Private A Shoulder To Punch

[Sam Sheridan]

Kashyyyk/Jedi Temple​

Midday/Clear skies​

Sam was livid to say the least. The headache from the double stun bolts had worn off but she was still enraged. In the place of the sun bolt's hangover was a new headache. One that came along with a knot in her throat whenever her mind went back to what happened. And unfortunately, it kept happening whenever she didn't have something to keep her busy. Her ship was entirely trashed with blaster marks in more than a few areas. Sam was a mess, dirty and defeated. Her puffy red eyes was pretty much permanently affixed in a scowl. Her droid merely hid away from her, only appearing when she asked for something. That also bothered Sam. The fact that even her damn droid was afraid of her and that was the last thing she wanted.

She plotted a course for Kashyyyk. In her state she only had one person that she could talk to. And right now she really needed to talk to him. On the way there she managed to drag herself through the shower and put on some clean clothing. But visually she was still a mess. Her hair was a disaster and her physical appearance simply looked down.

The ship touched down and Sam disembarked. She ignored the surprised looks people were giving her as she approached some kind of masked guard dressed in white. "Oi kriffer! I'm looking for Cas Tynen. Can you go look for him?" she asked him rather curtly. Her glare only hardened when the guard's blank mask stared back at her without any reaction. "Listen bucko! I'm asking you a question. Now go get that dreadlocked bastard or else I'll go in there myself!" she shouted at him which seemed to get some kind of reaction out of him. He reached for his weapon and Sam returned the gesture, resting a hand on her holstered pistol. "Karking try it, buddy!" she barked at him, taking a step back.

Her shouting seemed to catch attention from a number of people around the area, some thankfully rushing off to go find him while others were trying to keep the woman from literally losing her head...

Cadere

 

[Cadere]

Cas knew all about the breakup that took place between his two friends - not long before, he had received a holocall from Mathieu explaining what had happened and to keep an eye on her, the guy looked pretty beat up... which, knowing Sam, wasn't at all a surprise. He just hoped that wherever he was going, he'd be okay.

Inside his private quarters at Silver Rest, with Yenna off on an assignment of her own, he had time to contact Sam and see how she was doing. However, before he could even pick up his holocomm he heard his door knock. Scratching at his temple, he raised an eyebrow as he wondered why someone would need him. Cas walked over to his door and pressed a single button on a panel on the wall next to the door, as it slid open, he saw a Padawan standing in front of him. "Uhh...?" he started before seeing the worried look on her face.

"Master Tynen, there's a woman asking for you. Auburn haired and foul mouthed - she seems really angry?" she asked. Running a hand through his dreadlocks, he sighed before heading over to his bed, picking up and putting his white jacket on - Sam was here? She must have been taking it harder than he thoughT, especially if she was causing a ruckus with everyone else. He accompanied the Padawan to where she was, walking at a swift pace.

Being led to the Temple's entrance, the Kiffar gritted his teeth as he cringed at the sight before him - Sam Sheridan, squaring off with some Temple Guards with other Jedi trying to defuse the situation. Patting the Padawan's shoulder, signalling for her to head back inside, he quickly rushed toward the commotion and stopped in between Sam and the Temple Guards with his arms stretched out to separate them "Easy, easy everyone. I know everyone loves me but this is a little ridiculous!" he quipped hoping to lighten up the situation "Relax guys, I know her." he addressed the Temple Guards with a serious expression. Once the situation was handled and everyone dispersed, he finally turned to face her with a sympathetic frown Bet I can guess why you're here?"

Sam Sheridan

 

[Sam Sheridan]

Even with the other Jedi trying to keep her back, she kept fighting and pushing against them to get to the temple guard. She was a few seconds away from drawing her weapon when Cas pushed in between them, trying to defuse the situation. "Why don't you tell your buddy here to stop kriffing himself with his lightsaber and learn grow a pair!" she shouted over him before looking to Cas.

Her breathing slowed as she glared at him then at the temple guard again. "Yeah I'm here to tell this kriffer that this is why his family abandoned him here to begin with!" she shouted at him again before finally pacing around a bit to cool off.

"You got any place we can talk without spineless skugs like him listening in?" she asked him with a more agreeable tone. Once they were away from everyone else, she'd light a cigarette and take a long drag, not caring one bit over if it was allowed or not. "He broke up with me, Cas. I went out of my way to try and cool off, to try and get my life in order and to make it work...and it still wasn't enough." she admitted after a long silence. She ran a hand through her messy hair and took another drag. "And to crown it all off, I mag-dumped his ass. Felt damn good too until he stunned my ass and left me to realize just what a limp-dick move that was of me." she continued softly, clearly regretting her decisions.

