Private An Evening On Erakhis

[Starlin Rand]

Aboard the Surrey
Days after the invasion of Lao-mon…

“Help me collect the ashes. His family will want them.”​

Starlin didn’t know what he was doing here.

Lao-mon had been a whirlwind of emotions for him. Between being tortured by a Sith who forced him to relive some of his most traumatic childhood memories, briefly feeling Nimdok “die”, and losing himself to bloodlust in the frenzy of battle, he just wanted to find a safe place to curl up in a ball and cry. And then sleep for a week, undisturbed by the cries of a galaxy perpetually in need of rescue.

Instead, he had parked his starfighter in the hangar of one of Nimdok’s ships after agreeing to follow his mentor to Erakhis, a planet he’d never been to. There he would be meeting with people he didn’t know, under uncomfortably tragic circumstances: the delivery of a dead man's ashes to his grieving family. All because he sensed Nimdok needed a friend to stick close by him in such trying times.

Yet Nimdok had spent the trip locked up in his quarters, refusing to speak to or be seen by anyone except at meals. Tammuz Hoole’s ashes, gathered up in a makeshift urn and stowed away in a protective case the professor normally used for storing fragile artifacts, were his only companion. Starlin didn’t know how he could stand it, sleeping next to a constant reminder that his mentor was gone. Dead at the hands of a trusted ally, no less.

Jaina had been equally distant, confining herself to the cockpit. On the morning of their arrival, Starlin found her sitting in the pilot’s chair, staring out through the viewport windows. The planet Erakhis loomed ahead of them, a blue marble on a backdrop of black.

Tammuz’s daughter Inanna had chosen to settle on Erakhis with her family. Her mother had joined them shortly after Lao-mon was conquered by the Brotherhood of the Maw, displacing millions of Shi’ido. Perhaps still more would become refugees if the Mawites succeeded in their plans of genocide. But when Starlin had tried to ask questions or give Nimdok updates on news of the battle's outcome, Nimdok barely responded. He didn’t seem particularly concerned about the fate of his homeworld anymore. Starlin supposed that preventing the extermination of his species seemed like a remote goal devoid of urgency compared to the more immediate, personal task ahead. But it was still so eerie to see him like this. Tired, drained, apathetic...

Starlin’s gaze drifted back to Jaina. He wasn’t sure why Nimdok had brought her along. After all, Jaina was the one who had fired a disruptor in hopes of killing their enemy, only for the shot to misfire and vaporize Tammuz instead. Starlin could have done the job of piloting the ship, so it wasn’t like she was necessary to get them to Erakhis. It seemed rather cruel to have her here, let alone face the family of the man she had killed with her recklessness.

No, not recklessness, he thought, observing the lack of emotion apparent in the biot’s sculpted features as she turned to look at him. A calculated risk. She gambled with someone else’s life, and lost.

At least, that was how Nimdok had explained it. Starlin hadn’t actually been there to see it happen, but hearing his mentor describe the scene had been harrowing enough.

"We will be landing soon," Jaina said, interrupting Starlin's thoughts. "Our destination is in the area known as the Great Shallows. There may be a storm."

"Okay," Starlin murmured, turning to leave the cockpit. Jaina had always made him a little uneasy, but now she just plain creeped him out. He couldn't stand to be around her for long.

As he headed down the corridor, he passed the door to Nimdok's room. As usual, it was locked. He raised a hand to knock, let it drop, hesitated, then muttered "Feth it" under his breath and rapped his knuckles against the door.

"What is it?" Nimdok's voice was muffled.

"We're touching down on Erakhis soon," Starlin replied. When there was no reply, he added, "Uh, how you... how are you doing?"

"Fine."

"Good. Good..." Starlin leaned against the edge of the frame, running his thumb over his lip as he grimaced. "Hey, uh... what are these people like? Are they nice?"

There was a long pause before Nimdok replied, "Yes."

"Okay. A little more detail would be cool, but okay." Starlin sighed. "Anything I should watch out for? Do I have to take my shoes off in their house, observe certain rituals while eating...?"

"Inanna's husband is a Zeltron. As long as you don't go out of your way to offend him, he won't care what you do."

Starlin snorted. "A Shi'ido and a Zeltron, huh? And they have kids together?"

"Adopted."

Thank the Force. "What about... Lilith?" It took him a moment to remember the recently widowed Hoole's name.

His question was met by the longest period of silence yet. "Leave her to me, Starlin."

Starlin felt his skin prickle. Nimdok was a man with a voice that could fill a whole room, yet now he spoke in such quiet, small, defeated tones. It would have been pathetic, if it weren't so upsetting to hear. "Okay," Starlin found himself whispering back. "I'll meet you at the ramp after we land."

Without waiting for a response, he straightened and disappeared into his own room.

