An Unexpected Cut

[Kuzo]

"Look, I just need you to stick it in there and wiggle it around, okay?"

"Like this?"

"Perfect."

[member="Samson"] stood on a step stool. Despite his impressive height, even he needed a hand in reaching the spot on the wall that Irajah wanted the painting hung.

There was a dull 'thock' and Samson looked down at her quizzically.

"That's the wall stud, yes. You can put the nail in there and then I'll pass you the painting."

She'd finished it the day before, and was pleased with the view of the mountain and the wild spaces in its lee. It wasn't the only one of the paintings she had done of the grounds and landscape around Blackwater Reach, but it was the first time that Samson was helping her hang one.

Maybe the large man would never need to know how to find a wall stud. She didn't know.

Just as she was raising the painting up to him, Terin appeared at the door of the parlor.

"A Mister Crawford, here on your invitation, has arrived M'Lady. I've showed him to the library, and a tray will be brought in shortly- unless you wish to receive him in here?"

As Samson plucked the framed canvas gently, she smiled at Terin and shook her head.

"No, the library is best, thank you. I'll be there momentarily."

Looking back up at Samson, she smiled.

"Thank you Samson."

****

Though the parlor was at least no longer entirely enshrouded in sheets and dust, it was still the library that Irajah preferred to take guests in. [member="Jacob Crawford"] was not the first she had invited to Blackwater with a particular purpose. But he was the last. The last one who didn't know that mattered that he did know.

She had been taken by surprise by his transformation, after Maena. And after their last encounter, it was clear that, in his own way, he did care. It was enough that telling him in advance was well worth it.

Irajah arrived just after the beverage cart (as usual, her staff were more efficient than she was).

"I see you found the place alright," she said, pausing in the doorway with a bit of a smirking smile.

 

[Jacob Crawford]

It had surprised Jacob when he received the invite from [member="Irajah Ven"]. Sure, after Coruscant a line of communication had been established between the two. Jacob made sure to call her, check on how she was doing. And Irajah did the same, albeit both were very out of the blue most of the time. Ultimately though, Jacob came to realize he had been missing it, and was glad that their quiet distance after Maena had been disrupted by the happenstance of running into one another in Coruscant's Undercity. Which was an odd reflection given what happened that day.

Either way, he certainly hadn't expected for her to invite him somewhere. That, and the information provided; the planet and coordinates, confused him initially. Though that became clearer as he made his way to Dosuun, and towards where this 'Blackwater Reach' was. He did do some research into it during the journey, much to both his surprise and amusement at what he had discovered.

Once he had arrived, he had been greeted at the door almost instantaneously by Terin. Jacob had given the Seneschal his thanks, and followed the man as he led him to the estate's library. During the brief wait, Jacob had a small wander around looking at the various books that were around. And just in general taking in the warm atmosphere of the room. He could see why Irajah liked this place, and why she 'received guests here' as Terin had said.

When he heard the door open, Jacob's eyes darted over only to see one of the staff bringing in the cart. A tinge of disappointment started to settle until he heard her voice, and a smile formed before he even turned to face her. However, that very nearly faltered when he saw her, instantly taking in what he was seeing. Paler skin, darkened circles under her eyes and the just in general gaunter shape. But he didn't let it show, or faze him.

"Mhm, just about." He grinned in response. "It's quite out of the way on Dosuun, and it's certainly a sight to behold." Jacob paused, a mischievous look in his eye; an odd sight given his usual cold exterior, and gave a little half bow.

"Baroness Ven." There was no mistaking the amusement in his tone.

 

[Kuzo]

"Uuuuuugh not you too!"

​Raj wilted dramatically against the door frame. Clearly entirely over the top. The only thing that would have made it more obvious would have been if she had stuck her tongue out at him, but she managed to refrain.

Instead she laughed and shook a finger at him.

"I have all the bowing I can handle from Terin and Samson. Call me that again and you'll become a permanent fixture in my lab."

Her smile was warm as she closed the distance.

"It's good to see you Jacob, I'm glad you came. Can I get you something to drink?"

This one would, she hoped, be the easiest of these visits. Straight forward and without the fraught emotional landscape that came with the others. In a way, Jacob had been through his own version of this. Rather than a fear of how he would react, how he would respond, she was simply glad to see him. For this friendship, at the very least, she didn't fear how it would change.

In their own way, the two of them had already over come that hurdle, after all.

[member="Jacob Crawford"]

 

[Jacob Crawford]

Jacob grinned, letting out a small laugh as he watched her. "I was just simply shocked when I did a little bit of research into this place on the way. This was actually built for you? I have to say Irajah, you never fail to surprise."

