Feedback 600+ Posts, Feedback and Criticism

[Jenn Kryze]

Part of me was thinking I would only ever put this up once I beat the 1000 post mark, but given the lull in activity on my end and a fair bit of thinking, I've decided to put this up now.

As most of you probably know, I made Jenn a fair while ago, played her as an uncompromising Old Ways Mando with the means to change, then went on a loooong hiatus for RL reasons - and when I came back, I began to take her along on a different direction, with her growing to be more open in her mindset. The latest development in her story saw her taking the mantle of Alor of Clan Kryze for herself and facing the challenges that come with such a position.

Whether you've written with me before or have just been reading a few threads here and there, I'm rather keen to ask your thoughts on the character, the way I write her, perhaps even how I can improve. I am rather proud of my writing skills, particularly as a non-native speaker, but I believe there is always room for growth.

Or, hell, ask me anything about her and I'll do my best to answer.

 

[Noah Corek]

Honestly it’s a pretty unique character and from what little I’ve read I like it a lot. The whole Mandalorian mermaid is intriguing! I’d love to get something going one day!

 

[Liorra]

I adore your writing, and I really appreciate the time you've taken with Jenn and Clan Kryze. I look forward to reading more!

 

[Darth Malum of House Marr]

I think we have had multiple paragraph-long discussions about how much I like Jenn Kryze as a character, so that would be my feedback mostly, if you want me to go track down what I said just gimme a shout.

The only thing I would say is having a character being so uncompromising in her views, reduces the opportunity to RP with certain characters outside of antagonism, I do not think this is a major concern, one because it is not too substantial, and second because I believe you are flexible enough to still be able to write with those characters.

But just something to note.

I love Jenn Kryze, and hope to see more.

 

[Damsy Callat]

bringing our characters together at the start was really enjoyable because they were so different but somehow found common ground that they used to become friends. I use to at times adapt my characters to others without realizing, so I look up to your ability to stick to Jenn's ideals while still allowing her to evolve in a way that is mindful and meaningful.

I lovelovelove her. super glad that Damsy could help Jenn come into who she is from the Sithspawn angle

let's write another chapter for them sometime!

 

[Rik Perris]

Jenn has been fantastic read on the occasions I've come across her posts over time; I've truly enjoyed her path as a Mandalorian, how her principles and beliefs drive her words and actions, and how she's been able to change her views. Really a well fleshed-out character!

I've no suggestions on how to improve at this time... just keep doing what you do! You're defintely on the right track, imo

 

[Varys Amun]

Wow, it took me a while to think of some actual things to say that are not just a virtual high five and the proclamation that Jenn is the best mum-alorian around, so- here we go.

I think one of the things that made me want to write with you late last year was how starkly Jenn stood out from her Enclave compatriots. She was a free-thinker, principled, and struggling to juggle her ideals with the institution she found herself in. Since then she has graduated into a fully-fledged Alor who has struck her own path across the stars, but she hasn't lost any of the underlying traits that made her unique.

To me, that speaks to the consistency to which you have written this character. It's genuinely a lot of fun to be threading with you thinking about Jenn's personality and how she will react to an event, and then seeing it play out exactly how I imagine her. That's one of the big reasons, aside from your wonderful prose, I love creating stories and building my own character alongside you.

Speaking of my character, I have really appreciated the enthusiasm to which you have involved your character's story with mine, and watching Jenn trepidatiously accept Varys into her life only to blossom into a loving and kind mother is a beautiful thing to write and read.

Another thing I admire is how you balance pushing the narrative of a particular thread with supporting Jenn's own development. The snippets of her memories and her ruminating over her doubts and fears never feels forced nor overpowering. As far as the overall character's design and arc, I adore how you have simultaneously managed to make Jenn a dangerous Alor of a famous Mandalorian clan, who is a fish lady Force User, and yet she is still unbelievably balanced, human and relatable.

As rightly mentioned above, one of Jenn's core character traits is her unshakeable principles and her righteousness. I have read lots of amazing threads in which Jenn's assumptions have proven correct, she has taken the moral high road, or had the last laugh. Something that would be really cool to explore with the character are times Jenn's headstrong sometimes holier-than-thou attitude leads her to make a wrong judgement, or gets her into trouble.

Overall, I would just like to say that despite what my post-count would suggest I have been her a lot of years now, and you are a writer who captures my imagination and makes me want to get on the board and write like few others ever have. That's really cool, and it's a privilege to be able to make these stories with you :^]
Jenn Kryze