 

[Starlin Rand]

Inanna Yomin lay on her side, her eyes open as she stared at nothing. The chrono at her bedside announced it was morning already, and she hadn’t slept a wink. Wet stains on her pillow near the corner of her eye had yet to dry.

Even here on Erakhis, so very far away from Lao-mon, she felt her homeworld dying.

A hand touched her shoulder, gentle fingers rubbing her bare skin. She closed her eyes and clasped her own trembling hand over her husband’s.

“Hey,” he whispered, the bed shifting as he moved closer. She felt his warm breath against her neck, the comfort of his arm around her. “Hey, it’s okay.”

“No.” Her voice sounded strange and inhuman, warped by stress and grief. “It’s not. I can feel people dying, Hal. Through the Force. Suffocating by the thousands.”

He was unsure of what to say, unable to relate to the experience she was enduring. He held her and stroked her hair in silence.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “If you want… if there’s anything I can do… tell me.”

Fresh tears had begun to spill from her eyes, trickling hot and bitter down her face. Hadn’t she cried enough already? She took a shaky breath and wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. “Just… be nice to me,” she rasped. “Try to keep things normal, I guess.”

“Okay.” He kissed her temple, perhaps hoping for a smile.

She had none for him. “I can’t seem to stop crying, but I am numb. I feel nothing. I look at the children, and I don’t know what to say. And my mother...”

A chime rang through the house, announcing the arrival of guests. Hal stirred, waited a few seconds, then said, “I’ll get it.” He gave her shoulder one final squeeze before climbing out of bed.

Inanna listened to the rustle of his clothes as he quickly dressed, then his footsteps drifting away as he left the bedroom. She remained where she lay, blue covers pulled up to her chin. It didn't stop the shivering.

Hal greeted Nimdok and Starlin at the front door, ushering them inside. Nimdok was a somber figure in black, clutching the container which held Tammuz's ashes in his arms. Starlin was also dressed in muted colors, gray and navy blue. Jaina had stayed behind aboard the ship.

Starlin nodded to Hal in the subdued, careful way one handles mourners at a funeral. "Hello," he greeted. "I'm Starlin Rand, a... friend of the professor."

"Hal Yomin." He shook Starlin's hand, then turned to Nimdok, gesturing to the container. "Is this...?

"Yes," Nimdok replied softly.

"You can set it down in here for now," Hal said, leading them into a dining room. "I'll go get Lilith."

"That won't be necessary." Nimdok set the container down on the table, then turned toward the door. His posture was still slumped as if he were still carrying its weight. "I will speak to her myself." Passing Starlin along the way, he paused, then said, "I think it would be best if you didn't attend the funeral, Starlin."

With that, Nimdok disappeared up the stairs.

 

[Starlin Rand]

Two hours later...

The Yomins’ house wasn’t just beachfront property; the place was built halfway underwater. In the absence of anything better to do, Starlin had been standing before one of the waterproof windows gazing at the passing ocean life. Schools of fish in various colors and even a silvery sea turtle swam by the window. He quickly understood why Inanna had decided to settle down on this planet, in this house. It was quiet, peaceful, remote…

When his stomach began to growl with hunger, Starlin’s thoughts wandered to food. He turned to face the fridge and wound up coming face to face with Hal Yomin, Inanna’s husband. The Zeltron was sitting at the kitchen table, staring at him through thick-rimmed black glasses. Starlin wasn’t surprised by his presence, but he was a little unnerved. How long had he been sitting there just watching him?

“Hey,” Starlin greeted, clearing his throat.

Hal nodded, then went back to reading the holonews. A man in his early thirties, he looked much more clean-cut and nerdy than one would expect from a Zeltron. Like Clark Kent, but pink. He definitely wasn’t as bubbly and social as most other Zeltrons Starlin had met.

Nimdok was still upstairs. Starlin could sense his presence, but he was obviously shielding himself emotionally. So far no one else had arrived at the house, nor had he seen Inanna or Lilith. At least, not in person - Inanna appeared in several holographic photos projected on the walls, along with Hal and their two children. She had a nice smile.

Having been more or less ordered by Nimdok to stay out of this family's business, Starlin was on his own, with nothing to do and no one to talk to except Hal.

“So, uh… anything interesting going on around here?” Starlin asked.

Hal didn’t bother to look up. “The usual sort of things.”

“Like what?”

“Sports, nightclubs, bars, theaters.” Hal took a sip of caf from a mug on the table. “Swimming, diving, boating, water skiing. It's a water world, after all.”

“Uh-huh.” Starlin appreciated that Hal was trying to suggest he do something else with his time, rather than just telling him to buzz off. “That all sounds very interesting. But it wouldn’t feel right, just leaving Nimdok here.”

“I don’t think he’d mind,” Hal replied. “He seems pretty preoccupied with Lilith and Inanna, and he did tell you not to go to the funeral.”

