Feedback 1,000 Posts Feedback - Inanna Yomin

[Inanna Harth]

^ Here's a lineup of some of the art I used for Inanna over the years. Was a pain to find the files, but hey, it's kinda cool to see the visual progression of the character/the different guises she's assumed.

Inanna Hoole/Yomin/soon to be Harth was my first female character on Chaos. She's so old that I had to change parts of her original backstory due to recent rule changes.

I had a really rough time when I first launched her back in 2020. Some of it was me being a new writer who was still trying to navigate roleplaying, and some of it was just people being shitty. In the end I shelved her because the negative experiences outweighed the good and had soured my enjoyment of writing her. I still felt the need to give my girl a dignified sendoff, so I allowed her to have a "fairytale ending" in which she accomplished her dreams, settled down to a peaceful life with a husband and kids, and all that crap.

Then the Maw conquered her homeworld, and suddenly I had a bunch of new story possibilities for her - although it required me to destroy that fairytale ending I had set her up with. Good thing tragedy just gives me more opportunity for drama. So I killed off her family and turned her into a diplomatic representative of her species, struggling to help surviving refugees find a new home.

To my surprise and delight, it's been one of my favorite stories to write on Chaos. A lot of this success is because I have great writing partners who bring out the best aspects of her character and are also cool people OOC. (I'm looking at you two, Cato Harth and Alicio Organa ) But it's also because I have a better grasp of her identity, which I don't think I had back in 2020. There's still a clear evolution from who she was then up to now, but... I dunno. She's more likeable than she was then, less flawed and more mature - and more fun to write.

But I digress. If you have written with Inanna or have read her posts, please give me your thoughts. I welcome criticism, praise, and family recipes if you have them.

 

[Cato Harth]

I like : )

I make more detailed feedback tomorrow

 

[Valery Noble]

I haven't read a huge amount of her posts, but one thing that stands out to me is that she's not heavily tied to any group/faction, but you've still developed a very fun story for her. The relationships she has formed with the people she tends to interact with more are strong and rich in terms of history, and that's something I always love quite a lot. Good stories are great, but good stories with interesting relationships/dynamics with other characters are the best.

I don't really have many critiques to offer because you seem to really know what you want with her, and have everything set up to make it happen with fun and interesting twists (like the sudden baby at the door). Maybe expanding the list of relationships is one thing? Having her develop stories with more people outside her close inner circle. But that entirely depends on what you enjoy and prefer — nothing wrong with a solid character you mostly write with specific people either!

 

[Lief]

Glad I helped her that one time <3

 

[Cato Harth]

Ok real feedback time.

It should come as no surprise that I like writing with Inanna a lot, given the relationship we've developed between her and Cato. I'd been looking for a reason to really write this character for a long time, and Inanna gave much more purpose to him that I could've hoped for. Funny, considering it all spiraled out of what was a half-joke at best. I know we've already talked about it in the past so I won't re-hash too many of those same comments, but its safe to say one of the unlikeliest of romances has grown into something very engaging and worth exploring.

I think something about Inanna that works very well is how you have played into her age. She has a lot of history behind her that I think comes through in your writing, and in turn making her feel like a fleshed out character even when the finer details of her background aren't all explicitly touched on. She's over two-hundred years old, but at the same time, comes from a species where that makes her relatively young. I feel like you strike the balance quite nicely. You've taken advantage of the story beats made available to you, whether it's the Maw persecution of the Shi'ido turning her into an ambassador, or Cato's surprise daughter, and ran with it; By extension fleshing her out further, as well as making her feel very dynamic and ingrained in the world around her.

I suppose if I were to offer a critique (if you can even really call it that), it would akin to what Valery said. It'd be cool to see Inanna interact with more people and grow her list of relationships. Obviously part of the struggle there comes from getting the right people, which can't exactly be blamed on you, and I also know firsthand that our current situation doesn't exactly leave a lot of room for expanding those opportunities. But maybe as Cato and Inanna move away from Nar Shaddaa and into the next part of their lives, we can find some new avenues to explore for them both.

Think that's about it from me. At the end of the day you seem to know what you're doing with the character, so whatever form that takes going forward, I'm confident you'll make it work.