Aftermath

[Josh Dragovalor]

Two Years Prior​

This was... Well, quite frankly it might just be the happiest moment of his life. Years spent searching, years spent banging against a wall trying to figure out what to do... Years of pain and suffering and hard work and finally... It was all paying off. He had his brother back... He may be the only living member of his family left, but... He'd take it. He had his brother back... That was all that Josh cared about in this moment.

Once the embrace had ended, Josh would smile. "You've gotta meet Shmi, Nick. She's... Well... Quite frankly, she's amazing. She puts a smile on my face just at the sight of her... And odds are, she'll make you smile too."

Nick couldn't help but smile. How long had it been since he had genuinely smiled? He had spent so long hating that face of his brother, but seeing that real, genuine smile made him give his own. It felt... Surreal, to feel loved for the first time in longer than he could remember.


"This feeling..."

He still didn't know how to describe it.

"... Thank you."

That was all that he could bring himself to say. This overwhelming sense of relief and happiness was beyond words. All he could do was look his brother in the eyes and find some way to convey just what he had done. He knew... He knew he would be spending his lifetime trying to pay him back for doing this for him, whether he wanted him to or not. But beneath the cruelty that the Sith had instilled in him was just a smidge... Of honor. And that honor demanded he do everything he could to pay him back for all the pain he had brought upon himself for Nick's sake.

As the two began to walk toward the Final Dragon, Nick would stare up at the ship.

"Man... That is a beauty."

He had decided to leave the Fox here. It was a Sith vessal... They would take it back eventually anyway. So they might as well have it. Nick had the credits to buy himself a new one. One that wouldn't carry the memories of the horrible things that he had done.

"So I'm wondering..."

"Hm?"

"... What color should I make my lightsaber now that I'm not digging the red so much anymore?"

Josh stared at his little brother for a moment, it taking a moment to realize that he had just made a joke. Josh's lips began to twitch into a grin, and the both of them began to laugh. The laugh evolved to hysterical as tears fell down their faces.

"You seem kind of like a green lightsaber person to me" Josh would crack with a chuckle. "I mean, you could also go with hot pink, but..."

More laughter ensued, but Nick shook his head.

"Green it is then."

As they neared the vessal, Nick still was full of questions.

"Got any Jedi stories? I'm sure you got tons."

Part of him just wanted to hear his brother talk. Wanted to hear him as happy as he had been... There was something satisfying about it. Something that filled him with a joy he couldn't describe. He wanted to see and hear more of it. He wanted more of that positive energy radiating all around them....

Josh chuckled in turn.

"I do. When we're on the ship, I'll tell you as many as you want until we get back to Naboo... Promise."

Nick found himself smiling at that as he nodded his head.

"... It's a promise."

Josh would then look toward Nick, a mischievous little smirk crossing his lips.

"Ever find a girl of your own? Or well, a guy even. I mean, I won't judge or anything"

Nick was taken by surprise by it, but shook his head.

"Had one, a girl I mean, before I went to the Sith. Was a bit of a freak, but I loved her for it. Disappeared though. Never heard from her again, and for the most part forgot when I committed myself to the Sith. There's a lot of things about my life that I'm only beginning to recall now, if I'm being honest."

That brought a frown to Josh's face for a moment. That realization of how deep Sith indoctrination just might actually be... It was mind-boggling. It explained so much, and yet... Somehow it made him sad. It made him sad to realize how much of one's personality may have ended up being locked away, their memories and all, when indoctrinated as heavily as he had been, by what Nick was saying. It made him think of the few Sith he had met that he'd managed to actually somewhat get along with... Like Krest, like Ophidia, and a handful of others... He wondered for a moment what they were like before they became what they were.

His empathy in that moment for them was beyond words.

"... Josh?"

"... Mmm?"

"... Is something wrong?"

"... No, no. Just... Thinking."

"About what?"

"Just about-"

He hadn't been able to finish his sentence when a large shot would blast down upon them from the sky. It had been Nick who had seen it first, and before Josh could react, a movement of the Force had sent him flying backwards and out of range of the blast.

