Private And I Should Play the Fool

[Gerwald Lechner]

Location: KO Headquarters -- Training Facility
Wearing: xxx

​

Months had passed since Gerwald found himself broken by the mountain of a Sith known as Darth Prazutis . Had it not been for the arrival of Srina Talon , Gerwald would likely have perished with the final drop. Healing energy flowed into his body, the only thing which saved him from certain death. His mind had been another matter entirely. It took time and effort for the Exarch to bring Gerwald to a place of mental and emotional health once more, but she had succeeded. His body, mind, and spirit, were no longer crushed, not that the same could be said about his relationships or standing with the Knights Obsidian. ​

​

Gerwald had been told not to chase after Naedira Darcrath 's killer on his own. He had ignored every warning, and in the end, had fallen for the mental manipulation of a more powerful force user. There was one person in particular Gerwald knew he needed to face, but that man was also consumed with his own sense of guilt. It almost radiated off of him anytime Gerwald attempted to draw close to Alkor Centaris . Perhpas it was because the guilt was similar to what Gerwald felt, despite the fact it was stronger than anything the wolf could imagine. Gerwald had no way of knowing the Master Knight had felt responsible for Gerwald's actions as well.​

​

Training. It had become the one thing Gerwald had turned to more than anything else to work out the frustrations of his broken relationships. If he could be better, stronger, increase his skill, maybe then he could keep his promises to the people he loved. The lupine scoffed at the thought. If he was honest with himself there was no one left that he loved. He had either driven them away, been abandoned by them, or helped scrape their remains off the deck plating of a ship. ​

​

Sweat poured from Gerwald's head, his hair soaked with it. His tank top was soaked through to the point Gerwald had tossed it aside some time ago. The loose fitting track pants and black shoes where the only things keeping the rest of his form covered, not that the lupine had a stigma about being naked. It was natural to him, more so than clothing to the wolf buried inside. Gerwald switched off the black bladed cross guard saber he had built for himself since his return. Calling a towel to him through the force, the lupine wiped the sweat off his face and looked up to the observation deck in time to see a dark, yet familiar, figure turn away. ​

​

Quickly Gerwald grabbed his favorite zip hoodie and ran out of the training room. Taking the stairs to the left and running up them quickly, Gerwald made his attempt to catch the man he had not seen since Roon. ​

​

"Master Centaris! Alkor! WAIT!"​

​

The massive man used his taller frame to take massive strides and closed the distance between them. He was tired, but the adrenaline from his work out still kept him from losing the energy to keep pace. ​

​

"Don't go yet..."​

​

Alkor Centaris ​

 

[Alkor Centaris]

Alkor haunted the training facility in the months after she died. Even when he was still Knight Commander, he spent his days there watching when he was not alone and driving himself to the brink of collapse when he was. Today was one spent watching, especially when Knight Lechner came.

The Stewjonian marked one of the few in Confederate Space who had some impact on his time there. It had been small at first, largely a direct result of Knight Darcrath's demise. He gave them men stern instructions to stand down, to not risk his life against a very real threat.

And in the heat of that moment, he showed Alkor that while he could be as powerful or as strong as he wanted, it gave him no authority over others. Gerwald showed no respect for Alkor, and further, taught Alkor that he was no kind of leader.

He had always known it, but when it came back and hit him in the face he was unprepared.

All of those thoughts and displaced feelings culminated and became the point where Alkor came unglued. He had lost control and slaughtered droves of enemies, and then when he was brought to answer for it, he nearly ended the life of the man who now stood at the helm of the Knights Obsidian.

Reince still thought Alkor should remain a Knight. Somehow, in all of that, the Lord Commander deigned to keep him active. Albeit now, he was on a long term hiatus. He was barred from duty until something could be done about all the hate and distrust he had garnered from the rest of the Knighthood.

That was why he remained a ghost, rarely addressing others and rarely appearing in public. When he turned to leave, it was apparent that the other Knight had caught a glimpse of him. Gerwald moved quickly, and called out to him.

Alkor turned and looked his way, a sidelong glance. "Knight Lechner," he greeted the man.

