Public 3:10 to McYoda's

[Julius Sedaire]

Music
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It wasn't often that Julius went out to eat. But every once in a while the Green Jedi had a hankering for something other than the same three bachelor meals in his freezer. And lets be honest, even the most hermit-like stages of Julius' life still put him as an extrovert with quite a talkative streak. Pulling into the parking lot, he cursed trying to find a berth for his speeder, nearly running into a sandcrawler backing out of it's spot and cursing out the drivers in perfect Jawa, which drew their ire. After a brief moment of catching his breath, the man slid off his speeder bike and walked into what could only be described as pure Chaos.

For some reason, a wookie was being attacked by ewoks climbing over him, trying to gnaw at his ankles while one shoved a fry up the larger beasts' nose. A hutt behind the counter was sassing the elderly Ithorian ordering, who was actually raising it's voice in return. A lizard monkey in back screamed, flinging hot oil and fries past the counter into the waiting crowd of customers and set off a brawl between an Iridonian and a Rodian. As soon as his feet crossed the threshold, he felt an almost electric tingling sensation as he bumped into a blonde walking out, spilling her near boiling caff on his new robes.

With a curse and a blind dodge that turned into a push at the blonde (none other than Romi Jade ), Julius had been sucked into the madness occurring at his favorite fast food joint.

Spoiler: What's Happening

A McYoda's is the site of an unknown phenomenon. Everyone there seems to be fighting in the most playful, cartoonish ways possible. We're talking Looney Tunes style. Blasters and deadly force of the usual nature are forgotten. Rewards for participation will be given post-Factory mortarium. Highly encourage to pick several zany outcomes and use an RNG or d6 or the like to make the randomness even more. Tell your friends.

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[Desric Terassi]

Galen was not a fast-food kind of guy, but sometimes you just needed a quick bite before an important meeting.

All the worse, then, when he suddenly found himself the target of an insane lizard-monkey, the creature soaking his shirt with searing hot oil. Within a moment or two, a grunt of pain left his lips and his eyes dilated with barely-contained fury. "Feth. I'll skin you alive you mangy mutt!"

Not the best choice of wording, perhaps, as a nearby Wookie took offence and flung him through one of the establishment's windows.

That should have been the end of it, or so the furball thought - not so, for soon enough Galen came leaping through the recently created man-shaped hole in the facade, grabbed a cheap plastic chair from a nearby table, and charged the Wookie as if taking a battering ram to a gate.

His new shirt was now not only soiled, but also lacerated, and so his rage knew no bounds.​

Julius Sedaire | Romi Jade​

 

[Stone Gra'tua]

Stone pushed his way through the crowd gathering outside the local McYodas, having no idea what the kriffing commotion was until he got close. Something was happening alright, and sensible folk would have avoided the place, but he was old, tired, and hungry, and the flask of tihaar he'd emptied on the way here had only fueled his appetite for some cheap greasy deliciousness. He walked in the door to a wookiee yeeting some poor fellow out through a window. Stone assumed that would be the end of it, but the fellow returned and took issue with the wook, a poor choice in Stone's opinion, but he didn't voice it.

Before him was an Ithorian arguing with a Hutt. A kriffing Hutt serving in a place that actually handled food. Some chakaar upstairs had a warped sense of humour, but given what else was going on in this particular eatery, Stone couldn't say the Hutt server was the wierdest osik going on here today. Impatient, and knowing the Ithorian was going to take all day to lose his temper, the armoured Mando pushed him rudely aside and moved past those with oil burns and everyone else who'd been fast enough to dodge, to the front of the line. There were grumbles, but no one raised their voice to a Mandalorian for such things if they wished to remain unblasted. Stone faced down the bloated slug from behind a T-visor.

"Nerf burger and hubba chips. No drink. No extra sauces. I know the kriffing McIcecream machine is McBroken because it's always kriffing McBroken in this McRundown McDoghouse of a McPlace. Now go get my food before I blast some McHoles all over your shabla McRestaraunt!" He thumped the counter once for emphasis, then swiped his hand across the cred scanner to pay for the meal.

It was at that moment as the Hutt turned away to obey, that someone or something bumped roughly into his back.....