Nick. It had been Nick who had done it. Josh sat up just in time to see Nick look toward him, knowing the blast was right on top of him...

And he smiled. A bittersweet smile.

"NICK!"

The explosion that ensued when the blast hit the ground was massive. It had been a large missile, shot by a massive ship up above that he just now had begun to make out... When the smoke cleared...

Nick was gone. Only his robes, a smoking wreck - and what was left of his lightsaber remained. Josh looked up to see the vessal once more, noting it was clearly that of the Sith before it would fly off. Josh's eyes were wide, his pupils shrunk as his gaze fell toward where the blast had fell as he slowly made his way toward what was left. He could not sense Nick's force signature. There was nothing left...

"No... No no no no... Please don't let this be real..." He began to whisper, his voice hasty and falling all over itself as he fell to his knees, his mind running around in circles as he tried to process everything that was happening, everything he was going through.

The Sith had done it, just like that... The moment it was clear he was no longer on their side, they had struck... The attack was cowardly, they hit him from behind like a coward... By ship, no less. Couldn't even come out to face him like men. The more seconds that ticked by, the more Josh's mind began to comprehend everything. All he had suffered through, for all these years...

It had been for nothing.

His brother was gone... His brother was dead. The Sith had taken his father, everyone he'd come to know, and love... And now they'd taken his brother away.

"No, no, no... Damnit, damnit, DAMNIT!

DAMNIT!"

Tears welled up and fell down his face as the distraught Jedi Master would slam a fist onto the ground where his brother had just been, not caring about the pain of it. Not caring about the blood that dripped from the cracked and broken skin upon impact. His training to learn the dark side of the Force had placed a mental block that had kept his emotions in check, but now... Now he couldn't control them. His feelings, his emotions... They were all over the place and all he could think about was the fact that his brother was gone, and the Sith had taken him away.

Where was that empathy he had felt, the empathy he had felt beyond words just mere moments ago? Where did it go?

It was gone.

Gone with the rest of his mind.

His irises tinted from their brimming brown to a hateful crimson as he finally just...

Let go.

Every inch of hatred and anger he felt came out in that moment.... Flames generally produced from the hands by positive emotions, his passions for what he did, came out... But not spawned by the same techniques that Josh had spent years honing. No, they were brought out naught but unyielding rage... And they burned far more fiercely - threatening to engulf and swallow the very body that had summoned them to reality.

The scream of bloodlust and fury that emerged from the young man's lungs was accompanied by a raging inferno that would for a time... Render a patch of land on Mustafar far blacker than it had ever been.

---------------

Josh had arrived back at the homestead on Naboo alone and empty-handed, managing to get in past Shmi's notice. He hadn't wanted her to see him like this. Despite where his mind was right now, the last thing he wanted to do was worry the woman that he loved.

He'd found himself downstairs, in the basement that had become a training room for him. In that moment, he just wanted to be alone. The emotions running rampant throughout his very being had become impossible to control but all he could think about was the fact he had failed. He had gone through so much pain and suffering to bring Nick back... And when he'd finally done it, the Sith had taken him away from him again.

He couldn't control it. He couldn't control his anger, his rage... He couldn't control the wave of emotions surging through his body as he just wanted to strike out at everything around him.

He found he had lost himself.

"DAMNIT!"

The scream was followed by a hard blow that struck the stone walls, leaving a clear dent as he finally collapsed to his knees. He'd come here to train, to try and blow off the steam where he'd be unseen... And be alone for awhile. But all he found was suffering he could not escape from, emotions he could not escape. All he could do was think... And right now, thinking was a very dangerous thing. Tears welled up in his eyes as all he could imagine was that moment where everything had come crashing down...

He was a broken man and he knew it.

And there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

[member="Shmi Labooda"]

 

[Pinda Solthar]

She had a powerful sense...but she didn't need it to feel the tension that rose in the home. Part of her felt it in the pit of her stomach and she knew it was Josh. In fact he'd gone on some sort of assignment and failed to tell her...so she was already worried. There was that and the fact that she recently found out she was pregnant... she really didn't know how to feel.

