Adding a bit of Shine

[Allyson Locke]

Junkyards were horrible, but for some reason Spencer discovered that she was stuck for a moment looking for parts. A mask covered her face allowing her to breathe on the surface of the planet. Her data pad floated beside her as she dug through the piles of debris that seemed to litter the planet around her. There was a list on the data pad and every so often she looked up and glance at the list, it was quite extensive and she couldn’t really tell the difference between most of the parts that was listed on the list. These sorts of things seemed to be a hassle, but she wasn’t going to disagree with her Master.

Getting on her hands and knees, she dug through some older droid parts. Finding a shell of a torso she sat back and started to pull at it. Physical strength didn’t fall into Spencer’s category of what she was good at. The girl was a mentalist, nothing close to being a physicalist. It took a few moments but she opened the shell and started to nit-pick her way through the parts. There was a small piece that she looked for and when the shell provided it didn’t’ have the piece she tossed it aside and started to work on the next piece.

“Curses, there hell is the processor I need.”

@[member="Anaya Fen"]

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

It was not an easy task to track a force signature that was broken, perhaps even non existent, but with a few whispered threats and pushing the right butttons, her inquiries for the whereabouts of 'Sanctuary' had led her here. To the biggest junk yard the galaxy had ever known. The breather on her face was uncomfortable but necessary, her skin crawled as she moved through the wreckage of droids and ships alike.

This was her worst nightmare, and new place that she could add to her 'leave and never come back list'. She shuddered pausing in her tracks reaching out with the force trying to find her prey but the force gave her nothing except for a grumble of frustration on the other side of the mountain of droids she was near. stepping lightly and disturbing as little as she could, Anaya climbed the pile and allowed a small wave of triumph to roll out from her as she sat on top of the mountain looking down at Spencer Jacobs.

"You know," she called down to Spencer a cold smile on her face "You pop up in all the places I hate...except maybe Ossus. I like Ossus." she shrugged waving the tangent aside "It doesn't set a good precedent for our interactions."

 

[Allyson Locke]

“Maybe there’s a reason for that, maybe I don’t want to run into you @[member="Anaya Fen"].”

Spencer didn’t pay attention to Anaya as she continued to fish for droid parts. Looking back at her list she frowned and continued to pick apart everything. Tossing the shell of the droids back, she stood up and finally looked up towards Anaya. The woman was frustrating, seething with all her emotions, and to top it off her nagging about how she dislikes things. Spencer shook her head as she grasped the data pad that was floating next to her.

“I was at Ossus, all that mindless slaughter Sirella and you were responsible for. There are alternative ways to doing things. You’ve seen it first-hand the possibilities. “

She picked up the piece she had been searching for and put it in a sample bag, checking off the name, she looked to the next piece and frowned as a hologram of what it looked like showed up in front of her. The parts were starting to get annoying; she hated being an errand girl. These were here commands though and she needed to complete them. Spencer had hoped for no interferences, but Anaya thought differently.

“So, what do you want from me Anaya Fen Champion of the Empress. I have made no challenge for the throne so please tell me why you’ve followed me here.”

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

Anaya let out a low chuckle and bowed her head as she continued her search, trying to recall why it was she had come looking for the girl. She had been sweet an innocent when Anaya had first met her. Gentle hearted, softly spoken caught in a whole world of things she couldn't even begin to comprehend. Now she had a sharp tongue and flare of anger to match it.

She snorted derisively at her comments about Ossus. "Yes I have seen it first hand, and for that situation it worked. This was a different situation. A different method was needed. Fear can be our greatest ally. It reminds people the consequences should they step out of line."

It irked her not to have Spencer's full attention but she did her best not to let her anger overwhelm her rational thought process. "Sweetheart, your relationship with the Empress threatens the throne. You might not have challenged it, but I serve more of a purpose than, as Mikhail puts it, being the Empresses meatshield" Rising to her feet she leapt down from her spot and snatched the datapad from Spencer's hand looking at the parts with a bored expression.

"So, how about, you let me help you find these parts, and we talk our way through this and hopefully come to a conclusion where I don't label you as a weakness and have you killed."