Gerwald Lechner

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Location: KO Headquarters -- Training Facility
Wearing: xxx
Tag: Alkor Centaris

Just about when Gerwald thought the Alkor was going to keep walking the man stopped and turned around. There was a dark cloud about the master, but also something which constantly drew Gerwald in. He had learned recently the reason for that. Naedira was not completely dead. Gerwald was still processing the reality that it might be possible to see Naedira again. The lupine would do everything he needed to do in order to make that happen, even if it meant seeking out the help of the witches. Force only knew his relationship with that chapter of force users among the Confederacy was anything but amicable. Too much pain and hurt surrounded that group, some of it belonging to Gerwald to carry.​

​

The stoic voice of the Dark Jedi greeted the Knight. It was formal, so very formal. Gerwald simply nodded in recognition of the greeting. For whatever reason the lupine looked down and thought he should zip his shirt up, so he did, about three quarters of the way. Stuffing his hands into his pockets Gerwald took a couple more steps forward.​

​

"You should know... I didn't completely ignore you... The Mountain he... I let him... manipulate me."​

​

There was a face Gerwald could now put to Naedira's killer. Even more, Gerwald could put a name to the face. One did not have a presence in their mnd as much as Gerwald did without coming away with something. It had been a simple bit of information to pluck out of the killer's mind, and perhpas it was something the ego of the Sith allowed, but Gerwald knew nonetheless. He had been allowed to live, no doubt as another message to the Confederacy that if the Sith wanted to, they knew how to crush them, by breaking their spirits. Maybe the man acted on his own and was simply that sadistic of a creature. Regardless Gerwald lived, and the weight of his disobedience, and the realization he was not strong enough to avenge the death of the woman he loved ate away at him.​

​

Gerwald could only imagine what Alkor carried on his shoulders.​

​

"I've been cleared for active duty again, but my training... it's..." Gerwald looked away then back to the master... "Stalling... and I need to be stronger. I need to be better."​

 

[Alkor Centaris]

The actions Alkor took on Rugosa were a footnote in the list of reasons he remained on standby. Most notoriously, his assault and near murder of Hashim- now Reince, the Lord Commander of the Knights Obsidian- left most of the group distrustful of him. Gerwald was one of the few, ironically, who approached him of their own volition.

The Lord Commander said he had plans to smooth things out, but it had been nearly a fortnight since Alkor heard a word. He began to suspect the man took pleasure in his restlessness. Then again, Reince had come within a slim margin of death at Alkor's hand. If that was his game, it would be fair enough.

"The Sith thrive on lies and misdirection," Alkor remarked. "Learn that, and you will have a better understanding of your enemy."

Alkor knew there were many kinds of Sith. Metus, at the end of the day, was still like all the others. His path to power, the way he kept it, the decisions he made were all within the scope of that profane profession. Ideologically, what set him apart was the way he advocated for external freedom. Freedom for others. The ends justified the means and whatnot.

It still meant there were Sith in command of the Southern Systems. Alkor suspected Metus had taken a learner, or more than one. He suspected that there were others in power as well.

Despite his suspicions, it was not Alkor's place to act.

"You are not the first, nor will you be the last to fall prey to the machinations of the Dark Lord and his ilk." There was something to be said for facing down the Hand of the Emperor and living. There must have been more to the story than Alkor knew. He hadn't had access to the files since his brief decommissioning.

Today, Alkor did not wear the ring. Instead of hanging from his neck, it rested in his pocket. There was a part of him that hoped Knight Darcrath would not pick that moment to manifest herself. Things between her and the former Knight Commander were already strained.

"Do you follow the same routines?" he inquired of the Knight. "Exercises set out for you by the trainers? Recommended safety protocols? The Knight Obsidian Standards?"

Gerwald Lechner

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Location: KO Headquarters -- Training Facility
Wearing: xxx
Tag: Alkor Centaris

Lies and misdirection were the tools of the Sith, but certainly not all of them. Gerwald knew of at least one Sith who had never lied to him, nor had she deceived him. Yes, it was a general statement, and certainly true of The Sith Empire, but there were Sith among the Confederacy who seemed to rely on other things. Gerwald knew the code which Sith lived by. He had been made to understand those words when Naedira agreed to show Gerwald how to shield his mind from unwanted guests. His efforts had not stopped the Mountain, but Gerwald knew the words well. What was more, he was beginning to believe in them.​

​

What was there to do other than nod. Gerwald was not going to argue this point with Alkor, not when he was making an effort to apologize and seek the man's help. ​

​

"He is not an enemy I will ever be able to hope to defeat, not at my current level of skill and power," Gerwald admitted what Alkor had tried to tell him. "There is only one benefit to my disobedience, and that is we know the person responsible for her death."​