When she came to the conclusion that he was at the center of all the emotional distress she followed it. Finding him in the basement she stood in the back watching him, trying to make out whether he was alright or not. She'd made it up earlier that she wouldn't read his mind purposefully, they were trying to live normal lives outside of their work and so in the home she normally kept her prying mind to herself.

But in this instance...she couldn't help it. She loved Josh more than anything...and when he hurt so did she. He'd been pushing her away...and she'd been trying to slowly build his trust in her but...

"Josh..."

She breathed heavily,

"What's wrong? When did you get back? Where did you even go?"

[member="Josh DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

When Shmi spoke, a hand would rise up and by instinct fire a stream of lightning via Electric Judgement toward Shmi. With his state though, it missed, hitting the wall. His fists clenched as he would slowly let his head rise up to look at her. He realized what he had done, and his pupils shrank as his eyes widened in an expression of absolute horror. Slowly, he managed to get to his feet. And yet, all Shmi had done was ask what was going on...

He walked toward her, incredibly slowly, one step at a time, with a rigidness that made it out like he could fall at any moment. His entire body was shaking, and he couldn't even look Shmi in the eyes when he reached her, steadily taking her hands. Whether it was a measure of affection or because he needed the support to stay standing, who knows?

His head lowered again, unable to meet her eyes as he just stared at the floor, tears streaming down his face.

"They took him away... They killed him... Everything I've done has been for nothing..." He whispered. "I've absolutely destroyed myself to bring him back, and they killed him..."

He was clearly nowhere near mentally sound in this moment.

[member="Shmi Labooda"]

 

[Pinda Solthar]

Of course her initial reaction was to duck or move out the way, her body jolted to her right as she could believe that he attempted to attack her; what if it had hit? She looked over at him in absolute horror before she noticed him approaching her, she backpedalled a bit before hitting a back wall. She noticed his entire demeanor just wasn't him...

"Josh..."

He was crying, "What's wrong? What's going on-"

He answered her, speaking of someone he was attempting to save or bring back...she honestly didn't know what was going on. She hesitated but eventually reach out and grabbed his face on both side. She wiped his tears and brought him down towards the ground to where she could comfort him.

"Who are talking about?" She pressed her forehead against his, "Tell me...I'm here for you"

[member="Josh DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

He was going to need a few minutes.

After he'd taken some time to get his bearings back and remember where he was, he stayed seated, leaning against Shmi as he tried to find the words to explain everything.

"... My brother. My little, baby brother" He finally revealed. "He survived the explosion all those years ago and found himself in the grasp of the Sith. It was a few years ago I found him, and after a few encounters, it came to light that he didn't want to live that life anymore. He wanted a real life, a normal life... But he felt that he was too far gone to do that anymore" He would explain, his head low, unable to meet her eyes.

"He thought that with what he had done, how far immersed into the dark side he was... That he was forced to serve for the rest of his life. So... I..."

He had to take a deep breath, shaking his head. This was going to be the hard part.

"... I... I'm sorry."

It came out in almost a mix between a whisper and a whimper.

"... I've been keeping secrets from you all this time. And that's not fair to you, but... I didn't know what you would think. I was scared to lose you, I didn't know if you would put duty over our relationship... Or worse, have to burden the secret with me. In the latter, I... I didn't want to put that on you. It wasn't fair to you if I did. But... Neither was keeping this a secret, and I'm sorry."

He let out a sigh.

"... I thought hard on how I could fix this. There had to be a way, right? He wanted it bad, I could see it in his eyes... But he felt he had no control over his life anymore. He felt that so long as he was the way he was... He couldn't stop it. So... I did something that I knew was going to come back to bite me eventually. I... Decided to take that trek myself."

He bit his lip, looking further away from her now. It was ironic, that he was doing the opposite of pushing her away, he was opening up to her... And yet the more he talked the less he was able to look at her. The more he talked the more he hated himself for keeping it secret... And... The more he thought he didn't deserve her.

"I went to Coryth Elaris first, told her what I was doing as she held no loyalty to any side... No bias. I told her that... I was going to train. In the dark side of the Force. Just enough to experience in some form what my brother, Nick, did...

