Back From the Ashes

[Valgærd]

As ever, the lake outside of the city was beautiful. The sun filtered through the green canopy of trees, the distant calls and chirps of the wildlife echoed beyond the clearing. The soft breeze rolled through the branches, carrying the bouquet of blooming flora with it. This place was so peaceful, so tranquil, so… pleasant.

And yet, I could not relax.

My cheeks were hot and wet, coated in salty tears. My throat was dry and hoarse, my shoulders heaved and my chest ached. I had no idea how long I had been here, sobbing into the lake’s edge. I was sitting on my knees, and everything below them was now numb. But I didn’t care.

He was gone.

It had been three weeks since I had read the letter Ignis had left. I lost count of how many times I had read it over to myself. For days I had tried to reach out through the force, to feel his signature, to know that he was alright.

But my emotions had been too strong, they had overtaken me, clouding my mind. I couldn’t tame them nor channel them, it was not something I had yet learned. And so here I’d been left, left to wonder if he was coming back at all, if he was even still alive.

I had run out of tears, but I wasn’t yet ready to head back to my quarters at the temple. The sun would set before long, I knew I ought to return before dark… but I just wanted a few more minutes. If I was supposed to be mourning now, I wanted the solitude to do such.


[member="Ignis Imura"]

 

[Ignatius]

Traveling home, I was still curious of the mark upon my chest. A scar that ran along the length of my heart. I had also looked in the mirrors within the ship to confirm that I also had the mark on the other side of my back. Yet I was still alive. I was entirely confused by it. Replacing the shirt with a new one before I brought the ship down to Aururm. I carried my sword with me as I walked down the ramp. I hadn't taken a shower in the three weeks that I had been gone. My hair was clearly a mess as the Je'daii that was in charge of watching over the ships today walked over to me. I knew not his name, but he knew me.

"Imura... Are you okay?"
"Just a rough few weeks. I will be fine."

I started to walk away when I turned around back to face the young man.

"Actually, where is Sahna?"
"Who?"
"Nevermind."

I moved on from him. At first walking, then moving to a jogging pace down the halls. I quickened my speed to reach Sahna's doors of her room. Knocking first, I opened them to show that she was not here. I then tried to look around where we normally met for training. Not there. I then raced to anywhere I could think. The library, the forge. Nothing. I was hoping nothing bad had happened to her. My mind raced and began to think of thoughts of what happened to her. Did she run off looking for me? Did she... no. She wouldn't do that. She couldn't.

I stopped. Attempting to calm myself while I searched through the force for her. Attempting to find her. To reach her. I got an inkling of where she was. I didn't think to use telepathy as I raced to the speeders. Turning on the engine as I hopped on and threw it all the way into fourth gear before I even left the temple grounds. Racing so fast I might have broken the speeder.

I almost ran into a few trees as I had to slow down. Making my way through the jungle. Getting fairly close. I yelled upon the top of my lungs.

"SAHNA!"

[member="Sahna Te"],

 

[Valgærd]

"SAHNA!"

I have no idea how many times I had sat here, by the lakeside, imagining hearing Ignis call my name.

But I was sure I wasn't daydreaming this time, was I? What a cruel trick my mind was playing if I was. How was I supposed to reconcile this loss if I was unable to let it go? I could remember those first few nights after Aranias had died, holed up in some cargo bay of a rickety old bucket of a ship. I had heard my name then, too; desperately calling to me. Was this my fate? To be haunted forever by the ghosts of my past?

No.

Maybe I had given up, and the acceptance of my fate had cleared my mind somewhat. Maybe I was clinging to that last shred of hope, subconsciously reaching out through the force further and more desperately than I ever had before. Honestly I don't know. But something, something was out there. I felt it. I didn't know if I could bring myself to hope that it was him. Could I even look up? I knew that if I did, and saw only empty trees, that would surely break me.

I took a deep breath.

"Ignis?" My voice was soft, far too soft to be heard beyond my own reflection in the lake.

I was nervous, uncertain. Part of me didn't want to call out in case nothing called back. Part of me wanted to just stay quiet, to sink back into tears, to let the blanket of grief descend once again. But... another part of me, the part that been growing stronger every day I'd been here... that part of me wanted desperately to call out, to run into the trees, to search frantically until I found him. That part of me won.

