Private Beneath the Surface

[Tirin Raene]

Aliris Tremiru

Tirin had done everything he could to make Aliris feel comfortable. After about a year spent in recovery, he ensured her new quarters were a sanctuary. A cozy retreat made from soft blankets, delicate pretty string lighting, clothing carefully chosen to fit her preferences. Her return was nothing short of a miracle, but he suspected that miracles came with prices, often hidden until the cost was unavoidable.

He gave her time—space to adjust to the peculiar stillness that often followed chaos. Finacial stability and basic needs were a form of love she was deserving of. Tirin was worried for her. Aliris had survived, yes, but survival wasn't the same as being whole. Whatever had brought her back was something he needed to understand, not just for her sake, but his own.

When the time felt right, he asked her to meet him in the study. It was his favorite place aboard the Aries, a private but welcoming retreat beneath a large sky observatory window in the form of a spacious yet cozy book room. Shelves were heavy with ancient texts and datapads surrounded them, the faint scent of bound paper and ink lingered in the in the air. Tirin had prepared a simple spread carefully—platters of cookies, steaming mugs of cocoa, small comforts he hoped would help ease into the conversation he knew was coming.

He noted her presence, her movements told him enough.

Tirin cleared his throat softly, offering a small smile as he began. "How are you adjusting? Do you like it here?"

He studied her closely after speaking, gauging her posture, her body language, the subtle tells she might give him. Tirin had learned over the years to read between the silences, to recognize what words couldn't express.

He leaned forward slightly, resting his elbows on his knees. "It's natural to feel unsettled," he said after a moment, "After what you've been through, normal might feel foreign. But it's okay to take your time."

His thoughts drifted briefly, unbidden, to his former Padawan, and the burdens he'd once failed to recognize until it was too late. But he shook off the memory, refocusing his attention on Aliris. This wasn't about the past. It was about ensuring that this time, he got it right.

He leaned back settling in a plush chair with a hot mug in his hands, exhaling softly.

But even as he spoke, the unease gnawed at him. He couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more—something lingering at the edges of her presence, just out of reach. Whatever had brought her back, it wasn't ordinary.

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

The first thing she'd realized about being back was just how tired she felt all the time. Mentally, she was far more awake than she had been for however long she was in that tank. But physically? Her body felt heavy and sluggish. The medical droid made sure to keep her body moving and twitching to avoid atrophy in her limbs, but the strength she had had faded drastically.

It was frustrating. She knew time had passed, she was vaguely aware of as much, but her body didn't feel like her own.

She took up one of the mugs, sipping at it carefully as she sat across from Tirin. She didn't like him at first. How could she have, everything considered? She'd only just started to get along with him before everything happened and she was put in that coma. There was a lot still to figure out, relationships to relearn, to feel comfortable with again.

"It does, but, so does everything else. I don't even feel like me, really. Having to relearn so much is.. Stressful."

Tirin Raene

 

[Tirin Raene]

Aliris Tremiru
Tirin placed his mug down carefully, leaning forward just enough to signal his full attention. "You've been through something incredibly rare and profoundly difficult," he began, "Coming out of a coma—especially one that lasted as long as yours—can feel like stepping into someone else's life. Everything looks familiar, but nothing feels quite like it used to."

He paused briefly, giving her space to process. "Physically, it makes sense that your body feels heavy and unresponsive. Even with the medical droids keeping your muscles active, the kind of strain your body endured takes time to repair. But what's more challenging—and often more overlooked—is the mental side of it. Being in a coma is not rest. It's a kind of limbo, and waking up from it can leave you feeling... untethered. As if parts of you didn't come back right away, or not at all."


He shifted slightly, his tone becoming even softer. "When you say you don't feel like yourself, I want to help you explore that. Do you feel as though you've changed, or does it feel more like the world around you has? Or both?"

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

"It's- both. I'm bigger now. I grew. Everyone else grew so just-" The words were frustrating. She was taller now, but she should've been stronger by this point. And yet, she was weaker. Her body just didn't feel like her own and it was frustrating beyond belief. She pulled her legs to her chest, squeezing them as she sipped the drink she had in her free hand.

"I have to catch up. And I don't like that I have to. I- missed them all, so much. But their lives, I don't know them anymore."

Tirin Raene

 

[Tirin Raene]

Aliris Tremiru

"You will get stronger in time," Tirin assured gently, "I can hear how much you're wrestling with everything right now—feeling out of step with the world, with yourself. That’s completely valid. What you’ve been through... it’s more than physical. It’s not just your body you’re trying to reclaim—it’s your trust in yourself, your identity, even your sense of safety. And those things don’t just snap back into place overnight.