I asked her to keep it a secret from the Jedi, but should I fail in my mission, should I fall... I asked her to save me. And if she couldn't...

... Kill me.

I refused to be the cause of needless death for my own selfish desire to save my brother. If I had to die, I had to die. But... I hoped it wouldn't come to that. Either way... I began my training in secret. I searched far and wide across the galaxy for the ways to learn... And in that, I found the person I would never dream of asking for help, but... It was her I realized I needed the most.

Her name... Is Circe Savan.

I hate Circe. I hate her and everything she has done. She was my friend, once. She was the wife of my best friend, Jak Sandrow. But... Because of her, he's gone. Because of her, my brother became a Sith. She was the one who took my brother away the first time, she trained him... She turned him into this monster who wanted to be free but thought he could only be a monster. I asked her to train me in the ways of the dark side... And despite all the times I'd attempted to have her arrested, she agreed, likely out of amusement of the idea I would want to train in that... Or perhaps, to use me for her ends. That was likely her mindset, though she never had the chance.

It was... Not easy. I mean, how do you undo decades of hardening yourself to the dark side's temptation? It always seemed so... Easy, by what I had heard. And yet it was the hardest thing in my life. I didn't know how to embrace my hatred, I didn't know how to let it out. In the end though...

I found out why choosing Circe was the right call.

She threw all she had done in my face, and... Eventually I lost control and attacked her. Not with my lightsaber, no, I needed her alive. I beat her near to death with my bare hands, and in doing so, was able to tap that anger into my training. Of course, she stopped training me after that, since I'd nearly killed her and more or less severed our temporary alliance. Which... Was fine, I suppose. I didn't need her anymore.

I trained on my own, now that I had the tools to work with... And despite figuring it out, it killed me to do it. I felt sick every single time I trained. I... I did horrible things to my mind as I forced myself to use something I despised so much. It felt wrong, it felt sickening... I found myself vomiting every session but I keep going because everything I did, I did it for my brother."

He growled lightly as he stared at the ground again. He didn't want to see her expression, he didn't want to see what he guessed would be horror, and disdain on her face. He didn't want to see that from the woman he loved... And if he could help it, he'd never have told her at all...

But it was time to come clean.

"In the end, my mind was nearly destroyed. To the point it had put a block on itself that prevented me from using the dark side anymore. Every single time I tried, my mind flashed back to all the pain I went through whenever I used it. All the agony, all those sick feelings... I knew it was now or never after that, so... I sought him out. I was never going to be able to train in it anymore, I wouldn't be able to bring it out. I had hoped that I'd be able to bring it out during what was to come..."

He sighed. "It was... Ironic. I had what every Jedi dreamed of, Shmi. I was immune to the dark side. I could never be turned, never tempted, no matter what was put in front of me. I had accidentally developed a mental block that Jedi would do anything to have... But the price I paid wasn't worth it. Those memories make it almost impossible to sleep. They rip and tear at me mentally every waking moment and I want more than anything for them to go away, but...

Either way, I had what I needed. So I found him. He'd decided that the only way to free himself of his conflicting emotions was to kill me. So... We met, and he attacked me. In the ensuing battle, I tried and tried to pull out what I had learned, but the block prevented me, and almost killed me in the process.

In the end... I managed to bring it out, just once. Just once was enough, to unleash every inch of power I had... The power was beyond my wildest dreams, but the price I paid to attain it was too much and I would never want to have to use that power again if it meant experiencing all that again. In the end... It let me defeat him, and... He expected me to kill him.

He expected me to take his place in the Sith, and in that instant... I told him the truth. I told him that despite what I'd learned, despite being what seemed to be too far gone...

... I was still me. I controlled my life. I controlled what I did. I controlled if I were a Jedi or a Sith and I chose to remain what I'd always been and hopefully always will be. And... I told him that he could do that too. There... Was never a too far gone. And finally... He... He understood."

He choked up a little bit, trying not to start crying again, but it was becoming difficult too.

