Private Afterimage

[Alicio Organa]

Training Room, Jedi Temple
Coruscant

Painless Steel - Bohren & Der Club of Gore​

Back when he still lived on Alderaan, Alicio would take walks when he felt antsy.

The planet's vivid, wind-chilled woodland paths were perfect for a bit of introspection. With nothing but the breeze rustling through the tamaracks, the smell of crushed pine needles, and the occasional trilling of forest birds to keep him occupied, a walk in the woods cleared the young Count's mind, helped him focus in on what was important, and discard the clutter.

But Coruscant held no such privacy. Here, there was never a moment alone, save for the sanctity of one's own home. It was exhausting, always being near others, always being watched, never a moment to simply be.

The closest thing Alicio had found to it was practice with his blade, late at night in the Jedi Temple. While he wasn't a member of the Order itself, dating a Council Member had it's perks, including free reign of the training wing. At this time of night, the halls were eerily still, giving the Count the solitude he so desperately craved.

Alicio imagined a lilting waltz in his head as he swung his blade, it's ponderous movements hypnotic against the growing evening beyond the transparisteel walls. Alicio's style was slow, intellectual, like the gentle lapping of a wave against the shoreline, rather than the crashing tsumani many lightsaber wielders employed. Economic, yet precise. Constant, yet thoughtful.

There had been a lot on his mind, as of late. His mistrust of the Senate, the stresses of trying to secretively help Denon, but what laid heaviest on Alicio's heart tonight were his musings on the Force. It had been a constant annoyance in the back of his mind ever since he had first met Kai Bamarri . The Force, that nebulous, mysterious power he possessed, had always been at best a tool, and at worst an opponent. Rarely a comfort. Never an ally.

The Jedi had something he didn't; trust.

How could he trust the Force, when it seemed so... random? Fickle? Cruel even, at times? What does 'trusting the Force' even mean?

Of course, it was times like this, when questions and uncertainties plague the mind, that this nebulous, mysterious power decides to speak.

 

[Alicio Organa]

One moment, he was in the training room, blade flashing around him.

The next, he was standing on an ocean.

Alicio gasped in shock, gazing out into an infinity in each direction. Around him, rolling waves of oil-slick black water, seemingly without end. Above, a dark blue sky, overcast by angry, navy thunderclouds. Below, an expanse of midnight, the shifting surface tension somehow supporting the weight of his boots. The taste of sea salt and sickly incense burned hot against his tongue, his nose, as he surveyed this new area.

"Hello?," he chanced, his voice echoing out over the ocean. "Is... is anyone there?"

No response. Alicio decided to take a cautious step forward.

With a yell of surprise, he fell through the water, disappearing into the dark depths.

 

[Alicio Organa]

Before he could fill his lungs, Alicio was pulled beneath the black sea.

Eyes screwed shut, the Count clawed at the water, trying to swim, but failing to find purchase, as he sunk deeper and deeper into the darkness. Bubbles forced their way from his mouth as he struggled, the pressure of the ocean squeezing against his chest as he fell.

The Force was unknowable. All-powerful. Feral. How could it be anything other than this? An endless, bottomless ocean of power? He had to fight it. He had to keep afloat.

"The Force is your greatest ally. It's a part of who you are. Trust that it will help you, and it will."

How could he trust something so cruel?

<The Force itself isn't cruel. People are.>

He couldn't. He could barely think. It was all so much.

"Try envisioning a cup that is slowly filling and then once it is full you have to tip it over to empty it. The mind can be the same busy busy filling a person with thoughts until it either spills over, which is when we feel pressure the most, or you have to empty it to start over. Then focus on hearing only your heartbeat, drown everything else out."

Alicio listened to his heart. The steady thumping against his ears, quiet at first, but slowly eclipsing everything else. He let thoughts flow past on the currents, until he wasn't drowning anymore. He wasn't fighting anymore. He was simply being.

And suddenly, he was standing on the ocean again. The same scene greeted him, but this time, it felt different, somehow. Just as dark, just as infinite, just as powerful... But it was holding him up. Keeping him afloat. It wanted to help him see.

So he let it.

 

[Alicio Organa]

Alicio opened his eyes, greeted by the sight of the training area once more, Introspect finally coming to rest at his side. He glanced around the room, confirming that it was, in fact, physical space, and that nothing was out of place.

It was as if his vision had come and gone in the blink of an eye.

Something did feel different, though. It took the Count a moment to figure out exactly what it was. He looked down at his hand, summoning a bit of Force to his grasp. But this time, he didn't fight it for dominance. He didn't use his fear to corral it, or his peace of mind to tame it. Instead, he imagined a sea of limitless potential. All he had to do was tap into that. The Force was a part of him. Therefore, to trust the Force...

...he had to trust himself.

The pressure continued to constrict his palm, unchanging, unmoving, but for one, glorious second, he felt it. That limitless potential, of what could be, dancing across his fingertips.

The Count closed his fist, deactivated his lightsaber, and replaced it at his side. That was enough training for today. With any luck, perhaps Amani would still be awake. He'd been meaning to ask her to rewatch "Gone with the Wookiee" with him. Force knows he didn't remember much of anything beyond the first thirty minutes. Then, of course, he had to prepare for his 10 o'clock senate meeting tomorrow.

Alicio would meditate more on these new lessons, of potential and trust and power, another day. Now, it was time to go home.