First Reply Beckoned by the Desert Winds

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Outfit | Lightsaber
Tag: Open to a Jedi

In a rare moment of wisdom, Gatz had chosen meditate on the dunes of Jakku at dusk.

The heat of the day tried to remain, but with every gust of wind the temperature dropped. It Jakku was anything like Tatooine then the desert would quickly drop to freezing once the sands relinquished their hold on the sun's warmth. For Gatz—who was used to either the temperate climate of Naboo, or the cold from the vastness of space—that was a blessing. Why anyone would set up shop on desert world he would never understand.

He supposed Jedi could learn much in the way of survival training here, but beyond that, Gatz couldn't gleam why the Order would establish an Enclave on Jakku of all places.

But, maybe he wasn't meant to know. Or maybe the answer was simply beyond his understanding. Plus, who was he to question Romi Jade?

Frankly, figuring out why the enclave was here of all places was at the bottom of his list of things to do. More important was figuring out why he was here. Why had he been beckoned, like a siren's call luring him in? Why was it that being here—on the dunes just above the underground Enclave—felt right? The tour Lily Decoria had given him had been immensely helpful, and had helped him orientate himself, but it still hadn't answered any of the questions that whirled about in his mind.

And as nice as the chill, desert wind felt on his face, delving into the Force for answers wasn't accomplishing anything for him either. A shame. Gatz had hoped that quieting his mind out here, where he was free from distraction and the hubbub from the Jedi below, would give him something. But, much like with most of his attempts to meditate, it was rapidly becoming clear that it was a fruitless endeavor.

"Why?" Gatz asked the desert winds, as if they were withholding the answer, "if not for Lossa or Briana, then why am I here? Why now? Why would the Force bring me here when there's a war to prepare for?"

 

[Romi Jade]

JAKKU JEDI ENCLAVE

"Why?" Gatz asked the desert winds, as if they were withholding the answer, "if not for Lossa or Briana, then why am I here? Why now? Why would the Force bring me here when there's a war to prepare for?"

"I had that same question..." she said walking up from afar as she had silently began to climbe the dune, her boots sinking into the shifting sands with each step.

She had emerged from the mouth of the Subterranean Enclave a bit ago, the cool, musty air of the hidden refuge replaced by the harsh, dry heat of the desert. She paused, allowing her eyes to adjust to the vast, barren landscape spread out before her, an unending sea of sand marked only by the occasional wreckage of long-forgotten ships and the skeletal remains of ancient creatures.

She'd simply wanted to savor the rare taste of unfiltered air -- something fresher than below.

Then she saw him at the crest of the dune.

Romi moved closer, "Even to this day..."

Gatz Derrevar

---
​

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Outfit | Lightsaber
Tag: Romi Jade

The voice behind him surprised Gatz, but he supposed it shouldn't have. The enclave was home to more than a few Jedi. The sight of just who had joined him was far more surprising, even though that shouldn't have been either. Why wouldn't Romi Jade be at her own enclave, after all?

But when Gatz looked at the legendary Jedi Master, he perceived her not through his own eyes and experiences, but through that of Briana Sal-Soren , and the fragmented collection of her memories and feelings that had been imparted to him during their time as brain buddies—faded and not nearly as clear as they used to be, but not yet gone entirely.

And so Romi Jade didn't feel like some legendary, unapproachable figure, but like an old teacher, and a mentor he could turn to.

Still, to Romi he was a stranger. Perhaps one that was welcome at her place of learning, but it was best not to act too familiar with her.

"Master Jade," Gatz bowed his head in deference, "I'd ask you to join me, but seeing as this is your enclave, I don't think you need an invitation."

As far as jokes went, that wasn't the best he'd ever churned out. But Gatz had a lot on his mind, and rather thought he should be cut some slack for faltering in the humor department. Even he couldn't make light of every situation.

 

[Romi Jade]

JAKKU JEDI ENCLAVE

Heh

"Well an invitation would still be nice--probably necessary since I pretty much interrupted you. I'm sorry about that." She responded, taking a step forward, the sand crunching softly beneath her feet.