She took another puff and leaned against the wall. "I'm struggling here, Cas. He's the first real good thing that's happened in my life in years and now here I am." she muttered, staring at the floor. "I need help. I want to get rid of this...pain...but no matter how much I drink, shoot or wreck my ship, it's sitting there. I hate it. I hate feeling like this." she admitted, her voice cracking slightly.

She walked up to him and pressed her forehead against his chest, using him to try and soothe her headache.

Cadere

 

[Cadere]

Sam wasn't helping the situation with her insults, so instead he turned his head round and simply glared at her with an expression telling her to reign it in. With everything calming down, she of course had to get one final word in prompting Cas to pinch the bridge of his nose - "Look, Sam. We're pals, but you can't just show up here and yell at everyone." he lectured.

Answering her question, he looked around the area before awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck "I guess we could go back to my quarters." it was probably the most private place but, he felt funny inviting others into his personal space. Leading her inside the temple and to the dormitories, Cas opened the door to his room and allowed her to step inside first "'Scuse the mess, I wasn't expecting any visitors today." before reaching to open a window when Sam lit a cigarette, earning her a head shake. Moving to stand in between his couch and bed, he listened to what she had to say before responding with an "I know, I'm sorry."

He finally found out why Mathieu looked so beat up during their call, his whack job of a friend, and he meant that with love, shot at him in anger. Love... was weird. Empathetic, knowing exactly how she felt and how he got through it, he didn't have the heart to tell her there was no way to rush a broken heart and that to simply get better, you had to give it time. Relaxing his hands into his pockets, he sighed "Sammy, I--" although he was cutoff when she unsuspectingly approached him and rested her head on his chest.

Slowly, he removed his hands from his pockets and wrapped his arms round her, using one of his hands to comfortingly rub her back "It sucks for me to say... " he paused, feeling guilty for what he was about to say "I know this'll hurt too but sometimes... people just grow apart, y'know? It's no one's fault, just a fact of life." he informed her, using his own experiences post-breakup to advise her. Looking down at her, he gently cupped his hands over her cheeks and softly tilted her head to meet his eyes, smiling at her he said "Who knows, maybe with some time apart and when you both have grown and evolved - maybe you guys can give it another shot?" reassuring her "Everything'll be okay, in time. I promise." he concluded, lowering his hands back into a hug.

Sam Sheridan

 

[Sam Sheridan]

Sam flinched a bit when his arms wrapped around her but she quickly relaxed, taking a deep breath and pressing her face more into his clothing. He tried to give her some words of wisdom bt it didn't help at all to ease what she was feeling. She let him lift her head up to look into her pained eyes. Tears were threatening to roll but she was fighting them back every step of the way. She remained quiet, merely listening to what he had to say before pressing her face back into his chest. "... My cig's dead." she muttered softly, slipping the nip back into her pocket to not make a mess of his place.

She stayed in that position, leaning against him and trying to find comfort in his words and embrace. A sniff escaped her which was quickly followed up with a cough as she held her emotions back. Out of nowhere she pushed herself off him and gripped the sides of her head. "No. I'm not... I... kark's sake." she spoke to herself as she kept fighting it back. "I'm not some karking school girl crying over her ex! You hear me!?" she shouted at him with a cracking voice as she looked at him with a scowl. "I'm not..." she tried to talk, but her voice faltered with a choke.

She turned and lightly smacked her head against the wall. A shaky breath escaped her before she walked back to Cas and wrapped her arms around him, pressing her face back into his chest. Her walls finally came crashing down as quiet sobs and whimpers escaped her. She held onto him with everything she had while she cried into his chest. Years of bottled up emotions all came flooding out of her as she kept her face hidden from his gaze. Her left fist came up and gave a hard punch to his shoulder but not for one moment did she let go. Finally after what felt like an eternity for her, she pulled back and gave one last sniff. "You tell anyone about this... I'll kill you." she threatened him softly before clearing her throat.

She looked around then to the floor, then back to him. "I uh... I got a favour to ask." she started with a hint of embarrassment. "My ship's trashed. Do you... do you got a place for me to stay for a bit?" she asked him. "As well as a drink. I'd kill for one right now."