"It... It made me so happy to see the look on his face when he realized... And it made me happier than anything to know that I finally had what I wanted... I... I just wanted my family back in some form, Shmi... That was all I wanted. My mother and my father are gone, but... My brother was alive, and while he was still alive, I still had family... But not in the way he was. For a few moments I had my little baby brother back, and I was just so happy... Everything I had gone through was finally worth it, Shmi...

And.... And..."

He found himself unconsciously tightening his grip on her, without being able to look at her, as he glared down at the floor, trying to hold in the tears again. The voice that came after that exuded a mixture of devastation... And absolute, complete utter contempt for the people who had done this to him... Done this to his little baby brother...

"... They're... They're cowards. They're bloody fething cowards... They saw what was going on, the Sith... They... They killed him. They didn't even have the balls to come down and fight him like men. They shot him from their ship. He saw it coming, I didn't... He made sure I made it.

He... He didn't."

His hands balled into fists clenched while hanging onto her shirt as he finally lost it, the tears beginning to fall again.

"I hate them... I hate them and everything they do. They took my parents away, they took my friends away... They took Sao away... They took Jak away... They took away my childhood, they took away years of my life while they tortured me and experimented on me... But now.... They... They took my brother away. He was hardly even an adult, Shmi... He was just a boy... He was a confused little baby boy... All he wanted was to be free to live the life he wanted to, and they killed him...

And... And he was just so wonderful, after those clouds went away... I wanted nothing more than to put this all behind me, I was going to bring my baby brother home, I wanted him to meet you... I told him all about just how wonderful and amazing you were, and how happy you made me and I wanted him to understand just how you were so wonderful and why you were so important to me, and why you made me so happy, I wanted him to see for himself... But now I can't... Now it'll never happen, now he's gone... They took him away...

Everything I did was for nothing... I'm dead inside, and I have nothing to show for it. Part of me just... Wants to die, but another part of me wants to live just to kill every single one of them.

They took him away... And now there is a rift in my heart that can never be filled. I just... I wanted my family. That was all I ever wanted, and now they took my last hope away."

He didn't know what to think anymore, what to do.

"I... I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know where my future lies now. With the way I am mentally now, the Jedi will know. They'll know, and that'll be it... But... But most importantly...

... I'm sorry I kept this from you, I really am... I'm a terrible lover, and I don't deserve you, and if you want to walk away now..." He trailed off, letting out a deep breath. That was the last thing he wanted her to do, he knew even as he continued to choke up. But it was the right thing to do, to understand if she wanted to, after all he had done...

"... I'll understand. After everything I've done."

[member="Shmi Labooda"]

 

[Pinda Solthar]

And here he was laying into her everything....and she could only hold on to comfort him because she loved him and of course would be there for him through such a trial. But...even she had to think about it, of course she was heartbroken at the fact that he kept all of this from her...she wondered

"Josh...shh shh. Try to breath, I'm here..." she could feel his grip growing tighter and she held on with as much force as she could. "It hurts I know... but your going to make yourself sick." He was fragile, and she'd never seen him like that before.

He was damaged...carried a lot of scars that he had trouble with. Josh was soft and sweet at heart, and only those who knew that would know that a lot of things that have happened to him personally have been very traumatizing. He needs...hope; commitment. Just once...She continued to wipe his tears,

"Listen to me...you did nothing wrong. Everything you did was out of love...and it was all you could do. Now you have to be strong...you have to upkeep his memory."

But for as long as she could be there for him...she couldn't help but feel her own heart breaking...

[member="Josh DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

He was hurting. Everything was hurting. Physically, mentally, emotionally, he was hurting... He laid everything that was on his mind out for Shmi, it was all he could do, he felt, to even begin to make up for lying, for hiding all of this from her for all this time... Their entire relationship, he had kept secrets, and the more that he thought about it, the more it made him even sicker than his brother's death and everything that had happened to him, had already...

But even he was surprised, so much, by how supportive Shmi was. He had lied, he had kept secrets... And from a duty perspective, he had broken the rules they followed. He had broken the Jedi Code over and over again... Sure, it was out of love, but those were rules and he had broken them.