"I stepped out for a second and overheard you while pacing around, I shouldn't have dropped in on you like that -- but your question is one I've had myself." Romi nodded, her expression somber.

She remembered the early days of her own training, the endless questions and the search amidst the chaos of a galaxy in turmoil. She knew all too well the burden of unanswered questions and the relentless quest for purpose and intention.

Romi sat down beside him, the sand cool yet warm in a sense beneath her. "The Force moves in mysterious ways doesn't it? They definitely weren't lying about that part." she chortled to herself before letting go a mild grunt as she took to the sand beneath her; she was sore and still recovering.

"You're a friend of Briana and Lossa, no?" she asked as she pulled her hood up and over. "And your name?"

Gatz Derrevar

---
​

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Outfit | Lightsaber
Tag: Romi Jade

"No apologies necessary, Master," Gatz shook his head, "please, join me. Honestly, I could probably use a little guidance right now."

He needed it right now, the day before, probably the day after—all the time, really. Valery Noble had called him a senior Padawan, who was probably already undertaking his trials without knowing it, but he didn't feel like he was ready to be a Jedi Knight. Prowess with a lightsaber aside, Gatz felt as though he was lacking in most departments related to being a Jedi—and wisdom was most certainly one of those departments.

Gatz pulled his hood off of his head. With the last peek of Jakku's sun dipping below the horizon, the desert was cast in dark hues, and he no longer needed it to protect his skin from burns. It was funny: he'd told Lily to invest in sunscreen, but if he was going to stay here for awhile, then he ought to take his own advice. And maybe request one of those ponchos the Jakku Jedi wore. His robes wouldn't cut it if he had to actually venture out into the desert.

"The Force is mysterious indeed," Gatz agreed, "frustratingly so. Almost makes me wish I didn't have to feel its ebb and flow... but at the same time, I'd feel empty without it."

"You're a friend of Briana and Lossa, no?" she asked as she pulled her hood up and over. "And your name?"

"I am," Gatz smiled at the mere mention of their names, fond as he was of the both of them, "Gatz Derrevar, Jedi Padawan. It's an honor to meet you, Master Jade."

 

[Romi Jade]

JAKKU JEDI ENCLAVE

"Well it's nice to meet you Gatz, Briana Sal-Soren and Lossa Aureus are two of the best students I've ever trained -- they're like daughters to me. A friend of their's is a friend of mine." She lowered her head in respect. "I'm honored."

She had many students and mentees over the years, directly and indirectly, regardless she always considered them hers. She pushed them all hard, believing the road to impact wasn't beyond any of them. The most she felt she could do was prepare them for anything. Kaleleon was another of hers, when she met him he had so much potential but was in some ways so new and innocent to this chaotic galaxy. Now, she knows he's capable and can forge his own path....that's what any master would want.

"The Force is mysterious indeed," Gatz agreed, "frustratingly so. Almost makes me wish I didn't have to feel its ebb and flow... but at the same time, I'd feel empty without it."

"It has a way of doing that doesn't it?" She responded. She threw her gaze out to the dunes, "At first glance, it's such a distant and relatively worthless planet; I definitely thought so at first...but there's something more to Jakku. Eons ago, this place was covered with green vegetation...and even oceans. Could you imagine?"

"Then at some unknown point, the planet was reduced to a barren desert wasteland, and there's something about the way the Force interacts with places that experience significant loss, especially when more loss is on the horizon...places like this calls to people."

Gatz Derrevar

---
​

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Outfit | Lightsaber
Tag: Romi Jade

"I'm honored."

"Oh man, if you feel that way, then the girls haven't told you the first thing about me."

But Gatz smiled at the joke he'd told at his own expense. Because, truth be told... he couldn't exactly imagine Lossa or Briana lambasting him to Master Jade, even if he thought they ought to. They'd shown him too much kindness, offered too much in the way of friendship to suddenly flip on a dime and talk trash about him.

He still thought that they ought to, but he loved them all that much more because they didn't.

