A Mirror to the Past

[Kaalia Pavanos]

​

Avacyn knew that it was highly unlikely the invitation she had sent out would be answered, if it was even received. The last time she and Samka Derith, who also carried the name Decitus Ren, had spoken was long ago and had been nothing short of a hostile encounter. It was a time before Kaalia had taken up the title of Darth Avacyn, when she was among the ranks of the Knights of Ren- it seemed like lifetimes ago now. Her connections to the Sith had branded her as a traitor, something that carried heavy consequences. She was brought to an inch of her life, her memories were altered and she was exiled, all by Samka's hand. Yet, with the perspective time had given her, she had come to realize that if that had not happened, she wouldn't have been where she was now. And that did not even touch upon the fact she hadn't simply been killed for her actions like so many others who had done the same thing.

For many years, however, Avacyn did not even recall ever being one of the Ren. Only recently did she even find out her memories were lying to her and with the help of her fellow Sith Lady [member='Taeli Raaf'], the falsehoods planted in her mind were finally removed. Samka was one of the people she remembered now and after debating whether to do so for months the woman decided she wished to speak to her again. Thus she reached out through any means available that had even the slightest chance of reaching Samka, stating a planet, a place, and a date. Dromund Kaas, the citadel of the Triumvir of Strength, on what was now present day.

Inside of her private chambers Avacyn kept herself occupied with the datapad on the desk she sat at. She was working on her book outlining the basics of elemental Shaping, the Force techniques native to her homeworld of Kro Var. There wasn't much out there for people to study, whatever literature was out there consisted of ancient texts kept safely stored away by whoever owned them. She hoped to change this and make Shaping available to those who wished to learn it, and this book would be the first step towards that goal. Her work was cut short however, when she heard a knock on the door to her chambers.

"Enter."

A guard stepped through the doorway and gave her a slight bow. "Milady, a, well, young lady has requested to see you. She identified herself as Decitus."

For a moment surprise overcame the redhead as she turned her head towards the guard. Against all expectations it seemed she had indeed decided to honor her request. "She is the guest I was expecting. Guide her here and if there is anything she wishes, see to it."

[member="Samka Derith"]

 

[Samka Derith]

It seemed the impossible had been achieved.

A simple message had found its way back to her. An invitation to Dromand Kaas at the behest of a name she'd not expected to hear from again.

It was hard to express the emotions the young Ren felt at the sight. Surprise, indignation, curiosity. The memory wipe was permanent. It could not be reversed. It was simply impossible. Yet didn't change the message she had received. Decitus Ren tutted. To show mercy and the response was this? The death penalty may have been more prudent for the young red head after all.

She considered the invitation carefully. It was possible the woman desired revenge and there was no doubt that she was far more powerful than the last time the pair had met. Internally she battled between curiosity and caution. The Force told her nothing and so eventually curiosity won out.

---

"I don't like waiting," she told the guard who returned to the front door. "Not in the rain," Samka gestured with a swing of her eyes to the small umbrella she held over her head. The guard bowed and apologised and allowed her to step inside unchallenged now that he had spoken to his mistress.

"Oh it's fine really. I cut quite the intimidating figure I suppose, don't I?" The petite girl's voice was laced with sarcasm as she shook her umbrella and removed her coat to reveal simple civilian clothing underneath. She wore a cream dress, it was a lacy thing going down just past her knees. The choice of attire would show she did not expect a fight.

The guard wasn't the talkative type so Samka followed him in silence down the corridor as he led her to a growing Dark presence. Her own Force signature was being repressed at the moment. The Dark Side still lingered around her but it did not overwhelm with ice and fear as it did naturally these days unless kept in check.

She entered the room at the guard's invitation and there she saw her former associate. A rush of nostalgia hit her. It had been a different era since they had last seen one another. In just a few years so much had changed... Including Kaalia. The aura surrounding the woman was stronger, far more assured and the Dark Side finally seemed to have secured its hold.

"Voldaren," not yet sensing hostile intent, a smile appeared at the edge of Samka's lips. "My aren't we both grown up?" She'd changed too, even physically. Although she remained as short in stature, Samka's form was more feminine, her hair dark and wavy while her face was leaner. She remained young but the Ren was more woman than child now.