“Well, what about you?” Starlin leaned his palms against the table, and suddenly noticed a distinctly chemical odor that clung to the Zeltron. It definitely wasn’t pheromones; they didn’t have any scent. He certainly wasn’t about to ask Hal why he smelled funny. “Are you going to the funeral?”

Hal raised his head, then glanced at his chrono. “I'm going to pick the kids up from school soon. Then we'll all go to the service.”

Starlin heaved a sigh and started to unconsciously pace the room. I knew this was a mistake. I came here with good intentions, but it’s pretty obvious that I’m not wanted. Now what? Should I just leave?...

Rather than return to his reading, Hal watched as Starlin walked back and forth. Finally, he reached into his pants pocket and retrieved a set of keys, holding them aloft. When Starlin continued to pace, he jangled the keys to catch the young man’s attention.

“You’re welcome to take the yacht,” Hal said. “We don’t really use the thing often enough anyway. It was a gift, so don’t go out of your way to wreck it.”

“Wow, thanks.” Starlin held out his hand and Hal dropped the keys into his palm.

“It runs in space, air, and underwater,” Hal explained. “You’re a pilot, aren’t you? I’m sure you can figure it out.” With that, he went back to reading the news.

Starlin headed for the garage, where he found the Luminex-class solar yacht waiting. “Oh baby,” he groaned just looking at the sleek, elegant beauty, before hurrying over to the door and clambering inside.

 

[Starlin Rand]

Sailing out to sea, Starlin’s first order of business was to get something to eat. He went to a cafe with a waterfront view, nibbling on seafood while he watched ships dock in the harbor.

The waters of Erakhis seemed impossibly blue and inviting. He knew there were supposed to be some pretty nasty sea monsters somewhere in the depths, but surely they were far away from the shores of any civilized areas...

Starlin was hit by a sudden pang of guilt. He had taken the yacht in hopes of relaxing and enjoying himself after the stress of Lao-mon—a planet which they had failed to liberate, and whose people were now being exterminated. What he was doing now felt like celebrating, but there was nothing to celebrate.

Well, what else was he supposed to do? He’d come here to support Nimdok and the others, but they didn’t want his comfort. They had no use for it, and he couldn't possibly hope to understand what they were going through. So while they grieved together, he would go off and have his fun, like Hal suggested.

After paying for his meal and leaving the cafe, he went to a nearby beach. Starlin didn't own any swimwear, so he walked into a local shop and bought some swimming trunks and a can of spray-on sunscreen (he was very pale, after all). Getting changed aboard the yacht, he left his clothes locked away in the cabin, then walked out onto the sands.

The beach wasn't very busy at this time of day, apart from a few joggers running along the shore. He spotted a woman with two small children sitting on towels at the far end of the beach, but that was the only sign of anything resembling tourists in the area. Dipping his feet into the cool water, he waded out to sea and swam a few laps, then exited the water only to realize he had neglected to bring along a towel. Typical.

On a whim, he approached the family. "Excuse me," he asked. "Would you happen to have a spare towel?..."

The woman looked up at him. Starlin's stomach flip-flopped when he saw her face.

"Ishani... ?" he blurted.

 

[Starlin Rand]

Starlin hadn't seen Ishani without her veil and long black gown since their breif meeting after Jakku. Back then, her hair had been a long mane of golden waves. Now it was shoulder length and hung in two fishtail braids on either side of her head. She was wearing a very odd wetsuit that made her look like she had amber-colored scales on her legs. Beside her the two children, aged about three, sat in tiny swimsuits, pink for the girl and yellow for the boy. The sun shone on their red hair as they each ate ice cream cones.

Ishani didn't look all that happy to see Starlin. No wonder, after the incident at Solstice Vine where he had beaten up her date and wound up spending the rest of the night in jail.

"I didn't expect to find you here," he said quickly, wanting to make sure she knew this was just another crazy coincidence. He certainly wasn’t stalking her. "But, uh... I'm sorry for what I did on Bespin. I was an idiot that night."

She gazed at him, her expression unreadable, then turned away. Interpreting this as a rejection of his apology, Starlin sagged.

“Uh, well, it was nice seeing you—”

“Wait.”

He paused. She gave him a small, nervous smile, then ducked her head again. "You said you needed a towel?"

"Yeah."

Still without looking up, she handed him a folded blue towel.

"Thanks." He dried himself off, then wrapped the damp towel around his shoulders. There was a slightly chilly breeze blowing down the beach, a sign that evening had arrived.

"It's okay," she said suddenly after a long period of silence. "The man I was with—he was in league with evil."

Starlin's brow furrowed. "Oh?"

She nodded. "He had a Shadow with him. I couldn't see it at first, but after you started beating the Mirialan up, it appeared and attacked you. That's why I sprayed you with Chthonic."

