Feedback 800+ Posts, Feedback on Briana

[Briana Sal-Soren]

I meant to do this earlier on, but it got away from me. I've been writing Briana now for...well, this will be the third year in just a couple of months. She's easily become my main and preferred character, replacing her mother whom I'd written off and on for years, and I'd like to know how I've been doing with her.

Whether you've read some of her threads or write with me consistently, what are your thoughts on Briana? Has she been consistent? If you've read and/or written with me for a while, how has her character arc been? How believable do you find her as a character (motivations, relatability, etc.)? Does she feel multi dimensional or is she stagnant in some areas?

Any and all feedback and criticism is much appreciated.

 

[Lossa Aureus]

It's been a blast seeing Briana go from spoiled padawan brat to a proper knight and family matriarch.

Through everything so far that I've seen her go through(read as - get dragged through/be forced to experience) I don't feel as though you have ever betrayed her core values as a character. Seeing her grow and alter her views has been a fun thing to see, alongside finding where she can and can't bend those values. But I've never felt Briana has ever strayed away from who she is as a character.

Thay being said, Briana has had a lot of curveballs thrown her way which could have effected her in a myriad of ways.

From familial issues, to issues extending well beyond her scope of control, she has maintained herself as a consistently portrayed character without any large leaps of logic behind a sudden shift in her demeanor or beliefs. Anything attributed to her character usually comes with a well thought reason that similarly isn't a leap of logic to understand.

What I've enjoyed the most is being able to be present during portions of her arc to not only witness firsthand how she's grown, but also have a character be influenced by Briana and her steadfast tendency.

While I can't speak for anyone but myself, Briana has been a blast to write with and witness. I look forward to more cooperative writing and what changes come from the future.

Keep doing what you are doing!

(No critiques at this time, especially since you keep me from going off the deep end with my riotous ideas)

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

U rite gud.

Seriously, your prose is the best on this site. When you describe something, I don't even have to try to imagine the scene you're building with your words, I can just see it. It's elegant, with the perfect balance between description and embellishment. It's flowery, but without crossing the line into becoming purple prose.

I haven't been here as long as others, and I've yet to take the time to go back and read where Briana started. But as a character, she's one of the most interesting on the site. She's a complete wreck, with a dozen different problems that are all spiraling out of control at the same time, but she stays calm, collected, and in control of them. Also, her being included in the Prophecy of Four is obviously a great hook.

But you also write her with flaws. She might be vastly different now as compared to when she was a child, but you still write her with those old character detriments. She may have learned to overcome her flaws, but there are still hints of them in her actions, and that makes her feel real. She's kind, compassionate, and wise. But also petty, prideful, and stubborn. And those last three have drawn me to her equally as much as the first three. She's not perfect (even if Gatz thinks she is) and it makes me interested in everything you post.

She gotta be more responsible about her Padawans though. Either she loses them, or they start wars...

In short: write a god damn book Amz. I'd pre-order it. And have Briana invest in childtracker for her students.

 

[Brandyn Sal-Soren]

Thank you for making Briana your own. You took a character that did not start with you and made her someone uniquely yours, but also true to the original vision. I appreciate your investment into a character that could have easily been your side project. I happily admit today that the Sal-Soren story is largely a Briana story.

My only critiques are when I put on my Brandyn hat. And no one wants to listen to that loose canon.

Keeping doing what you do.

 

[Sahan Dragr]

Only been one interaction (maybe there can be more in the future), but Sahan definitely respects her for taking a slug for a comerades (even if it was a foolish thing to do lol).
Ooc, I don't have a lot to go off of, but I think you did a great job in that one thread. I think she's what a Jedi should be in this modern Galaxy.

 

[Ragos Terrek]

My comments are coming a little late, so please forgive me if I sound repetitive.

We have been in a couple of threads together, so I have some familiarity with your game. My experience with you has been an all around joy. You consistently confound me with your creativity and care when it comes to crafting a story.