"IGNIS!" I cried, hauling myself to my feet.

Immediately I collapsed to my knees again, my legs aching with the intense pain of suddenly being used after being asleep for so long. I may have cried out in pain, I wasn't even sure. All I felt was frustration. I couldn't run at top speed, I could barely lift myself from the grass and limp towards the trees where I'd heard my name. A sigh escaped me, although it came out more like a huff. Desperate beyond anything I'd ever felt, I closed my eyes, and reached out with through the force.

I felt him.

For a split-second, I thought my mind was so deluded that I was fabricating the feeling; I was only feeling it because I wanted to, so badly. But I knew that wasn't it. I drew in another breath, leaning heavily against a tree as I dare not try to walk again just yet, let alone run. I could feel him just through the trees.

"Ignis, I'm here!" My voice was strained, weak almost.

Clinging to the tree, I kept my eyes shut, reaching out as intensely as I could, praying that it was truly him through the trees.

[member="Ignis Imura"]

 

[Ignatius]

Hearing my voice echo through the jungle, I continued to walk onward. Hastily making my way through the branches. Having them tug and pull against me. The Trees themselves preventing my movement onward as some dark entity. Yet they are not. My mind raced. Was she even somewhere here? Was it a long gone signature that was left in the wake of what would be her... no. She wouldn't do that. She was a strong smart girl that knew our line of work came with dangers. Even more so mine as a Sith Knight. I was in a constant war with myself, and the Galaxy at the same time.

I moved deeper within. Only to hear the cry of my name. Immediately I ran towards the sound. Calling out her name once more into the abyss of trees and plants.

"SAHNA!"

It was a few moments later that I could hear her voice again. However, very weak. Almost as though the voice had been used by a dying breath. No. Don't think that. That's not possible. Racing as fast as I could. I decided it would be better this way. I lept up into a tree and climbed to the nearest branch. Overlooking to see if there was any sign of a blue and white crown with orange tones. I hopped from tree to tree for a moment. Finally seeing her, I dropped down. Landing hard onto the ground with an audible, ouph.

I stumbled down onto all fours. Looking up, I saw that she was leaning up against a tree. Her frame barely holding onto it. Eyes closed, almost clenched as though she were praying fiercely and with the conviction of the devout. I jogged the last few steps over to her. Moving my arm between her and the tree so that she could rest upon me and not the harder surface of the bark. My hand reaching up to the side of her head and I clutched her within my embrace. Breathing heavily as I held upon her, I spoke between the ragged breaths.

"I'm here. I promise. I am here. I'm home."

Every ounce of my body sighed. Knowing that my... fears, my nightmare was not true gave me some brevity within my soul. Feeling her in my arms. The warmth of her body and the almost shivering frame of her shoulders against my chest.

"I'm sorry."

[member="Sahna Te"],

 

[Valgærd]

It had to be him.

I clung to the tree, my legs aching even as they barely held me up. I hardly felt them, though. My whole mind, my entire being was focused on the voice in the woods. I barely breathed, only allowing my lungs to draw air in order to call out his name. I heard my own in response.

He was out there.

There was a large thud a few feet ahead. I was concentrating so hard I didn't even flinch. Looking back, I realise I might never achieve that level of focus again. Only one thing in the entire galaxy mattered to me in that moment, and that was reaching out to feel him again. I didn't even hear the crash of something stumbling through the underbrush towards me. I could have been attacked by a wild animal and I doubt I would have lost my focus.

Jogging.

I could make out the rhythmic rustle and thud of legs feet pounding the dirt through the flora. I couldn't open my eyes though. What if it wasn't him? What if it was Jyn, or Asha, or someone else coming to look for me? What if...