"A Shadow? Chthonic?"

"Shadows are spirit beings from the Netherworld. They look like a black mist or cloud of energy. The one who attacked you in that nightclub was called Kal. I’d met him before—he was friends with Arcturus, but... well, let's just say I saw through him." Leaning back, she stretched her legs out in front of her. "I didn't like any of his friends, really… and Chthonic, that’s the perfume I sprayed on you to get Kal to leave you alone. It has anti-Netherworld properties."

Blinking, Starlin's memory of that night at Solstice Vine began to clear. He remembered it now—something had assaulted his unprotected mind, made him see and feel things that weren't really there. Ishani had sprayed something sweet-smelling on him, and then he opened his eyes and saw the murky shape of Kal hovering over him. "Chit," he muttered. Then, glancing down at the two kids, he flinched. "I mean, uh... poop?"

The little boy giggled, his freckled face smeared with chocolate ice cream.

"Are these your babies?" Starlin asked, gesturing. "They look a lot older than I expected."

"Well, they're two and a half now, and getting bigger every day." She stroked their hair. "This is Eloise, and this is Marcus."

Eloise didn't bother to look at Starlin, too busy devouring her vanilla cone. Marcus gave a little wave with sticky brown fingers. The kid hadn't eaten his ice cream so much as he had decided to wear it on his face, hands, and the front of his swimsuit.

“Nice,” Starlin said. “Do you guys live around here, or are you just visiting?”

“We’re vacationing.” Ishani retrieved a napkin and wiped the chocolate off of Marcus’ hands. “Although I don’t know how much more of this sun these two can take. They hate wearing sunscreen, and redheads burn so easily…”

“I don’t wanna leave,” Eloise protested.

“Well, we’ve got to go back to the hotel eventually,” Ishani said. Standing up, she started to gather up their things.

“Have you all had dinner yet?” Starlin asked.

“No, it’s too early for that.” With a wave of her hand, Ishani gestured for the children to follow her. Marcus marched along like a little soldier, while Eloise remained stubbornly in place. Starlin stood there for a few moments, then started walking behind them, occasionally looking over his shoulder to watch Eloise. Eventually the little girl came scurrying after her mother, not wanting to be left behind.

Starlin removed the wet towel from his shoulders and held it out to Ishani, but she shook her head. “You can keep it.”

“What about later?” Starlin asked.

Ishani blinked. “What, you mean dinner?”

“Yeah. Do you have plans?” When she shook her head, he gave her a lopsided smile, rubbing the towel against his wet hair. “Why not have dinner with me?”

“I can’t leave the kids alone at the hotel. I’ve been trying to avoid leaving them with nanny droids—”

“They can come too. My treat.” He shrugged. “I’ve got nothing but time, and a luxury yacht a friend loaned me for the day.”

“A yacht?!” Marcus yelled excitedly.

“Yeah, I got a yacht!”

Ishani couldn’t help but crack a smile at their antics. “What would we do, eat on your ship?”

“I guess. I haven’t tried the food processors yet, so I don’t know how good it would taste… or we could order something.”

“I want pizza,” Marcus announced.

“I don’t want pizza,” Eloise complained.

“You can each get whatever you want,” Starlin said. Nodding to Ishani, he added, “If your Mom says it’s okay.”

Immediately the two children raised their voices to beg their mother to say yes. Ishani narrowed her eyes at Starlin. That ghost of a smile appeared at the corners of her mouth again. “Okay,” she said. “We’ll have dinner with you.”

 

[Starlin Rand]

Evening soon began to descend upon Erakhis. In the master bedroom of the Yomins’ house, the shades were drawn across the windows, leaving the chamber in darkness. Dressed in a black gown for the funeral, Inanna sat on the edge of the bed, her hands wringing a damp tissue in her lap.

Once the genocide had begun, she hadn’t been able to bring herself to leave the house. As the death toll mounted, her world shrank down to the narrow confines of the bedroom, and then to the span of the bed. She lay there all day and all night, so stricken by grief and pain and suffering that she couldn’t even stand. She lay there until she began to feel numb to everything, a woman-shaped blob of colorless flesh tangled up in the sheets. Entombed and mummifying, a memorial to all the dead.

Her mother had tried to coax her outside, but couldn’t reach her. The children had spoken to her through a crack in the door, their frightened voices piercing her heart. Yet she still wasn’t strong enough to get up and reassure them. Now, with her father's remains having been brought into her home, she had to get up to at least attend the funeral...

In the ‘fresher, she heard the shower switch off. A few minutes later, the door opened. Hal paused on the threshold, one hand clasping a towel around his waist, then he crossed over into the bedroom, turning on a lamp to light his way.