Cadere

 

[Cadere]

Frowning slightly that his words didn't seem to have an affect on Sam, he still didn't let that discourage him from trying to help her. He wanted to make a joke about her cigarette going out but it wasn't the right time, so instead, he just held her for a few moments until she began physically trying to keep her emotions in check despite the Force betraying her, Cas could sense her anguish.

Cas took a step back, nearly stumbling as she pushed herself off of him in a surprising manner. Holding his hands up slightly, he tried to reassure her again "Sam, you're allowed to be upset... you're human. Let yourself feel these things, it may help instead of trying to force them down." advising her in a calm and collected tone, surprising himself how deep his voice could go when he was actually serious. After her small freak out, she was back in his arms again, letting out a quiet exhale he patted her back gently until he started feeling moisture in his chest... she was... crying? That was a strange sight but he was pleased that she was allowing herself to express her emotions. When she finally pulled her head back to look at him, a small smirk formed on his face as he let out a snicker through his nostrils "No one would believe me anyway." Cas quipped.

Raising an eyebrow at the question she was going to ask, his eyes then widened at what she had requested. "Oh." his lips parting slightly, he gritted his teeth and exhaled deeply - holding the back of his neck he relented "I.... guess you could stay here... in my room." Cas answered, prolonging his 'I' as he said so. While he loved his personal space, he wanted to help his friend. Her next question though was a difficult one, Cas interlaced his fingers and glaned away "I don't drink unless its special occasions but... I know a place we can get you something. Wait here."

Without saying anything else, he left his room and trekked down the dormitories to Yenna's room. He felt guilty about this, but she'd understand in time. Unlocking Yenna's quarters with a code she had given him a few months prior, he entered before shaking his head at the mess his Padawan had left it in before she left. Heading to her bedside table, he found an opened bottled of Tevraki whiskey before taking it he left Yenna a note of apology before exiting and returning to his own quarters. Raising the bottle, showing it off to Sam, he shook it off slightly "Surpriiiiise, don't say I don't ever do anything for you." he said while flashing her a wink. Handing the bottle over to her, he leaned against his door and folded his arms "Please don't trash my room in your sad, drunken state." he pleaded.

Sam Sheridan

 

[Sam Sheridan]

A small smile formed on Sam's lips when he offered to let her stay in his room. "Just a day or two. I just wanna get my ship cleaned up and livable again... and get my mind back in the game." she explained, hoping it would make him feel more at ease. She understood that it wasn't a comfortable decision for him. She felt even better when he ran off and returned with a bottle of whiskey.

Taking the bottle from him, she read the label as she dropped onto his couch. "Jedi order must be swimming in cash if you can afford this brand. Jeez, I only get stuff this expensive for my birthday." she commented before opening the bottle and taking a sip. "Holy kark, that's better than good." she quipped with a satisfied sigh. Looking back to him, she motioned for him to join her on the couch before leaning against him.

With her head on his shoulder she took another swig and simply enjoyed his company. "Thanks, Cas. For the drink, the help... everything. It... it really means a lot. It helps." she muttered, snuggling a bit more into him. She drank another sip before offering him the bottle. "I hate this. This pain. Death is easy to understand. I've had a bunch of friends die. Even with Kaa's death, I knew it wasn't my fault. And I understood that's it's over and done. But this... it feels worse somehow." she admitted softly as she glanced up at him.

"I feel empty." she continued, snatching back the bottle and taking a hard swig. With a heavy sigh she pushed herself more into him and relaxed. "I'm just gonna sit here for a bit if you don't mind." she quipped.

Cadere

 

[Cadere]

A day or two didn't seem so bad... in fact, it was quite bearable - Cas just hoped one of the reasons Mathieu had broken up with her was because of what it was like to live with her... if it was the case, he'd be in for a long couple of days.

Cas shrugged at her assumption that the Concord was swimming in cash, although he did wonder how Yenna got her hands on that particular brand... but then it hit him: Adrian. The eccentric Jedi had probably bought it for her as a gift or something - Cas cringed at the thought, if it were true, Yenna was going to be pissed that he took it from her room. Instead of answering Sam's question, he just gave her a fake, awkward smile.