[member="Kaalia Pavanos"]​

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

As Samka drew closer, her presence in the Force triggered the memories of a time long past within the person behind Darth Avacyn. Kaalia was drawn out instead, the one who had always been there but now had her own protector. Her Sith moniker was more than just a name- it embodied an almost entirely different person entirely, even if it was her own creation. It was more akin to a mask, but it felt like much more than just that to her. Even subtle mannerisms were different between Kaalia and Avacyn, as though they really were seperate entities. As it was Kaalia who Samka knew and it was her who had sent out the message, it only made sense for her to be the one to greet her guest. Eyes ignited with the Dark side's corruption shifted back to reveal their natural green color as she got up from her desk and made her way to the door of her chambers, which was perhaps the most telling outward sign of the internal change. The Dark side retained its presence around her without much of a change, however, exerting an aura that demanded respect.

Samka then entered the room and for a moment Kaalia felt conflicted on how she was supposed to feel. The Ren was part of a chapter she was glad was closed, and the younger woman hadn't treated her particularly well, but in the end she had let her live despite the fact it would've been her death had it been anyone else. There was no hostility to be found towards the brunette despite this, however.

"Decitus," Kaalia responded in kind, followed by a curious look over what Samka said next. "That's an interesting way to put it, but I do suppose it's accurate." The change in hair color was the first thing she had noticed. The previously attention-drawing purple-colored hair was now a natural and much calmer chestnut brown color, this in combination with how she had changed physically giving her a bit of a more mature look. "And I do not use the name Voldaren much anymore these days, I go by Pavanos in personal relations now." One of the many things that had changed in those years was the fact Kaalia was a married woman now, and the mother of twins. The name Darth Avacyn was how she was publically known as and with her position as Triumvir of Strength there were few people she met who weren't familiar with that name. She saw no need to bring that name up for that reason.

"I do apologize for my guards. They were explicitly informed to let you in, but it seems they cannot even do that. I will make sure that doesn't happen again." In fact, they were going to be replaced by the end of the day. Kaalia had little use for guards as incompetent as them. "But I'm glad you decided to accept my invitation. May I offer you anything? A drink, perhaps?"

[member="Samka Derith"]

 

[Samka Derith]

"Yes, so I hear. A pity you forgot to invite me to reception," Samka's eyes twinkled with mirth as she stepped further into the room, glancing around to examine (and judge) Kaalia's taste. She did indeed know of Kaalia's sweetheart, it was one of the many things that had made Sam question the girl's resolve. If forced to choose between her love and her nation, Sam was certain Kaalia would have made the selfish choice. At one time she'd considered forcing the choice or having the Pavanos woman killed to eliminate the distraction but that would only be treating the symptoms, not the root cause which was Kaalia's disruptive personality.

Probably best Kaalia not know any of that though.

"Oh it's quite alright," she dismissed Kaalia's offer with a friendly smile. "I've drank quite enough on these personal occasions and I'm finally coming around to admitting I simply cannot stomach alcohol well," the petite girl gave a good natured chuckle. Besides, a small part of her wasn't convinced the Sith wouldn't attempt to poison her or something.

"Although that does beg the question," Sam turned to Kaalia, her head cocked in curiosity as she leaned forwards slightly, "we should address the obvious. Why did you contact me, hrm?"

[member="Kaalia Pavanos"]

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

"I was quite forgetful about many things back then," Kaalia answered with an undertone implying that she did indeed remember the events that led to that 'forgetfulness' now, as well as the things she had forgotten. She began making her way to a cupboard, opening it to reveal glasses and a wide array of beverages. While making her choice, she continued. "You wouldn't have been the only uninvited guest had you shown up, funnily enough." Ara had made a very brief appearance, but only when she regained her memories did she realize it had been her. "Although I never pegged you as someone who enjoys those kind of events." There was a certain kind of lightheartedness in her voice, like she was unbothered by what had happened between the two in the past.

Finally, Kaalia decided to go with a simple glass of water, taking one of the glasses and pouring the liquid into it. "I've got a few more things to attend to today, so I'm not having anything alcoholic myself. I probably should've clarified I have both alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages here." She left the cupboard open and took her glass to a seat, leaving the invitation open for Samka to get something for herself. "If you change your mind, feel free to help yourself. Please, take a seat," the woman said while drawing attention to the other chairs that were still empty.

Once Kaalia had sat down and taken a sip of her water, she went to address the question that had been posed to her. "It must be quite odd, hearing from me after all this time," she admitted, "but to clear up any potential doubt, I have regained my memories. I am sure you had already figured that out, though." The very fact she had reached out to Samka was probably enough to draw that conclusion. "Know that I have no ill feelings towards you over what happened back then. In fact, the main reason I wanted to speak with you was to thank you, as strange as it may sound."

[member="Samka Derith"]

 

[Samka Derith]

"Hrm yes. I heard of that as well," Sam admitted, giving a small shake of her head. "I told everyone to leave you be but a few just couldn't resist..." the Ren sighed and took a step forward to examine what Kaalia had stored in her cupboards.