An arm slid between me and the tree. Without even realising it was happening, my eyes opened, and I collapsed into the embrace. It was him. Looking up, waiting for my vision to clear, I saw him. He was heavily dishevelled, looking not unlike he'd just been spat from a sarlaac pit. But he was here. He was alive. He was back. I buried my face in his chest, fresh sobs of relief wracking my shoulders as he assured me he was home again. I wrapped both arms around him, holding him tightly. Never would I let him go, never again. Sheer relief washed over me, my heart pounding against my ribs. My legs trembled, threatening to give way beneath me. My mind whirled. I could still hardly believe it. He was back.

Then Ignis apologised.

It was like someone had thrown a switch. I had been so wrapped up in having him home, so completely and utterly relieved to have him back, that what he'd done to me by leaving had completely slipped my mind.

Until he apologised for it.

"Sorry?!" I murmured, the sound escaping my lips with a hiss of indignation before I could catch it. It was accompanied by a soft breath, the final gust of wind before the oncoming storm.

I pulled myself away from his embrace, the rage boiling up from within me. Every tear I'd shed by the lake, every restless moment I'd laid awake, every single moment from the day I'd found the note, I could feel them all building up within me, like a damn ready to burst. It had been agony to endure, and he had made me endure it. My eyes narrowed at him,

"You're sorry?!" I cried, "Sorry that you left... without so much as what amounts to a suicide note?! Sorry that you were gone for three whole weeks?! Sorry that you let me endure so much pain? I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD, YOU nerf herder!"

I hadn't even noticed my hand had shot out beside me, aimed up to the branches of the tree I was next to. My fingers curled, the sound of snapping twigs and creaking wood accompanied them. I shoved my arm down and in Ignis's direction.

A branch from the tree fell from the tree, hurtling towards him.

Oh no...

What had I just done?


[member="Ignis Imura"]

 

[Ignatius]

I could feel her emotions. Strong and so... loving. So caring. She dived deeply into the embrace I gave her. The embrace that I could hold onto for as long as I could. Her whimpers and shakes were so potent. I could barely contain myself. Yet, she changed. Her emotions changed. Her entire frame changed. The shivers stopped. The love she felt was ever so slipping away into anger and frustration. Her mumbled tone, repeating what I had spoken to her. She pushed me away. Simply standing there as she yelled at me. I could feel her anger. Her hate at my leaving. The way that I had left. It had... hurt her. Hurt the people I cared for.

There was more expected of me. I was expected to fill a role. I had failed to do so. I failed my Order, I failed my mentors, my students, and most of all, Sahna. I failed her. I left her when I should have given her the chance to understand what I was doing. Not letting my emotions take control. Not letting the hardhead of mine to determine the actions of many. I bowed my head low as she continued to yell at me. Calling me names that I so rightly deserved. I was guilty in the eyes of my peers.

That is when it hit me. Literally hit me.

A branch that Sahna had ripped from a tree, and hurled in my direction. I looked up barely in time to see that it smacked into my face and upper chest. The length of it sending me backwards and slamming into the base of the tree behind me. I grunted in pain. Looking up to the sky. The green leaves changing tints as they mocked my winded chest. I could barely breathe. My hand clutched my heart. Trying to ease the pain of not just my guilty heart, but my aching body.

Having already spent weeks without hardly anything to eat, battling a vision of my father, and then to come home and understand that what I did was selfish, hurt. It all hurt. I just sat there. Letting the tears fall down my face. No other sounds came from me. Holding a hand out to Sahna. Knowing that she would feel responsible for causing me pain, The stop motion was to keep her still. I stood up alone.

​"I failed you. I regret my decisions, and I am sorry. Either you accept it or not, I mean it."

Even if I had stood, I let my weak knees drop me back down to the ground. I was so numb. So... painless. I didn't feel anything as I hit the dirt. I thought that my decision would help. I thought she would be proud that I had accepted who I was. Accepting my fate and even attempting to change it for the better. Yet she didn't seem so. Feeling that... guilt. That pain. I didn't want to feel it, but I rightfully deserved it. I accepted the consequences. And accepted my loss.

[member="Sahna Te"],

 

[Valgærd]

What had I done?

The branch smacked Ignis square in the chest, sending him slamming into a tree. I gasped. My stomach dropped. As I watched him, as if in slow motion, the same branch seemed to hit me in the chest, pain lancing through my body. My heart stopped, my eyes were wide. All the rage and hatred that had been coursing through me like thick, black magma was instantly dissolved. The anger I'd so righteously felt was suddenly washed away, leaving only an aching emptiness.

