Private A New Dawn

[Valery Noble]

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Location: Spintir | Dawn Temple
Appearance: Link
Tag: Jem Fossk

"As beautiful as it is, I always despised how cold it is up here," Valery joked as a way to get some kind of conversation started. They had just completed the climb up Mount Tellec after leaving behind Frostwall village, but the journey had been very... quiet. She didn't really blame Jem for it all things considered, but helping her was going to be a lot easier if they formed some kind of connection here.

Now they stood in front of the large Dawn Temple, or well, what remained of it. Once built on a large plateau, the purpose of the Dawn Temple was to help Jedi reconnect with the Light Side of the Force through a spiritual journey. But not too much remained of it. Valery had arranged for parts of it to be rebuilt, but it was going to take a lot more time and resources to restore it to what it once was.

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"I'd like to take you inside to look around and talk a bit, find our way forward. But there's a lot more to experience here," Valery continued as she stepped up to the large doors leading into the structure. "This Temple was never really staffed, but the gatekeepers of three holocrons are responsible for different things here. One is about the rehabilitation of Jedi who visit."

"Perhaps it's an idea to meet him as well."

Valery then stopped and looked around the large open hall with large statues on the side and a beautiful fountain in its center. Most Jedi Temples had something serene about them, but the Dawn Temple always felt a little special. Perhaps because of its purpose to help Jedi find their way, or maybe it was just because of her own personal history with this place. Her own journey back into Galactic affairs after her stasis had once started here.

"What do you think?"

 

[Jem Fossk]

The hike up was the easiest part. It was nothing-- pebbles-- to the journey that had come before. Jem wasn't suppose to be alive. She reassured herself that she could still fix that; a simple motion when Valery turned her back and all her pain could be resolved again. Ishida Ashina 's voice ripped through her mind.

Coward.

She swallowed it all back and looked up at Valery.

"What do you think?"

"I'm not a jedi." She didn't mean for the words to be that sharp. They just hurt-- like a dream you could never reach. Her red eyes narrowed and glared into the snow.

If looks could start a fire... she might not be so cold.

"I think you're..." she started, unable to stop herself. The frustration was like a furnace in her chest. It roared. "You're just wasting your time here. Some things can't be fixed."

 

[Valery Noble]

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Location: Spintir | Dawn Temple
Appearance: Link
Tag: Jem Fossk

"I'm not a Jedi."

Valery blinked, turned around, and looked at Jem for a moment. She could feel her frustration pulse in the force, much like the fire of her own internal conflict at times. Then she just smiled and made a gesture to the Temple with her head, "And you won't have to be one if that's the choice you end up making."

She looked back at Jem, her expression mostly neutral, "But that doesn't mean you can't be helped. I'm never wasting my time when I try to help someone — you're only wasting your own if you hold yourself back from trying and committing to this." Again, she looked around at the ruins of the Temple, the cold mountain with Frostwall village at its base, and the valley around it.

"You made the decision to come here, might as well do your best, hm? As long as you do that and stop holding yourself back, nothing will be impossible." She firmly believed this, and it showed in the way she spoke. So many Jedi had come to this place for rehabilitation but even without it, so many fallen Jedi had found their way back.

She knew Jem could too.

 

[Jem Fossk]

Jem snuffed out of her nose. "I meant the town." Had she?

A voice in the back of her head screamed at her to stop being difficult, but it was hard to find the presence of mind to listen as she hitched up her meager bag of belongings and stomped away.

Stop stop stop, it screamed.

Instead she stomped stomped stomped.

 

[Valery Noble]

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Location: Spintir | Dawn Temple
Appearance: Link
Tag: Jem Fossk

"The town, right..." she muttered softly while she watched the young woman. There was still a great deal of turmoil within her, but not beyond what Valery had seen or felt before. All it took was the right approach, and she'd hopefully open up. But right now, she watched as Jem took the anger within and began to move away.

"Jem, stop." Her voice was calm and caring, but clear enough to cut through the cloud of doubt around the girl's mind. She then stepped over to place a hand on her shoulder and looked to make eye contact.

"Please, talk to me about how you really feel. It's just you and I up here, and anything you say can stay between us if it helps. But why don't we find a place to sit down and just... talk?"

 

[Jem Fossk]

Red eyes skirted down, unable to meet Valery's as she tried to reach her. She didn't like the way the woman could appear to see through her, but all it took was a gentle prod for those feelings to spring out.

"You saw the way he looks at me-- He hates me--" She snapped, unable to elaborate further. She couldn't shake Dagon's frigidness from her mind. It haunted her-- crazed her--. She felt like a teetering top. She tried to lock it down, but all she managed to do was stew. The air around her grew stale, that same dark aura from the courtroom slowly swirling into existence again.

She balked and smacked herself to snap out of it. Unsurprisingly the tactic didn't work. If you could wack the darkside out of someone, the jedi would have won years ago.

 

[Valery Noble]

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Location: Spintir | Dawn Temple
Appearance: Link
Tag: Jem Fossk

"Nobody hates you, Jem," Valery said without any doubt or hesitation in her tone. Her words and the way she prodded Jem to open up had the intended effect — her emotions were freely flowing out into the Force, and manifesting physically now as well. To some, this anger and darkness would be overwhelming or even painful, but Valery viewed it as the first step forward.

The woman's arm then slipped around Jem's shoulders, hoping to offer further comfort but also to guide her out of the cold. The ruins of the Temple were a decent shield against the wind, which would make it a far more comfortable place to talk.

"You don't have to hold anything back, not anymore. Whatever it is you feel inside, let it go. Talk to me about it, and I'll be here to listen and help You're not alone, and people do care about you."