The name's she gave settled in his mind, both he was mildly familiar with at least in terms of them being mentioned. Terin obviously because he was the one who had greeted him in. And Samson's name had cropped up a couple times during their intermittent holo-calls, though as far as Jacob was aware he was just another part of her staff, or was he one of her assistants specifically? He couldn't quite recall.

"It does remind me though, I'm actually having something built myself, on Maena." He smirked slightly, a twinkle in his eye but he didn't elaborate. "You're welcome to visit once the construction is finished." Jacob turned to look at the refereshment cart, missing whatever expression may have crossed [member="Irajah Ven"]'s face in the wake of his invitation.

"You too Irajah, especially given this time it doesn't involve being chased by beasts or cornered by a group of mercs." Jacob chuckled at that, it did truly seem to be a habit that followed them. "Hmm, I think I'll have some caf actually. I'm sure you have that in supply." He chuckled, knowing well enough that you could trust Irajah to always have a stock of caf at the ready.

 

[Kuzo]

"It wasn't what I asked for," she said drily, refering to the Manor. "But apparently it's very important that when you mean 'small', you make certain the architect doesn't think you mean 'in comparison to other homes for those of similar stature.'" She made a face. "I don't even use ninety percent of the space. It's ridiculous, Jacob, it really is."

There was an easy between them that had been absent since she'd watched after him on Dosuun. Somehow, the pair had navigated themselves back to a similar place. A lot had changed, for both of them, and it hadn't come without effort on both of their parts. But here they were, pouring caf and bantering again, and honestly, Raj didn't think she'd have it any other way.

Which did make what she had to tell him a little difficult.

She'd get to it soon.

Handing him a cup and saucer and indicating the sugar and cream, she stirred a generous spoonful of the former into her own cup.

"Oh? I'll look forward to it then. Matsu has offered me something more than the small apartment I keep there, but it's perfectly suitable for my needs. And with Blackwater, well, one only needs too much too much space, after all," she said with a smirk.

The last time they had sat like this had been in that even smaller apartment in Avalonia. Late nights, bent over the tiny kitchen table, trying to work out the problem of Jacob and his dependency. With Azi and Bantam and Connor entering and exiting the space like wraiths. It had been.... almost pleasant then. For a week or so, her apartment had been full and buzzing with people, just the way she liked the space around her to be. Things hadn't been easy then, but they were before the times had darken, and she could remember it with untainted fondness.

"Besides your plans on Maena..... what have you been up to?"

She wasn't stalling. Not exactly. But she knew how difficult it would be to ask these more mundane things *after* she told him.

[member="Jacob Crawford"]

 

[Jacob Crawford]

Jacob let out a chuckle at the tone in Irajah's voice as she spoke about Blackwater. And he couldn't help but agree, even from what little he saw of it as Terin escorted him to the library, the place just had a huge presence to it. He could imagine getting lost in its halls, and the amusing thought occured to him that Irajah may have ended up so early on.

"I can only imagine someone would get lost in here when they first arrived." There was a humorous glint in his eye, indicating who that 'someone' he was referring to.

Taking the cup from Irajah, he gave her a polite 'thank you' before he poured a suitable amount of cream into his cup. He gave a curious look as he stirred the cream, listening as Irajah mentioned Matsu offering better accomodations. Jacob's thoughts turned to when he had initially started his plans, sitting in his apartment just trying to think what he could build. Eventually his inspiration came from what already stood on Maena, namely The Unit and The Tower. It being the latter that would be his general plan in the end. From there, it had been drawing up the rough schematics, then attending to the architects that would see to the actual construction. There had been a lot of back and forth, but Jacob deferred to their expertise, given they were the same ones that had built a number of the constructs on the planet already.

"It certainly seems like she wants to have plenty of people living on Maena." He joked, a thoughtful look crossing his expression. "I will say Matsu has been particularly generous with allowing me to construct something so soon after starting to learn from her."

As he took a seat and a sip of his caf, his mind went to a similiar place as Irajah's had. Remembering back to the one time he fondly remember during his time as a pathetic shell. Back then he felt nothing of it really, but looking back on it now he realized he had come to enjoy being there, to just have company after being isolated for so long. Having others there to help with his problem, even if it seemed nigh impossible to find a solution at times. The general warmth those were something Jacob cherished, and had missed until the time when he had finally reconnected with Irajah.