​

There was a bite to his words when it came to the mention of Darth Prazutis, but a very sense of love and care at the slightest mention and hint of the woman they both knew. For Gerwald it was simple. Naedira was the person he was closest to in the Confederacy, or had been. With his sister gone, others he had know also gone, Gerwald had only one person to combat the descent into loneliness. Now Gerwald was left with only his demons, and they were his and his alone to slay. ​

​

"And yet, I was foolish enough to do so. My feelings for Naedira have been obvious to everyone since her passing, and it was those feelings he manipulated, and yet the only thing I regret is that I never told her how I felt."​

​

Yes, Gerwald also regretted the fact he did not keep his promise to keep the woman safe. However, Gerwald now understood had he been present he would also be dead. Alkor would be carrying the weight of two dead Knights on his shoulder. ​

​

"I do not understand why he let me live, other than he did. The routines and practices of the nights are restricting. I have stuck to them, but none of it prepares one for what I faced with Prazutis. On Stewjon our training was riskier, but yielded strong warriors. I need something more. I need to be better.​

 

[Alkor Centaris]

Lechner seemed preoccupied with Darth Prazutis to an unhealthy degree. Were he still the Knight Commander, Alkor might have gently chided the man for his obsession and counseled him that there would come a time and place for retribution. That the Knights Obsidian would not stand for an outstanding threat to their own.

Alas, he was no longer.

Alkor was a Dark Jedi. He understood hatred and anger intimately. The sensations of loss, of suffering, and of emptiness were all too real to him. While he had no grounds to offer Gerwald words of hope or peace, he had more real things for the Knight to cling to.

"Fear," Alkor replied, "and anger. Hate, sorrow, but most of all..." He turned to face the taller man with no hint of feeling in his expression. Only his eyes, the color of a cold sea regarded the man. They were vast and empty. "...the pain you feel. These things are tools. You speak of the Sith Prazutis as a man who sees himself beneath another. Words have power. Thoughts have power. Emotions have power."

He lifted his arm, and the folds of his cloak fell away to reveal the blackened appendage. It resonated blasphemous energies in the Force, inexorably connected to the Nether. "And they can be turned against you. Efficiently, obviously, because this Mountainous Sith has poisoned your mind. You may train for months and even years to overcome the lesser Zambrano," Alkor told him, "but you will always fail until you overcome your true enemy."

He turned back to face the training ground. "The drills and protocols are for initiates," he explained, "geared for bringing in neophytes and raising them to adequacy. Adequate is enough for defending the Confederacy against most threats, but adequate is not powerful."

He returned his arm to his side, where it fell behind a curtain of black again. "If you seek strength, you will not find it in routine or even in the higher level exercises of the Knights Obsidian. Make no mistake, Gerwald. You may become among the greatest Knights Obsidian without ever ascending beyond the limits set before you," Alkor said.

"And there is no shame in living within your limitations. I once told Knight Darcrath that," he said, "but I suppose you can imagine her response."

Gerwald Lechner

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Location: KO Headquarters -- Training Facility
Wearing: xxx
Tag: @Alkor Centaris

Gerwald sighed. There was something coming from the former Lord Commander that Gerwald could not place. It seemed the man was more free with his observations now that he was no longer connected to the the position he once held. He listened to the man's words, winced at hearing the name of his enemy said allowed. There were memories, experiences, which flashed through his mind at the mere mention of him. Images flashed quickly into Alkor's mind if he would allow them to. A brief glimpse of the torture Gerwald had suffered would be enough to help the man understand why there was such a singular focus on defeating the man. Prazitus had made it personal.​

​

"And what is my true enemy then?" The lupine asked as his eyes fell to Alkor's arm.​

​

It was deformed, tainted by darkness. Gerwald had never seen such a wound, but in truth, he had never felt such a wound. There was something about it which pained Gerwald deep inside simply knowing it existed. What reason could Alkor even have for showing him the wound? What point was there to make his words had not already? ​

​

"No they do not make one powerful, and I would disagree that they are adequate in even teaching us how to defend the Confederacy, not when one lone Sith can do the damage he has done. Adequate is not enough."​

​

Yes, Gerwald knew he was all but playing with fire by ignoring what Alkor was saying. He needed to let go, but Gerwald refused. There were two things Gerwald was determined to see. Prazitus would pay for what he did. Naedira would live again, somehow. The power Alkor spoke of was attainable, otherwise why mention it? Yet for some reason he also spoke of living in his limits. ​