Joining Sam on the couch, as she rested her head on his shoulder he simply stared out the window - which had a cool feature allowing it to display holographic views to simulate he was in the area, currently he had it on Zeltros' city lights. Still staring at the 'view' he waved off her thanks "It's nothing. Honestly. I'll just add it to your growing tab of things you owe me for." he said, turning to her with a wink and a smile "Kidding." he quickly relented. Cas' smile would quickly fade when his friend mentioned her distraught feelings, he gently averted his gaze and resumed watching the window, subtly refusing the bottle. What could he say? Could he even say anything? Anything other than "I'm sorry, Sam." in a quiet but sympathetic tone.

"Yeah, that's fine." he said softly, changing the window's holographic settings to a calming sunset. There was a brief silence, before a small smile formed on his face "Hey, don't get too drunk... don't want you throwing yourself at me again." he ordered, chuckling as he said so. Shifting his head to face her slightly, he began to speak again "Also, if we're gonna be roommates I gotta lay down some ground rules. 1.) Don't touch my stuff 2.) Don't trash my room. 3.) No smoking, if your'e gonna do it do it outside." he demanded, half-quipping before moving onto the next topic "When you're feeling ready to move, I'm gonna set a makeshift bed up if that's cool? You can have my bed for the time being." he assured her. While he didn't have much, Cas had simply planned to make a bed for himself on some loose bed sheets he hadn't used yet, he wasn't looking forward to it but, hard surfaces were good for the back.

Sam Sheridan

 

[Sam Sheridan]

Sam wasn't one for excessive physical contact unless it was to beat someone up. But simply being able to sit with Cas was helping her feel a bit better. She smiled slightly at his joke, taking another long swig of the whiskey to spite him. "That might be a problem now, all things considered." she teased before staring at the window again. She had to admit that she might be stealing it if she had to leave again.

She looked back to him as he laid out his rules for her. "I know how to behave. Though I think smoking outside is a terrible idea with how many kids are running around here." she joked softly. "Don't worry. I don't feel like smoking so much these days." she admitted. She sat up and shook her head at the mention of giving her the bed. "Nah keep your bed. I can camp out on the couch. It's only for a couple days, anyway. I'm more than fine just making a bed on the couch." she assured him. Sitting back, she snuggled back into him. She took one last sip before putting the bottle aside. The silence between them was rather awkward and she was really liking her current position. Glancing up at him, she cleared her throat and got up. "I'll be on my ship. Need to get my stuff together. Is there a shop or something you guys grab your dinner or how do you guys eat around here?" she asked him.

With everything set she returned to her ship for a while, getting her essentials into a bag and starting her cleanup work. It took a while, mostly due to Sam taking her time and trying to relax, but finally she returned to Cas' room and set up a spot on the couch for herself to sleep. "Alright. How does dinner work? Do I need to go modify some sheets for robes to be let in?" she asked with a smirk as she looked back at him.

Cadere

 

[Cadere]

Cas whipped his head round to face her "Oh now you care about the kids? That wasn't the case earlier." he teased with a playful smile. His gaze remained on her when she told him to keep his bed, shooting her a puzzled look he didn't know how to react - was he supposed to press further for her to take his bed while he slept somewhere else or? Ultimately he shrugged and let her do what she wanted it "Whatever you say, boss.".

The Kiffar nodded "Let me help you." he offered, getting out of the seat and offering her his hand. Once she took it, he'd accompany her back to her ship to get all the things she needed. When they were finished she asked him about food again, prompting him to fold his arms and raise an eyebrow "We have a refectory." he answered with a look conveying as if it were obvious "But you're good, I would've been kicked out a long time ago if that were the case." he said, returning the joke as he motioned to his style of clothing. Narrowing his gaze onto the time displayed on his computer at his desk - Sam was in luck, now was about the time dinner was served anyway.

Cas jerked his head in the direction of the door "Come on." he said as he headed toward the door. When she followed, Cas would lead her to the Temple's refectory on the ground floor. To his surprise, the hall wasn't as packed as usual which was lucky... as he wasn't sure if he was willing to deal with a hangry Sam, he already had enough issues with the Jedi here, he didn't need anymore. Wrapping an arm around her shoulder, he used his other one and gestured to the whole area "Here it is, where us Jedi eat our food. Remember, these are trade secrets so don't tell anyone about our eating habits." he joked, before walking further towards the serving area, he was eager to see what they were serving.

When he reached the serving area, Cas' face turned into a frown, to his dismay, the refectory wasn't serving anything he liked. Was it too late to order in?