He clutched at his chest, something that caused my feet to carry me a step forwards. But I faltered. He put up a hand, stopping me. I felt so awkward standing over him as he lay crumpled on the ground, crumpled where I'd shoved him. The man stood on his own as my cheeks burned with shame. He'd spoken, telling me that he deserved it. Maybe he had. At those words, a whisper of the agony returned, a mote of the emotion I'd felt. It agreed with him, reminding me why I had done what I'd done.

He stood, although he seemed unsteady on his feet. It was only now that I noticed how skinny he looked. His cheeks were gaunt, his eyes had dark shadows. His hair was a mess. Wherever he'd been, food and sleep had been in short supply. I had been... so caught up in my own anger, I hadn't even seen it. Without really knowing how he'd react to the girl who'd just thrown half a tree at him running at full speed, I rushed for him.

I wrapped both arms around his shoulders, seeking to support him as he didn't look completely capable of doing so himself.

"Oh Ignis!" I replied breathlessly, my own chest heaving with the effort I'd exerted. "Sit down, let me look at your chest. I... shouldn't have been so brash."

I paused, hoping the silence would cause him to turn to me so my eyes would meet his,

"I don't even care what you deserved, it's just good to have you back."

And there they were, the most truthful words I'd spoken all day.

[member="Ignis Imura"]

 

[Ignatius]

"Gently."

That was about all I could say when Sahna rushed over to me. Her weight and frame slamming into me for a second time within five minutes. She fussed over me and was attempting to get me to show her that I was alright. While she attempted to place a hand on me. Her hand pressing against the center of my chest felt... weird at first. As though someone was trying to feel for my barely beating heart. It soon became almost soothing as she was telling me she didn't care if I deserved it, she was glad I was back.

I had taken my hand and wrapped it around her shoulder. My other hand holding her face gently as the dried tears still left a slight mark upon her face. Leaving a slightly darker orange tint in it's wake. I leaned over to her and kissed her forehead. Softly speaking to her.

"I will be fine. You have no reason look at my chest. Its nothing I haven't dealt with before."

In truth, I had dealt with worse. Literally falling down a mountain side. Dislocating my shoulder, burning up inside a volcano, and even having been shot at. I think I can deal with a little bruise on my chest and getting the wind knocked from my lungs. I just knelt there and slowly breathed as Sahna was next to me.

"I am sorry Sahna."

Letting my head fall to my chest once more, it still hurt that I had done this to her. Even if she was fretting over hurting me, I still left. I made the choice to leave a note, and to accept my death. When I should fight for it. To not accept it and to not give in like I heard within the caves.

[member="Sahna Te"],

 

[Valgærd]

I immediately slowed down.

In the rush to tend to Ignis, his words reminded me that I might have been going a little rough, so at his word, my hands calmed down. His arm slid around my shoulders as I held his chest, looking over him frantically for any sign that I'd seriously hurt him. But at the same time, I felt his hand on my face, and he leaned over to kiss my forehead. His soft words rang in my ears as the chaos from my outburst subsided.

Outburst... that's exactly what it was.

I had completely lost control of myself, hurling a tree branch at the one man whose loss I was mourning. What was wrong with me? My cheeks began to burn as I felt the shame from what I'd done creep onto my face.

"I... shouldn't have done that." I murmured, shifting myself to stand on my knees beside him.

He spoke, another apology. At those words, I wrapped both arms around him, pulling him towards me and resting my chin on his crown. It was not unlike the way he would envelop me in a hug when I needed one. Although, honestly I wasn't sure which of us needed it more. As the silence fell around us, the sound of the jungle once again swept into the vacuum; the rustling of the breeze through the trees, the calls from the wildlife, the trickle of water by the lake.

It all seemed to be saying one thing: everything was alright now. Here we were, once again in one another's arms. Aurum still spun, life still went on. We could both be sorry as much as we wanted, but at the end of the day, we were both here, both alive, both safe.