 

[Allyson Locke]

Spencer smirked sensing the woman’s anger beginning to rise. It was a good sign if things decided to get violent Spencer had a source for her dark powers. Still she didn’t give her the attention she wanted and started to pick and pull parts for the droids listening to Anaya the whole time. Stopping, she threw down a droid’s arm and frowned. Her eyes set locked on the red twi’lek. Spencer served a purpose and it was probably far greater than what Anaya or Mikhail could understand.

“My place with the Empress is two things, one none of your concern and two plays a larger role than what you think. I’m not the First Apprentice because I take care of her needs, I’m the first apprentice because I have a purpose.”

Seeing the data pad snatched, Spencer decided to not fight it. Looking at the woman she didn’t think she could talk her way through things, she seemed to be the type to stab then question. Either way, Spencer decided it would serve a better purpose if they spoke about things and she would be off this planet faster with Anaya’s help.

“Fine, but I never took you as someone to talk through things. Also, have me killed? Too scared to do it yourself? I’m just a little plaything to you aren’t I?”

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

Anaya let out a bark of laughter "Scared to do it myself? Absolutely." There was no shame in admitting that, Anaya picked her fights on the grounds that she could win them and picking a fight with the Empress was one she would never win. Not anytime soon anyway. "I might be a sociopath, but I'm not an idiot. Ashin would destroy me." she looked up from the datapad and handed it back to Spencer.

She began routing half heartedly through the junk in front of them. "Contrary to popular belief I am perfectly capable of talking things through. No, it's not my strong point and yes, I would rather just fight it out. But I'm not about to start a duel with the Empresses..." a wicked smile crossed her features "...plaything."

Pushing buttons, was just to fun to avoid. "Look at things from my perspective for a minute, Spencer. Run through things from the beginning form when we first met and what you were brought by Ashin to do. You were used for your gift so that we could gain a foothold. A sweet innocent little Jedi girl, fresh for corruption. The next time I see you was when Ashin rose to power, still that sweet girl struggling with all the emotions around her. And then what?"

The Spencer Anaya had seen on Belsavis was a huge jump from the girl she'd first met. "What bit of that doesn't scream plaything?"

 

[Allyson Locke]

“Then what? I realized where I stood with the force and where I stood with the Jedi. I grew up a bit and realized that no matter what I do I’m not going to be important to the Order.”

Spencer looked at the data pad and did what Anaya had asked of her. She remembered how she was before all of this happened, she was naïve and stupid. That caused her to seek adventure wanting a bit more in her life than just the studies of an old religion. Sighing softly, she let the data pad float again showing the hologram of the part they were looking for. She started to dig once more and found another droid.

“A lot happened between the times you saw me Anaya, I had spent a lot of time with Ashin. She taught me, no one at the Order wanted me as a Padawan. I was labeled difficult and well to them I was stupid. I couldn’t do that ridiculous talent of emptying out a cup and seeing what was left. I saw what everyone else had left over nothing for me. What Knight or Master would want that? The Jedi seem righteous but most are just self-serving and self-righteous. If I didn’t benefit them, then I was just passed over.”

Pulling apart the droid, Spencer showed her frustration as she chucked the pieces she didn’t need back into the pile. The Order always frustrated her along with the Republic, everything set so organized but within that system there was chaos. The Sith and the Empire were just more forthcoming with their chaotic nature.

“Ashin found me lost in a Star liner, it was the first time someone said they needed me and offered me a choice. Of course I took it and look where it got me. I’ve gained so much knowledge and I’ve discovered parts of myself. But from your thought process I can see why you assume I’m a plaything. Probably most of the Empire feels the same.”

Pausing for a moment she looked over at Anaya.

“She doesn’t treat me like a plaything, I’m her apprentice above all else, my personal relationship with her is something that is between Ashin and I…not the Empress and her First Apprentice”

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

Anaya listened carefully to Spencers story as she pulled apart a droid. It was an interesting tale, Spencer had been at her weakest point when Ashin had found her, her faith in the Order failing. Ashin had seized her for help and become attached. Whether Ashin viewed as a mistake as she did her falling for Kaine? Well that was another matter. No sooner had the thought crossed her mind then Ashin's word came to her.

Anaya, to be a Sith is to be exactly what you want to be, do exactly what you want to do, and overcome every obstacle in your path.