And yet... Not only had Shmi disregarded them, not only had she decided not to tell a soul, it seemed... She supported him. Despite everything, she was staying... All she was able to think about, clearly, was his own feelings... She didn't act like he'd done a thing wrong. And if she didn't think he had...

Well... Perhaps it was true.

He slowly began to calm down, as he would bury his face in her shoulder and just let the tears flow. And for awhile... He just let it all out.

It felt like hours after that, maybe it even had been hours, when he would finally dry the well thanks to Shmi's constant diligence.

He finally managed to stare into her eyes. He didn't know what to say, he didn't know what to do... All he could think about was what she had done - and was doing - for him.

He didn't deserve her.

And yet he didn't want to leave her for a reason like that. She deserved someone far better... But so long as she was willing to deal with him... All he could do, he knew, was try to be better for her. Be the boyfriend she deserved...

There had been something running through his mind for some time, and it crossed it again... But he didn't know if it was the best time.

Regardless... All he could think to say when he looked into her eyes was...

"... I'm sorry. For everything."

[member="Shmi Labooda"]

 

[Pinda Solthar]

She sat there with him the entire time of course, then he finally apologized. She bit down on her lip and of course her eyes drifted away.

"Josh..." she said, taking a deep breath afterward. "Sometimes I feel like I'm not worthy. You don't trust me..." she held back her own emotions, and she almost didn't want to mention anything because it wasn't about her at all. "I told you before...I would fight any battle for you if you would just let me. Because I care about you that much, because I...i'm in love with you."

She refused to look up, and even her grip lightened. "You kept all of this from me...and disappeared. I didn't know what to do. I stepped away from the Order to be with you...of course it was a mutual decision but...I did it to follow you. I have been right by your side...or at least trying to be. Running...trying to catch up."

Her voice had grown softer at this point,

"I know you don't trust me completely yet...but let me be there for you. You don't always have to protect me...let me protect you."

Of course she had her own news to share...she'd been meaning to but figured he'd be upset with her.

[member="Josh DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

Her words meant the world to him to hear. He would take a deep breath as he would listen to her speak, and the more she spoke the more that he knew the exact opposite of what she felt... She was worthy, more than worthy. He had lied, kept things, had done terrible things that broke the Code... Sure, they were for love, but they were what they were. And yet, she didn't fault him one bit... And she only seemed to blame herself for not being worth telling in her eyes. It hurt him to know that he made her feel like that though, and he cursed himself for it.

He didn't deserve her, he knew, but as said... He'd do everything he could to make up for it.

He let out a sigh and shook his head, as he placed a hand on her cheek. "Shmi, it's not your fault, not at all... It's not that you're not worthy... I told you, I did it because I didn't want to make the burden of duty get in the way of our relationship, and if that wasn't going to be a factor, make you have to burden yourself with keeping this secret with me. But... Well, I guess I'm just not very good at keeping secrets like this... At least not when it comes to you."

He bit his lip, scratching his head with his free hand.

"I do trust you, I do... And I should have told you. And I'm sorry again that I didn't. I..."

He stared at her for a moment, he could sense something from her, but he wasn't sure what... All he could do was make a guess and ask.

"I feel like there's something you're holding back... Is... Is there something you want to say? I understand if I did wrong, I understand if you want to talk about it... Please don't hide it from me... I promise I'll stop trying to hide things from you, I will..."

He'd pretty much made up his mind at this point. But... What was the right time to say it? And what if she said no? What then?

[member="Shmi Labooda"]

 

[Pinda Solthar]

Her eyes fluttered, but she could also sense he was holding back something, he just happened to call hers out first. Of course she'd been meaning to tell him, whenever he came home but now that he was...she was a tab bit nervous. She wasn't sure how he'd react and whether he'd be upset with her.

She tilted her head, and started playing with her fingers. "Promise me...promise me you won't get upset?" she worried about his reactions first if anything. She herself didn't even know how she felt.