I drew in a deep breath, letting it out as a sigh that ruffled a little of his hair,

"Come on," I began softly, "let's go. We both could use some hot food, and honestly I'm just glad you're back."


[member="Ignis Imura"]

 

[Ignatius]

Her frame slowed down after crashing into me. She began to hug me after I once more said that I was sorry. Her emotions were wild right now. I could feel them even as I kind of just knelt there. Not really returning the hug she gave me. I felt like I didn't deserve her anymore. My failure to her, was a reason why I needed to prove to her. To work harder for her. She was my friend, and I let her down. Leaving only hurt her. Not help her accept what had happened.

"I won't leave you again."

That was all I could say before she told me to come with her. She was glad that I was back. Maybe. I was not sure if I was though. I had hurt her. Knowing I had, knowing that I had cause her to feel this way hurt me on a level that I didn't think I had. My entire life, I was the one who felt betrayed. The one who was always being left behind. This time, I was the one who left her behind. I felt sick to my stomach from it. I didn't want to eat if I felt this way. Shaking my head, I reached my arms around her and just held her.

Staying still without speaking. Just holding onto the one person who I felt like I could share these emotions with. The one person who I have been growing to trust. I calmed myself while I just held onto her. Preventing her and myself from moving anywhere. I just wanted the rest of the world and the galaxy to fall away so I could hold onto her as long as I could.

However, I simply spoke in a whisper.

"Not hungry. I just want to stay here. With you.... if you don't mind."

[member="Sahna Te"],

 

[Valgærd]

We kneeled in the grass for what felt like forever, just holding each other. Ignis told me he wouldn’t leave again. Even though I wasn’t reaching out through the force, I found myself believing his words without question. Perhaps it was the way he’d said those few words, softly, but with conviction. It was a promise, not one made with fanfare and grandeur, but one that came straight from the heart, one that was more precious to me than anything.

His hair felt soft.

The sensation of feeling it under my fingertips drew my attention to the fact that I had begun to stroke it gently, comfortingly. There were no words, but I felt that the gesture said all that needed to be said,

It’s okay, I forgive you.

Ignis spoke softly, whispering that he wasn’t hungry, that he just wanted to stay here. I shifted my head, moving to kiss his cheek softly. At his words I’d felt a gentle wave of relief overtake me. The serenity of this place, having Ignis back home, I didn’t want to leave either. Is this… is this what it feels like to have everything you ever wanted?

“Of course,” I murmured in reply, keeping my voice low so I didn’t disturb the peace, “we can stay as long as you want.”

I let out a sigh of… what I can only describe as pure bliss. My arms around him tightened, my head lowering to rest on his shoulder. The sun was beginning to dip in the horizon, the air cooling. Soon the stars would come out.

I hadn’t really seen the stars until after I’d left Nar Shaddaa. When I had, they had been nothing to me but tiny dots in the sky. I had never understood the meaning many people seemed to assign to them.

But as I held onto the one man I thought I’d lost, sitting peacefully in my sanctuary, it all fell into place.

For once, for me, the stars had come out.

[member="Ignis Imura"]

 

[Ignatius]

Her hand running through my hair. I felt like a child once more. A little one running around and being consoled by my mother. She used to run her hand through my long hair as a kid. Keeping me calm when I had gotten home from my "sessions" with Nick. My fat-no. My uncle had been rather tough on me, and at first I was quite the emotional one. I hated it now. I felt as though showing these emotions were a weakness. I hid it from everyone. Sure people could possibly feel my rage and my hate, or when I may have been happy, but not this. Not my sadness, my sorrow. Sahna's lips came to kiss my cheek. I felt... calm.

For the first time... ever. I felt completely at peace. Knowing that my father, Morna, was actually a person who wanted me to grow and become stronger for our family. Knowing that I had Sahna by my side as a friend and student. And Jyn, and Asha for supporting me within the Je'daii order. Emberfall for my ever growing skills in the forge.

Slowly separating from her for a moment, I wanted to speak my mind.

"I am done. Playing these games between us, and just beating around the bush. Sahna. I..."

I breathed in. I almost didn't want to say it for fear of scaring her. For putting her through so much stress these past few weeks. However, I had to say this now. If I didn't, I felt as though my body would burst from keeping it in.