Spoiler

D6 roll on next post
1 - It's the Wookiee from before
2 - It's an ancient horny teenage Taung in tight pants trying to hide his excitement
3 - It's Jar Jar
4 - It's an Ewok
5 - It's several Ewoks acting in concert
6 - Stone is drunker than he thought, and no one actually bumped him, he fell over

 

[Cali Ziiva]

A loud boom echoed in the confined space from Stone Gra'tua hitting the counter. Cali squeaked as she instinctively tried to straighten up resulting in hitting her head on the underside of the counter. "Oww..." The pink creature pulled herself out from under the counter as she rubbed her ruffled, pink hair. Through squinted eyes, the Zeltron stared at the Mandalorian suddenly distracted by something. "McWhat?"

"The ice cream machine is spinning gold again!" a Rodian cried to Cali's right.

"Huh?" Cali blinked as she got to her feet. Like, first off, the ice cream dispenser never worked. Second, it didn't spin ice cream out. Third, why was someone complaining it was making gold?

Then she blinked again. Her eyes fell to the ceiling, then rose back to the floor. "Ehhhh?" Somehow gravity had reversed itself just for the pink woman and she found herself standing on the ceiling upside down. "Wow, like, I must have hit my head harder than I thought."

With a sigh, the Zeltron took a step forward to get to the ice cream machine before the gold spilled everywhere. The ceiling tile under foot immediately crumpled and the pink thing vanished from sight into the plenum. A grunt followed as Cali ended up laying atop some tile support beams with her bright eyes giving a look around the usually empty region.

"Hiya!"

Cali was pretty sure she hadn't said anything, so why had she heard her voice?

"Hiya!"

The Pink One turned to look to one side to find a Blue Cali staring back at her.

"Hiya!"

She turned her head further to the side to find a Green One there too.

"Hiya!"

"Hiya!"​

​

"Hiya!"​

​

"Hiya!"​

​

Oh, Xoxo was going to flip.

 

[Romi Jade]

Romi had a thing for shakes -- McYoda's had the best.

Today though, she was getting something that had more of a boost. Last few days hadn't produced the best sleep...

She sauntered up to the counter with her ticket in display, exchanging her number for her caff. However, chaos started to ensue while she was searching for exact change -- it had to be exact change. "Oh one sec I might hav--" two patrons started going at it after fries and oil were launched from one end of the spot to the next. "--Was that a lizard monkey?"

She jabbed her finger motioning for the cashier to not even answer, then threw her change. Peacekeeper was not on her list of things to do at this point, she just wanted to hit the bed. Sp, she cut around the brawl and tried to slink through the entrance.

As soon as his feet crossed the threshold, he felt an almost electric tingling sensation as he bumped into a blonde walking out, spilling her near boiling caff on his new robes.

Oope!

She cursed at the burning sensation filling her hands, and the sudden push she got in return "Hey Jerk! Watch it!" before she could really realize who she'd bee fussing at, the blonde returned her own push.

Romi had been sucked into the madness occurring at her favorite fast food joint.

Julius Sedaire

 

[Steve the Ultranaught]

Steve had been enjoying a leave of absence from his duties as an Ultranaught. (Which had mostly consisted of some rather boring guard duty for the past few months anyways.) On this particular night, he was dressed in a semi-casual grey camo patterned uniform, and a speeder bike helmet. He was heading back to the hotel he had been staying at, when he noticed a rather large commotion inside a grungy, run-down looking dive of a restaurant with a light-up sign that read “M od ‘s”. It seemed to have had a few letters missing.

Curious about the activity (and somewhat hungry), Steve parked the speeder bike he had rented in the parking lot, and walked inside the decaying building. He regretted it almost instantly. He was greeted by the sight of a pair of what looked like Jedi covered in stimcaff pushing and shoving each other, an extremely angry Mandalorian Warrior screaming death threats at the top of his lungs at the cashier, a seemingly drunk Zeltron talking to people who didn’t exist, and a massive brawl between a Human, a Wookiee, and a horde of Ewoks.