"I'd been meaning to tell you...it's just I haven't seen you and I...I just didn't know how to go about telling you. I thought you might get extremely upset...but then I came down and saw that you were already upset. I didn't think this was the perfect time."

She took a deep breath and released, "Josh...I'm pregnant." her eye grew wide and she looked at his face to catch every single reaction. "Your going to be a dad..."

[member="Josh DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

He took a deep breath as he was clearly worried about what she was going to say. The "Promise me you won't get upset?" made it worse, understandably. But he would slowly nod his head. She was nervous, she was fidgety, and she was afraid he'd get upset if she told him. While he'd said he would trust her, the idea she was cheating, having an affair, obviously crossed his mind. I mean, by how she worded it, how she'd been hiding it, how could he not have that idea?

But still, he took a breath. If she was cheating, well... Honestly, that'd be the end of the relationship, even with what he'd done. What he had done was bad, but he'd never be comfortable with someone who cheated, not ever. But he hoped to the Force that wasn't the case...

But what she said made him stare, for what felt like the longest time.

"I... I... Oh my god..." He whispered, his eyes wide. It took awhile for him to process it, but when he did, he managed to shakily take her hands.

"That's... That's wonderful" He managed out. It was a dream come true for him... He had always wanted, so badly, to have a family like this... To be a father...

He didn't know how to feel right now. One half was devastated, the other half was overwhelmed with joy...

But this had made his decision. That was it. That was the dealmaker there. That was it. He was going to do it, and he was going to do it now.

"... Shmi?"

[member="Shmi Labooda"]

 

[Pinda Solthar]

She nodded to incite the answer out of him; he was staring at her. When he reached for her hands it was a sign of reassurance, because she'd take that over him flipping out. When he declared that it was wonderful she released all the air she'd been holding on too. It was lie a weight had been lifted off her shoulders and she felt the wave of love flow into her.

"Oh..I'm so happy your not upset." But she could tell he was trying to absorb and deconstruct everything all at once. It'd take him some time to process...but he had her, and she'd be there for him through it all. She had that all made up in her head already.

But she could sense that he had something to express as well...the way he'd been looking at her this whole time. His hand was shaking...and she didn't know if it was due to what happened or the baby news but she knew it meant something,

"Hmm?" she connected with his eyes, and placed her hand over his.

[member="Josh DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

He would chuckle in turn at her response. "Now, why would I be upset? You were listening during the times I spoke about wanting a family so badly, no?" He would joke, a light grin crossing his lips as even now, he couldn't help but tease Shmi... Even just a little. But he did have something to express... She'd gotten hers out, suppose it was his turn now, right?

He took a deep breath then, his smile leaving him as he tried to figure out the words. "Well..." He began as he would get up and begin sorting through the things in the basement, until he finally seemed to find what he was looking for. He'd hidden it, if she was looking, obviously in a place he wouldn't expect her to look. Obviously it was meant to be a surprise.

"I... I've been thinking about this for a long time" He would admit as he walked back toward her, gingerly taking her hands as he stared into her eyes. "... Sorry, lost my train of thought. You do have beautiful eyes, I can't help but get a little lost" He would tease, the cheeky grin returning for a moment. At least his confidence was coming back...

He had Shmi to thank for that.

"But today... Well, it sealed it. I mean, Shmi... I'm going to be honest. After today, after what you did... I knew for some time, but today proved it. I've told myself this one thing, but today, well... It confirmed what I have always known, deep down.

That you have always been the one for me... The only person for me."

He took a deep breath as he would search his feelings for the words.

"Shmi... I have never been happier than I have been with you. You are far more than I deserve, I'll admit that... Part of me wants to let you go and find someone who you deserve more, but... The fact is, I love you too much to just try and do something stupid like that. So... I want to be better... Be better for you, and be the man you deserve to have. And I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to attain that... If you'll have me."

He bit his lip, knowing he could be fudging up his words here, but...

"But, that's... That's just it, you know? The rest of my life... That's... That's the key word, you know? Err, key phrase, sorry..." He admitted, blushing a bit at his blunder as he looked down a moment, but seemed to find his confidence, his muse, once more as he looked back at her.

