Feedback 500 + posts

[Vera Noble]

I don't often have characters other than Valery Noble hit big posting milestones, but I've really been enjoying Vera lately. My biggest fear, writing the daughter of a character I write so much, is that she's just going to be a carbon copy of that character. That's why I've made her strengths/weaknesses so vastly different. Valery is a fighter, and Vera is not.

But am I doing an okay job with it? Does she feel like her own person and is she fun to interact with?

Open to all feedback, as long as it's constructive. Though focused mainly on Vera, please.

 

[Caltin Vanagor]

Maybe a bit like her(competitive, fiery), but I have always viewed her more like dad Kahlil Noble . Either way she is a growing into herself quite well. Like her snarky behavior with some, but her respect when it is prudent. She's still a kid and reads like one and she IS her mother's daughter in many ways but she is her own identity.

 

[Caelan Valoren]

I'm not the nerd here. That's you!

I do sometimes read her a little bit like her mother. But I think that the fiery attitude is true of Noble women, so it kind of makes sense. Their styles of handling things are different, though. I don't see anything that makes her a carbon copy.

Only critique I have? Write her more, especially away from her family.

 

[Eloise Dinn]

First off, I think you have succeeded in differentiating her from Valery, so congrats on that. It's a tough thing to pull off; I say that from one legacy character to another lol. Vera is more energetic (almost to the point where she seems caffeinated sometimes) and bubbly, though she has that teasing sense of humor Val shares. She's definitely more immature, as one would expect from a young teen.

I have also picked up on negative aspects of her personality, the most glaring of which is that she denies/is oblivious to how privileged she is as the daughter of the Grandmaster. I don't say that as a criticism, I think it is a great trait to play around with. One of my big criticisms of the old Young Jedi Knights/New Jedi Order books in Legends was that they rarely ever addressed how lucky the Skywalker-Solo kids were and how much it might have given them an advantage compared to their peers. For Vera to have a lack of self-awareness as a flaw not only gives her more dimension, it could make for an excellent arc as she comes to understand why people might see or treat her differently because of who her parents are.

Overall I think she's developing well. I haven't read all her threads, but I am interested in seeing more from her.

 

[Vera Noble]

Maybe a bit like her(competitive, fiery), but I have always viewed her more like dad Kahlil Noble . Either way she is a growing into herself quite well. Like her snarky behavior with some, but her respect when it is prudent. She's still a kid and reads like one and she IS her mother's daughter in many ways but she is her own identity.

I do sometimes read her a little bit like her mother. But I think that the fiery attitude is true of Noble women, so it kind of makes sense.

This makes me happy to hear. I don't want her to have no similarities with her Mother. Every child has something in common with one of the parents, after all. Vera was meant to capture that wild spirit Valery had when she was little, but the plan is for her to grow up into being more like her father. She's obviously learning his skills, too, so I'm glad that shows!

I have also picked up on negative aspects of her personality, the most glaring of which is that she denies/is oblivious to how privileged she is as the daughter of the Grandmaster. I don't say that as a criticism, I think it is a great trait to play around with. One of my big criticisms of the old Young Jedi Knights/New Jedi Order books in Legends was that they rarely ever addressed how lucky the Skywalker-Solo kids were and how much it might have given them an advantage compared to their peers. For Vera to have a lack of self-awareness as a flaw not only gives her more dimension, it could make for an excellent arc as she comes to understand why people might see or treat her differently because of who her parents are.

Overall I think she's developing well. I haven't read all her threads, but I am interested in seeing more from her.

Glad you noticed! I intentionally have her introduce herself as just "Vera" most of the time. She struggles with her last name and doesn't want people to look at her and just think of her parents. But it also means she dismisses it too much when people, rightfully so, do treat her differently or when it concerns the privilege she has for having grown up in a warm family of well-established Jedi. This story beat came up recently in my threads with Diogo Talon and my thread with Kaelos Vryn too.

Where I want to go is that she does realize it, but that she always retains that desire to not just be "The Grandmaster's kid" to the people she wants to befriend and also be seen as her own person with her own skills and qualities.

Lots more to do~!

Either way, thank you all for the feedback!

 

[Everest Vale]

My only criticism is Eve has yet to meet her