters," Kynn moved to rest a hand on her shoulder when his words were met with more deafening silence, but she quickly flinched away.
"Am I? Because I feel more like a walking corpse half the time."
"Azzie-"
"I know, I know! It'll get easier. I keep hearing that," her voice was raised at first, trailing off at the end as the silent tears trailed down her cheeks. Slowly, she stood from the chair, putting the record back in the spot she'd pulled it from. She didn't think she could stay here right now, not when her careful mask was slipping. The distorted bond that still remained between them that bound his soul away from eternity and her own stuck in a halfway state of madness, teetering on the edge, left her wondering how much longer she could survive this. Maybe she didn't want to ... but that was a thought she'd rather bury into the depths of her mind.
I made a promise. Tomorrow is a new day, just try again tomorrow.
