Feedback 500 Posts Feedback+Criticism Thread!

[Darth Malum of House Marr]

Heyo, so I finally made it to 500 posts, in full honesty probably should have reached this milestone much earlier...

...But hey better later than never, amiright?

So to all the people who have written with Malum, and even to the people who haven't and either want too or just simply have read what I have written for him, here's your time to roast me for all I am worth.

Jks (mostly), if anyone does take the time to respond to this thread, I will be immensely grateful, but please do not feel like you need to put a filter on for my benefit, I believe fundamentally you can only become a better writer through criticism from others, so while I'll be overjoyed to hear about things you think I have done well, I will be equally overjoyed to hear about places where you think I need to improve.

Excited to hear y'alls thoughts.

 

[Kahlil Noble]

You write a lot.

Like a lot a lot. Like sometimes too much a lot. I've noticed it in a couple of your posts where you'll type something you've already typed out in a different way as if it's filler for the post itself. I'm always a big advocate of less is more, but asides from the repetition your posts themselves at least aren't filled with actual filler.

I've also messaged you about it prior for one instance, but I figure it's also worth saying now given you've been churning out posts like mad. Don't over promise. There's nothing that can bum another writer out more than them not getting responses someone is continually promising to give, or someone who burns themselves out by getting too much for them to handle. You seem to be doing fine for now, but it's good to keep in mind how big of a plate you have.

 

[Valery Noble]

We haven't really written yet, but I'll definitely mirror the bit about pacing yourself, because it sometimes feels like you push yourself pretty hard. Find a rhythm that works for you without stressing you out, and no matter how many posts you get done, you'll feel good about it.

On a positive note, you're a very pleasant person to talk to and meme around with. Makes it easy to plan stories or discuss them, and makes people open to wanting to do bigger stories too. The vibes are good, and that's more important than just about anything else.

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

I am a Malum enjoyer.

For a Sith, he's very human, and definitely has his earnest and caring moments - and you've played those as both strengths and weaknesses, which I really like.

I enjoyed his dance with Cora during the gala, their little back-and-forth in the garden, and his inner-monologue reasons for turning on her. It's neat to see another character from a strict noble upbringing and how that shaped him, and how he empathizes with others.

I do agree with the above that you seem to be a bit hard on yourself when it comes to posting length, which can be condensed. Also, like Val said, you're friendly and easy to work with which is a huge plus in a writer!

And you're better at making burgers than me.

 

[Darth Strosius]

I've been a Malum since fan day one fr fr.

Malum is a very interesting and layered character, with faults and facets that wouldn't be out of place for any sort of character but especially emphasize and pair well with his role as a Sith. In particular there are two aspects of Malum that I really enjoy because of how well you've pulled them off!

For starters his legacy as an Heir of Marr is a great idea. A really cool Sith from the good old days of the Sith Empire but not one whos mantle is often claimed or mimicked like Vitiate. The thing I most enjoy though is that him being the Heir of Marr is only really one part of his status as a noble, that you don't focus solely on him being Marr 2.0 and instead have a solid noble Sith character that just so happens to have connections to a great Sith of the past. It's a good balance in regards to having connections to existing characters that I don't see too often done on Chaos really.

The other thing I really enjoy is more your OOC handiwork, your ability to justify and throw Malum into a variety of situations with a variety of people. He's not limited to Sith interactions yet none of his excursions really feel cheap like you're just throwing him out there to get posts, they all seem genuinely handled and well done like one would expect of a proper character in a a published story. Also your ability to gather support and people willing to expand upon the House of Marr is something that I greatly admire, and am jealous of, because it's not just getting like Servant #4 or whatever. You offer real character opportunities that allow people to make characters with common backgrounds but plenty of room to grow into their own identities.

Finally what I respect is your desire to go back and learn the history of Chaos, to pay homage to the writers and stories of the past. I know myself I sometimes roll my eyes when the old timers start reminiscing, no offense intended of course, but you go out of your way to try and learn more about those things. The effort you put into that is great to see and always a great asset for coming up with new stories and characters that mesh well with what has come before.

All in all, 10/10.

 

[Darth Malum of House Marr]

You write a lot.

Like a lot a lot. Like sometimes too much a lot. I've noticed it in a couple of your posts where you'll type something you've already typed out in a different way as if it's filler for the post itself. I'm always a big advocate of less is more, but asides from the repetition your posts themselves at least aren't filled with actual filler.

I've also messaged you about it prior for one instance, but I figure it's also worth saying now given you've been churning out posts like mad. Don't over promise. There's nothing that can bum another writer out more than them not getting responses someone is continually promising to give, or someone who burns themselves out by getting too much for them to handle. You seem to be doing fine for now, but it's good to keep in mind how big of a plate you have.

