An odd request...

[Edric Vanyan]

So ive been working on a book collectively for the last year or so and im going through an editing phase on the first hundred pages. Finished the prologue portion of the book and now i want to see if anyone is interested in seeing it. Its not exactly (At all) Star wars related though and its more of a fantasy project but im curious to see what you guys think of it.

Heres the link to the Drive page. ---> https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WS_uk6TP2jyEwWqgwLC7bznM5Ax2qoUR4xm-z2Hs1Fo/edit?usp=sharing

 

[Deleted]

I've had a read, and first thoughts is I like the world you're creating and the attention to historical detail you are using.

Little descriptive words and phrases make the world around you more real, and it's an interesting era to use.

Nice final battle too.

Keep up the good work, I look forward to seeing more with the development of characters and more painted environments to visit.

 

[Nasika Serizawa]

I agree with Chris. Very nice and very interesting. Could use a bit more description to help paint a better picture but the battle sequence was neat. All in all a very good job.

 

[Edric Vanyan]

Thank you both for the words, and also ive debated adding more detail or letting it just flow in throughout the rest of the book, doing heavy editing of the first chapter as this was just the prologue

 

[Darth Narakada]

Haven't actually read it yet. Just glancing at it I saw one thing that's a pet peeve of mine: Watch how many times you start a paragraph with the word "I"

Looking at any first person POV book, they tend to not have that as often as possible. Example:

Instead of, "I stood, my muscles aching from having slept on the dusty, hard earth for the night."

Use, "Standing, my muscles ache from having slept on the dusty, hard earth for the night."

Or something along those lines. If you really want some extra, in depth help. I have a friend who is writing a book herself. She's pretty busy, but when you can get her, she's a genius.

Edit: I don't mean do that every time. Just add some more space is what I'm thinking.

@[member="Arthur David Hardrada"]

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

Hmm, thanks for pointing that out, completely missed the fact that i do that so often.

 

[Nikolas Faselli]

@[member="Arthur David Hardrada"]

I haven't read it yet, but one thing: at first, there doesn't have to be much detail. Just write. Then, when you've finished the story, come back and review your whole text (preferably after some time... like a few months...). Then fix mistakes, change wording, try to read the text out loud, add more detail, if needed. That's the best way to write stories, books, stuff...

I wrote my NaNoWriMo that way.

 

[Darth Narakada]

No prob. It's always good to have HUGE word variety. I also agree with @[member=Darth Malificete], take your time. Perfection isn't instant. Unless you're me. :3

@[member="Alexandra Shadowstalker"]