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Aasani Iroga

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Name: Aasani Iroga.
Titles: Darth Vene. Mistress of the Sams iw ri Jin' Naktis.
Role: A Force Ghost that will serve as a mentor to Xavka as well as an often unwanted companion.
Development Threads: In Progress. I will replace this message with the link to the thread once the thread is complete.
Loyalties: Formerly to the Sams iw ri Jin' Naktis. At time of RP usage her loyalty is to Xavka Duquo.
Age:
  • Chronological: 328
  • At Death: 67
  • Appearance as Force Ghost: 34
Species: Nautolan
Force Sensitivity: Yes. She ranks as a Sith Lord.
Appearance:
  • General Appearance: Aasani is a pale, green skinned Nautolan. Like all members of her species her large eyes are a deep black. She has 14 head-tresses, six of which are larger than the others and more easily seen. They are layered over the 8 other smaller head-tresses. She has a slim, toned body and is 1.8ms tall.
  • Distinguishing Marks: On her shoulders the tattoos are of a circular design while the tattoo over her mouth is thinner and is comprised of multiple, thin tattooed lines. On four of her six large head-tresses, a bold, band like design is tattooed onto her skin. On the left and right side of the top of her head there is a tattooed designed just like the one over her mouth: comprised of thin lines, the tattoo reaches down to cover her unmarked, large head-tresses. Over the middle over head and reaching down to her neck there is a thick, bold tattoo. She also has further tattoos on her hands that have a triangle design.
  • Outfit: Aasani wears a dress/robe combo. The robes start as a bodice and flow down into a standard lower robe look with but with two splits along the legs. The robes are coloured black with a dark blue outline and a pattern along the bodice the centre section of the lower robe. He feet are covered by black wraps that continue up her legs until 3/4 of the way to her knees, the distance between the wraps increasing the further up the leg.
Personality: Aasani's personality is comprised out of two aspects, a darker aspect and a neutral aspect. This is due to having Bipolar Disorder caused by the stress of trying to find a way to separate her true personality and her Sith personality so that her morals would not be compromised. Her neutral personality is extremely flirty with attentions on both males and females (mainly females as it went against the social norm of the community she grew up in), possessing sarcasm and dry humour. She also has the potential to be extremely serious and will become such when something important to her or something she considered hers is in danger or requires any sort of attention. Her Sith personality can be summed up in two words: Arrogant, Calm. Always keeping a calm exterior and never showing emotion beyond rage, Aasani radiated an aura of superiority.

Weapon of Choice: The Force.
Wealth: Due to being a Force Ghost, Aasani no longer has any wealth.
Combat Function: Despite being a fierce warrior who specialised in stealth and devastating, single strikes since becoming a Force Ghost, Aasani has delighted in sitting back and watching conflict revolve around her, moving pieces under her control over the board of combat instead of interfering herself. As such her function in combat has since become non-existent, instead she had taken to the role of the Chess Master of the fight, whispering into the minds of those around her host in an attempt to manipulate them.

Skills:
  • When Living: When she was living, Aasani's ability to manipulate the Force revolved around stealth and assassination techniques as well as learning how to strike single, devastating strikes that would end a fight before it began. Outside of her skills with the Force, Aasani was largely weak as her ability with a Lightsaber was extremely weak and easily overwhelmed. In the pursuit of knowledge and improvement, Aasani had once stumbled across the Shrine of an old Sith Lord, one who, like her, had specialised in Assassination. After months of gruelling trials that almost left her brain dead the Ghost of the Sith decreed that he had found his preferred successor of his teaching and allowed himself to pass on, the ritual binding his soul now unravelled from the decree. Before the Sith's disappearance, he directed Aasani to a Holocron containing information on the abilities of Phase and Force Fold. After recovering Aasani began to research and train in those abilities, however she soon discovered, once she began to experiment, that the techniques were extremely strenuous on her body and vowed to never use them. In the end she broke the vow and it was over usage of these abilities that lead to her death.
  • List of Rare/Powerful Skills: Phase | Force Fold | Alter Damge

  • As Force Ghost: As a Force Ghost, Aasani's ability to manipulate the Force has drastically decreased, leaving her with the fundamental ability of being able to move objects through usage of the Force as well as telepathy and empathy. The last two tire her out and Force her to fall closer to surrendering to the pull of Death. As such they are rarely used outside of searching for an inheritor for the Sams iw ri Jin' Naktis.
  • List: Very minor telekinesis (barely lift 1kg) | Telepathy | Empathy.