​

Gerwald scoffed. He knew exactly what Naedira would have said to that, and it was similar to what was coming out of Gerwald's mouth now.​

​

"There is no strength or glory in it either. Limitations are not meant to define, they are meant to be surpassed. Why would there be more to attain if it was not meant to be chased or reached? I will face him again, or at least see him brought down. Will you help me to become stronger?​

 

[Alkor Centaris]

He looked the young wolf over, though the man stood far taller. There was a hint of determination there, but also a blissful ignorance. The path that those of the darker persuasion walked was dangerous. They all knew it. Treachery plagued them, and allies were as likely as enemies to be the end of them. Even the Knights Obsidian, who prided themselves on Brotherhood and Camaraderie, were not immune to that inevitability.

Still, Lechner said he wanted knowledge. He sought to pluck the apple from the tree knowing full well it most likely would be the poison that took his life. Alkor respected that. After Naedira looked him in the eye and said she had the right to make her own choices and bravely, valiantly died- how could he not?

Alkor broke his gaze away and placed a finger to his chin. "Who indeed," he pondered aloud.

Knight Lechner was not a subtle man. He ran headlong into the maw of the beast to seek vengeance for a fallen friend, the woman he loved. Even Alkor, a bloody brutal man, knew there was a proper order and method to such things. He was reminded, when he considered Gerwald, of Lahash de Fortia. Powerful and direct. He used his influence to enslave planets and destroy his enemies. He had all that power, but he exercised no restraint in the way he executed it.

It had been his undoing.

Gerwald was yet a fledgling on the path to power. A fledgling granted the rank of Master, but on his way forward, thrust into the unknown. "The Confederacy is not weakened by the failings of these Knights Obsidian alone," Alkor revealed at last. "Even with a fully trained Knighthood, we could not hope to be equal to the task of defending this nation."

It was false to say that a single man could do nothing, and even more erroneous to disagree that adequate was far from enough. Still, they could not change how the Knights Obsidian operated. Too many things had transpired. The cogs were already in motion.

"In time, these Knights Obsidian will grow, learn, and adapt to become stronger in their own way. What you seek is outside of that," Alkor explained.

He looked back at Gerwald. "And it could cost you everything. That is why I told Naedira to step away from the path. I never told her she was incapable, or that she was too weak. I told her she did not have to, because there were already those of us who made that sacrifice."

She had not understood his meaning, and he had not elaborated; but now, in front of Lechner, he told the truth.

Alkor had never wanted the woman in harm's way.

"If you want that power, yes. I will help you." Alkor replied, "but you may not survive it."

Gerwald Lechner

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Location: KO Headquarters -- Training Facility
Wearing: xxx
Tag: Alkor Centaris

His question was only answered with a question. Typical of some leaders. Naedira would have just told him. The woman had once observed he was angry. Gerwald remembered that encounter well. She had helped him expand on what mental skills he did possess. That meeting had been more than training, but it had been the first time anyone had introduced him to any kind of philosophy on how the force worked. Naedira had taught him the Sith Code, a portion of it anyway. ​

​

Through passion I gain strength!​

​

Perhaps Alkor was realizing his mistake. The force master was being candid with Gerwald, explaining why he had said to Naedira the things he had. There was a cost to the power they both sought, but the mistake Alkor Centaris made, the one that would drive Gerwald to an early gave as well, was making a decision that was not his to make. In part Gerwald was furious that Alkor would presume to make the decision. Again, Gerwald found he could not blame the man, not when he himself would do anything, march into hell itself, to have Naedira back and to ensure she never had to sacrifice herself again.​

​

Gerwald could only sigh. Relaxing his stance as the sigh escaped his lips, he nodded at the words which came from Alkor's mouth.​

​

"At least you recognize the decision to pay that price is no longer yours to make. It was not yours in regards to Naedira, and it certainly is not with me. Neither of us wanted to lose her to an early grave, and I know you do not wish to lose another, but unless others of us follow the same path as those before us, then the day will come when others will be forced to make that sacrifice. They will not have the choice that we have now."​

​

He let his words settle in the air for a moment. Alkor had presented him with an offer, one which came with a warning. The lupine rolled it over in his mind, but in truth what choice did he have. Their numbers were shrinking. Gerwald himself had been given the rank of master before he deserved it. His foolish exploits with Darth Prazutis had earned him something other than what it should have. ​

​

"Naedira is dead. My sister has abandoned me. I should have died at the hands of Darth Prazutis many times over. If I die then so be it. Every breath I take into these lungs is one I do not deserve to breath."​

​

Gerwald paused for a brief moment to ensure he looked directly into Alkor's gaze.​

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"Show me the way."​

 

[Alkor Centaris]

Alkor watched as the Lupine glowered down at him. Resentment radiated off of Lechner, whether or not he intended it to. Perhaps he was just lacking in any type of subtlety with regard to his own emotions?