"Not much in comparison to before Coruscant. I tried tracking down the lead I discovered then, but it ended up being a mostly dead end. Other than that, well I found my old Master, Allyia Zarn. I fought her with Matsu...but she managed to escape." A dark look crossed Jacob's face at the mention of that. "Though I did manage to get ahold of my old lightsaber finally."

Jacob took another sip of his drink, his eyes now fixed on Irajah.

"How about you?"

[member="Irajah Ven"]

 

[Kuzo]

"I never got lost in my own manor, thank you very much," she answered primly, understanding his implication.

"The grounds on the other hand......" She waggled her hand back and forth, chuckling at herself without hesitation.

She settled down on the high backed chair opposite him, her own cup held lightly in both hands. She listened with interest, nodding and blowing softly on the steaming hot caf. He was making progress, even if it wasn't perhaps at the speed he wanted to. That pleased her, for him.

But when he turned the question around, she breathed in deeply through her nose, leaning back against the chair. Taking a tentative sip from the delicate porcelain cup, she watched him for a moment, searching his face for something that wasn't immediately apparent.

Whatever it was, she must have found it, because she sighed and nodded, mostly to herself.

"I'm closing down my labs on Maena," she said quietly. "If there is a cure for Gideon, well, I won't be finding it. Not any time soon." She paused, mulling over her words for a heartbeat.

"Learning to use the Force, well, to be blunt, it allowed the virus a foot hold. I knew it would happen, but it was.... Jacob it was worth doing. To take some sort of power back from all of this. But it means that I have less time than I had hoped."

Her words were calm, matter of fact. But not full of the existential nihilism of someone who had given up. Merely of someone who had finally let go of something useless weighing them down.

"So. Plan B. Friends of mine offered me another option. I was loath to take it at first. I felt," she paused, frowning slightly. "I thought that by taking that route, I was letting the Zambranos win. Which I understand now is ridiculous, and the exact opposite of that. Are you familiar with something called Essence Transfer?"

She wasn't trying to make this difficult. She simply wanted to know how much she had to explain.

[member="Jacob Crawford"].

 

[Jacob Crawford]

Jacob had been in the middle of a sip when Irajah had answered. He let out a small cough, giving Irajah an amused look over the cup's rim. He chuckled, placing the cup back on the saucer revealing the grin on his face.

After he had finished speaking, silence followed as the two got settled facing one another. Jacob took another sip of his drink, his eyes following Irajah's as they stared at him. For a moment he wondered if she was probing him with the Force, searching. If she had been he'd willingly allow it, but it was clear she was just generally looking for something. That's when the mood suddenly shifted from how lighthearted it was minutes ago.

Jacob had seen it though, since he had first laid eyes on Irajah when she had greeted him. Seeing her state of being; her health, it gave Jacob that sinking feeling that something was wrong. And that hadn't gone away at all during the initial conversation, just simply remained buried, not wanting it to be a true fact. But now he could feel the tension, as though there was a bucket of cold water hanging over his head, just waiting to be tipped.

Even before Irajah spoke of the Gideon and the cure, Jacob felt the cold water hitting him.

He didn't say anything initially, his attention enraptured on the woman sitting before him. Externally he was as stoic as ever, though there was a brief flicker of emotion in his eyes, the only real indication of what was going on internally.

Sadness.

Irajah was dying. She didn't say it directly, but that was what was being said.

Of course he had known it was a very real possibility, ever since she had told him about Gideon on Coruscant. Hell, it was for the most part the reason why he had holo-called her during the time between then and now. The thought of her dying was something Jacob despised, and if he was honest he enjoyed just speaking with her, to know and see she was still alive. There was also an inkling of something else there, but he couldn't quite place it amongst the turmoil thoughts that were in his mind right now.

"I noticed," he began looking at Irajah. "About the Force I mean, back when I first met you, you were practically an open book. Even I could see; as broken of a shell I was, what emotions were going through you. But now you've grown, gotten stronger in the Force despite your situation. And yes, it is double-edged sword, you took the risk of furthering Gideon's hold to get at least something back from what was done to you. I am proud of you Irajah, for taking that step." He smiled at her after that, though it was clipped and held a slight sadness to it.

Jacob took a sip of his caf, more out of trying to keep himself outwardly stoic rather than any actual need to drink it. He frowned slightly at the mention of her Plan B, the term she threw at him was mainly a mystery to him.

"That's good to hear, that you eventually realized how ridiculous that notion was Irajah. This is your life on the line, nothing as petty as that should get in your way." Jacob bit his lip, realizing how particularly blunt he was being at that moment. "Sorry, I'm sure that's something you're aware of at this point. But, it the latter still stands. Even with whatever it is you did to try and find a cure, you should never let anything stop you from achieving what you want. Whether it be emotion or morals."

