Popo
I'm Sexy and I Know It
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the heat flue with care,
In hopes that St. [member="Tefka"] soon would be there;
The Jawas were nestled all snug in their beds;
While visions of junk piles danced in their heads;
And [member="Spencer Jacobs"] in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the viewscreen I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer,
With a little old driver so lively and spiff,
I knew in a moment he must be St. Tef.
More rapid than reports his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, [member="Alric Kuhn"]! now, [member="Asemir Lor'kora"]! now [member="Cira"] and [member="Fabula Caromed"]!
On, [member="Kana Truden"]! on, [member="Kyra Sol"] on, [member="Lorelei Darke"] and [member="Sarge Potteiger"]!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So up to the housetop the coursers they flew
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Tefka too—
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Tefka came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a pedler just opening his pack.
His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the false beard on his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a e-cig he held tight in his teeth,
And the vape, it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was husky and short, a right jolly old Tef
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
He hefted his Banhammer and up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”
The story doesn't end there at a happy occasion,
But later we were visited, a veritable invasion.
A disgruntled pair of red named staff,
Did grace our doorstep with beer and a laugh.
They drank up the liquor and stole my armchair,
Then strapped it to skis, their senses impaired.
[member="Thurion Heavenshield"] pushed from behind
While [member="Valiens Nantaris"] tried to steer blind.
I turned away as the pair reached the hills
And tried not to think of their medical bills.
Last I heard they were both doing time
For breaking and entering and armchair theft crimes.
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the heat flue with care,
In hopes that St. [member="Tefka"] soon would be there;
The Jawas were nestled all snug in their beds;
While visions of junk piles danced in their heads;
And [member="Spencer Jacobs"] in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the viewscreen I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer,
With a little old driver so lively and spiff,
I knew in a moment he must be St. Tef.
More rapid than reports his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, [member="Alric Kuhn"]! now, [member="Asemir Lor'kora"]! now [member="Cira"] and [member="Fabula Caromed"]!
On, [member="Kana Truden"]! on, [member="Kyra Sol"] on, [member="Lorelei Darke"] and [member="Sarge Potteiger"]!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So up to the housetop the coursers they flew
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Tefka too—
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Tefka came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a pedler just opening his pack.
His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the false beard on his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a e-cig he held tight in his teeth,
And the vape, it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was husky and short, a right jolly old Tef
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
He hefted his Banhammer and up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”
The story doesn't end there at a happy occasion,
But later we were visited, a veritable invasion.
A disgruntled pair of red named staff,
Did grace our doorstep with beer and a laugh.
They drank up the liquor and stole my armchair,
Then strapped it to skis, their senses impaired.
[member="Thurion Heavenshield"] pushed from behind
While [member="Valiens Nantaris"] tried to steer blind.
I turned away as the pair reached the hills
And tried not to think of their medical bills.
Last I heard they were both doing time
For breaking and entering and armchair theft crimes.