Is Ashin wanted to love Spencer, then she was doing just that. All the same, Anaya could not help but feel like it was a thorn in Ashin's side. If anyone, besides her and Darron, were to find out about Spencer, then she would become a target. If Ashin became focused on dealing with whatever person was fool enough to attack Spencer, she would loose her focus on the needs of the Empire, thus becoming a weakness.

"Is that so?" Anaya said looking up as she pulled free the part they were looking for "Then what was that on Belsavis?" Spencer had made a fatal mistake that day, she was lucky that it had been Anaya accompanying them and not another Sith. "Understand this, Spencer, I live to serve the Empire. Not Ashin. My role is simple. Remove the weaknesses, make the Empire stronger, do everything in my power to aid its expansion. If anyone finds out about you and Ashin, they will come for you. They will seek to distract her, make her loose her focus and they will strike her from her throne."

She paused for a moment before adding "I will help them remove her, for she will have become a weakness." Anaya had become and unusually calm as she spoke, as she accepted what was happening "If I was sensible, I would kill you now. Let Ashin destroy me in her vengeance. Her pain would make her more powerful and it would be over quickly, before anyone could remove her."

 

[Allyson Locke]

Doing her best at keeping calm, Spencer tossed one of the droid parts aside and listened to Anaya. The woman spoke a tough game, but when Spencer closed her eyes and truly felt Anaya things were a bit different. Spencer took in a deep breath knowing that whatever she said could either set off the Sith or gain a comrade. Sighing, Spencer rubbed the side of her face as she pondered her choices. Finally after she let the awkward silence set in, Spencer looked over at Anaya with a smile. It was the only emotion she could really think of expressing at this moment. Having the twi’lek around was hard to focus, but she did her best.

Spencer stood in front of Anaya with her arms at her side. Her gaze never leaving the crimson flesh of the twi’lek while she spoke calmly.

“If you serve the Empire shouldn’t you be striking me down? Anaya don’t lie when its just the two of us, both of us know you value your own life above anything the Empire can offer you. What happened on Belsavis was what happened on Belsavis.”

Taking a step forward she cut the distance between them. Her eyes fell upon the sabers that belonged to Anaya, she had to prepare in case the Sith did attack her, but something told her in the back of her mind that she wouldn’t.

“I am not a weakness to the Empress, I think rationally and I’m in control of what I do. I grow stronger each and every day…the question I pose to you Anaya Fen is have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered if you were the weakness. Your emotions control every aspect of your life, your words stand true to the Empire, yet your feelings betray you. You value your life more than anything. Unlike myself, I will lay down my life easily to protect Ashin.”

Spencer paused for a moment and the smile faded.

“She’s all I have in this galaxy”

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

Anaya hand's moved to her hilts as Spencer stepped forward, an instinctive reaction to the closing of the gap despite the fact that Spencer's body language showed no sign of threatening her. Her words cut deep, deeper than Anaya thought possible and in the moment of silence a thousand memories crossed her mind.

The leer of her owner as he handed credits over to her parents, the crack of a whip and the agonising pain that followed it, the years of submitting to men. No Anaya was not weak, Anaya had endured so much pain and suffering in her early years that she had to become strong. Her emotions did not rule her. Yet even as that thought crossed her mind, there was dark whisper in the back of her head that said otherwise, that sneered at her façade and the constant lies she told herself.

She moved her hands from her lightsabers as her anger rose at Spencer's last words. "All you have? She is not all you have Spencer. She is all you want. You are more sith than you realise." Jealousy coiled around Anaya's heart and squeezed her hands itched for her sabers. Spencer had everything she did not, she had a love that was pure, she had a family who loved her and she rejected it all.

She turned her back on Spencer moving a few paces away, widening the gap and finding herself a small container to sit on. Silent for several moments sadness began to roll over her, bearing down on her shoulder and weighing on her heart. She was a slave to her emotions. Her emotions had gotten her into the mess with Kaine. They stopped all rational thought processes when they were at their greatest height, but did that make her weak? Finally she looked up at Spencer.

"I am not a weakness." she said softly, whether it was to convince herself or not she wasn't sure. "I am a sith. My emotions give me strength. Right now they are stopping me from killing you, not because I value my life more than I value the Empire, but because...because Ashin is like family. Something I never had."