Master Jade went on to describe Jakku in a distant, ancient past, and Gatz turned his attention to her. He really couldn't imagine what Jakku would have looked like, covered in flora and fauna, with beautiful blue oceans. Every time he tried, he just pictured Naboo instead. But it must have been like that, once, if Romi was telling him it had been.

A beautiful world, lush and thriving, now reduced to... this.

Loss.

The word only left Master Jade's lips twice, and yet it resonated within Gatz. His father, his mother, his uncle, his home... he'd lost so much that he didn't know what he had left. He'd lost so much that even Naboo, where he'd been born and raised, was nothing more than another strange world to him—devoid of the ties that had once connected him to it.

"I've lost everything." Gatz admitted, "my family, my home. Everyone who ever loved me. Maybe you're right. Maybe that's the call I'm hearing: Jakku lamenting over all it's lost, just as I have."

 

[Romi Jade]

JAKKU JEDI ENCLAVE

"They haven't said a thing, maybe that's for the better." She chortled to herself.

She didn't need to know any of the details, but she definitely wouldn't expect either of the ladies to tell her any dirt; it wasn't like them anyway. For now she saw Gatz as the innocent he was, an impression she'd leave here with. He was good company.

"I've lost everything." Gatz admitted, "my family, my home. Everyone who ever loved me. Maybe you're right. Maybe that's the call I'm hearing: Jakku lamenting over all it's lost, just as I have."

"I'm sorry to hear that, truly." She responded with a somber undertone. Romi placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Though, it's certainly a theory to start with. If you can attune yourself just enough, you'll start to feel the discreetly dark, not evil, vibration Jakku has. There's a lot to be gleaned from a vergence like that. And, they can occur anywhere, be as big as a planet, and often occur in places with weighty histories and great importance to the wider galaxy, and they aren't confined to the bounds of time and space." She continued.

"Who's to say, it certainly could be tugging on shared loss and calling to you. One may never know."

A beat.

"People wonder why an Enclave was put here, if not now, perhaps if you spend a bit of time here, you'll come to see how significant this planet truly is, not just in relation to the training done here, but in understanding more about how the Force works." She continued, "You're already on the right path, you're asking questions and seeking answers, most don't make it that far."

Gatz Derrevar

---
​

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Outfit | Lightsaber
Tag: Romi Jade

"I'm sorry to hear that, truly." She responded with a somber undertone. Romi placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

The hand on his shoulder grounded him, and Gatz found enough strength in the way Romi anchored him to breathe in deeply... and let go of the misery with a long sigh. He'd always miss them. He thought he'd always mourn them. And Gatz knew there would still be days where the hole they'd left behind in his breast debilitated him.

But, today, he could endure it. Stranger or not, Master Jade was sitting next to him, and so he wasn't alone.

"There is no Death; There is the Force." Gatz echoed quietly, "right?"

The Code had never been a source of strength for him. Gatz found meaning in The Jedi Way through righteous action, not philosophy. But even he could see the wisdom in the old religion, agnostic as he might have seemed at times.

"Though, it's certainly a theory to start with. If you can attune yourself just enough, you'll start to feel the discreetly dark, not evil, vibration Jakku has. There's a lot to be gleaned from a vergence like that. And, they can occur anywhere, be as big as a planet, and often occur in places with weighty histories and great importance to the wider galaxy, and they aren't confined to the bounds of time and space."

Master Jade left him with a lot to think on. Attuning himself to a whole world, and its energy? It's very presence in the field that bound all things together? It wasn't something Gatz had ever attempted, or even been instructed on. He'd found himself attuned to the Force—and his immediate surroundings—of course, but the vibration of a whole planetary body was beyond what he'd ever attempted before.

But what was the point in coming to the Jakku Jedi Enclave if not to learn? Romi herself just told him that by seeking the answers to his questions, he had already found himself on the right path.

"Can you teach me how to do this?" Gatz asked, turning to face her, "to... attune myself to Jakku itself, as you're describing?"

 

[Romi Jade]

JAKKU JEDI ENCLAVE

"There is no Death; There is the Force." Gatz echoed quietly, "right?"

She nodded, "That is how the saying goes," She agreed, "Yes."

