Private A Thousand Reasons

[Darth Daiara]

He was gone.

It wasn't a thought Aradia allowed to bubble up frequently. When Zaavik Perl left he had taken all the air with him. She operated in a haze, searching by night and fighting against Darth Mori by day. She had been playing a dangerous game when she tried to make those two pieces of her life fit together, now a voice inside her head whispered that she had failed.

She didn't know that. She didn't know anything. A thousand reasons could explain Zaavik's disappearance.


Every week she circuited the old safe houses on his list. If he was hiding from her he wouldn't use them, but ... she let herself in, not because the stale air still smelled like him and his things were here, but because... if it was Vesta that reached him... he would resurface.

When it was safe.

She entered to find the lights on deeper within. Her heart leapt to her throat.

Yula Perl

 

[Yula Perl]

An advantage to being a Shadowrunner was the sheer amount of information you had access to- if you knew who's circuits to grease. Darkwire was beholden only to itself, with some informants dealing information to both Jedi and Sith. Information on Zaavik came in bits and pieces; most of it was more accessible from his time as Jedi and not helpful. Finally, she had her hands on a list of coordinates. Known sightings, a few safe houses.

He wasn't here, but maybe there'd be clues as to where he'd gone. Yula pulled away from the closet she'd disemboweled, frowning. Little more than spare clothes, non-perishables and a few medpacks.

The entrance to the house creaked open and she spun around, frown deepening. Yula's eyes darted to the bedroom door in front of her, the space next to it…should she hide there for the moment and wait for him to come in? No, he'd already be suspicious. Maybe. Who knew if Zaavik was expecting company.

Conscious of the fact that he'd tried to kill her the last time they'd met, Yula opted for a more direct approach. Gripping her lightsaber, she opened the bedroom door and simply stepped out and to the side, back facing what she'd deemed to be the weaker wall of the structure. If it all went south, she could blow it out, maybe.

Her brow creased. This wasn't her cousin-someone else after him, maybe?

"Who the fuck are you?"

Darth Daiara

 

[Darth Daiara]

Aradia's heart dropped back to her stomach, the hope dying like poison in her gut. Her saber was in her hand and lit just as quickly, the two woman at a stand-down before the words could leave Yula's lips.

Who was she? Who the hell was this.

Her eyes pinched as she surveyed the space, the black hair dye boxes they had once used to conceal their identity sprawled like trash across the floor. "I could ask you the same," she rasped back, her voice thick with the pain of this discovery.

"This is my home." She stepped forward, the saber raising in a unspoken threat. "Who sent you."

 

[Yula Perl]

"Your h-"

The crimson glow deepened the shadow's of the woman's face, and Yula was about to launch into a Dagon-esque interrogation when something made her pause. They say that Zeltrons looked familiar to strangers, but this stranger looked familiar to her.

She'd seen her visage before behind the grainy films Dagon Kaze had shared with her. Back when he'd tracked Zaavik and…what was her name? Aria?

Yula's features darkened into a scowl.

"You're that Sith schutta- the one who turned him, aren't you?" The pale yellow light of her saber oscillated in place as she twirled the blade, not quite lining up for an attack but obviously testy.

Aradia's question had been forgotten. "Where's Zaavik?"

Darth Daiara

 

[Darth Daiara]

"Turned him-" Aradia echoed, vehement and taken aback. "Zaavik is perfectly capable of making his own decis-" she stopped short, her mouth frozen in a round, panicked 'o' as she realized this wasn't a stranger breaking into her and Zaavik's sacred space.

It was another one of his friends.

Would this mean he was nearby? The saber dropped, her chest rising and falling with quick breaths as she looked around for further sign of him. She could only shake her head at the question, unconcerned by Yula's motives if it brought her closer to him.

The trail had been cold for weeks.

"He's not with you guys?" She tried to bite back the panic.

 

[Yula Perl]

Aradia's demeanor had shifted from hostile to concerned, enough to lower her blade. Yula kept her own at the ready, but now she looked apprehensive.

"What? No. He's my cousin; I came here to find him."