Notable Possessions: As a Force Ghost, Aasani should not have any notable possessions however, she does. Due to being the remaining member of the Sams iw ri Jin' Naktis, even though she's a Ghost, Aasani is the guardian of the Qormuo Sishuas a Great Holocron containing the collective knowledge of the Sams iw ri Jin' Naktis

History: Aasani was born to two Nautolans, and that is all she knew of her past. Taken at a very young age, Aasani was groomed to be Sith and was soon proving her strength through the Force and moving through ranks, gaining recognition. She was know for her lacklustre abilities with a lightsaber but was often able to win through the use of trickery, manipulation and the devastating ways of manipulating the Force she had learnt. However, as she gained recognition and respect she also gained enemies, one in particular grew to have a very strong grudge against her, a Sith that would become know as Darth Farun.

Eventually their rivalry grew to a boiling point and they started to fight, physically, mentally, through pawns and politically. Even though Aasani won in terms of physically, mentally and their fighting through proxies that existed amongst their followers was a stalemate, she was soon beaten on the political battle field. She and her followers were soon declared heretics and labelled as traitors to the Sith.

Driven out of the Sith, Aasani and her followers found refuge on the planet Ambria. Soon, they settled down and built a settlement in the form of a grand temple. Soon, the philosophies of the 'heretics' fused together and from that was born a Dark Cult based on assassination, the Sams iw ri Jin' Naktis with Aasani becoming the Mistress of the group.

After being forced from the Sith Aasani and her followers had laid false trails to buy themselves as much time as they could. Once they had found a place to settle, the Sorcerors within the group conducted a ritual that lasted a Galactic Standard Week, the result of which was the hiding of the Temple. It took 30 years but eventually the group welcomed a traitor into their midst and the Sith soon learnt of the location of the group and the method on how to destroy the protections. As soon as a war force had been gathered the Sams iw ri Jin' Naktis were attacked by the Sith.

Although the whole of the group rallied themselves and fought to defend themselves to the last breath, they soon fell as the invading force had more manpower as well as an orbital presence. It was in this fight that Aasani died, although it was not at the hands of an invader. She died from organ failure having strained her body and connection to the Force too much. However, before her death, Aasani had removed herself from view while the beginning stages of the attack were underway, emerging only later into the fight,

After death, Aasani remained on the mortal coil as a Force Ghost. The cause of such a fate was the reason behind her disappearance. She had preformed a ritual, one that she had been preparing herself for over the span of years. The ritual drew upon the strong connection to the Force to bind her souls to the would of the living, however the ritual came at a price. Since the ritual drew on her connection to the Force her strength was weakened and, unlike other Force Ghosts, Aasani did not have enough strength to possess someone beyond acting like a parasite. The Ritual was named in a Scroll as Transfer Essence and, while it normally wouldn't drain her as it did, she didn't preform it properly. Her soul was tied to a ring that was lay behind the Qormuo Sishuas, placed on a small column.

As a Force Ghost Aasani took up the duty of Guardian of the Knowledge, defender of what remained of the order she had founded and built from the ground up, hiding the Qormuo Sishuas from invaders, as well as the keeping the Tzirji Midniusama, the collection of the most guarded knowledge of the order. Every so often, she reaches out to others through the Force. Whenever someone paces the planet, she reaches out with her mind and scans them and, if they match the criteria she has, she calls them to her, trying to lead them to the hidden chambers beneath the now ruined temple so that the knowledge of her order would be shared with her chosen being.

Intent: The intent behind this character's creation is two fold. The first is that she is to serve as a catalyst for a change within Xavka that will lead to new story arcs as well as an altered personality, all contributing to his climb to Knight. The second is to serve as a mentor of Assassination to Xavka, being the voice that whispers in his mind, teaching him.