Sam Sheridan

 

[Sam Sheridan]

She accepted his hand, both loving and hating the gesture. She loved the calming feeling the physical affection gave her but at the same time she also hated the fact that she became so soft. Though she decided to push the annoyance aside and simply cherished the fact that she had someone that she could talk to over this stuff. Having friends who weren't a bunch of junkies was nice.

Back in his room she shot him a look at his blunt statement, though it quickly disappeared with a smile as he continued about his choice of clothing. "Good to know. I'm terrible at dressing up for dinner." she joked as she accompanied him. His arm wrapped around her shoulder and her snaked around his side as they walked together to the refectory. His explanation was rather obvious as they entered the building, earning a scoff. "I thought this was the super secret Jedi nightclub." she quipped rather sarcastically as she joined him at the line to get food. She smirked at the look of his face, clearly he wasn't very happy. She didn't mind it at all. Any food that didn't kill her was a win in her book.

Grabbing a plate she piled on the food and grabbed a drink before walking back to him. "You frown any harder, it might just eat you back." she joked as she found them a seat. As she ate away, she glanced around the place. There was one aspect that was annoying her to hell and back. The silence.

Aside from some idle chatter and chewing noises, it was quiet. Sam shivered slightly before shoving another serving into her mouth. "How the kark do you guys eat like this?" she asked him. "Like it's dead quiet. If I had to eat like this every day of my life, I would have rigged the intercom to play music all day." she commented, glancing at him. "Like serious, this silence is deafening." she quipped, giving a light chuckle before eating another bite.

In no time at all she slid an empty plate over to him and sat back, finishing her drink. "If you don't finish that, I will. It's really not too bad." she commented, turning to face him as she eyed his plate.

Cadere

 

[Cadere]

His lips quirked ever so slightly at Sheridan's joke, but it quickly fell to a frown "May as well." he retorted with a shrug. Despite being a glutton, he had standards. Begrudgingly, he stacked some of the meh food on his plate before accompanying Sam to an empty table and sat beside her, taking a bite out of his food, he made a sour face and shook his head violently "Aw, man." he muttered to himself before continuing to eat his sloppy dinner.

As someone who liked to talk a lot, he could see Sam's issues with the silence - he struggled with it too during his first few months at Silver Rest, but eventually he just learned it was the way things were around here. While his attention was still focused on his food, Cas would still answer her "It is what it is. I just tell jokes in my head to pass the time." he said chuckling before turning his attention to her "Check it out, I got one! What does a liar do when dead?.... They lie still." he joked, delivering the punchline in a stifled laugh before finally letting it out.

Wiping a fake tear from under his eye, he let out a pleasant sigh before frowning at his dinner. He really wasn't enjoying it. Taking up her offer, Cas casually slid the plate over to Sam "Go ahead, I've got some snacks stashed away in my quarters anyway." smirking as he said so. When Sam finally finished her food, he took her back to his quarters before locking the door behind him as Kashyyyk entered its late evening hours, once in his room he took his jacket off, kicked off his boots and headed over to his bed before plopping himself on to the untidy bed sheets.

Rolling onto his back, he lifted his head up to meet her "So, like, you got a bedtime... or? I don't know how to do this, never really had a sleepover before." he pondered. This was strange to him, with a friend... especially one that was going through a heartbreak he wasn't exactly sure on what they would do for the night - it was easier with Tess, if you could count on the stuff they did as a 'sleepovers'. Expressing sympathy, he glanced away "You okay?" Cas asked, hoping that him checking on her didn't stir up bad feelings again.

Sam Sheridan

 

[Sam Sheridan]

Sam tried not to laugh, but his joke was just so bad that a snort escaped her. Shaking her head, she continued with her dinner. To her delight he gave up on his meal and passed it onto her. She quickly polished that as well and passed the empty plate back to him. They went back to his quarters and she smirked as he collapsed onto his bed. He asked about her sleeping habits and she simply gave a shrug. "Nah, I just hit the sack whenever I feel like it. Don't worry, I'll go to bed when you do. I won't keep you up." she answered simply as she sat down on the couch to get rid of her boots and holsters. Immediately she removed the power cells from her pistols before placing one of them under her pillow.