"I'm falling for you. I feel something between us that I can't deny anymore. I... don't really know how to say this, but I want to be with you. Only you."

I had never done this before. Never really understood the idea of compassion in this form. I looked directly at her as the words just spilled out. Coming further and further and just digging myself deeper into a hole I am not sure if I want to be in or not.

"It's hard to put this into just simple words, but I want you part of my life. More so than just a friend. Dating and all is fine, but... I don't feel like that's the right term. I just want you to be by my side, and I yours."

[member="Sahna Te"],

 

[Valgærd]

I felt Ignis pull away from me for a moment. I lowered my arms, giving him the space to move away so we could look into one another’s eyes. I felt… something shift within him. It as if he’d been falling, perhaps we both had, but now he’d planted his feet on the ground. Sensing the seriousness before he opened his mouth, I pursed my lips, preparing for whatever he might say.

He was done playing games, ‘beating around the bush’. My heart stopped in my chest. He paused to take a breath. I found myself unable to do the same, my lungs refusing to draw in a breath. Time seemed to hang as I waited for him to go on. Done? Was he done with me? I knew that wasn’t the case. I knew what was likely coming next, and yet… I couldn’t let my mind calm. It insisted on derailing into turmoil to fill the void between Ignis’s words.

Then he said it.

I’m falling for you

Those words rang in my ear, the stars themselves seeming to sing the echo as the night continued to descend upon us. My still heart leapt in pure joy, my lungs suddenly released a sigh. He kept going, his every word adding to the building anticipation. I wanted to reach out through the force, to feel what he was feeling as he spoke, but I resisted. I could barely contain my own emotions. A river seemed to be raging through me, a torrent of emotions threatening to spill over. I bit my lip to hold them back, so I wouldn't overwhelm or frighten him with my response.

But as I spoke, it all came out in an excited gasp,

"Ignis, I'm falling for--no," I placed both hands on his chin, not entirely sure of what caused me to do so, "I fell for you, too. Hard. I can think of no better place than by your side, and have you by mine."

Without fully comprehending what I was doing, I leaned forward, closed my eyes, and pressed my lips against his.

[member="Ignis Imura"]

 

[Ignatius]

I poured my heart out to her. I couldn't have it any other way. It seemed to be an eternity before she answered. My mind racing. Dreading almost the thought of her saying no or just simply turning around and walking away from me. However, I was even more surprised by her answer. She placed her hands on my cheeks. I could feel her hands slightly trembling in her actions as though this was her true feelings. I didn't have to sense her in the force to tell that she was telling the truth. I didn't have to ask her how she felt. She then returned her heart to me.

Pouring out her own emotions. Telling me that she was also falling for me. That she already had. Even saying that there was no better place than at each other's sides. I started to smile a bit at her words when she closed her eyes and pushed her lips onto mine.

Completely surprised at first, I had not expected this shy girl that I once knew, who could barely speak above a whisper, to quite literally, throw herself and expose her self to me in this way. Yet, I couldn't feel anything more than this was appropriate. I wrapped my arms around her side and pulled her closer to me as I drew deeply into the kiss that she gave me. I returned to her. Holding our lips locked. Tasting her, Her person, her essence. All of who she was.

Her.

I held her close to me and tightly as I kissed back. Feeling my heart jumping and pumping faster. It started to skip beats as I tilted my head to press deeper into her. I relished the feeling, I longed for this to continue, and didn't want to break it.

[member="Sahna Te"],

 

[Valgærd]

My mind still hadn't caught up.

In fact, as I pressed my lips into his, fingers gently pulling his face close to mine, my every thought seemed to melt away. It was like a sudden explosion of fireworks, banishing all my thoughts and fears. Nothing the world existed except for him. Nothing could harm me, nothing could touch me. It was... magic. My heart was racing in my chest, hammering wildly against my ribs. I felt his arms close in around me, holding me tight.