Other Notes: The mentorship of this NPC with Xavka Duquo is to exist solely as non-Force mentorship and basic Force Abilities. Only when he is a Knight or Master will he begin to practice the advanced Force Abilities. This is due to the fact that, while Aasani cannot possess Xavka while he is a full strength due to her own weakness, if he practices these Abilities and weakens himself, she can possess him. She has bound herself to a ring which he will wear. Outside of that fact, since Aasani is using Xavka to try and recreate the group that she lost, they have a rather cordial relationship.




Translations:
Sams iw ri Jin' Naktis = Sect of the Dark Night
Qormuo Sishuas = Endless Codex
Tzirji Midniusama = Great Library
 
Hi, [member="Xavka Duquo"]

I'm going to be your judge, I need to go out soon but I will have a review up in a few hours. I warn you now that the standard for force ghosts and specifically master level force ghosts is very high so there will be a lot of work to do.

That said can you check over your sub again, I have noticed a few spelling/ grammar errors. I will highlight these fully when I get back but if you check over yourself we will both be saved time.

Thanks,
Callum
 
[member="Lucien Cordel"]

I look forwards to working with you. I'll go and look through now and see if I can find any of the spelling or grammatical mistake you've noticed. I warn you though, I'm bad at beta-ing (looking fro mistakes), but I'll see what I can do.
 
Xavka Duquo said:
Role: A Force Ghost that will serve as a unwanted companion and wanted mentor to Xavka.
This will read better as Role: A Force Ghost that will serve as a mentor to Xavka and an unwanted companion.



Xavka Duquo said:
In Progress. I will replace this message with the link to the thread once the thread is complete.
Just so you know the criteria your dev thread/s should total at least 50 posts and this can be between 2 or 3 writers any thread that is 'canon' (as in that hasn't been declared non canon) can be a dev thread so long as a main focus is on an aspect of this NPC.



Xavka Duquo said:
whose skin colour looks more white than green due to how pale she is.
This is a catching point really, I can find no example of canon Albanos of this species, I will however accept her just being very pale , so I advice you cut this out.



Xavka Duquo said:
that is focused on speed and agility with no consideration of strength.
This doesn't belong in the appearance section this relates to skills :)



Xavka Duquo said:
Aasani has no true distinguishing marks
This bit is also necessary, you can cut it out and just describe her tattoos



Xavka Duquo said:
She also has further tattoos that are on her hands that have a triangle design.
This sentence will flow better is you cut 'That are' out.



Xavka Duquo said:
should be coloured



Xavka Duquo said:
While seeming like bipolar disorder, this is more of a controlled decision made by Aasani with a sane mind, a way to separate her true personality and her Sith personality so that her morals would not be compromised.
This sounds exactly like bipolar disorder, which does occur when people feel forced to act contrary to their morality, as you describe her she is bipolar.



Xavka Duquo said:
Force Ghost, Aasani has delighted in sitting back and watching conflict revolve around her, moving pieces under her control over the board of combat instead of interfering herself. As such her function in combat has since become non-existent, instead she had taken to the role of the Chess Master of the fight.
I need embellishment on this as it is crucial, does she interfere in anyway no matter how trivial, i.e commenting, manipulating the environment etc. or does she literally just watch.



Xavka Duquo said:
Aasani had once stumbled across the abilities of Phase and Force Fold
I can't accept she stumbled across them, they are very rare, she must have been told about them and trained in them extensively before she could even dabble in them.



Xavka Duquo said:
List of Rare/Powerful Skills: Art of the Small | Phase | Malcia | Force Fold | Cloak of Shadows | Shatterpoint | Combustion | Alter Damge

I can't accept an NPC who knows all of those powers, I will accept 3 from that list tops I'm afraid.



Xavka Duquo said:
Notable Possessions: As a Force Ghost, Aasani does not truly have any notable possessions, as, due to being the remaining member of the Sams iw ri Jin' Naktis, even though she's a Ghost, Aasani is the guardian of the Qormuo Sishuas a Great Holocron containing the collective knowledge of the Sams iw ri Jin' Naktis
This is contradictory if she is in sole control of the holocron then she possesses it.