When he asked to be taught further, Romi shifted slightly, turning to face Gatz with a thoughtful expression -- "Well, speaking of..." as she thought back to his relay of parts of the code. "I think first you have to go into it with the perspective that this planet is a world both vibrant and venomous, its actually a burial ground when you strip it down, think of all the life lost here, over eons. That's why its power is subtle, dark, and elusive....it sits just beyond the surface of our perception."

"It's not something to be grasped. It's something to be embraced, to be allowed to flow through you." She responded. "Close your eyes, I know, it sounds like every other mystifying lesson right? But just trust me." she instructed softly.

"Feel the sand beneath your soles, the wind on your skin, open yourself to the ebb and flow of the energy that surrounds us unabated. Now cast your perception outward in every direction, stretch it as far as you can across the dunes....and when you've gone as far as you can, reel it back in...shrug it on like a well worn cloak."

"Look for the sensations of the desert as they become more pronounced: the gritty texture of the sand, the coolness of the evening breeze, the faint hum of life and life lost hidden beneath the barren surface."

A beat.

"Listen," Romi continued, her voice a calm, and nearing a whisper "It's always speaking, albeit subtly. Clear your mind and open yourself to its whispers."

Gatz Derrevar

---
​

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Outfit | Lightsaber
Tag: Romi Jade

"I think first you have to go into it with the perspective that this planet is a world both vibrant and venomous, its actually a burial ground when you strip it down, think of all the life lost here, over eons. That's why its power is subtle, dark, and elusive....it sits just beyond the surface of our perception."

It was a dead world. Or, perhaps, a dying world still in its last throes of life. Gatz had always struggled with this; with concepts over real, tangible things. So when Master Jade bid him to close his eyes and trust her, he did so, but he was already struggling to understand the lesson.

"I'll admit: it does sound like the typical, frustrating Jedi mysticism." Gatz chortled, "but I asked for the lesson. I won't complain."

But he knew Briana valued Romi, perhaps more than any teacher she'd had. And Gatz valued Briana's insight, perhaps more than any Jedi he knew. Between his absolute trust in Rich Girl, and the fact that it was freakin' Romi Jade instructing him, Gatz figured the Jedi Master would lead him to understanding eventually.

Gatz drew in a deep breath, and let himself be immersed in the Force once more. Romi was the brightest life he felt, though she seemed... somehow dimmer than he thought she'd be. Still, she was the beacon of a lighthouse compared to the Jedi below—but no, that wasn't quite right either. Because he could feel Lossa Aureus , like a warm flame, controlled but capable of flaring. Lily Decoria , a pale beam of light, bright and energetic. Briana Sal-Soren , radiant in all her majesty, as luminous as Jakku's sun.

To say that Romi was the brightest was to discredit her students, and those her students had passed her knowledge onto.

As drawn as he was to his friends, however, Master Jade's lesson reached beyond them. To encapsulate an entire world with his limited focus was no small task, but Romi's guidance made the journey easier. He had felt Jakku's wind, but hadn't known what it was like to be one with it—to be carried along its current, spiraling across the sands. He'd known the texture of the sand, but not the rock it had eroded from, blown a million, million miles away from where it had originally formed.

But it was the life he felt—buried deep below where the harsh heat couldn't reach it, surfacing now that the cool night was upon them—that made him gasp. It was like a heartbeat, faint, slow, but there. It lived in the shadows, a thing of decay, and yet somehow fed new life. And that life made it's home amongst the desert winds, and its sands. Lived, died, and fed new life.

That was what all living things here did: burned like Jakku's day in life, froze like Jakku's night in death. Then the cycle repeated.

"It's always speaking, albeit subtly. Clear your mind and open yourself to its whispers."

"What..." Gatz gasped, almost afraid of his new understanding, "what am I going to hear?"

 

[Romi Jade]

JAKKU JEDI ENCLAVE

"What..." Gatz gasped, almost afraid of his new understanding, "what am I going to hear?"