You do a bang up job at advancing your own personal character arc while also being mindful of the story of whichever thread you are in and that's not always an easy thing to do.

To echo Gatz Derrevar your prose and description work is top notch(it honestly makes me jealous) you have a great handle on writing your character's interiority and showing the reader what they are feeling, why, and how it affects them WITHOUT it feeling like we as the reader are just being told something, you have a way of allowing us to understand and empathize.

For my money you do very well with Briana at making the character feel organic. It's easy to root for Bri. There is a relatability that comes across through the choices you make with the character which can be a difficult thing to achieve in a setting as bombastic as SW.

 

[Briana Sal-Soren]

It's been a blast seeing Briana go from spoiled padawan brat to a proper knight and family matriarch.

Through everything so far that I've seen her go through(read as - get dragged through/be forced to experience) I don't feel as though you have ever betrayed her core values as a character. Seeing her grow and alter her views has been a fun thing to see, alongside finding where she can and can't bend those values. But I've never felt Briana has ever strayed away from who she is as a character.

Thay being said, Briana has had a lot of curveballs thrown her way which could have effected her in a myriad of ways.

U rite gud.

Seriously, your prose is the best on this site. When you describe something, I don't even have to try to imagine the scene you're building with your words, I can just see it. It's elegant, with the perfect balance between description and embellishment. It's flowery, but without crossing the line into becoming purple prose.

I haven't been here as long as others, and I've yet to take the time to go back and read where Briana started. But as a character, she's one of the most interesting on the site. She's a complete wreck, with a dozen different problems that are all spiraling out of control at the same time, but she stays calm, collected, and in control of them. Also, her being included in the Prophecy of Four is obviously a great hook.

Thank you for making Briana your own. You took a character that did not start with you and made her someone uniquely yours, but also true to the original vision. I appreciate your investment into a character that could have easily been your side project. I happily admit today that the Sal-Soren story is largely a Briana story.

Only been one interaction (maybe there can be more in the future), but Sahan definitely respects her for taking a slug for a comerades (even if it was a foolish thing to do lol).

My comments are coming a little late, so please forgive me if I sound repetitive.

We have been in a couple of threads together, so I have some familiarity with your game. My experience with you has been an all around joy. You consistently confound me with your creativity and care when it comes to crafting a story.

You do a bang up job at advancing your own personal character arc while also being mindful of the story of whichever thread you are in and that's not always an easy thing to do.

Thank you all for taking the time to give me your feedback, to say that I am overwhelmed by the positive responses is putting it mildly. I think I was expecting some more criticism as I sometimes worry I am a little too wordy, or get too lost in inner dialogue, and/or don't put enough meaningful dialogue into my posts and trying to strike a good balance between too much drama/just enough while keeping to the character and keeping them realistic always feels like a balancing act. I'm glad to see that what I write seems to be hitting the mark though. And of course it's been an absolute blast writing with you guys, Bri wouldn't be who she is without you and your characters contributions. Whether you've been friend, foe, family, etc. Thank you for helping me shape her. I appreciate you all ~ <3

 

[Aiden Rennek]

Since you dropped this thread, I've been trying to come up with some actual feedback I could offer, but I honestly don't really have anything in the realm of constructive criticism.

So gushy time it is

My biggest plus is that I feel you're very obviously a writer who also spends a lot of time reading. It shows in how you describe scenes, characters and emotions, but also in how you construct stories. Can it be a little wordy? Sure, but it's a very fun thing to read because what you write still has clear purpose and doesn't ever feel like it's unnecessary or too much. I've picked up a lot of little things from your writing that I've used in my descriptions for Valery, and I'm sure there will be plenty more

Briana (and any other character you have) is well thought out, with clear motivations, goals and a story that keeps growing. I feel lucky to have been a part of it with Valery as her Master, and now with Aiden as her partner~

Time for more threads