Apologies

[Kemoth of Asteria]

People keep trying to help, so I suppose I should just take their advice, and take the time to reflect. Between the person calling... actually, all of that is irrelevant. It doesn't matter what anyone has done to me, or what kind of sleights (perceived [see: made up in my mind to justify something], or real [the minority here]) have been made against me, I seem to have gotten into the mindset that I wasn't at fault for anything, and that everyone here was in the wrong. That is not at all accurate, which I am now realizing since this canon company thing got way out of control, and people started talking about taking away the canon companies you guys have worked so hard to build up. So, I've decided just to drop the MCS matter. The dude can do whatever he wants with the companies as long as it is within the rules, and there is no way that any horribly veiled attempts of mine can change things to get me what I want earlier rather than later - I can convince myself that it wasn't that, but it was, so, I'll just leave it there.

While there have been issues with a handful of members, the majority of you guys haven't caused any problems for me beyond trying to be helpful, and then seeing me biting your head off because I didn't like what you said, and going "woah". You all get that I have some... personal issues, but you also all understand that none of those things are excuses for what I have done. I have moments where I can be logical and rational, so I decided to take advantage of this.

I was told that burning bridges simply because I didn't get something my way, when I wanted it, and how I wanted it was a bad idea. I've been argumentative on that front, and even disregarded the advice of people who are old enough to be my parents and are probably much wiser than I will ever be for the next 20 or 30 years or so.

That wasn't just stupid of me, it was complete lunacy, which I have found a distaste for.

So, uh, what I'm trying to do here is apologize before I change my mind, and promise that I will adjust my behavior. There will be less "thanks, but no thanks" in PMs and Discord chats on advice, which I have sorely needed to listen to. I will attempt to mend tensions between those I have had issues with, uh, more directly, but I think that it would be best just to wait for them to come to me, and give everyone a... uhm, break from the porg

Anyway, getting back to the point. Between the rudeness, and the faux "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings" that were mixed in with genuine apologies to cause confusion, a lot of you have probably develop an intense dislike for me, or have just been disappointed like one particular member who seemed to only want to help me. So, I'll try to reflect on things more before I do something, or when an idea pops into my mind, or when I feel the urge to just type whatever my brain thinks of. I need to be less confrontational, and most definitely attempt to avoid certain situations or atmospheres.

I understand that. I've just been ignoring it up until this point, because I wanted to feel entirely justified in my actions.

Now that you guys have a sincere apology, I just wanted to thank those of you who have been especially welcoming to me, and give an extra sorry to those of you who I have pushed away in my immature temper tantrums or... uhm, hurt in other ways.

Regards,

Arventum

 

[Onrai]

k

 

[Tathra Khaeus]

[j]k

Everyone makes mistakes, and everybody deserves a second, third and fourth chance.

 

[Kemoth of Asteria]

[j]k

Everyone makes mistakes, and everybody deserves a second, third and fourth chance.

If you don't want to get along, that's fine, but I'd rather that we could. I'd rather not have continuous problems simply because of a few episodes I had while around the computer, and a bias that formed as a result of maybe 3 people on a forum with dozens of members. I don't need additional chances. I just wanted to apologize. If you need to chat out something specific over PMs, I can certainly do that if that helps mend things.

I do not believe in giving people chances constantly. While I would like more chances, I cannot be a hypocrite at this moment because I said I would reflect, and I have. It would be nice, yes, but I've burned bridges and been generally horrible towards people. I don't really care to have that horribleness continue on anyone's part.

Thanks for at least commenting, though. I appreciate it, mate.

[member="The Matador"]

P.S.

If this wasn't sarcasm, I apologize.

---

[member="Vanessa Vantai"]

The same applies to you, Vanessa. If you have anymore advice, or need to talk things out, I can both listen and talk things out with you. It has taken a while for me to realize what I was doing. I just am thankful that I'm not like those who never realize it, and I'm hoping that the realization can be used rather than shoved to the side. I'm not asking for another chance, or to be friends, or even to RP with you. I just want to be civil, and make sure everyone is doing okay rather than there being any difficulties between people.