The Jen'jidai exhaled when the taller man spoke. "The sole mistake that was made was forcing me into the role of Knight Commander. It has since been corrected."

Alkor turned away from the other man and stared down at the training grounds. "Now whatever path the Knights Obsidian take is their own to design. Though, I cannot say that regular training practices will not remain the norm."

He watched the sunlight fading beyond the dome that housed them, and the chemiluminescence of the facility begin to flicker to life. It was not his place to speak on what the rest of them would do, and he had stopped caring. Words from his fallen Brothers replayed in his thoughts as he closed his eyes and drew a deeper breath.

The weak should be helped to die.

Weakness should be purged from the universe without any prejudice.

He turned back to consider Gerwald. "Your failure to die at the hands of the Sith were those of his vanity, and his decision to toy with you. You see him as your enemy, but he sees you as nothing."

Alkor folded his arms. "And perhaps you are nothing. But nothing has the advantage of seeming insignificant. You have a world of time in which to grow while he considers you beneath his notice. Capitalize on it."

He had a lightsaber in hand before his arms were relaxed and the beam was hot, it's activation sudden. Alkor held the weapon to the man's face, less than a foot of distance between them.

"Your first task is a simple one. If you deserve death, then you will die."

Gerwald Lechner

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Location: KO Headquarters -- Training Facility
Wearing: xxx
Tag: Alkor Centaris

Gerwald scoffed. If the man before him thought the worst mistake he had made was accepting the role of Lord Commander, then he was more out of touch with reality than Gerwald first thought. As a teacher himself, Gerwald knew one could not protect a warrior. Often times the best teacher itself was conflict. No, Alkor had failed because he allowed his own sense of self righteousness cloud his judgement in how to best prepare those under his command for the cruel reality of war. Gerwald was angry that Naedira had been the price of that lesson. ​

​

It served no purpose to argue their differences on that matter, especially when the man was offering to help Gerwald. At least they could both agree the Knights Obsidian would never be enough, not for some, and certainly not for Gerwald. He would work with them, and within whatever constraints they asked of him, but he would also seek this power Alkor knew he wanted. ​

​

His words about the bout with Prazutis stung, but they were not false. The Sith wanted to send a message to the Confederacy, that much had been certain. Naedira's death had been a message. Gerwald's breaking had been a message. All of it, as Alkor so astutely pointed out, was for his own pride and vanity. It had been nothing more than an act of great hubris, and Gerwald had been an all too willing victim. ​

​

Gerwald was nothing. ​

​

It was good to be nothing. ​

​

He let the words of the former Lord Commander sink in. Prazuits would no longer be keeping an eye on Gerwald, not as long as he thought the lupine so easily discarded. Gerwald had been tossed aside like nothing more than a ragdoll, and if this was the picture the Sith Lord carried with him, then Gerwald did have an advantage. Gerwald also had to come to terms with reality. He was still alive. Whether it was something he deserved or did not, Gerwald had survived. There was still life to live, a point made all too clear by the point of a plasma blade suddenly inched from his face.​

​

In a split second, Gerwald's own blade came to life. The black blade crackled, displaying the evidence of a broken crystal. It was all too fitting for Gerwald to carry, a broken blade for a broken warrior. A quick slash to the left came to meet the blade which threatened to end the lupine's life. Regardless of what had been said, Gerwald was not willing to die. He would not die, he could not die. Dying would mean Prazutis would go unpunished, it would Naedira would remain dead, and the lupine would never be able to tell her his true feelings whether she returned them or not. ​

​

"No," came the simple answer. "There are things which must be done before I can meet my end."​

 

[Alkor Centaris]

Alkor could feel the turmoil in Knight Lechner. It was palpable, ferocious, and it wanted to drink deep of his blood. If they were paltry Sith, perhaps he would have seen this as the perfect opportunity to teach the man his place in all of this. Gerwald had spoken the words that set them apart from that. He sought power.