She quickly glanced over at Gatz, smiling as if she was purposefully withholding information -- though she honestly really didn't know. This was as far as she could walk with him, only because the space magic really did work in mysterious ways, and they all experienced it differently. Her ancestor Avar Kriss experienced the Force as music, hearing the song of life and death and able to sing to it in return.

Romi never experienced such...and she found that through training students, specifically on Jakku, that they all experienced it's whispers differently.

"What you hear will be entirely unique to you...now would be a good time to test your theory." She responded.

She hated the mystifying aspects of Jedi lessons too, its why her entire training philosophy was straightforward in its approach, but there were some elements of the Force where you couldn't avoid mysticism.

"This is as far down this path that I can take you, what you end up finding is going to be on you. What do you hear?"

Gatz Derrevar

---
​

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Outfit | Lightsaber
Tag: Romi Jade

Yeah... Gatz had kind of expected Romi's answer. There were some things that simply couldn't be explained. As much as that frustrated him, it was a simple truth he'd quickly acclimated to after returning to the Order. Some lessons couldn't be taught, but had to be experienced. What he was doing now, feeling this cold and dark cycle of life and death, was not something he could have ever understood if Romi had simply told him of it.

To feel the heartbeat of an entire world, weak though it may be... well, that too had to be experienced first hand.

"This is as far down this path that I can take you, what you end up finding is going to be on you. What do you hear?"

Gatz was quite for a moment, as he let his senses drift away from the distractions of the wind, sand, and the life below. He felt for that heartbeat, pumping so slowly that it might not be pumping at all, and listened for the sound that accompanied each beat: an empty echo, that reverberated within Jakku as if the world was hollow beneath the sand.

Hollow, like the void in his chest that his family had left behind.

"It sounds like grief," Gatz said quietly, "I hear it in Jakku. I hear it in you. I hear it in Briana and Lossa below. And... I hear it in me."

He let out a heavy breath, eyes opening to let quiet tears trail down his cheeks.

"I never let myself grieve." He understood at last, "I... I didn't know how to. I didn't feel like I had anyone to turn to. So I just carried on, dragging the pain behind me, hoping I could outrun it. But no matter where I go, it's still there, charting my path through the sands."

The tears fell faster, and yet, Gatz felt as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He felt whole, even as his grief enveloped him at long last, puffing eyes red. He felt as though he'd been set free, at long last.

 

[Romi Jade]

JAKKU JEDI ENCLAVE

​

"It sounds like grief," Gatz said quietly, "I hear it in Jakku. I hear it in you. I hear it in Briana and Lossa below. And... I hear it in me."

Speechless. She had no words for the moment -- she was grieving. She was grieving the lost of her husband, the loss of their family, the loss of her identity. Though, perhaps that was Jakku's plan all along, calling to those struck or to be struck by grief. Maybe it's echo all along was grief...

His perception was superb, to be able to attune so quickly is one thing, but perceiving and understanding the way of vergences and their connection to us was tiers above most Padawan. That let her know he had potential to be something great.

She glanced over at the revelation only to witness him shedding tears, but she didn't need to the Force to know that these were breakthrough tears. Then, there was that reassuring hand on his shoulder again.

"You've only been here, what? A day? And you've already been brought to tears Gatz," She said in jest, laughing to herself. "You did good, way better than most. You've a thing for attunement, that's special. Connecting to and understanding vergences is beyond most Jedi. Some study them for years...most never even hear a call, or anything."

A beat.

"Another lesson from me though, become familiar with grieving. You're going to experience a lot of loss as a Jedi, literally and figuratively, if that's a path you continue to pursue. Just never forget the human parts of you, you'll need them."

​

Gatz Derrevar

---
​

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Outfit | Lightsaber
Tag: Romi Jade

It hurt, to feel Jakku itself grieving the life it had lost. It hurt to feel his own grief, leaving wet tracks down his face. But it felt good too, despite the pain. Months of repressed feelings surged to the surface, and poured from him in quiet, salty tears. Grief, anger, sorrow, loneliness—they were all a part of him, but he'd been gripping them tight, afraid to let them out and let them go.