 

[Allyson Locke]

Spencer closed her eyes, every flow of Anaya’s emotional trip she felt it. Turning away from Anaya Spencer tried to focus her mind, regain control of how she was feeling. The process was difficult, but with Anaya’s ‘baggage’ it was harder than usual. Tears leaked from her eyes as she felt the wash of sadness, a hand reached up and touched her eyes feeling the tears. Crying was something Spencer usually didn’t do of her free will. They continued to fall staining her softly rose tinted cheeks, she couldn’t stop them and brought her arm across her face wiping them away before she started to speak to Anaya. Despite the tears her voice never quivered or cracked, the visual display of emotion was out of her control.

“You’re right. Ashin is all I want. She’s the only thing in this galaxy that I want. Ashin, is everything to me…my Master, my friend, my lover, my family…hmm I see that I am more Sith than I thought I was. I’d have to meditate on this and find my balance once again.”

The girl wondered if she was walking down the path she was meant to walk down. There was always a dark and a light, never a grey area. Spencer tried her best to create the middle ground she seeked, but it seemed at every turn there was someone or something telling her that the place never and could never exist. Looking upwards she saw the tall piles of junk and sighed. The emotions flowing from Anaya were starting to become overwhelming and Spencer needed the twi’lek to calm down if they were to continue.

Once more she took in a deep breath and held it for a moment. Her mind shut off everything around her and she fell into a deep meditation. Before she continued she spoke softly to the Champion.

“You should seek a balance between your heart and your mind. Don’t lose yourself to your heart. I want to show you what I can do – the reason why the Empress took the time to nurture my growth.”

Biting her lip, she did like she always did and searched for the force connections. Spencer watched the aura around Anaya; she was strong though it was uncontrollable. The way the force surrounded the woman it splintered off like flames, Spencer felt drawn almost hungry as she watched the Force surround Anaya.

Control.

Spencer remembered the taste and the fulfillment when she had first force drained Anaya. The satisfaction she had received from it, but pushing those feelings aside she focused on trying to pacify the woman. Her emotions were starting to get the best of Spencer and the tears continued to pour out of her eyes. Spencer replaced the hunger with the desire to create happiness for Anaya that compassion struggled to fend off the darkness that seeped into her soul. It was a reason she couldn’t…not yet fully fall to the darkside.

The soft blue strands spiraled and dove into the thick aura of Anaya’s, their connections beginning to meld, the woman would feel a difference in her power. Softly, Spencer whispered words of encouragement forcing the terrible emotions, from the twi’lek providing her maybe just one moment of peace. Spencer felt the tears stop as she shared the warmth she felt when she was around Ashin, the memories of her happiness on Dathomir with her mother and her brother, every bit of happiness Spencer had ever felt in her life she poured it into the meditation.

You are not alone.

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

Anaya watched as Spencer tried to stem the flow of tears and for a brief moment she couldn't understand why the girl was crying. She had no reason to cry and then something in her mind clicked. She had know Spencer was an empathy but she had never truly made the link to her struggle with other peoples emotions. If she cried because of Anaya's sadness what could Anaya's other emotions do to her? She put the thought to one side, something to be thought over later.

"Meditate on it all you want, it won't change anything." she said softly, though there was a bitterness about her. So many emotions in such a short space of time. She truly was a slave to them. She had been a slave to others, she served the Empire she was a slave to her emotions. So much servitude, it was time she took control.

Anaya felt Spencer's connection and stiffened at the invasion, but soft whispers made her relax and the warmth flooded her. Joy that wasn't hers, the love a family brought all the things she had never felt, never thought of feeling and more. A purity and a peace she had never known, never thought of knowing. Tears of joy welled in her eyes as she relished in that moment

You are not alone.

Four simple words that triggered a rising anger. She found her own memories and she flooded her mind with them and she tried to visualise her own aura, desperate to sever the link as dark and light emotions battled inside her.

I am alone. I alone because I choose to be, because it is how I have always been.

Darkness began prevailed over light as the anger coursed like fire through her veins. How dare she seek to show her what she could not have. What she would never have. Another voice rose in her mind, the voice of reason. She is trying to comfort you.

"Get out Spencer." she growled.