 

[Jem Fossk]

Only one thing Val said could reach her in this state, and it was that she was here. It was true and it anchored her against the wash of pain Dagon's look gave her as she played through it on repeat.

Ishadi walking out.

Her replacement's sneer.

"They do, they do." Her voice pitched and strained. She was easy to guide into the warmth, she's feel so small and fragile under the jacket that consumed her. Standing before Valery was half a person and that remained apparent as Jem continued to rabble as she moved her.

"I've ruined everything and I had to-- I had to--" A galaxy saved. That should be enough, but she had never planned to survive long enough to see the expense.

She didn't know how to live with it yet.

"He hates me."

 

[Valery Noble]

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Location: Spintir | Dawn Temple
Appearance: Link
Tag: Jem Fossk

Right now, Valery remained almost entirely quiet. She wanted to give Jem the chance to get anything off her chest without interruptions, and she'd take her into the ruins at the same time. Looking around, she found some pieces of wood and quickly kicked them together before guiding the younger woman to sit down.

A look with her fiery gaze at the wood later, and the two had a warm fire going.

"It's always difficult for a Master to watch their students fall down different paths. We develop strong bonds and to some extent, we're like parental figures as well. But no matter what happens, we never hate our Padawans." Valery sat down close to Jem, offering her any comfort she wanted if any.

"You did what you had to, Jem, and he will understand."

 

[Jem Fossk]

Jem shook her head, unable to envision a future with Dagon's forgiveness in it. In fact she was unable to picture anything, any forward motion remained eclipsed by that soul-sucking reality of what she was.

Corrupted. How could there be anything after that?

Her gaze softened on the fire, pained words sticking on her throat.

"Understand? Maybe. But forget?" She shook her head ahead, growing numb to the feelings Valery had coaxed out. The darkside remained just as present now as it had before, but the more she spoke the less extreme it because. Taking ownership of herself started here, with how she felt.

"No one will. My life is ruined." She curled into her knees, the fire sparking in her grief.

 

[Valery Noble]

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Location: Spintir | Dawn Temple
Appearance: Link
Tag: Jem Fossk

"This isn't about forgetting."

Valery slowly and gently leaned closer, offering to move an arm around Jem's shoulders to offer some comfort, "Forgetting the bad things in life just means we're doomed to repeat our mistakes. This is about change and accepting the things that happened and decisions that were made. If you do that, others will too. But it starts with you,"

She turned her gaze to the fire and let out a soft sigh.

"My husband was once Sith, and in a very similar position as you were in. He still carries those past mistakes with him, but he has done a lot to change himself, and be a better person or Jedi for others too." Whenever she talked about him, her smile would carry a warm feeling into the Force that was hard to ignore.

"I know you can do the same."

 

[Jem Fossk]

Jem didn't see it, then again she could barely see past her own nose.

Some things would just have to be discovered the hard way. For now, the act of coming was enough for today. Jem curled in tighter and stewed, the fire dancing across her vision as Valery laid an arm over her.

It didn't do much, but Jem stayed.

That was a start.

 

[Valery Noble]

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Location: Spintir | Dawn Temple
Appearance: Link
Tag: Jem Fossk

Looking down at the younger woman, Valery smiled softly and allowed the silence to linger. There wasn't going to be more progress today, and trying to force things to change too quickly would never work. So for now, she accepted the fact that Jem hadn't walked away yet, and the coming days or weeks would hopefully have her open up even more.

...
A few days later.

"The caves shouldn't be too far," Valery said as she walked through the thick layers of snow with Jem right beside her. "I'm sure you've heard of Force nexus before, but the Caves of Light and Shadow are... different." Jem could likely feel it already — the clash between light and dark up ahead.

"These challenge you the way a Dark Side Nexus can, but there is also a strange sense of comfort. To find your peace within this place requires balance." It was likely going to be quite difficult, but she wanted to give it a shot with Jem. Either she'd get overwhelmed by the darker whispers, or she'd be able to set them aside. Either way, Valery would be there to help her through it.

"Oh and uh, there are sometimes dangerous ice wolves. But I can handle those if they show themselves."

 

[Jem Fossk]

Jem stomach twisted in apprehension.

Coming to the temple was simple in retrospect. It was just a choice and a walk up. There had been very little conflicting forces involved in Jems recovery so far. She wanted to believe it could remain like that, but she knew what today was for. She was afraid. She had spent the better part of months staring down the darkness and losing.

Who was to say she could manage it today?

She scattered after Valery and managed to say with conviction. "Just tell me what to do." And she'd try. She had to. She didn't want to be this person anymore.

 

[Valery Noble]

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Location: Spintir | Dawn Temple
Appearance: Link
Tag: Jem Fossk

"Just follow me," Valery told her as she moved into the caves and looked around. She wasn't sure if Jem noticed in the contention between Light and Dark, but they weren't alone inside. It wasn't another Jedi or Sith, but one of the ice wolves had moved away from its den, and watched them from the darkness.

It was the sad reality about these caves — the darker forces that flowed here could not be resisted by animals, and so the wolves of the mountain were often incredibly dangerous. She'd keep an eye out on it, though.

"Sit down, close your eyes and focus on your breathing for a moment," Valery said, and she did the same thing. She lowered into a lotus position and watched the young woman closely, "If you reach out into the Force, you may feel something warm and calming; the Light. But there's a cold edge to it that seeks to push into your mind; the Dark."

"Once you let it in, you'll feel comfort in what it can offer, but you become a slave to its own will. It's something that you have to resist, no matter how easy it is to just give in, or how tempting it is to accept what it can offer. Fight against this darkness, Jem, and ignore the whispers."