He kissed me back, pushing his lips against mine. The butterflies that had sprung to life in my belly seemed to explode, shooting through my whole body as I felt his embrace all around me. Never had I imagined I could be so at peace, and yet so invigorated at the same time. I could feel nothing except Ignis's lips on mine, his arms around me. It felt like forever passed as we simply remained, kneeling in the grass. The galaxy could fade away for all I cared, right now I had everything I ever wanted.

After several more moments, I pulled away from him, breaking the kiss. I just wanted to stare into those deep, piercing eyes once again. They were bright, yellow with force corruption. Oh I could lose myself in that gaze. Time seemed to stop having meaning, I didn't know if I stared into those eyes for a moment or for hours. I drew a breath to speak, but could only let it out in a soft sigh, my own voice seemingly unwilling to break the silence around us. I moved my hands down from his face to rest on his chest and shoulder, keeping my body close to his.

I tried again, speaking softly, whispering, as if anything louder than that would break whatever spell had been cast over this place, over us,

"Ignis... I am so glad you're home."

My voice was hushed, but my tone seemed to ring with sincerity. This was his home, now. Just as it was mine. We belong here, together. There was just... one more thing.

"Next time, you're taking me with you, okay?"

It sounded strange, felt strange, making a statement like that. Never had I been so certain in my words. But at the same time... it felt, natural.

[member="Ignis Imura"]

 

[Ignatius]

The feeling of elation was welcoming. It was a feeling that I never really had before. I reveled in it. I wanted to feel more of it. However, Sahna fell away from me. Breaking off the kiss. I was almost breathing heavily as she spoke in a soft tone. One that she kept in reverence of this time and place. Her voice once more telling me that she was glad I came back. That I was home. Nodding my head to her, I also agreed with her next statement. She too, was not a child. She deserved the right to leave Aurum just as much as I did. She was the one person who could very easily keep up with myself. Even be that as it may, I still worried for her that she would be injured, or worse.

I gently pressed my forehead onto hers. Just holding her there as I responded.

"Okay. I will take you with me."

Leaning up to kiss her forehead I then held her tightly. Not really wanting to let go. Not wanting to move on from this spot. However, we had to at some point. That is when I got a bearing of myself. Seeing the area around me, this place was different than other places I have seen. I didn't pay attention to it when I was rushing over here, but I did now. I looked around for a moment, then returned my attention to Sahna.

"Is this where you come to meditate?"

[member="Sahna Te"],

 

[Valgærd]

Ignis pressed his forehead against mine.

I closed my eyes, leaning against him. The sky grew yet darker, and the air yet cooler. The edge of the lake gently lapped at the shore nearby. He spoke softly, promising to take me with him. My heart soared. It was not only because of his promise, but the place it came from. I was beginning to realise why he had left without me. He had never meant to hurt me, in fact, it was quite the opposite. He wanted to protect me. Aurum was safe, peaceful, free. Here, he could go and do what he needed to do without having to worry about what might happen to me.

I remembered our first trip together, sent to collect the holocrons. I'd been so timid, so frightened of everything, so unsure of myself. Was the the kind of girl that inspired confidence? No wonder he saw to leave me here. Although my eyes were already closed, I found myself squeezing them a little tighter, pressing my forehead just a little harder against his, sending my thoughts to him. I wasn't completely sure what he'd receive, but I wanted him to know.

I understood now.

He pulled away and kissed my forehead, asking me a question. I glanced around, opening my eyes and staring out at the lake.

"Sometimes," I replied, "sometimes just to be alone. Originally... I came here to hide. You know, I wanted to bring you here on a picnic. I was going to make sandwiches and everything."

I chuckled, thinking back to how excited I'd been at the idea. Cucumber sandwiches, who would have thought that they would be so good.

"Jyn taught me how to make some really nice ones."

I gazed out at the lake, glistening in the fading light. I doubted Ignis would know that the smile I was failing to smother was at the thought of shoving him into the cool water, probably following myself.

I bet he'd have squealed like a girl.

[member="Ignis Imura"]

 

[Ignatius]

Sahna gazed out at the lake that was off a bit from us. Just staying here, I kept her with me as she spoke. Talking of coming here to get away, as well as meditate, but then thought about having a picnic. I smiled a bit at that. I never had one of those as a child. The chance never came up with the kind of life I was forced to live. She smiled a little as her eyes were upon the lake. I pushed her up away from me just a bit and nodded my head with a smile.