Xavka Duquo said:
She was know for her lack lust
should be lackluster


Xavka Duquo said:
always being able to win

Change always to often please, she would have been killed as an acolyte if she always won sith are ruthless and an acolyte who is too good is dangerous



Xavka Duquo said:
through proxies that existed amongst their followers she was soon beaten on the political battle field. She and her followers were soon declared heretics and labelled as traitors to the Sith.
I would contend that is she could win through proxies she could win politically as it implies she has support, she either needs to lose or draw the battle of the proxies.



Xavka Duquo said:
30 years later, the Sams iw ri Jin' Naktis were attacked by the Sith.
Please elaborate on why the sith would wait 30 years.



Xavka Duquo said:
After death, Aasani remained on the mortal coil as a Force Ghost.
How? Please elaborate. Becoming a force ghost is not an easy thing, you either need to be cursed or 'blessed' for whant of better words[etc. or train for an extensive period, if you say she trained to do it you need to lose another rare power.

quote name='Xavka Duquo' timestamp='1446572404' post='1046791'] Intent: The intent behind this character's creation is two fold. The first is that she is to serve as a catalyst for a change within Xavka that will lead to new story arcs as well as an altered personality, all contributing to his climb to Knight. The second is to serve as a mentor of Assassination to Xavka, being the voice that whispers in his mind, teaching him. [/quote]

Your intent poses two issues also
  1. I'm going to need some explanation of how [member="Xavka Duquo"] survived being possessed by her, she is I'm sure you'll agree very powerful connecting to him as more than a disembodied voice in the back of his mind would fry his brain at the very least and most likely kill him.
  2. I can't have you learning any of these force powers that she possesses as an apprentice and even as a starting knight I would only expect theatrical damage with his first practical application coming when he is an experienced knight at the very least.
I know this list is quite long but the standard for master level force ghost NPC's has got to be high, not least because the character she's latched to is an apprentice.

Thanks,
Callum
 
[member="Lucien Cordel"]

I thank you for the long list, I always want whatever I do to be held to a high standard and this is helping me maintain that desire. I wish thank you pointing out the areas of the story that I haven't gone into depth with as I'm sure that would have come back to bite me at some point.

This is just to thank you and let you know that I will begin editing my submission soon, redundant as it may be. My next post here will be to let you know that I have completed the edits you have recommended as well as contain a list of all edits I have made.

Again, thank you for pointing these faults out, in the end it will help me more than if you had not.
 
[member="Lucien Cordel"]
I have edited my submission. You will find a list of the edits bellow.

  • I have separated Other Notes and History and have tried to address your concerns with the intent in that area. However I am, admittedly, unsure about this. Your concern about how Xavka survived has been address more thoroughly, albeit indirectly, in the added History where the description of how she became a Ghost exists.
  • The grammatical and spelling mistakes you have pointed out to be have been fixed.
  • The recommended removals of unneeded or information that did not match canon facts have been removed.
  • I have removed 3 of the Force Abilities I had listed.
  • I have added information to the Skills section that describe how she got access to Force Fold and Phase. I hope that it addresses your concern.
  • I have edited the Notable Possession, the 'always able to win' to 'often' and made it so that the 'proxy fight' was a draw.
  • I have explained why it took 30 years for the group to be found.

I hope that I have covered everything and that it is to your satisfaction. I also hope that I have not created any new mistakes in correcting the old ones.
If you have any more concerns with what I have written, please say so. As I have already mentioned, I want this sub to be as good as I can make it.

-Samuel
 
Nearly there



Xavka Duquo said:

should be world :p
Xavka Duquo said:
preformed a ritual, one that she had been preparing herself for over the span of years. The ritual drew upon the strong connection to the Force to bind her souls to the would of the living, however the ritual came at a price.
I need you to link to the wookie on information about this ritual.



Xavka Duquo said:
Other Notes: The mentorship of this NPC with Xavka Duquo is to exist solely as non-Force mentorship and basic Force Abilities. Only when he is a Knight or Master will he begin to practice the advanced Force Abilities. This is due to the fact that, while Aasani cannot possess Xavka while he is a full strength due to her own weakness, if he practices these Abilities and weakens himself, she can possess him. Outside of that fact, since Aasani is using Xavka to try and recreate the group that she lost, they have a rather cordial relationship.