Her tone softened a little at the end, when she realized that they'd both wanted the same thing. Which meant that she didn't know where Zaavik went either.

Yula groaned.

"You've gotta be fethin me. I come all the way out here, to this sith shack-can't even find that stupid-"

Her gaze found hold in Aradia once more, now discerning. Something was…strange? about her. Not her as a person, but her aura. Something was off. But it was a vaguely familiar sensation. Her voice lowered, a little less aggressive.

"He meant something to you?"

 

[Darth Daiara]

Hope died for a second time. Her fingers tightened on her saber, struggling to find her composure in the stuffy room of destroyed memories.

"Something like that."

She clicked her saber off, the blue heat leaving her cold as she closed the door behind her and starting to straighten the place back out. "This is not a sith shack. It was his place-- now you fucked it up he'll bounce the moment he comes back. What were you thinking?"

 

[Yula Perl]

Yula suddenly remembered that time when she'd visited Nida working in the maternity ward. Why did that particular invasive thought find purchase just now? It had been years ago. And yet, when she glanced next at Aradia, she knew why, and hoped she was wrong at the same time.

"Oh Zaavik. What the hell have you done now!"

Her own blade snapped off in kind, figuring that the immediate danger had passed for now. Instead, she was being chided for trashing the safe house.

"I was looking for any evidence of—look I'm sorry, we'll clean it up alright? Good as new." She huffed.

"When was the last time he came through anyway?"

 

[Darth Daiara]

She doubted that, but it was getting hard to blame his absence on things like compromised spaces. If he wanted to reach out, nothing had been stropping him. So what gived?

Aradia knelt down picked up the trash on the ground-- the trash that had surely been there before-- and busied herself with putting them in the tiny waist bin.

"67 days," she answered, without looking up. She switched on a nearly hourly bases on what might have been the cause. Staring down his family made the guilt kick up all that stronger. She didn't care what Yula was out in the real world. If she had a connection to Zaavik, she might have answers.

"...Have you seen him?"

 

[Yula Perl]

Yula watched as the Sith busied herself with tidying up the home. A wave of guilt swept through her, realizing that she'd torn through someone's home. This wasn't just a safe house; it meant something. To Aradia, at least.

Lots of memories in these four walls, she guessed. She'd be equally distressed if someone tried to evict her from her own home in Baker's Row. It wasn't particularly luxurious or even nice, but it was home.

"Er-" Yula awkwardly slid to the ground, grabbing a small half-crushed box in an effort to help. "I haven't. Was hoping to find him here. Or something that could help me find him."

Fitting the box into the small waste bin, she caught the image of a dramatically beautiful dark haired woman on the side of it.

"You sure you should be doing this?" She gestured to the now empty box of hair dye.

 

[Darth Daiara]

Aradia eyed the box Zaavik had used to evade the law, then back to the pink woman, skeptical.

Was this really going to be another Jedi attempt to chastise about life choices? "Listen," she started. "We didn't ask for this, alright? You might be his family, but where were you when he was dumped on the street? The jedi didn't protect him, and they would have his head if they could get it.

"So yeah. We're doing our best here, alright?" She swiped the hair dye box out of the trash and placed it back on the bathroom threshold. "A lot of good it's done, they might already have him."

 

[Yula Perl]

"Dumped on the street? Who the feth did that?" A sudden injection of anger pitched her tone, followed swiftly by another wave of guilt. This one deeper and more visceral.

"I didn't know." She grumbled, idly sweeping a few crumpled tissues with her foot. "I should've, though. Last time I saw him he was-"

What was he? Angry? Suffering? She couldn't make whole sense of it. Aradia had clearly known him better. They'd been close, obviously. Yula shook her head, aiming to get back on track. Whatever that was.

"The Jedi don't have him, as far as I know. I just wanted to bring him home."

"And yeah, this is a health hazard." Fishing the box out of the trash, she scoured the fine print until she found the list of warnings, then shoved it in Aradia's face. "See?"

 

[Darth Daiara]

Aradia grabbed Yula's wrist before she could shove it any closer, the iron grip a subtle reminder of the innate hostility between their kind.