She looked back to him as he asked his next question, her mood dropping again. "I'll be okay." she answered softly. "I just hate feeling like this. Soft, squishy, emotional." she admitted with annoyance again, trying to keep her mind from going back to the reason why she felt like that. "What sucks most is it won't go away and that's the most annoying part. I guess I just need something to take my mind off it." she continued with a chuckle, glancing at him. Getting up, she grabbed her toiletries and glanced around for the bathroom. "I'm gonna catch a shower, I'll be back in a bit." she said as she walked off, tossing her towel over her shoulder. She stayed in there for a long while, letting the warm water soothe her mind... or trying to let it do that. For the most part she battled more with her mind as she held her head under the water's spray.

Finally emerging, she was dressed in her tank top and underwear with her hair a wet mess. She finished drying it and hung up her towel before crawling into her makeshift bed. "Mind tossing me some of those snacks you were bragging about?" she asked him from between her sheets. After that, it didn't take long for her to pass out but her slumber was short-lived. With heavy breaths she woke up after an hour or two, instinctively reaching for her pistol.

After calming down and letting go, she relaxed and tried to go back to sleep, but it wouldn't happen. She felt an urge that made her hate herself but she pushed it aside as she got out of bed. Without hesitation she got out of bed and climbed in beside Cas, not caring all that much if she woke him up. Right now all she needed was a friend. "I feel better having you close." she muttered softly as she tucked herself in and tried to relax again, with much better results.

Cadere

 

[Cadere]

Cas rolled back onto his front, planting his face on his soft pillow, he let out a muffled snicker at her answer "Nice." he said through the pillow, the Kiffar raised his head slightly and faced his head board "Thanks for being a tolerable roommate so far." he teased before resting his face back into the pillow. However, when she began answering his next question Cas pushed himself up and twisted his body round to meet Sam's gaze, lips lowering at hearing she still felt bad. Scratching the back of his head, Cas tried to lighten the mood slightly "Yeah, it be like that. I say that from experience." he quipped, placing one hand to his chest and raising the other in the air.

The Jedi lazily nodded and motioned towards the bathroom after. As Sam took her shower, Cas laid in bed and stared at the ceiling aimlessly for a couple minutes, before sighing and swiftly sitting up into a seated position. Cas reached his legs over his bed before standing up and taking his attire off, plopping them on the floor. In nothing but some sweatpants he threw on, Cas' lean physique leapt back into bed before throwing the sheets over his shoulders and snuggling up against his pillow.

When his heartbroken friend returned from her shower, his brown eyes looked up at her, scanning her get-up - a teasing smirk formed on his face but he didn't say anything. He didn't say anything about the snacks except for rolling to the end of his bed and reaching over it - his fingers stretched out, Cas reached to some snacks under his bed with his link to the Force and summoned it into the air before playfully hurling a bag of cookies at the back of her head. It wasn't hard enough to hurt but it was hard enough where the connection made a funny noise "Night, Sammy." he said cheekily as he got comfortable in his bed. And within seconds, he was gone - snoring lightly and quietly.

The Jedi's dreams were plagued with hazy visions. Images flashing of a dark, unseen figure. The Dark side swirled around them like a black fog, frozen in place, Cas was forced to watch as the figure drained on his life force.

Cas jolted awake, inhaling loudly but quickly - he was covered in his own panicked sweat. Panting quietly, Cas sat up slowly and cradled his head in his hands before letting out a deep exhale. Cas moved his leg slightly and he felt it touch another, softer and warmer. Pulling his head away from his hands, he cautiously turned his head over to look next to him - Sam was in his bed... what? A fake smirk formed on his face as he quipped in a whisper "It's too late for a booty call." was what Sam was doing crossing some kind of friendship boundary? Was it crossing a boundary between him and Mat? "What's going on?" he asked.

Sam Sheridan

 

[Sam Sheridan]

Understandably, Cas was a little caught off guard. Though at least he didn't kick her out or something which she appreciated. He made a joke but Sam merely scoffed in her tired state. "Clearly you've never been one then." she muttered softly, pulling the sheets off her head and rolling over to glance at him. She glanced away at his question, embarrassed by her reason for climbing in his bed.

After several seconds she sat upright beside him, pulling the sheets along to cover herself up. "I had a bad dream." she muttered, still not looking at him as she hugged herself. "Doctor told me it's 'post-traumatic stress' but I don't give a kark what it's called. All I know is that I get these karking nightmares that throw me right back to places I'd rather forget. I haven't had one in a while. But since Matt left... it feels like it's back to normal again. I'd zone out for no reason, thinking I'm seeing people on my ship. Or I'd get a dream that puts me right back into Underworld." she explained to him, her eyes glued to her lap. She shook her head and cleared her throat. "Though for some reason this time I kept feeling like I need someone to watch my back." she finally admitted, glancing at him.