Whether he did so out of a fixation on Knight Darcrath or not was of no concern to Alkor. The time would come when Gerwald learned that his obsession was inconsequential and that the Galaxy was unrelenting. Alkor's decision to withhold her from the front lines was a strategic blunder and nothing more.

Neither of them had factored for Darth Prazutis. The difference was, Naedira faced him. She did so with a sense of duty, with her pride as a Knight, and with her compassion and love for the Confederacy that had become her own. That set them apart.

Alkor considered all of this- every aspect- to be the machinations of Darth Metus. The dream that Isley Verd breathed into being. It began and ended with that. He did not need the Confederacy.

Lechner sought after power because he believed in... something. A future? The Confederacy? An unrequited love for Naedira?

"So you have a reason to be alive? Or you should have died?" Alkor turned the blade with a slight movement of his wrist angling the Stewjonian's weapon aside as he swept his weapon down, under, and up to point now toward Gerwald's chest. "Which is it, Knight Lechner? Do you want to live? Or do you have to live?"

Alkor took a step closer and shoved the blade forward, seeking to skewer the Lupine should he not react.

Gerwald Lechner

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Location: KO Headquarters -- Training Facility
Wearing: xxx
Tag: Alkor Centaris

It was not just turmoil, but conflict, which Gerwald felt inside. Why should he be allowed to live while others around him died? The question was worth asking. He had watched as his own siblings killed their parents. Katrine was gone. Scherezade had almost dies herself. Alwine had long since left, abandoning him during his recovery. Yet, Gerwald could not find it in himself to let death take him. There was something in him that refused to die. ​

​

Again, Gerwald was left with a split second to react. Alkor had managed to counter his slash with simple ease. Any that would pass by and observe the bout would notice that neither seemed to be trying too hard. While they were using deadly weaponry that could, and would, cause real damage, the two seemed to be using their blades to dialogue as much as spar. ​

​

The lupine took a step back, rolling his to bring his blade crashing down upon the blade which had once again been thrust toward him. It was a simple action still, designed to knock the blade out it's path. As he did so, Gerwald asked the one question which burned at the tip of his tongue.​

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"Can't it be both... why does it have to be one or the other. I want to live... I HAVE to live."​

 

[Alkor Centaris]

Their blades crashed together, and Alkor brought his own upward like a brush on canvas. His wrist turned at the instant of impact to allow Gerwald's weapon to glide along the edge of his own. The Lupine was rewarded by the strike not pressing deep enough to singe him.

He wanted it. His instincts spoke for him, even when conflict gripped his thoughts. His words were filled with torment, real pain from whatever past Alkor knew nothing about. Two men who knew nothing about each other, locked in a deadly bout.

No different from any war.

He spun his blade quick out and then across at an angle, from Gerwald's right toward the man's neck. Again, Alkor sent a potential deathblow at him. Again, the Galaxy saw fit to make an attempt on his life.

How many would Gerwald survive out of necessity?

"She died doing her duty," Alkor said at last. "Is that why you pretend that yours will save anyone?"

Gerwald Lechner

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Location: KO Headquarters -- Training Facility
Wearing: xxx
Tag: Alkor Centaris

His neck was the target this time. Every strike Alkor took threatened Gerwald's assertion that he needed to live. Why was duty enough when it came to death, but an insignificant excuse when it came to living? The double standard did not seem to be more clear to Gerwald than it did in that moment.​

​

The ebony blade moved upward in an underblock. Once again the attack came, and once again Gerwald blocked it. He was not simply surviving each attack. Gerwald was defending his right to live. His past did not matter in the moment, only the future. There was a future for him, he knew it. The lupine simply did not know what it was.​

​

This time Gerwald pushed off the attack and pressed into one of his own. Should the man allow it, Gerwald sent a massive wave of force energy toward the former Lord Commander. This fight would continue until one of them gave in, but it was now personal. Alkor had made it personal.​

​

"Pretend! You know nothing. I have failed the people around me more times that you know, and I will not fail again. It is not only power that I seek, but also redemption. I promised..."​

​

Rage... anger, consumed Gerwald. He was not angry at Alkor, but rather himself. It was time to embrace his own failings and move past them, but first, Gerwald needed to face them.​

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"I am better... I can be better!"​

 

[Alkor Centaris]

Alkor was forced backward by an explosive outburst of energy. Gerwald was forced to confront a power in the present. Here and now, something sought to end his life. He stood against one of the last Jen'jidai, and though Alkor had no real desire to kill him, a lapse in the man's will to live would end in his ruin.