"I want to spend the rest of this life with you, Shmi... That's what my heart says. It's what it's said for a long time, and now, with all that's happened... And with a baby on the way... I think there's no better time to say it.

And... To ask you one boon."

Letting out an exhale, he would be nervous as he would begin to move himself ever so slowly, knowing this could go so badly, could ruin everything between them if she said no...

But he had to trust her.

This, he knew as he finally fell to one knee and uncovered what he'd been hiding. A little box. He knelled down to his knee and looked up at her, opening the box to unveil a ring.

"Shmi Labooda... I ask you to honor me, in being the happiest, luckiest man alive... Will you marry me?"

Oh god, oh god, this could go so wrong, could go so wrong... He found himself holding his breath.

[member="Shmi Labooda"]

 

[Pinda Solthar]

"Yeah but...I don't know. This is a living being...and I just didn't know what you'd think. Especially with it happening now. Maybe I was overthinking..." her voice trailed off at the end. Of course he was teasing...and she could only muster a smirk and shaker her head at the notion of him joking around.

But his smile soon faded...it worried her. Her's later followed, her posture becoming fixed as the mood shifted. He mentioned it had been on his mind for a long time, her eyes grew wide and she motioned with her head for him to spit it out. However to her surprise he complimented her eyes. She giggled and blushed it off, because he was being cute...

He was always cute. But somewhere deep inside...her body felt light. Everything he was saying just drastically increased the deep feeling she had...her legs felt like they weren't even there anymore and she tried her best to follow along without being embarrassed at him expressing how he felt about her.

But despite all of that her smile forced itself on her face and remained their, covering it's ground. Her heart began to race because he'd never expressed himself like this before.

When he came to his knee...her entire body froze.

Gasp

Her mouth dropped a bit. Because it was making sense...all of this. She proceeded with shaking her head but not because she didn't want to marry him it was because she couldn't believe this was really happening.

Her hand laid across her mouth, and her eye began to grow watery.

Then, he popped the question.

"Yes, of course! Aww Josh." she reached out and hugged him, pure excitement. She kissed him, pressing her lips against his because she wanted a show of affection to accompany this moment. she stepped back and playfully slapped his shoulder. "What took you so long?" she questioned, obvious that it made her emotional. In a good way.

[member="Josh DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

The hug and kiss that followed told him he had made the right choice. A big grin would cross his face as he would her her close, returning the kiss with one of his own as he would lean in for a moment to whisper "I love you" into her ear before she pulled back. Of course, her "What took you so long?" response made him laugh, and laugh hard.

"I mean, I kind of wanted to do this earlier, but I wasn't in the best state of mind and all that, and I didn't know for sure if you were wanting to do this permanently and all that..." He would admit with a blush as he would scratch his head in turn. "I guess I was waiting until I knew for sure, you know? I bought this thing months ago, for the love of whatever the hell we worship" He added as he would take her hand and gingerly slip the ring onto her ring finger. Of course he would do so while telling jokes, right? That was so him.

"I'm... I'm glad" He would admit, taking a deep breath as he stared into her eyes. "Glad that this is mutual. Glad that you want to spend the rest of this life with me, just as I've wanted to with you, for so long. I'm the luckiest guy alive right now" He spoke softly.

"Thank you."

[member="Shmi Labooda"]

 

[Pinda Solthar]

"I love you too" she blushed while saying it, they rarely ever said those words even though they were so sure. She'd been in love with him for the longest actually...but never imagined it'd ever get to this point.

She listened to his expression as he took her hand and slipped the ring on, of course it completely brightened up her mood; her entire face lit up. She tried her best to even hold back the emotions...her other hand came and covered her mouth as she sniffled and held back tears.

"I'm glad too..." she kept sniffling and chuckling her way through the motions. Shaking her head, "No, thank you. You've been so good to me and your the sweetest person I know. I've wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of this life with you..."

She wiped the edge of her eye with her knuckle, catching a small single tear. "I'm so happy right now I don't even know what to say."

She wrapped her arms around him and clung to him, pressing herself into his person.

[member="Josh DragonsFlame"]