A stray disc-shaped food item flew across the room, landing right on the visor of Steve’s speeder bike helmet, covering it in an odd, purple sauce which Steve was not familiar with. Unable to see where he was going, he tripped over an Ewok, and fell on the ground, which smelled like Bantha Vomit. After getting up and removing his helmet, Steve found himself face to face with:

Spoiler

D6 roll on next post:
1. The Angry Mando
2. One of the Jedi who spilled stimcaff onto themselves
3. Darph Nader
4. The Manager Of The Restaurant
5. The Monkey-Lizard
6. Steve’s Commanding Officer

 

[Stone Gra'tua]

Spoiler

Dice Result : 5 (Several Ewoks acting in concert)
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Half-falling, but catching himself on the edge of the counter with one hand as he turned around, keeping his feet, though the room swam in a drunken haze. Tunnel vision coming on, most of his peripheral vision blurred, but directly before him was a large cloaked figure as tall as he was. The figure appeared to be Ortolan at first glance, until Stone heard Ewok swearing coming from under the robe. He didn't speak the language, but he recognized the curse words.

Teebo : Kneesa, stop wriggling around, I almost fell off!

Kneesa : You've been drinking too much ewok berry juice mister, you are way too heavy. Next time i'm going on top.

Logray : Would you two shut the kriff up, i'm doing all the work down here!

Stone heard three distinct voices, and though the Ortolan mask was a fine disguise, the jig was up. The 'Ortolan' was three ewoks doing the old one on the shoulders of another routine, and though impressed at the gymnastic effort of the furry little chakaare, he was drunk, tired, and hungry, and didn't like being bumped. "What smells like Dulok around here?" Stone said, looking around as if the Ortolan that wasnt an Ortolan wasn't there. From under the cloak, indignant ewok voices cried out.

Teebo : The kriff did he just say?

Kneesa : Kriffing Dulok, eww!

Logray : Sit still for kriff's sake my back isn't up to this abuse!

The Ortolan wobbled noticeably from side to side, as if blown by a swift wind. A furred hand shot out of the cloak at one point to pull it tighter around the faux-Ortolan form, though Stone doubted anyone else saw it. Then the whole mess fell over and three furballs, very angry, leapt at Stone, taking him down to the ground, clawing at his armour, scratching at the beskar, trying to get at the meat inside. Instead of getting dinner, now it appeared the Mereel Mando was about to become dinner.

 

[Desric Terassi]

The Wookie had not taken him seriously. Why would a giant such as he worry about a moderately muscular human in a suit?

That was his mistake, for the chair struck like the battering ram whose purpose it imitated, plastic cracking and tearing as Galen shunted the Wookie over the counter, its body clipping the lizard-monkey before in a truly satisfying way. So satisfying, in fact, that the frigid bureaucrat could not help but roar in victory, the shattered plastic chair held aloft like the sword of a victorious conqueror.

Alas, his triumph was cut short by a suckerpunch from a towering Talz - the other party of a mutual life debt with the Wookie from earlier, though that remained unknown to Galen. Especially seeing as he was too busy being propelled backwards into another being while bleeding from the nose.

Whatever drug-related issues the pink-haired woman was dealing with, it seemed likely that an incoming body would take precedence.​

Cali Ziiva​

 

[Cali Ziiva]

The ceiling gave way and the Pink One was summarily dropped back to the floor. A pink hand rubbed her pink head as Cali moaned for a moment. Just long enough for the rest of the ceiling to cave in and drop a metric Cute ton of Zeltron plushies behind the counter making it quite difficult to move. It only took a second before the Real Cutey was buried in plush accommodations.

A moment later the very same Adorableness popped her head up from beneath the sea of plushies with her hands in the air. "After ten thousand nano-seconds, I'm free!" Probably would sound cooler if that'd been "years" instead of nano-seconds, but who had time to wait for that?

That's when her bright eyes widened as one Desric Terassi was sent reeling backward into the counter. Cali stood just behind and to the left of the man then. She leaned forward with her wide eyes staring at the big Talz then over to the Wookie on her side of the counter that was flailing among the cuteness horde, and then at last to Galen himself. "Uh, 'cuse you. Could you, uh, widen your stance a bit? Like, just spread your feet out a bit more to either side? Just an inch."

"For the High Crime of Anti-Cute -- look at this guy's nose! -- I hereby sentence you," Cali point at the Talz, "to EJECTION!" Her finger stabbed into a button on the register. A panel along the front of the counter snapped aside and out sprung a giant boxing glove on a mechanical arm. It shot out toward the Talz to give them a mega-ultra-supreme uppercut that'd knock them straight out of the McGiggles.

"So, come here often?" the Zeltron asked Galen.