So here, on the sands of Jakku at night, sitting next to a legendary Jedi Master, Gatz let himself grieve. And for the first time in many, many months, he felt whole.

"You did good, way better than most. You've a thing for attunement, that's special. Connecting to and understanding vergences is beyond most Jedi. Some study them for years...most never even hear a call, or anything."

"That's odd. I'm usually on the opposite end of that spectrum: floundering where everyone else excels."

But he laughed. Even through his tears, he managed to laugh. And Gatz knew, at long last, that things were truly going to be okay. His family was gone. There was no bringing them back. But that didn't mean he was alone. Not when Romi was right here, sitting next to him. Not when Lossa and Briana were below, probably well aware that he was here and still waiting for him to poke his head around their door and say hello.

"You deserve people that love you, and you have them."

Cora really was always right.

But the lesson wasn't over yet: Master Jade was bidding him to become accustomed to grieving. And she was right. How many times had he faltered, and second guessed himself, all because he was afraid of taking a life—even when it became necessary. Tython. Midvintir. Hesitation had nearly cost him and his friends their lives, because he didn't want the emotional anguish that came with killing—even in self-defense.

Life was sacred. He would never stop pursuing non-violent solutions. But neither could he fear violence, and allow himself to hesitate when things swung that way. He had to to learn how to grieve. He had to stop fearing the process. He had to stop letting that fear hold him back.

He had to let go.

"I will, Master Jade." Gatz bowed his head, reverently, "thank you. For the lesson. For your hospitality. And... for being here, so that I didn't have to grieve alone."

 

[Romi Jade]

JAKKU JEDI ENCLAVE

​

She laughed. "Well, the Force is a broad spectrum of many things. This is all really you just growing in strength, it's different for everyone. These sands hold secrets, and you're a lot closer to figuring those out."

As many others, she now considered Gatz one of hers; he was a mentee. When she'd taken to a student, she was continuously invested in their growth; the path of jedi-ship should be supported by a village -- least that's how she saw it. Varying perspectives were important in understanding something so vast and broad.

"I will, Master Jade." Gatz bowed his head, reverently, "thank you. For the lesson. For your hospitality. And... for being here, so that I didn't have to grieve alone."

"Anytime. I'll be keeping an eye on your progress Gatz. I hope you give this old Enclave a chance. I think Lossa and Briana will do just fine leading it into the next era...maybe perhaps you're apart of that future as well. Hmm." The last of her statement felt just as full of mysticism than their lesson did...and it was no secret Romi had visions.

Who knew what she saw or didn't foresee.

However, one didn't need to Force to know his destiny was somehow intertwined with the ladies.

"I'll always be around one way or another, if you need me."

​

Gatz Derrevar

---
​

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Equipment: Outfit | Lightsaber
Tag: Romi Jade

"Growing my own strength, huh?" Gatz echoed, "never thought of myself as strong. Just... afraid. And ignorant."

Gatz supposed there was pride to be had in being able to understand Jakku the way he was able to. Everyone was good at something, right? A poor Jedi he might have been, but he was a Jedi all the same, and there were things that even he was capable of. He wondered if that was part of the reason he was out here: to finally discover what kind of Jedi he was meant to be.

He wasn't Amani Serys , no matter how much he wanted to be. He was more like Valery Noble , yet he didn't want to walk her path.

Perhaps his destiny lay in the middle of the two. Or perhaps somewhere else entirely. Maybe that was why Romi was here: to point him in the right direction. Or maybe this was all just a giant coincidence, and the two of them had simply stumbled upon each other, and had subsequently stumbled upon the path forward that he was meant to walk.

Gatz decided that there was no point in theorizing. No point in worrying. His destiny would come at its appointed time.

"I'll always be around one way or another, if you need me."

"Thank you," Gatz smiled, "I can't offer you much in return, but I can promise to keep an eye out for Briana and Lossa. I know they have everything in hand... but everyone needs a little help now and again."

If he was going to hang around Jakku for a bit—and he was—the least he could do was place himself in service. It'd be a good way to get to know the Enclave, it's inhabitants, and the desert around them.

He wasn't wearing a poncho though.