A tight lipped smile crossed Sam's features. "Me? Not enjoy weddings? Do I not seem the romantic type? Just because I believe romance is but a distraction from what truly matters and a weakness of one's emotive state doesn't mean I can't enjoy a sweet social. I do so like the cake!" She giggled. A sweet noise of a young woman. Nothing more but for a twinkle of madness in her eyes.

With a playful skip and a hop, the Ren moved over to the cupboard as Kaalia took her seat, browsing for her favourite fruit juice or maybe something fizzy and full of sugar...

"Mmm..." Sam continued scanning the cupboard as Kaalia spoke of her memories. To those unfamiliar with the young woman, it might appear she wasn't paying attention. Whether this was genuine airiness or a hazing technique wasn't clear but Kaalia did have her full attention.

"Yes..." she said while thumbing through Kaalia's drinks. "I had assumed as much which is most curious indeed... it's never happened before in the centuries of use. It's very strange but I won't insist on reversal or other countermeasures if you prove to be a better secret keeper than you used to be, hrm?" She finally turned back to face the her former comrade, a carefree smile still on her face as she reminded Kaalia of her treason. "Besides Lord Carnifex seems fond of you and I'd hate to disappoint him so."

"You are welcome, Lady Pavanos," Samka gave a small respectful curtsy. "For anything in particular? "


((Rushed phone formatting sorry! [member="Kaalia Pavanos"] ))

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

Little mind was paid to the fact that Samka appeared to pay more attention to the contents of the cupboard than what Kaalia was saying. It hadn't been the first time, and it hardly was the strangest quirk she had ever seen in another. "You may rest assured that those secrets have been and will continue to be kept to myself," she responded to what could have been taken as a quip at her expense. She had been too careless in the past though, which justified the remark. She wasn't above admitting her missteps, either. "I learn from my mistakes. I wouldn't be here now if I still wasn't able to, well, keep my mouth shut about certain things."

There was one person who knew what Kaalia knew in regard to the Ren, that being [member='Taeli Raaf'], but the woman saw little reason to bring that up. It had been part of the process that restored her memories in the first place and it seemed like there was nothing there she didn't already know. Knowing her past gave her the closure she wished for- but there was no further need to ever speak of it again to anyone who played no part in time of her life. "Hm, Carnifex and I see eye to eye on many things. Not everything, of course, but seeing things from a different perspective can be enlightening for both parties."

"You are welcome, Lady Pavanos, for anything in particular?"

It was a question Kaalia expected, and had an answer ready for. "I was not the first who turned to Sith teachings and those who did so before met a much more final fate. You could have done the same to me, but you did not." She was very much aware that she had gotten more than just lucky that day. "I cannot say the alternative was particularly pleasurable, but even then there was nothing stopping you from ending my life afterwards." Had the roles been reversed, it was very unlikely the redhead would have done the same. 'That is why I must thank you. With that comes a question, too. If you are willing to answer it." It was something that had been on her mind ever since she was able to remember what happened.

"Why is it that you let me live? I was devoid of any significance back then, I wasn't any different from any other who turned their back on the Ren."

[member="Samka Derith"]

 

[Samka Derith]

"Let's hope so," she nodded approvingly, "I shalln't be so generous next time."

Finally she found something suitable. A syrupy drink full of fruity and sugary goodness. Grinning like a schoolgirl at her treat, Samka poured herself a glass. She listened to Kaalia's response as she sat opposite the taller woman, sipping her drink delicately as she did so.

"Because I'm a kind person," Sam gave a wry smile with a single raised brow then took another sip of her drink. "Mm~! I'll have to make a note to import this one, I like the tang." She examined the glass and the liquid within, leaving Kaalia waiting for a moment before sighing lightly and putting it on the table. "Killing you certainly crossed my mind," the younger girl admitted freely. "It would have been far more efficient and avoided these... complications," she gave the red head a side eye. "Partly, I... prodded you towards the blossoming Sith Empire as a fine and already trained warrior of the Dark Side. You've made an excellent gift." She flashed Kaalia a toothy beam. "Partly because even outside of our control, you still share our enemies. Until now the wipe had never been broken so it stood to simple reason. You're either dead and not doing anything or you're alive and indirectly aiding our cause anyway."