"And no, I've only ever heard the term here and there, I was never able to find anything that went into specifics about Essence Transfer."

[member="Irajah Ven"]

 

[Kuzo]

He was not the first person she had told. He would likely be the last, however, between now and....

It was funny, she mused to herself as he spoke. Others had professed their 'pride' in her, for similar reasons. The funny part was not that they all did it, probably. But that by this point when someone said it, she felt nothing. No anger. But no pleasure either in what was ostensibly meant to be praise. It was ultimately meaningless. She hadn't done it for them, so their pride seemed like such a strange reaction. Not that she didn't understand what it felt like- she had felt that same sensation when other people she cared about had over come adversity, working hard and long to complete a task or goal that was difficult. But somehow, this was different. Maybe that was hypocrisy, really, and she could recognize that. But this wasn't something she was *proud* of. It was simply what must be done.

Because the alternatives simply didn't suit.

He was responding with the calmness that she had expected he would, and that at least, she appreciated. Taking a sip from her cup before settling it carefully back in her lap she regarded him thoughtfully before explaining.

"It's a Force technique- and not an easy one. The core of it is to take my soul, essence.... the part of me that makes me, well, me- and move it into a fresh body. In this case, a cloned body, grown from samples I kept clean of Gideon with the Force." She grimaced. That had been a painful exercise to be sure.

"It can be done into an already existing body, someone else's, but there are obvious challenges and issues with that. Besides," she said, as if it were an afterthought rather than ultimately the primary reason to build a cloned body, "I'm rather fond of my body, and would prefer to not see a stranger in the mirror when all of this is over. The whole thing will be unsettling enough without having to sort that out as well."

She was calm, in her 'doctor' mode while explaining what was to happen.

"A close friend of mine arranged this with one of his allies. She will be doing the transfer. This body," cold, almost clinical, as if this wasn't still *her* body, "Will be consumed in the process. Burning up all traces of Gideon and removing the threat."

"It has its risks. I have been told it will cut me off from the Lightside of the Force. Irrevocably." She didn't sound particularly upset or concerned by that. "I may come out the other side.... different," she continued, a little more carefully choosing her words. There was a long pause, where she was clearly trying to decide how to say something. And then-

"Or come out the other side at all."

Quiet, a little rueful those words, and her face softened a little, looking more like Irajah and less like 'Doctor Ven'.

"That's why I invited you, why I wanted to tell you. Because while this is infinitely better than simply lying down and dying, Jacob, well. I value certain things. Honesty chief amoung them. So telling you, and knowing that, just in case, I said good-bye. Well. It mattered to me."

[member="Jacob Crawford"]

 

[Jacob Crawford]

After he had finished speaking, Jacob had mused quietly as he watched for what emotions and expressions appeared on Irajah's face. It was a habit he had picked up since his return to Maena after his 'ventures on Nal Hutta and Tatooine. To take the time inbetween conversation to study the other person. There had been brief moments of it during the events on Coruscant too, albeit that was few and far between given the fact they were either trying to hide from a group of mercenaries or running from them. Either way, it both did and didn't surprise him at how 'neutral' Irajah's reaction to his words had been. His intention had pretty much been him 'repaying' her in one sense or another, remembering that she had offered the same words to him in past.

To Jacob it highlighted something he hadn't fully caught before now. The way she spoke, it held an easiness to it but also paused for a moment, on certain subjects to still think over what to say next. He saw someone who had spoken those words, or those similiar to it before a number of times. As though it had become routine to speak, and yet held differences depending on the person who was asking.

Noticing Irajah was looking at him thoughtfully; a telltale sign she was about to continue speaking, Jacob 'flickered' back to reality and listened.

He followed along silenty, his brow ocassionally twitching into a frown at certain points. Jacob did smile though at the calm, levelled tone she spoke in. Reminding him of the version of Irajah he had first met.

A raised eyebrow followed her statement about being completely cut from the Lightside. It was something Jacob himself had severed his ties too back when Matsu had helped him heal his mind. But it made him that more curious about what the doctor meant by her coming out 'different'. Was that simply referring to the Darkside of the Force, or was it something else. Other than that, the talk of moving souls led to him thinking about the Netherworld, and the possibility of it being a factor in the Transfer. For a moment Jacob thought of bringing it up, but ultimately decided it was pointless and figured Irajah and her friends likely had thought of it. Any further thoughts were abruptly thrown away at what she said next.

"Or come out the other side at all."