Inanna used to think it was odd that Hal showered at the end of the day rather than in the morning. He told her he slept better if he went to bed clean. In this case, he was showering a bit early so he would be presentable for the ceremony. She watched him now out of the corner of her eye as he made his way over to the closet, picking out his funeral suit.

“Anything happen today?” she asked.

Hal turned toward her, raising his head. Water dripped from his blue-black hair, trickling over the bare skin of his shoulders and chest. “Not really,” he replied. “The professor’s been with your mother. The kids said they had a good day…”

“They told me that too.” Ophelia and Galahad had each come in to see her after they got home from school. “They said they were extra good, because they wanted me to feel better.”

Hal snorted affectionately. Inanna smiled for a moment, then swallowed hard.

“I can't stay like this forever,” she said. “I'll... go help the kids get ready.”

She rose to her feet, dabbing her nose with the tissue. Hal laid his suit on the bed where she had been.

“I just wish it would stop,” she murmured, pausing beside him. “If it would stop, I could overcome it. But it won’t stop…”

“It will,” Hal insisted. “It has to stop.”

“When they run out of people to kill.”

He rested his hand on hers. His fingers were slightly wrinkled from the water. “They can’t kill everyone. I’ve been watching the news. They estimate that about nine hundred million Shi’ido escaped the genocide. And those are just the early numbers.”

“Not even a billion,” she whispered.

“Just the early numbers,” he repeated. Giving her hand a gentle squeeze, he leaned forward to kiss her cheek.

The smell of him straight out of the shower hit her. Absent the medicinal sting of the ointment he used to stifle his species’ trademark pheromones, he was as heady as wine. She reached up and pulled him closer, her lips parting against his as if she could drink him in.

He pulled back a little. “No hanky-panky before the funeral,” he said, his voice husky. Releasing her gently, he started to get dressed.

She leaned against the door frame, aching, then forced herself to walk down the hallway toward the children's rooms. Along the way, she passed the guest quarters. The door was slightly ajar.

 

[Starlin Rand]

The guest bedroom was as fine as any luxury hotel suite, with half the chamber walls made of thick transparisteel that showed the blue underwater world beyond the house. Nimdok knelt on the floor at Lilith's feet.

After telling the tale of Tammuz’s death to his widow, he had fallen into silence and then sank to his knees. There he had lain for some time, unable to speak or look at her. Though Jaina had made the decision and pulled the trigger, Nimdok held himself to blame.

“If I…” he began, finally finding his voice again, though it was hoarse and muffled. “If I hadn’t been injured—if I hadn’t convinced him to help me free the slaves—if I were stronger and faster and better—”

He felt Lilith's hand touch his head, very gently, and he dared to raise his eyes. Her face was calm, though her eyes were dark from weeping. As he lifted his chin, she cupped his face in her hands, her thumbs catching his tears.

“It wasn’t your fault,” she said. “Jaina took the shot. She should be blamed.”

Jaina. His own bodyguard. The very same biot who was currently sitting inside his ship. He had been mulling over it for the entire trip, but now he was approaching certainty. Jaina would have to go. “The soonest chance I get, I’ll release her from my service,” he said. “After that, I don’t care what she does with herself, as long as she is gone.”

Lilith continued to stroke his cheek, wiping away his tears before they could fall. Nimdok closed his eyes and accepted her ministrations, though it made him feel like a child again. He used to call her amya, mother, when he was a boy. In a way, she was the only mother he - Arimanes Bosch - had ever known.

“She made a mistake,” Lilith said. “Perhaps… she could be reprogrammed?”

Nimdok sighed. “It’s possible…” He swallowed, shaking his head. “I can barely stand to look at her anymore.”

“Then don’t.” Lilith took his hand. “Send her away, as you plan to.”

“I'm surprised you don't want her scrapped, after what she did,” Nimdok muttered. Jaina was valuable illegal technology at the very least. He couldn’t afford the risk of the wrong types of people getting a hold of her. One more terrible thing on his conscience…

"She has served you well otherwise, hasn't she? Besides, you did say that she is a copy of Bithia. If Bithia is a woman, despite her new form, what does that make Jaina?"

Nimdok hesitated. "She does have some of Bithia's memories, but if you're suggesting that she's human..."

"Perhaps what she did was the result of human error rather than her programming."

Considering it for a moment, Nimdok shook his head. "It doesn't change anything."

"I'm not suggesting that you keep her around, only that you treat her as a human being who made a mistake, rather than a droid suffering from a malfunction."

Just then, Nimdok felt a presence. He turned toward the door and saw Inanna standing there, wide-eyed.

"Jaina... Jaina is the one who killed Dad?" she whispered.

Nimdok rose to his feet. "Inanna..." he began, but found himself at a loss for words.

"She killed him," she repeated. "Is she in the house now?"

"No," Nimdok answered quickly. "I left her in my ship."