He recovered his footing at a distance that Gerwald would find saved him from immediate reprisal, but that did not stop the force of nature from taking a slow step forward, followed by another, quicker step.

"For the dead?" he asked. "Because you have failed?"

Pain did not put a halt to his advance. Fury did not drive him, nor hatred. His malice existed inside him, and would only respond to his calling if he saw fit to loose it. The distance between them in that moment was evident.

Gerwald Lechner was living as a slave to his past.

Failure teaches us...

...but do we live simply to transcend failure?

...or is it in failure that we learn to be who we truly are?

Alkor brought his weapon across in a powerful slash, intended for Gerwald's midsection from left to right. He quickly closed the gap between them, his body moving now at high speed.

"...but who will you do it for?" he asked. "It won't bring them back."

Gerwald Lechner

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Location: KO Headquarters -- Training Facility
Wearing: xxx
Tag: Alkor Centaris

Alkor continued to challenge Gerwald. Every answer was met with another question. This was not about his rash choice to chase after Prazutis anymore, nor was about Naedira's death. Alkor insisted on making it personal. He made it about Gerwald himself. ​

​

The lupine had never taken stock of his motives, only that he knew why he was so hellbent on seeing Naedira return to the land of the living. Of all the ones who were no longer in his life... the circumstance around Naedira was different.​

​

"I don't care to have them back... there is only one I want," he said as Gerwald planted his back foot.​

​

His blade came crashing into Alkor's from the opposite direction. Using the momentum, and the massive strength of his size, Gerwald rolled their blades up toward the sky. If Alkor did not move, Gerwald's forehead would come crashing down upon his opponents nose as he stepped into the attack. His entre intent was force Alkor back while keeping their blades locked.​

​

"Alwine left me. Katrine left me. Naedira... she was stolen from me, and before I could tell her..." Gerwald choked back the last of his words before answering Alkor's question. "I cannot protect those who have moved on... I cannot be better to save them, I get that. I refuse to lose another. Does her sacrifice mean anything if I don't change... if I don't... grow?"​

​

His blade returned to his lightsaber. If Alkor wanted to press the attack he could, but Gerwald was done fighting over his past.​

​

"This is as much about me. and what I want, as it is about her who she knew me to be, what she saw that I did not even see in myself. There is more... I have more to give... I need to find it."​

 

[Alkor Centaris]

Alkor thumbed the activation switch of his weapon in the instant where Gerwald's weight came to bear on his own weapon. The blade flickered out as the Lupine's blade traveled along it's predestined path without any resistance. The Jen'jidai did not shy away from pain, or danger. When the man brought his head down, Alkor met it with his own.

The ringing in his ears did nothing to drown to words dripping from Gerwald's mouth. He raised his weapon, emitter still hot, and leveled it at the man's throat. He did not switch the blade on.

His head throbbed. Blood spewed from a newly open wound on his forehead. His violent gaze, stained red now by contempt that broiled beneath the surface stared back at Lechner.

"Her sacrifice was her sacrifice. What you do now is entirely self-indulgence."

He pressed the weapon to touch against the man's flesh. It did not need to activate now to sear and cause pain- though it would not be lethal by any stretch of the imagination.

"And there is nothing wrong with that. Let go of the delusion that anything you do has external stimuli. Understand why you want what you want, and take it."

He uttered the next words, unspoken for many years now, in a low, thoughtful voice.

"Passion leads to pursuit." Alkor explained. The sundered code of the Jen'jidai still held wisdom. "Without something to strive after, we become dull blades. It is well and good to have something you want-"

He pressed the hilt harder against Gerwald.

"But there is a difference between using it to fuel your drive, and letting it drive you. Come to grips with your past. Accept the things you cannot change, and move forward. Do so, or be consumed by an obsession that will lead you into ruin."

Alkor withdrew the weapon and took a step back from Gerwald.

"You will not grow focused on a memory. There is no future in the past."