I think you misunderstood me I didn't mean she should be too weak to possess him, as a sith lord this is not the case it's that to possess him would be to link him with force energy that his body and mind can't stand yet. He's too weak , as an apprentice, to survive possession

I would expect a note in [member="Xavka Duquo"] 's weaknesses section about the fact a force ghost is leaching off him.

Good work on those edits though, hopefully this will be approvable soon.

Thanks,
Callum
 
[member="Lucien Cordel"]

Lucien Cordel said:
I think you misunderstood me I didn't mean she should be too weak to possess him, as a sith lord this is not the case it's that to possess him would be to link him with force energy that his body and mind can't stand yet. He's too weak , as an apprentice, to survive possession
I'm afraid that you don't understand my intention behind the Other Notes addition.
(I just realised how childish that sounds when compared to the quote)
My intention wasn't to weaken her thinking that she was too strong to possess Xavka, more to explain how he would survive the possession itself.

Also, in reference to the ritual, there seems to be no Wookiepedia page on it. I was told about it by a friend and I assumed that it was a canon ritual, however, as said, there is non. How would you recommend I proceed with this?
 
Xavka Duquo said:
Aasani cannot possess Xavka while he is a full strength due to her own weakness, if he practices these Abilities and weakens himself, she can possess him.
You said this ^
But that isn't how it works she is too powerful to possess him and him still live she would be unaffected possessing him, infact it would be better for her to possess a host.



Xavka Duquo said:
Also, in reference to the ritual, there seems to be no Wookiepedia page on it. I was told about it by a friend and I assumed that it was a canon ritual, however, as said, there is non. How would you recommend I proceed with this?
You have two options for this :
  1. See if your friend can remember the rituals name or any notable user of the ritual and find it in the wokie via them or link their page
  2. Pick a different method of becoming a force ghost for her.
 
[member="Lucien Cordel"]

I've talked it over with my friend and, even with our combined efforts, we can not find the ritual. So, I you don't mind I would like to ask two question. One, do you have any advice on what the best way to explain her becoming a Force Ghost is.

The second is slightly unrelated. Do you have any advice on how Xavka could survive the possession? Or some other way I could have her tie herself to him?

Sorry to be asking you for help on my sub, but I'm completely stuck for ideas. Sorry.
 
No worries I'm here to help
  1. Take a look at these:
I think they will help
2. As I see it there is no way an apprentice would survive direct possession, I advice you say she possessed an object I.e a ring, talisman etc. and has him wear it/ carry it it will weaken him but because she only interacts with him indirectly he will not be overwhelmed.

Hope that helps

regards,
Callum
 
The idea for her to be possessing an item it a good one and one that I, somehow, did not think of, so thank you for that.

If you don't mind, I have a question about the Dev Thread for Aasani. I mention in the sub that her possession is the Qormuo Sishuas, the Endless Codex, which is a Holocron containing Master level knowledge on Assassination. The intent for it is for it to be supplied to the Sith Assassins. Anyway, my question, does the Dev Thread have to revolve solely about Aasani, or could it include some nameless NPC securing the Codex and other Holocrons/creating the Codex by uploading the information? If I could do this, would it require a bigger post count?

I know that my question isn't that relevant, but I wanted to run it by you as, to save time, I was thinking of combining the Dev Threads and I don't want to do this and find out that I needed to have a higher post count.


[member="Lucien Cordel"]
 
Damn! Oh well, there goes that idea. Anyway, I'm currently looking through those links you provided. The next time I post here, it should be to let you know that I've edited the sub.


[member="Lucien Cordel"]
 
Sorry for the delay. Anyway, I have edited the sub to reflect her use of Transfer Essence to bind herself to a ring which Xavka will wear. I wasn't truly sure what information I would have to add to show this clearly, so I hope what I did is okay.

[member="Lucien Cordel"]
 
[member="Lucien Cordel"]

Brilliant! I shall mention you in a post here once the Dev is done. However, I must admit that I will have to start again, as the edits to the submission require me to go and edit the posts made so far, so I may be some days. I hope to take no more than three, but I can only hope that nothing crops up in real life to but that back.


EDIT: A quick question, how many posts should I aim for? I can't seem to remember.
 
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