Her eyes drifted up to his chest, studying the Sith mark engraved into his skin in the moonlight. She finally looked him in the eye, a tired and battered gaze studying him. "Is it just me losing my edge or do you get them as well? Dreams or moments that just throw you back to where you got that?" she asked him softly as she nodded to the scar.

After a few seconds she got out of bed again and picked up the packet of cookies he threw at her, bringing it back to the bed before sliding back in beside him. Looking down at it, she studied it for a few moments, then looked up at him. With a faint smile she brought it up and gently tossed it against the side of his head. "Payback." she muttered gently as she opened up the packet and held it to him to take a cookie.

Cadere

 

[Cadere]

Snickering through his nostrils at Sam's quick wit, he gave her a half-smile before answering back "That obvious, huh?" with a shrug. He hadn't been with anyone since Tess... or before, as a matter of fact, so he was aware that his relative 'inexperience' showed. His smile quickly faded, his playful look replaced by inquisitiveness at the reason why she hadn't answered his question.

It didn't take long for her to change her mind though - she'd had a bad dream, Cas hadn't really pegged Sam for the type to let bad dreams effect her like that. Once she elaborated further, revealing she had PTSD it began to all make sense - of course, why wouldn't she have it after all the bantha crap she's been through in her life. Shooting her an apologetic look, his brown eyes would do all of the talking to express how he sympathised with her - he lightly pinched her arm with his cold, metallic hand and smiled weakly "Come on, Sheridan. Don't get soft on me now." he whispered playfully.

The young Knight noticed her eyes lower to the scar on his chest which he subtly covered with the palm of his flesh hand, he clenched his jaw and glanced away at her question about his own nightmares. Although he felt he was over the whole incident with Quizitus, he still didn't like to talk about it. Falling into the trap that was his tendency to overthink things, he hadn't noticed Sam leave the bed to grab the bag of cookies, only returning to reality when he felt the bag lightly impact his head. Blinking a numerous amount of times, he turned to look at Sam who was holding the bag out to him, smiling he reached inside "Touche." he said.

Taking a small bite, making sure to savour the cookie instead of wolfing it down - Cas glanced forward. Swallowing, he would answer her previous question "I get them too. Not only from past trauma... but future trauma too." he muttered glumly, rubbing his eyes as he said so and intentionally not elaborating on his gift and curse of precognition. He grinned, snickering to myself "Underneath my jokes and my cockiness, I'm scared. As a Jedi, I've seen, done and had so many things done to me where sometimes... I wonder when I'm gonna snap and fall to the Dark side. I know you won't understand this, not properly but... I've always strayed too close, struggled to keep my urges in check..." he revealed "Honestly, I'm just counting down the days to when it happens." he concluded, raising a knee up and resting an arm on it. This vision he had had, was beginning to take a serious effect on him

Sam Sheridan

 

[Sam Sheridan]

Sam glanced down at his hand as he gave her a light pinch. Staring at it for a second, she thought over what he said. She was getting soft. Usually she would just drown out the nightmares with as much alcohol as she could handle or do something else to push it aside. Usually she wouldn't give a damn about what people thought of her or what repercussions her choices held. Usually she would be one hard queen. But since she met Matt... it all changed. She could relax and just be herself. She knew she could trust him with that. But with him gone, it left a big existential issue in her life. She slowly lifted her hand and took hold of his cybernetic palm, giving it a hard squeeze as she gave a weak smile. "That was the idea, remember?" she quipped. It was the truth. She burned people alive, massacred her old gang, laid waste to everyone who might have had some sort of leverage over her. All to just have a normal life with Matt. Getting soft and lightening up was her sole mission for the past year and now it was all for nothing. A thought that sparked a new revelation in her mind...

She snapped out of her thoughts as he spoke up again. She let go of his hand and ate a cookie as well as she listened to him talk. "As if knowing you karked up in the past isn't bad enough. Now you gotta know you might kark up in the future as well. Hard to believe you're not an alcoholic yet." she quipped as she ate another cookie, staring ahead of them.