"Well are you going to invite your guest in, or leave him out in this jungle?"

Merely as a joke towards her, I began to stand up. Almost falling over as I felt the pain from getting hit by the tree once more. Oohing at the pain and feeling the tendons in my arms and legs stretching to accommodate new movement. I groaned a little as I walked inward towards the shore of this lake. Taking careful steps as I reached out with my hand towards Sahna. Right now, I wanted to hold her hand. To physically let her know that I was still here, and that I was no illusion of the mind or the broken heart that I had given her.

"We should have a picnic here sometime. It would be nice to have one with you."

Why not give into this? Why not work with her on making our shared dreams, a reality. To spend time together. Not as friends, but as something more.

[member="Sahna Te"],

 

[Valgærd]

I could have stayed out here all night.

But as the stars glowed in the sky, Ignis pushed on me a little, indicating I should stand. I did, turning to watch as he pulled himself up to his feet as well. He joked about being left out in the jungle all night, as opposed to being invited in. I winked at him, giggling a little myself as I shrugged one shoulder,

"I don't think I've decided yet," I teased, pausing for just a few moments before stepping back and smiling, "Come on, you. I'm not letting you out of my sight for some time, yet."

Ignis stood to his feet... and immediately buckled a little as no doubt the pain of his encounter with the tree came back to him. I cringed, biting back the urge to rush and help. As much as I yearned to sate this guilt in my gut by helping him stand, I respected him. I knew he was fine. It was about time I started showing him a little of the trust I had asked him to place in me. So I simply waited for him to recover and stand.

He stepped towards me and took my hand. My fingers naturally curled around his, my body naturally tucking in next to him, under his shoulder. His touch felt... reassuring. It was as if any doubts that I might have had, any niggling fears that this was all some beautiful, torturous dream, all melted away. I let out a sigh as I leaned my head against him, beginning to walk along the river bank towards the city.

"We should." I agreed quietly.

The smile still hadn't left my face. I still felt guilty about the tree, and there was still three weeks worth of heartache I had to get over, but right now, I had everything in the whole galaxy that I could ever want.

"Come on, my room isn't far. It's not terribly much, but you'll be able to have a hot shower while I fix us something to eat."

I tightened my hand on his as I spoke, reaching out through the force to touch his mind. I wanted him to know that as gentle as I sounded, and as weak as I was, this was not an invitation.

[member="Ignis Imura"]

 

[Ignatius]

Sahna held upon my hand. She squeezed it as though I would leave her. I could still feel the guilt from her about the whole incident, but I too, was guilty. I had left her in the dark when I should not have. I left her when I should have had her by my side, or stayed here with her. Her soft skin felt good within my hand as she and I took a few steps onward. Apparently, she was also not letting me out of her sight. I had a feeling that would be the case. With how close we had become, it seemed only right that she would want to watch over me, to protect me when in all truth, she is the one who needed protecting. She grew closer to me. Having her shoulder lean against my upper arm. While she pushed to dig the bone into my arm, I didn't mind or move her away from me. She deserved to have me here and not leaving her sight.

With that in mind, she reached out and touched my own. Her mind telling me that what she said was not a question, or an invite. It was a direct command. For me to join her in her room. I breathed deeply in. Looking at her with a smirk as we walked. I had a little of a limp just from being so tired, and then getting hit with a literal tree, but I tried to play it off the best I could. Sighing slightly with a smirk, I nodded my head a couple times before kissing her forehead.

"Alright. We can go to your room so you can baby me into taking a shower."

Indicating for us to move on, I was serious even if the words were jabbing fun at her. I was fine with it. Nothing wrong with a nice hot shower, some food, and rest. All of that would go a long way into bringing my spirits up and getting me back on track. Still holding onto her hand, I picked up my hand, and swung our connected hands in front of her. Letting my arm wrap around her side, while she could continue to hold my hand. Walking like this kept us closer to one another, but also allowed me to lean just a tad bit on her.

Win-Win I guess.

[member="Sahna Te"],