"It's hair dye," she uttered flatly. "Everyone uses it" She shoved back the wrist and shimmied the couple floor space into the bathroom to clean up the overturn med kits in there. Dried bandages littered the ground, bringing back echoes of the fights they had patched up after. She left them in their crumbled, blood stained piles, hoping he wouldn't notice a wrapper or two out of place.

"... I don't know where he is. He takes off sometimes. Doesn't say anything and comes back all messed up.. This is different though. It's been too long. Something's ... something's off." And it wasn't just sense of nausea growing in her gut.

 

[Yula Perl]

Her one hand seized, Yula dropped the box. Her free palm raised in a gesture of defense as if to say "okay, okay!"

Despite the hostility, something in her felt for the girl. She was hurting. And…something else.

She trailed after the redhead, crumpling her nose at the sight of used bandages. It wasn't the presence of dried blood, but rather their implication. No one likes to imagine their kin hurt.

"Were you guys…you know?"

"You his girlfriend?"

 

[Darth Daiara]

The air left her lungs again. It had been that way since he had left. Hard think, hard to feel, hard to speak at all about him. Who would have thought one person could make her feel so weak? A year ago the concept would have perturbed her, but now.... now she couldn't care less. She looked up at Yula, her features twisting as she faced down the question.

"I would do anything for him," she whispered, emotions washing over her like a red hot curtain. She dug her fingers into her knees and tried to bottle it all back. It was half answer but it was all she could give. They hadn't used titles... what if he didn't know she needed him to come back?

He knew, she answered, with all the conviction her body could contain.

So where was he? Where was he? The force cried out.

 

[Yula Perl]

Yula's lips firmed into a discerning line, letting the feel of Aradia's struggle wash over her. Her answer had amounted to a yes in Yula's book. Never had she imagined that there would be a girlfriend in the picture—Zaavik just wasn't the type. Or, maybe she just hadn't known him that well. He'd always kept a sort of distance.

"Yeah," Was all she could agree sadly. Sometimes the right words simply didn't exist. The urge to hug, or even pat Aradia on the shoulder in the wake of her sorrow went unheeded. The kid would skewer her.

"What are you gonna do now? Just…wait? For him?"

Darth Daiara

 

[Darth Daiara]

Aradia's eyes narrowed at the thought.

"Like what, a helpless damsel? No." Yes... "I've been searching-- calling favors left and right-- Zaavik's good, but I know him. I will find him." Unless someone had him dead.

Her nostrils flared, the darkside sparking like a solar flair around her. She shoved the basket of first aid away from her and stood sharply.

"This is a waste of time. He's not here. Get out." She could feel her blood drop as she spoke, a sudden bout of lightheaded removing her from her body as it often had lately.

"Go," she breathed through it, gripping the counter in an attempt to mask her droop forward.

Yula Perl

 

[Yula Perl]

There was no untouching that nerve. Yula flinched as the Dark surged from Aradia, a brief yet poignant reminder of just who she'd stumbled into.

The girl's distress did not slip past her, and while Yula didn't leave, she didn't try to reach out.

"You sure going after him is a good idea and all? Considering your, you know."

She swept a hand from her own midsection to pelvis in an exaggerated curve.

"Condition?"

Darth Daiara

 

[Darth Daiara]

The world returned to Aradia like an egg yoke being sucked up a bottle. Whooomp. She pressed her fingers into the counter to ground herself as her ears rang. These episodes were becoming a dangerous nuisance. What if it happened at court?

All of this was eclipsed by Yula's exaggerated motion. Aradia was too taken aback to be insulted. "Did you just... call me... fat?" She echoed the ludicrousy, as if Zaavik would actually leave her because of her figure.

A laugh of disbelief puffed out of her.

 

[Yula Perl]

"What? No. What? I mean, not yet."

Yula chewed the inside of her cheek. "You've probably got at least another month or two before you start showing." With both hands, she gestured vaguely to Aradia's abdomen. "Not sure if the Sith provide maternity wear, maybe you could go old school and wear one of those billowing cloaks or something."

This conversation was surreal.

Darth Daiara