He then opened up to her completely, letting her in on what was bothering him the most. She stared at him with concerned eyes, trying to think of how to cheer him up. In truth, she didn't know a thing about the Jedi aside from what he told her. She certainly didn't know anything about the Force, not that she was religious to begin with. She put the packet aside and turned to face him, placing a hand on his cheek to make sure he looked at her. "Listen, you might be a jackass but you're a good person. You hear me? I told you before, you're a rare guy and a good person. Don't lose that. And who gives a kark about urges, you wanna have some fun then have fun. You're old enough to know right from wrong. Just stay true to who you are." she spoke with authority, staring hard into his eyes. She pulled her hand back a bit and gave him a light slap on the cheek. "That's so you remember it." she finished, letting her hand drop to his shoulder.

She studied him for a second more before wrapping her arms around him in a powerful hug. "You're my only friend in the galaxy, Cas. I don't want to lose you too." she whispered as she held him. She finally let go and stared at him for several moments. "It's too early for a rebound, right?" she asked him with a gentle chuckle, raising an eyebrow as she looked him over.

Cadere

 

[Cadere]

She quipped at his comment about her going soft, he felt bad after though. "Right..." he bit his lip and looked her in the eye "But you can still do it on your own." he tried to assure her, once she had healed from her heartbreak he was certain that she'd eventually manage to accomplish her originally goals - just without Mathieu. Then again, who knew what the future held, he held the hope they'd return to each other, he was an optimist after all.

He unconsciously nodded at her reply, it truly was a burden to be able to see vague impressions of the future. Taking a final bite of his cookie, he was kicking himself at spilling his guts to Sam - she was the one going through it right now, and here he was slipping up and confessing his own fears and phobias. He wished he hadn't said anything. But... to his surprise, he felt her hand on his cheek as it directed his face toward hers - he watched her intently with sad eyes as she gave him a pep talk. When she concluded, a weak smile began to form but his head bounced in reaction to her light slap.

Frowning at her for a brief moment, a bigger smile etched on his face - he appreciated her kind words, and he found it humorous that she thought by urges were 'fun' related when he actually meant... never mind, a story for another time. Reciprocating her hug "You won't lose me." he assured her "... and thank you." he added, as she let go of him. He noticed her eyes linger on him, his eyes quickly darted to both sides before landing back on Sam again "There something on my face?" he wondered before she elaborated.

What she said made Cas' heart race. He always had some underlying attraction for her but he didn't want to ruin their friendship, and now with his own budding friendship with Mat - he couldn't do that to him. Biting his lower lip softly, what he was about to do wasn't nearly as bad though even though he'd regret it equally the same. Leaning in slowly, Cas planted a soft lingering kiss on her lips before pulling away "Definitely too early." he stated with a grin and sultry tone "But... hope this helps at least." he concluded flashing her a wink. Yep, he definitely regretted it and he welcomed the karma that'd come from it but if it made Sam feel even a little better, he wouldn't regret that in the slightest.

Sam Sheridan

 

[Sam Sheridan]

She wasn't sure what she expected, but in her messed up state, his actions helped a ton to fill the void the breakup left in her. Her more selfish and reckless side told her to take it further, but those thoughts were quickly shoved down. As she pulled back from the kiss, she looked at him with a glimmer in her eyes.

Wordlessly, she handed him one last cookie while slipping one into her own mouth before tucking herself into her side of his bed. "Goodnight, Cas." she muttered gently with a smile in her voice. The whirlwind of emotions in her seemed to calm a bit as she slowly fell asleep again.

Though this time, she managed to have a decent night's sleep. Even with all the crap she had going on, at least she could rely on him. He would certainly not be able to fix her wounded state, but at the end of the day, she had a friend.

Cadere

 

[Cadere]

When clarity returned and upon realising what he had done, he winced internally at the thought of where Sam might take this, even sensing the debate within her as they kissed. Surprisingly, she said nothing but he accepted the cookie nonetheless and took it from her had calmly but without hesitation.

Taking a bite, he watched her as she laid back down to go to sleep. He smiled as he watched her small frame begin to relax into sleep before turning away, he continued eating and eventually finished off his cookie afterwards "Night, Sam." he said softly, fully aware she wouldn't hear it.

The Jedi Knight spent the next few hours awake and in deep-thought, pondering the advice Sam had given him he smiled to himself. He wondered... after everything he'd been through, maybe it wasn't the makings of a new Sith Lord but... hopefully the makings of a Jedi Master. He'd have to remain optimisitc, laying back down he turned over with his back facing Sam and in regards to her, he was certain that this was the beginning of her road to recovering from her heartbreak.

//End thread​

Sam Sheridan