Inanna reached down to lift her dress, then turned and fled down the stairs. Nimdok ran after her, sensing the Dark Side radiating from her heart, catching up just before she reached the hangar. He grabbed her arm. She whirled around, her face contorted in rage and anguish as she snarled, "Let go of me! I'll kill her! I want her dead!"

He wrapped his arms around Inanna, holding her tightly. She crumbled in his grasp with a wail, sobbing uncontrollably.

 

[Starlin Rand]

Starlin couldn't help but feel slightly surprised when Ishani and the kids actually showed up. He'd been afraid she would change her mind at the last minute, preferring to stay home. The moment he sensed their presences approaching, he left his cabin and stood on the deck, waiting and waving to them.

Afterwards, he couldn't quite remember what they said to each other, or if they even managed to get more than a couple words out. All he saw in his mind's eye was her smile and nod, before the joy of the children at being allowed to eat whatever they wanted for dinner overtook all further comments. The four of them filed into the cabin and sat at the table Starlin had prepared for the occasion. The food arrived shortly thereafter, and talk was regulated to whatever simple conversation they could manage between bites.

Eloise and Marcus were more talkative than their mother, thanking Starlin for the meal. He prompted them with a few questions, and soon he had them chattering away happily about life on Coruscant, where they lived in a fancy apartment and were cared for by a nanny droid while their mother was at work. Though she tried to hide it, Starlin caught the guilty, uncomfortable look on Ishani's face, so he shifted the subject to their homeworld of Chaldea.

"Then we stay at Grandma and Grandpa's house," Eloise explained. "And sometimes Uncle Ganner lives there too."

"You don't have a house of your own there?" Starlin asked, cutting into his steak.

"We have a cottage," Marcus said, munching on fries. "It's big."

"I thought cottages were supposed to be little houses."

"Our cottage is too big. Mommy says it makes her feel lonely."

Starlin's gaze shifted automatically to Ishani, before he quickly lowered his eyes with a wince. He heard the clink of her fork against her plate as she let go of it abruptly. She ate no more for the rest of the night. Starlin noticed—it was hard not to, since she still had more than half a meal left unfinished—but he didn't say anything to her about it.

 

[Starlin Rand]

At some point the children fell asleep on the couches, lulled by the gentle rocking of the boat. Ishani stood nearby, watching over them, while Starlin put the leftovers away and cleaned the dishes.

Hearing the muffled clatter of plates and utensils, Ishani turned toward him. "Oh—want me to help you clean up?"

"It's okay," Starlin replied. But Ishani went over anyway, gathering up the remaining dishes and placing them in the dishwasher.

They worked silently, endeavoring not to make too much noise and risk waking the twins. When they finished, Ishani glanced toward her children and whispered, "We should probably get going. But I don't want to wake them. They look so sweet like this, and it's such a pain to get them to go to bed as-is, why spoil a good thing?"

"Hey, I don't mind. Stay as long as you like. You could even spend the night." Only after the words left his mouth did Starlin realize how they sounded. "I mean—literally. You could sleep on the yacht. I could go back to the house, if it would make you feel more comfortable..."

She smirked a little at the innuendo, but it was fleeting. "The house?"

"Yeah, I'm staying with a friend of a friend. They live in a mansion of sorts. It's half underwater and half above-water. Kind of neat."

"So are you just here to visit?"

"Oh, uh... well, I'm actually here for a funeral."

Her eyebrows rose in sympathy. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He scratched his head. "I only met the deceased once. He was the father of this friend of a friend that I'm staying with. Seemed like a nice guy. But the atmosphere in the house, you know, it's very dour and depressing."

She nodded. "I know what it's like to lose somebody you're close to."

For a moment her lip quivered, and Starlin thought she might start to cry. "Hey, it's a nice night," he said, changing the subject. "Why don't we go outside and talk, let the kids sleep in here?"

"Okay," she said softly, walking out the door. He trailed behind her.

 

[Starlin Rand]

Jaina remained aboard the Surrey, dutifully keeping watch over her employer's property. Internally, however, she was in a state of flux.

Though she was a synthetically-created biot, she was capable of a full range of emotions. Right now she was feeling quite a bit. Guilt, regret, anger, sadness. She was deeply sorry for killing Tammuz. But it had been an accident. Couldn't Nimdok and the others understand that?

No, she suspected. Even if they did, she knew Nimdok wouldn't want to keep her around. Her psychology programming told her as much when she analyzed him. He had been avoiding her lately, no doubt mulling over what to do with her.

She had considered speaking to him frankly about the situation, even asking him to simply free her from his service and let her go her own way. But she didn't know where else she could go. She supposed she could return to her "sister" Bithia, Nimdok's ex-wife. Last she'd heard, Bithia was managing a successful detective agency. But part of her resented the idea. It felt like begging for table scraps.