With the Valery-Malum interaction on the horizon, we really need a Kahlil-Malum interaction soon, fr fr.

Thank you for the feedback I really do appreciate it, though you already know that since I mentioned it on Discord. This has thankfully given me a voice at the back of my head that will actually read over a post after I have finished, and trim off some of that fat, so thank you for helping me establish that. (Especially since editing is my least favourite part of the writing process haha).

And thank you for reaching out about that situation, last time I burned out I disappeared for 6 months, I really do not want that to happen again (delayed me getting to 500 for so long, smh), so I'll certainly do my best to pace myself better, as you said, not even just for myself, but for the people who are kind enough to write with me.

We haven't really written yet, but I'll definitely mirror the bit about pacing yourself, because it sometimes feels like you push yourself pretty hard. Find a rhythm that works for you without stressing you out, and no matter how many posts you get done, you'll feel good about it.

On a positive note, you're a very pleasant person to talk to and meme around with. Makes it easy to plan stories or discuss them, and makes people open to wanting to do bigger stories too. The vibes are good, and that's more important than just about anything else.

Valery-Malum Interaction Coming Soon (TM).

But thank you for the advice, from the master herself, I'll definitely take it to heart. Reaching for the sun is all good, as long as your wax wings don't melt off, and all that.

I'm glad you think I'm fun to hang around with OOC as well, the feeling is certainly mutual (add fingerguns emoji here).

I am a Malum enjoyer.

For a Sith, he's very human, and definitely has his earnest and caring moments - and you've played those as both strengths and weaknesses, which I really like.

I enjoyed his dance with Cora during the gala, their little back-and-forth in the garden, and his inner-monologue reasons for turning on her. It's neat to see another character from a strict noble upbringing and how that shaped him, and how he empathizes with others.

I do agree with the above that you seem to be a bit hard on yourself when it comes to posting length, which can be condensed. Also, like Val said, you're friendly and easy to work with which is a huge plus in a writer!

And you're better at making burgers than me.

My favourite Jedi Princess!

I am so happy that you've enjoyed the Corazona-Malum interactions, they have certainly ranked highly the last few months as my favourite threads, I specifically loved writing the garden scene with you, and can only hope for more Corazona-Malum content on the horizon.

I am happy to say that with everyone mentioning the post length thingo (especially TNB, praise be), I think I have finally stopped trying to reach for the artificial number, and am just happy writing what is needed without unnecessary waffles.

(On a side note, I was thinking about this burger quote on and off for like hours, was like "what could she have possibly meant by this?" Was she referencing "burghers" and making a nobility joke? Only just remembered as I was writing this, that we played that cooking game with the others lmao... don't worry you were a great fry cook!)

I've been a Malum since fan day one fr fr.

Malum is a very interesting and layered character, with faults and facets that wouldn't be out of place for any sort of character but especially emphasize and pair well with his role as a Sith. In particular there are two aspects of Malum that I really enjoy because of how well you've pulled them off!

For starters his legacy as an Heir of Marr is a great idea. A really cool Sith from the good old days of the Sith Empire but not one whos mantle is often claimed or mimicked like Vitiate. The thing I most enjoy though is that him being the Heir of Marr is only really one part of his status as a noble, that you don't focus solely on him being Marr 2.0 and instead have a solid noble Sith character that just so happens to have connections to a great Sith of the past. It's a good balance in regards to having connections to existing characters that I don't see too often done on Chaos really.

The other thing I really enjoy is more your OOC handiwork, your ability to justify and throw Malum into a variety of situations with a variety of people. He's not limited to Sith interactions yet none of his excursions really feel cheap like you're just throwing him out there to get posts, they all seem genuinely handled and well done like one would expect of a proper character in a a published story. Also your ability to gather support and people willing to expand upon the House of Marr is something that I greatly admire, and am jealous of, because it's not just getting like Servant #4 or whatever. You offer real character opportunities that allow people to make characters with common backgrounds but plenty of room to grow into their own identities.

Finally what I respect is your desire to go back and learn the history of Chaos, to pay homage to the writers and stories of the past. I know myself I sometimes roll my eyes when the old timers start reminiscing, no offense intended of course, but you go out of your way to try and learn more about those things. The effort you put into that is great to see and always a great asset for coming up with new stories and characters that mesh well with what has come before.

All in all, 10/10.

Ali you absolute nerf herder, don't you dare make me cry.

Fuck, you wrote so much here that I'm bursting at the seams here, and don't even know what to say.

Just at the end, I could not have done half of what you said here, without your support and help.

Tsis'Kaar brothers to the end!