 

[Allyson Locke]

The words rocked Spencer’s mind, Anaya had used her connection against her in a way no one ever has. She resisted, she fought back against the comfort. Spencer stood there with her eyes wide unsure of what to do now, no one has ever done this. An eyebrow rose as she looked towards Anaya her vision and her meditation blending together. She saw the red twi’lek with the glowing aura and the threads surrounding her. Spencer sensed the internal conflict within her, she understood what Spencer was trying to do, but ultimately she rejected it.

Pulling back every source of force contact with the Sith, Spencer took a step back. Anaya was angry and Spencer felt it. The anger surged in her as well, but she knew it wasn’t her own. This was a problem and knowing how Anaya functioned or how she understood her to function she knew that this could turn dangerous.

“I was just trying to help you. Stop it Anaya.”

Spencer reached up and held her temples; the anger the sudden change in emotions was something she wasn’t used too. Normally people would gradually change, shifting through comfort, to happiness, irritation then on to anger. Anaya had such control she could shift at the drop of the hat. It was overwhelming and Spencer’s empathy was struggling to manage the rapid sporadic shifts.

“Anaya please calm down…I didn’t mean, I just wanted to help.”

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

Anaya felt the connection sever, with it the light vanished giving way to her fury as Spencer took a step back Anaya rose from her seat and took a step forward. "Help?" she spat at her "How was that help?" she shrieked the anger coming off her in powerful waves, battering Spencer as she reached for her temples.

"You seek to show me what I don't have, to make me feel what I can never feel. I have lived a life of pain and darkness Spencer. Peace is alien to me and will remain so until I am stuck down."

She became aware of the cool metal of her lightsabers, in her hands, of the overwhelming urge to strike Spencer down where she stood, defenceless against her fury. She would make her death quick, she would give the girl that much. Ashin would come for her, but it would be some time before she came and Anaya could shrink into the darkness if she needed to. Slip away and become a shadow.

A few moments passed as Anaya contemplated the consequences of killing Spencer, it wasn't worth it. To do so would take her from the path she was on. She could not serve the empire it she was being hunted by it. It was counterproductive and a waste of her energy, not to mention it proved she truly was a slave to her emotions.

Finally, she clipped the lightsabers to her belt and calmed herself, though there was no way her anger would fade completely, it came off her in small pulses instead of the great waves. "Don't ever do that again. I don't want you in my head and I most certainly don't want your help."

 

[Allyson Locke]

The strain that Anaya was putting on her was hard on her mind. Spencer did her best to focus and try and control how much of the anger she was taking in. With the way Anaya felt, it was already going to be difficult. Spencer felt the strain not only on her mind, but on her entire body. The girl slouched and took in heavy breaths. How pathetic she must have looked to Anaya. The woman was born of hate and continued to hate till she died. Spencer remembered chaos and knew that was the fate of the woman before her no matter what she did – maybe Anaya was truly lost to her imbalance.

“Typical Sith. Always suffering and wanting to make others suffer with you. You’ve decided that you will always be the way you are? Why are you not allowed to grow and to change? The force is constantly changing flowing and bending fates.”

Standing straighter, she gained a bit of confidence with herself. Spencer was the first Apprentice, something that no one would be able to take away from her. Ashin had chosen her to carry on the legacy. There was something special about her and Spencer was slowly realizing it. Anaya, it hurt her to know that this woman who was loyal to the Empire and considered Ashin family felt this way. Hazel eyes fell to the twi’lek’s weapons, she wanted to fight. Spencer felt it and knew in a hand to hand combat she would only be able to fend off the Sith for so long. Though, she had a bit of an upper hand, she had already been in Anaya’s head she could easily venture into it once more.

Taking a deep breath she muttered quietly to herself.

There is no ignorance; there is knowledge. There is no fear, there is power. I am the heart of the Force. I am the revealing fire of light. I am the mystery of darkness, in balance with chaos and harmony, Immortal in the Force…

“You’ll never find your true potential if you continue to walk the same path. You need to venture out and find what the Force is willing to teach you. Why can’t you let anyone help you? Why can’t you let people in Anaya Fen? Maybe you’re right, maybe you are alone, but not because no one wants to be around it…but because you’ve chosen to be alone.”