There was also the possibility of seeking out other biots—such as Westenra Mina, from whom her peculiar model was derived and modified. Jaina was reluctant to do this as well, if only because she didn't know Westenra or her sisters all that well. Bithia had met them only once, and that quite briefly. Not long enough to build a sense of trust.

In the end, she began to consider becoming a loner. She was quite capable, with an extensive skill set. No doubt she would be able to find work, accommodations, friends. There had to be a place out there somewhere in the galaxy where she could belong.

With that, Jaina began to prepare her resignation request, working out the speech she would give to Nimdok in her head...

 

[Starlin Rand]

Starlin and Ishani sat down on the cushioned bench along one side of the yacht. It was a beautiful, starry night. A gentle breeze blew, carrying with it the salty sea air. The change in setting seemed to stabilize Ishani's mood, but she was more pacified than content.

It didn't last long, either. "Starlin, are you absolutely sure you don't have any idea where Arcturus might be?" she asked.

The look in her eyes as she gazed at him was heartbreaking. Why she thought he might know something, Starlin hadn't a clue, but he felt so bad for her it nearly made him sick. "I'm sorry," he replied gently. "I really am. But I wasn't really that close to Arc, or at least not close enough that he would've told me things he wouldn't tell you."

Her face fell. "I just... I know it's been almost four years now. Everyone thinks I should've moved on by now."

"Nobody is trying to rush you or make you feel bad for feeling this way, Ish. You take things at your own pace."

She shook her head. "I want to move on. I want so badly for this to end. I'm sick of living in limbo. I want..." She covered her face with her hand, stifling a sob. "Sometimes I wish I was dead."

"Oh no," Starlin murmured. "Hey, hey. Please don't talk like that. You have so much to live for. Think about your babies, and your work, and all the people who love you—"

"I can't." She stood up. "I just can't do it anymore..."

She wandered away to the table in the center of the boat, where Starlin had laid out a bottle of wine and two glasses. She poured herself a drink and downed it in seconds, wiping frantically at her eyes all the while. Starlin rose and stood beside her right as she was pouring her second glass.

"Hey, save some for me," he said, trying to lighten the mood. His hand closed around the bottle, taking it from her as he filled his glass and drank.

After the second glass of wine, Ishani seemed calmer. She clutched it between her hands, breathing steadily and sniffling every now and then. Looking at Starlin with glassy eyes, she asked, "Do you think I'm... a silly person?"

"No more silly than I am," he replied. "Plenty of people are too serious. If anything, they need to loosen up a little."

"And..." She started to speak, but hesitated, looking down at the ground. When next she spoke, her voice was very, very quiet. "Do I still look okay? I mean—even after having twins?"

"You look better than ever," he said, and meant it. When he first met Ishani, she had been very much a girl. Now she was unmistakeably a woman, even with her youthful face. "Did you think you were ugly or fat or something? Because you're not. Ishani, you're smokin'."

She cracked a smile at that, then tried to hide it. Starlin continued, "I'm serious. Whatever they say about women after they become mothers is a bunch of crap anyway, because you look fantastic. If Arcturus was here—" Oh, no. Damn. Well, might as well finish the thought. "—If Arcturus was here, he'd be all over you. It's one of many reasons why I'll never believe he left on purpose. Something had to have happened to him to tear him away from your side, because I know if I were him, I'd never want to leave."

"Starlin, you barely know me," she protested. But her cheeks were flushed and there was a ghost of a smile at the corners of her mouth. Or maybe that was just from the wine.

"Well, you seem like the kind of woman I wish I knew better." His tone grew serious. "I meant what I said after Jakku, you know. If you need help with anything, you can call on me. I want to help you. Not just because you were Arc's girlfriend, and not just because your kids are his. I want to help you, Ishani."

For a few moments she looked at him with longing. But then she turned away with a grimace. "I've been acting like an idiot all evening, fishing for sympathy from you. Force, I am just... I'm a mess. I'm sorry. I should go—"

"It's okay. Really, it's fine. It's probably just the wine."

"It isn't the wine." She sighed. "This has happened before. Every time I'm separated from Arcturus, I get... tangled up with other men."

He was quick to reassure her. "This isn't any entanglement. I'm sorry if you thought I was flirting, I was just trying to make you feel better about yourself." He paused, squinting at her. "What do you mean by 'this has happened before'?"

"The first time was when Arcturus was hiding out with you on Coruscant. We weren't officially a couple, and I was in a weird place, but nothing happened beyond a kiss. I put a stop to it before it went any further. Then the second time was after Arc disappeared and I went back to Chaldea to live with my parents. I met a guy who was very sweet and supportive. But I figured out that I was just a charity case to him, someone he felt sorry for." She looked up at the sky as though tipping her head back would keep her tears from falling. "Afterwards, I always felt pathetic and weak. But I'm so afraid of being alone..."