 

[Steve the Ultranaught]

Dice Result: 3 (Darph Nader)

“GwarphMarphblaaaa!” shouted the strange thing wearing a thick, echoey welding mask that Steve found himself facing. “Err… Are you trying to say something, because-“ But before Steve could finish his sentence, the strange creature tackled him back to the floor, and began repeatedly bonking him on the head with an extremely old looking flashlight.

Steve managed to wrestle the ancient looking piece of hardware from his assailant’s hands, and threw it across the diner. The masked creature got to its feet, and started running towards its appliance. However, halfway there, the creature tripped over its own cape and landed mask-first into a group of three Ewoks, who by this point were seemingly trying to eat the angry Mandalorian.

Steve got up, and this time wasted no time trying to escape the restaurant. However, during his brawl with the masked creature, he had failed to notice a monkey-lizard jumping on top of a light fixture, who by this point had caused it to colapse. The light fixture landed directly in front of the main exit. It seemed that Steve was going to have to fight the creature in order to escape.

 

[Desric Terassi]

Confused and bloodied as he was, Galen still had the sense to clear the way as requested - allowing the Pink One to knock out the Talz with some sort of punching gun. If only he'd had that instead of the improvised chair-cum-battering ram, a piece of which was stuck in jacket.

Grabbing a hold of his broken nose, he wrenched it back into place and gave the stranger a feral smile.

"No. Definitely not." He might have to reconsider in the future - this was proving to be excellent stress relief.

As if to accentuate the point, the Wookie came bounding over the desk, his (?) anger at the fate of his companion evident. Clearly, he took the life debt very seriously, no, his furious cry made it clear that there was something more. A Wookie and a Talz, not the strangest pairing out there, really.

Unfortunately, his Shyriiwook left much to be desired, as did the attempt at de-escalation that relied on it.

"Your mother is a blueberry. Eat shrimp. Fur-monkey grease!"

Having misunderstood his intent, the gravely offended grabbed ahold of an oversized plastic lightsaber, tearing it from the grasp of the massive Yoda sculpture flanking a bathroom. Searching for a weapon of his own, Kal smacked the counter, pulling a giant foam hand from a hidden panel.

"Kark. How do you make this work?" No time for second tries - within seconds foam hand rose to meet faux lightsaber.​

Cali Ziiva​

 

[Cali Ziiva]

Cali blinked as the Big Man with the Nose played Doctor in a not so Zeltron way. Like, she could feel that and it wasn't even her nose.

As for the smile... Well, her Xoxo had been an apprentice to a Dark Lord of the Sith, so feral wasn't as upsetting as setting a broken nose. Usually people didn't get broken noses in the galaxy. They got shot. Or stabbed. Or shot and stabbed. Sometimes blown up. But, yeah, not a whole lot of variety. Broken noses? No one had time for those ordinarily.

"Me either," Cali chirped all the same. Her eyes slid over to the ice cream machine. "I was here to perform a miracle, I guess I succeeded, but maybe I broke the laws of the universe of something. Like, you can't have a sane world and a functional McYoda ice cream machine." It was still producing gold too. Poor Rodian was just covered in it now.

Then Big Wook rose up from the sea of cuteness it had been mired in. Galen had some strong words for the enraged, tall, furry being too. Cali was impressed -- like the guy must have seriously insulted him. "Was that an ancient curse?" Because that was one upset Wook.

"Hey," Cali turned back to stare at said upset beastie man, "you can't take that!" Vandalism? Totally uncalled for!

Galen then sought his own toy and produced the Finger of Telling. Cali's head snapped to the side to stare at him as he seemed displeased with the choice of Weapon of the Ancients he'd conjured. Had he been expecting the Glove of Sense Granting? Well that wasn't a counter-slap, that was a register button punch!

The Zeltron set a plushie of herself upon the counter as the Wookie advanced. With one hand she kept it steady, and with the other she gave it a flick to knock it off the counter in the direction of Big and Hairy. Like, two feet in his general direction. It bounced on the squeaky clean floor -- the McRoomba had been by recently -- before it was ruthlessly trampled under foot by the Wookie.

That's when the offending foot slipped out from under the hairy giant. With a roar it toppled forward straight for Galen mighty Lightsaber of Plastic in hand, ready to take his enemy with him into the Nether realm...!

Suddenly, everything went silent. Except for the throaty grunt of perplexion as Galen's Foamy Finger found its way lodged in the Wookie's nose.

Galen Arterius