Her eyes darted for a moment and she took another sip followed by another sigh, "And another reason I suppose," she avoided Kaalia's gaze and focused on her glass which she began to stir. "You were one of mine. We weren't particularly close, I wasn't with anyone, but we had our missions together. There are a great many Ren, I would discard most of their lives without a second thought if it secured my nation. It's what they are there for ultimately. But you weren't just another mask, you were one of mine. My first mission in command, you probably remember it now, it was Mustafar. A wonderful victory but costly. The forces there were larger in number and better entrenched than we realised. But we threw back Jedi Masters the galaxy told us were our superiors, we forced their Grand Marshal and his followers to retreat, we took the castle and then we took the planet." Finally Sam's crimson eyes flickered back to meet Kaalia's. Recounting that victory always brought a half smile to her lips and silent passion in her eyes. "We did it Kaalia. You were an invaluable part of our success. A success which endeared me to the Supreme Leader himself. It's likely I wouldn't become what I have without it. I made a small promise before we landed at Mustafar that I would do all I could to keep everyone involved safe. It's a promise I continue to hold myself to. Even through treason apparently."

The Ren girl went to take another mouthful from the glass but paused. "Oh and Ara would have slapped me, I'm sure."

[member="Kaalia Pavanos"]

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

Kaalia left the question whether Samka's statement was a threat or not up in the air, deciding that ultimately it didn't make much of a difference. It wouldn't affect the way she approached the topic of her own past and she knew better than to do anything to spark the ire of a nation that was allied to her own. She didn't feel intimidated in the way she would have in the past, either- she was a far cry from the woman she was the last time the two had met after all. She wouldn't have been where she was now otherwise.

Samka's drink of choice didn't come to her surprise, though. It was very fitting.

Resisting the urge to snicker at the Ren's first comment after sitting down, the temptation mostly caused by the face she made, Kaalia instead nodded as Samka noted her approval of the drink she had chosen for herself. "I have to admit that I'm quite the fan of it too," she said in response, "I have found it is particularly good in cocktails too. But considering what you mentioned about alcohol before I doubt that is of much interest to you." Drinks of that kind were kept to special occasions, but she allowed herself to dabble in such pleasures from time to time. "Feel free to take the bottle with you when you go, consider it a small thank you for coming."

The drink was only a temporary distraction from the topic they were discussing though and when Samka went back on-topic, at first she answered the question Kaalia had asked in a way that the redhead could have imagined beforehand. An assessment of what the situation was back then in a very rational way, but with the small flair in a side-eye and a smile afterwards that served as a reminder of what Samka was like. Kaalia did not see herself having been anyone worth the bother back then, but was willing to concede that opinions often differed. And, now that she was considering the fact she had quite rapidly risen up the ranks of the Sith Brotherhood shortly after joining their numbers, it became easier to see that there was some merit to that claim. Kaalia's mouth opened slightly as she was about to share those thoughts, but stopped when the other woman continued.

What followed was, in contrast to the previous reasons Samka had given, something that came very much unexpectedly.

The Sith lady listened while some of her surprise broke through onto her facial features, her mind going back to Mustafar and replaying it in flashes. A side of Samka she realized she had seen but never truly recognized before now stared her right in the face, even if it was only visible in the most minute of details within those memories. She wasn't quite stunned silent, but it wasn't that far off. Although with the perspective she had now she had no wish to return to that life, but as nostalgia could pierce through the coldest hearts, it hit Kaalia with quite some force. The battles fought alongside her fellow Ren, the taste of victory- within that small bubble she lived in back then, those were some of the memories she could have still cherished had things gone differently.

And then Samka snapped the woman out of her silence with her final remark, which caused her to chuckle for a short moment. Although not yet bringing it to her lips, she did wrap a hand around her glass. "After her short but, well, impactful visit to the wedding, I would think she wouldn't have gotten too upset about it," Kaalia replied, before taking a sip of her drink and putting the glass back down. Ara had left behind a set of rings that burdened Kaalia and Ishana with a curse that was to slowly drive the couple apart, but today they were still together while the curse was long gone.

"But, yes." Her tone turned to something much more serious. "I will never forget Mustafar again. It was quite the thing we all did." She remembered the rush of battle, the euphoric rush at the right of the Alliance retreating, things that now had an odd aftertaste. It wasn't an outright foul one, but it didn't add anything positive either. "That was when I, and I couldn't have been the only one, realized we weren't the lesser party in the conflict."

"I," the woman fell silent for a short moment, looking for the words she was trying to say. "I would be lying though if I said I wasn't surprised by your answer. It puts some things in perspective." She looked thoughtful, thinking about the fact that perhaps there still were missing pieces of the puzzle of her past out there. Ones that had never been put in place before. "Despite the fact that I couldn't bring myself to commit my entire being to the Ren as it was desired of me, know that I didn't fight alongside you for purely selfish reasons. Even if it was for other people such as Ara, and you too. You know what needs to be done, I have always respected that."

[member="Samka Derith"]