"That's not pathetic or weak," he insisted. "I'm the same way. In fact, I think most people are. Nobody wants to be alone. If Arcturus never comes back—"

Her expression crumpled at his words, which made him stop in his tracks. "Ishani, I only meant—It is a possibility, you know?"

She reached for the bottle, but knocked it down by accident. It rolled off the little table and shattered, spilling wine across the deck. She stooped to pick up the broken glass, then gasped as she cut her finger. Starlin could tell by the way her features were constricting that she was on the verge of tears again. Taking her wounded hand by the wrist, he gently led her back to the bench and sat her down, where he examined the cut.

 

[Starlin Rand]

"It's not that bad, but I'll bet it stings," he said. "Don't worry about the mess."

With a wave of his hand, he collected the pieces of broken glass and molecules of wine and dumped them into the trash with telekinesis. Ishani watched him do it, swallowing her tears. Pain had sobered her, and she fell silent.

"I'm going to heal it with the Force," Starlin told her. "All right?"

She blinked. "You know how to do that?"

"Sure I do." He raised her hand and blew on the cut. Something pink and misty left his lips, and the wound knit itself closed. He wiped away the blood, then glanced up at Ishani. "Would you like to learn how to do it?"

"I'm not supposed to," she said, chewing her lip. "But nobody is around to see it. Go ahead."

 

[Starlin Rand]

"It's like this," Starlin said. "You either manipulate the energy already there, or..."

"Put more energy into it?" Ishani finished.

"Yeah." He side-eyed her. "Have you ever done this before?"

"I dabbled," she answered, cupping her hands as she began to concentrate. "It was always me transferring my life force to others in order to save them. Almost got myself killed a few times."

"Huh. I didn't take you for the self-sacrificial type."

"That's it! You've got the hang of it. I knew you could do it."

He looked at her in the glow of the pale light emanating from her palms, and found his words knotted together in his throat. She caught his gaze and smiled, then went back to focusing on her newly discovered power to heal.

"I hope this helps you," Starlin said softly, lowering his gaze. "It's definitely helped me get out of a few scrapes."

"Thank you, Starlin," she whispered, and he felt as if a vice had clamped down around his heart. Why did he always fall in love with unattainable, unavailable women?

"Sure. No problem."

***
​

Starlin returned to the Yomins' house to find it deserted. Only Nimdok remained, looking tired and forlorn. Upon spotting Starlin, he stood up, his expression stormy.

"Where the hell have you been?"

Keeping his cool, Starlin jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "I went out. Mr. Yomin let me borrow his yacht, told me to go out and explore. I would've come back earlier, but I got caught up with, y'know... there was this beautiful girl..."

"There was a fight while you were gone," Nimdok said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Inanna found out Jaina was responsible for her father's death. She didn't take the news well. Hal was able to calm her enough, and they went to the funeral... but Inanna ordered me to stay behind. So I did."

"Oh," Starlin murmured. "I'm real sorry she did that to you, professor."

"I deserved it." Nimdok sank back into his seat. "I take partial responsibility for Tammuz's death. Jaina may have pulled the trigger, but I'm the one who brought her along."

"It wasn't your fault at all," Starlin insisted. "Tammuz wouldn't want you to think that. He loved you. He was your master, for feth's sake. Of course you're going to feel guilty, but you shouldn't."

Nimdok's brow furrowed. “You met Tammuz?”

“Yeah. Right before the battle. We talked a little… Here.” He took Nimdok’s fingers and pressed them to his head. “You can see for yourself.”

Cautiously, Nimdok took the invitation and dipped into Starlin’s mind, sifting through his memories. Together the two relived the memory of Starlin’s brief encounter with Tammuz Hoole.

When it was over, Nimdok’s face wore an unreadable expression. Starlin gently touched his mentor’s hand, but didn’t say anything.

Then Nimdok smiled. It was faint, and his eyes were glassy with tears, but it was the most genuine sign of joy Starlin had seen from him in days. “He said you should be knighted. Well, let’s knight you.”

Starlin blinked as Nimdok pulled out his lightsaber and ignited the viridian blade. “R-Right now?”

“When else?” Nimdok gestured. “Kneel, Padawan.”

Starlin obeyed, dropping to one knee. Even as Nimdok’s burning blade hovered over him, nearing either of his shoulders without touching them, he couldn’t believe what was happening.

“By the right of the Council, by the will of the Force, Starlin Rand, I dub thee Jedi Knight of the Silver Order.”

With a flick of his wrist, Nimdok sheared off Starlin’s Padawan braid. The plait fell to the floor, and as the stench of burnt hair hit Starlin’s nostrils, it finally hit home.

At last, he was a Jedi Knight.