I'll actually be dead, completely and utterly.

Those were the thoughts that immediately followed in Jacob's head. He visibly frowned at that, an upset expression crossing his face before he realized it and quickly shifted it back to a more neutral expression. Despite that though, it was still on his mind and was subsequently reminded of the emotions that had swirled around back on Coruscant. It equally annoyed him now, but steadily a revelation was piecing itself together.

It was when Irajah had finished speaking, that it finally stuck him. He was suppose to be her friend, and as he looked at it and upon himself, he realized he had been a particular poor one at that.

"And I appreciate the fact that you thought of me, to tell me about this. It would've certainly been...upsetting to discover your death one day if this conversation had never happened." Jacob took another sip of his caf, but Irajah's final words lingered in his mind still and it was only half a minute later that he acted.

Placing the cup and saucer on the nearby table, Jacob stood up. He looked over at Irajah and paused in thought, thinking for a moment on what he was about to do. He moved up to Irajah and gently took her drink and similiarly placed it on the table. His face gave away nothing of what was doing, despite whatever reaction Irajah held towards his actions. A second later he leaned down towards her and pulled her into a hug, carefully lifting her up off the chair.

Nothing was said as he hugged her, a conscious effort to be gentle, so that he didn't cause any harm or bruising. It only lasted for a short while, before Jacob just as carefully lowered her back down onto her feet. A sad smile on his face.

"I believe I've been an awful friend to you, Irajah."

[member="Irajah Ven"]

 

[Kuzo]

The look she gave him as he approached wasn't wary, perse. But there was a certain 'whatever in the world are you doing?' in her eyes and clearly on her face- especially when he took the cup from her hands. She resisted for a moment (that was her caf after all, and people had been chewed out for less in regards to that), but let go after just the barest resistance because the alternative seemed to be spilling it.

She knew he was coming in for a hug before he actually did. It wasn't hard to figure out. But it wasn't exactly *real* until he was there, with his arms around her. After only a moment of surprised hesitation, she hugged him back, burying her face in his shoulder. The embrace was brief, but sincere, and an wry smile greeted his own as she settled back down in the chair.

"You've had your own path to walk. Your own challenges to deal with," she said simply.

It was easier to be generous with that here than it had been with a particular someone else. Best not to think about that, not now.

"And honestly?" She frowned slightly, then shook her head, her own sad smile now mirroring his own.

"There wasn't much you could have done," she said truthfully. "This happened.... and would have happened.... no matter what. I understand that now."



[member="Jacob Crawford"]

 

[Jacob Crawford]

Jacob nodded slightly as he returned to his seat, hand reaching over to grab his cup once more.

"True, but looking back on it I feel I started walking that path too quickly. Shackled up in one place made me desire that freedom to just...go places. And even though each had their successes, there were also the hiccups and near failures." He took a sip of his caf as he thought on his travels over the past month or so. None of the planets he had gone too were without their issues. Lost his arm, no lightsaber and then getting ambushed on two seperate occasions. Perhaps he was being too prideful to just assume they would've been a complete success.

"But after Maena..." Jacob paused in that sentence, his mind wandering to the last time they had met on the planet. He remembered that time, despite the conversation been light and the silence heavy. It was a pleasant time, just sitting there with Irajah watching and listening as the oceon ebbed and flowed in front of them.

The beach was something to the both of them. To one it had been a place to go when things got too much. To the other, it was a reminder of a great change.

Both were equally lost souls at that time, to different degrees and extremes. One was still feeling the wake of finding a new path. The other having both their body and trust broken.

"I should've remained in contact after that, like we have done after Coruscant, Because this..." He said waving his free hand at their surroundings. "Is very enjoyable. To be able to meet and talk without worrying about creatures eating us, or mercenaries shooting at us." He chuckled again, it was certainly a breath of fresh air and it was a rather sour note to think that this could potentially be the last time it could ever happen.

"And yeah, but I could've been here, as a supporting friend." Jacob grimaced slightly, disguising it behind his cup realizing he was talking too much of himself. "We all make mistakes, and they linger in the past as a reminder to do better. So no matter what, should the transfer be a success and you continue on, you'll always have a friend and ally in me."

Jacob wanted to say once rather than should, and he both hoped and believed that Irajah would survive this. There was only so much words can do, and nothing more could be done until the plan was acted on.

Although he was in part curious to ask, query about her potential plans she had in mind should this all work in the end. But he figured there wasn't much of a topic there to discuss, not yet anyway.

"To the future." He said his tone hopeful, raising his cup in a toast.

[member="Irajah Ven"]