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

Spencer's words crumbled her resolve to not hurt her, to not let her anger get the better of her. But she was Anaya Fen, and no matter how hard she tried her fury would always win. she brought the back of her hand across Spencer's face with a scream of rage.

"ENOUGH!"

The space between the cracked with energy. "I don't want to let people in! I don't need to let people in to grow and I don't need the light to grow either. You keep your balance Spencer Jacobs, and I will keep my darkness, because in the dark I can grow. I tried to let people in, and they ruined me. Never again."

"Stay out of my head." Turning she began to walk away. Her judgement was made, Spencer was not a weakness, but the speed at which she got under her skin and into her mind meant she could do the same, if she hadn't already, to Ashin. That concerned her.

 

[Allyson Locke]

A whimper slipped from the girl’s mouth as she felt the harsh contact from the back of the Twi’lek’s hand. She didn’t touch and allowed her face to turn with the blow and remain there. She listened to Anaya never looking at her in the eye. Perhaps she had pushed her luck a little far and now this was the aftermath. Still, Spencer knew Anaya was strong and she had gathered enough information for herself in case the woman wanted to turn on her.

Looking at the woman’s back she fought the urge to attack her; it wouldn’t be hard to spark a fight. Spencer knew she would be able to fend the Twi’lek off for some time, but would she be able to win? Frowning, a hand finally came up to rub her cheek. Deciding it would be better if she let it bruise, it would provide a reminder of this conversation. Biting her lip, she decided against what her gut was telling her and she shouted at the retreating woman.

“I’ll stay out for now, but I’ve learned all that I needed.”

Dropping her hand to her side she spoke again a bit softer this time and a bit of her naive nature returned. She became a glimpse of the girl Anaya remembered first meeting.

“I would never ruin you, if you gave me a chance.”

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

Anaya stopped her retreat at Spencer's shout, unsure if that was a veiled threat or not. What had she learnt? That Anaya didn't let anyone in, that she chose to be alone? How was that information useful? She chewed her lip as she thought, placing it in the same box as Spencer's reaction to her emotions. There was a link here and it needed to be analysed...thoroughly.

She spun at Spencer's last words, her own expression softening slightly she took a few steps back towards her and stopped. Was Spencer trying to manipulate her? That sudden flick back to that naïve Jedi girl was almost to well timed. There was only one way to find out and that was to roll with it.

"Why would you want to get in, Spencer?" she replied softly.

 

[Allyson Locke]

This was a bit unexpected. Spencer hadn't expected for Anaya to turn back around and want to talk more to her. Spencer held the throbing cheek and remembered the last time Anaya had gotten close to her. She wasn't sure if she wanted to get that close again to the twi'lek. Pausing for a moment she thought about the quesiton that was being asked, she didn't have an answer right off the bat. Everything she had been saying had been through up of over the course of knowing the woman, but why would she want to prove her thoughts wrong. Spencer lowered her head and thought a bit longer.

"Why? Because under everything Anaya we're pretty fething similar. I can't help but feel that's the reason I'm drawn to you. For what reason besides that I don't know. I want to find out but you're going to have to let me in some how. I'm going to have to do the same, I promise I won't do it by using what I've been taught."

Remebering when Ashin took her throne and how the force drain along with all the emotions in the room threw her mind into Chaos. Anaya being able to understand Spencer's gifts offered her the fond memory.

"I still owe you for that time, when Ashin took the throne. You showed me a bit of kindness...the least I could do is the same to you. Anaya, just give me a chance?"

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

"A chance?" she repeated softly, as though the concept was lost on her. Her lekku twitched as she thought, torn between suspicion, using the friendship to her own gain, and for once actually trusting someone. She wasn't sure how she felt about being compared to Spencer under everything, because under everything what was Anaya? She wasn't even sure if she knew the answer to that question.

She knew she was determined and dedicated to her cause, that she was volatile and occasionally reckless. There was fear there too, fear of failure. She closed her eyes and relaxed with a sigh letting her anger go her suspicion go. She opened her eyes again.

"In my experience, trust takes time to build. I offered you kindness, because I trusted Ashin's judgement on keeping you around. Do I trust you?" she paused "I'm not sure yet. But I still trust Ashin, so i'll give you a chance."