Gerwald Lechner

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Location: KO Headquarters -- Training Facility
Wearing: xxx
Tag: Alkor Centaris

Hot metal seared into his skin as the smell of cooked flesh hit his nostrils. Gerwald could feel the pain as it pressed into his throat. He hated that Alkor was right, hated it deeply. Naedira what she did, and it had been her choice to do so. Even so, it still felt as though she had been taken from him, stolen. Gerwald knew that was even misplaced as the woman was never his. She had been a friend, maybe something more, but Gerwald would never know. Yes, he was being selfish, yet he still did not understand why it had to be self indulgence alone.​

​

Gerwald lived a dual nature. He was both reason and instinct in one. Certainly Alkor knew there was part of the man was nothing more than a primal beast. There were times the wolf inside him got what it wanted even while Gerwald maintained his human shape. For once Gerwald opted to do the wise thing. He was silent. Even a fool was thought wise when he kept his mouth shut. Perhaps Gerwald was the fool, he certainly had acted like one in regards to how responded to the loss of his best friend.​

​

"How is that different from the SIth. Through Passion I gain Strength?"​

​

When Gerwald finally spoke it was with genuine curiosity. This was something new. It sounded Sith, and yet Alkor also spoke like a Jedi in his warning. Passion should fuel his drive, but it was not meant to drive him. Gerwald simply smirked at the idea. It wasn't that he thought what the man said was funny, but Alkor was talking to a wolf.​

​

"You forget that part of my nature is purely driven by passion and instinct. The wolf is as much part of me as the man is."​

​

It wasn't a flippant comment. Gerwald needed to know Alkow was certain he knew that at the core of who Gerwald was resided a beast.​

​

"I cannot live in the past, but I cannot feel like I keep paying for it either. I am resigned to the fact they are all gone, that everyone I get close to leaves or dies. If that is my lot, to never be close to anyone, I can accept that. Yet, I cannot help but know that HE is still out there, and there are others like him that would do this to anyone in this Confederacy. I am not even foolish enough to think I can save everyone, but I can save some, most even."​

​

Gerwald let his weapon fall back to where he had taken it from. His neck still stinging from the burn. The cylindrical scar it would leave behind would serve as a reminder to the lesson Alkor taught him.​

​

"I can move on. I will do whatever it takes, because I must."​

​

Did it mean he would abandon any hope or thought of seeing Naedira return to the land of the living? No, it did not. However, Gerwald was no longer going to allow her death and loss be something that could manipulate him. His feelings for her would not become his undoing, Gerwald could not afford for that to happen. If she was going to live again, Gerwald was going to be there when she did.​

 

[Alkor Centaris]

Alkor clipped the hilt of his weapon to his belt at last as Gerwald began to speak and folded his arms beneath his cloak. The death throes of daylight reached through the grounds like fingertips, desperate and clinging.

It was much like the way Gerwald had held on to his past, and in some ways, still would. For a time. He had the course charted now, and while no journey through life ever sailed smoothly, it was far easier with a destination. Even if it was not the last destination he would ever strive toward.

"Passion is important," Alkor answered. "Sentient beings are not robotic. We cannot deny our urges and impulses. They define us. In that, the Sith afford themselves honesty. Left unchecked, however, power becomes unwieldy. Vain. Blinding. A Sith inevitably becomes numb to his own failures."

Alkor straightened a bit as he spoke. "You are aware of what you are. You know you have failed, and already accept that you are weak. Knowledge," he told Gerwald, "that has given you your passion."

His gaze did not falter from the setting sun as it disappeared at last, and night fell over them. Born in the light, and baptized in darkness. The smallest of smirks tugged at the edge of the Dark Jedi's lips.

I do not fail to see the irony, Master.

"You know who your enemy is, now. Before, you were your own enemy. Ghosts of your past plagued you. Doubt cast over you by an enemy who took the things you cared about and robbed you of your dignity. But doubt is absolved by knowledge."

Alkor turned to regard Gerwald. "With that doubt cleared away, you can see. And those are the first few things I will impart to you, as they were imparted to me."

Doubt is absolved by Knowledge.
Knowledge leads to Passion.
Passion leads to Pursuit.

"Your past belongs to you alone," Alkor told him at last. "Once you own it, it can never be made to turn against you. Your past is a weapon. Your memories can incite your rage from cinders into a blaze, but only at your behest."

How would they have looked at him now? All of them rotting in their crypts, or returned to the soil that begat them? How would they have seen Alkor, speaking the words of a Code that they, in their infighting and vanity threw aside?

Alkor already had his answer.

They wouldn't.

A dead man can do nothing.

Gerwald Lechner