What’s important to remember is that this feeling? It isn’t permanent. Your body and mind have been through something monumental—something that no one should have to endure—and they need time to heal, to remember that they’re yours again.

It’s also okay to feel like the people around you have moved on without you. But relationships aren’t static. Even if they feel unfamiliar now, they can evolve with you as you find yourself again. You don’t need to rush to 'catch up.' Instead, focus on rediscovering who you are, piece by piece, at your own pace. And the people who care about you—they’ll walk that path with you.

This can feel like too much, I know. So let’s break it down. What’s one thing you feel the most disconnected from—yourself, your body, or the people in your life? We can start there and work together to reclaim it, step by step."

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

".. The people."

It was an easy answer. As much as she didn't like how weak she'd ended up, she knew she could get some strength back, if not all. But the people? Her friends? Loomi and Braze Kai'el were her closest friends by far, but she knew they'd changed just looking at them when she woke up. And while she understood what Tirin was saying, that relationships changed all the time, it felt.. Wrong, almost, to her.

"I was just starting to get to really know them. To really understand them. They were my best friends that I was so excited to learn about, but now they've changed so much and just- .. I don't know what to feel, honestly, about that. I don't know how to approach it."

Tirin Raene

 

[Tirin Raene]

Aliris Tremiru

"Well… your friends have been waiting for you," Tirin began, their voice soft and encouraging. "They visited you often, hoping—believing—that one day you'd wake up. And now here you are. Your friends care about you deeply, and they always have. I care about you, too," Tirin added, their words laced with warmth.

"Sure, they may have grown up a little while you were resting, but I don't think they've changed as much as you might think. At their core, they're still the same people who love you. They've been holding onto hope for you all this time." Tirin paused for a moment, then continued gently, "But I am curious—what do you think is different about them? What do you feel has changed in your eyes?"

They let the question hang in the air, offering her the space to think before speaking again.

"It's okay to feel unsure or uncertain," Tirin said, their voice steady and reflective. "But life… life is one of those things you can only understand by looking back. The catch is, it can only be lived by moving forward. If you wait for certainty, the moment might pass you by. It's better to try something. It's the fastest way to learn if something works or not. And the fastest way to learn something new is to try asking questions. If you never try you wont succeed, and if you never askyou'll never know...."

"So how about this?" they suggested, leaning in just a little. "Why don't you spend some time with them? Maybe set aside a day or two to just be together—no expectations, no pressure. You could go somewhere fun, try something new, or even ask them to teach you something. Or maybe you could teach them something you know. You might be surprised by what you discover—not just about them, but about yourself, too."

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

There was another sip of her drink as she listened to Tirin. Her expression was still difficult to read, but eventually it relaxed as she sipped her drink again. There was still a somberness though, even as she smiled. "Loomi's new cybernetics, she's taller. More sure of herself and warmer. She grew a lot, literally and emotionally. Braze- his arm's in that sling now. What happened? I- no don't actually answer that I'll ask him. But- he's taller too. His unbridled joy and desire to see the good in everyone, even someone like me, it seems.. Dimmer."

She did nod her agreement, though. She wasn't going to know anything more if she didn't ask. If she didn't spend time with them. And yet, she still couldn't bring herself to fully smile. Aliris set the cup down on the table so she could more hug her knees to her chest, hide her face in them. "I'm- kinda scared to. Loomi, because of just nerves and the little bit of fear that we don't have anything in common anymore. But Braze- .. I'm scared. I don't think he feels the way he seemed to before about me, and I'm- .. Just scared to find out that that did change."

Tirin Raene

 

[Tirin Raene]

TAGS: Aliris Tremiru

Tirin took a few sips from his cup before setting it aside. He moved to sit beside Aliris, his hands resting gently on her shoulders as he rubbed slow, soothing circles. The gesture was meant to comfort, to let her know he was there.

"You know, you're different too," he said softly, a gentle smile touching his lips. "Everyone changes, everything does. It's just part of being alive." He paused, letting his words settle. "Bravery isn't the absence of fear... it's facing those fears and doing what's right anyway."

Tirin watched her carefully, his voice remaining calm, almost tender. "And besides, Loomi and Braze aren't the only kids your age in the whole universe. You can always make new friends. It's tough, sure, but relationships take work, even friendships. Usually, you end up with just a handful of really close friends—three, maybe. And that's okay. It takes effort to stay close to people, and sometimes, that means letting others in when things change."

He took a breath, "The only way to know what someone thinks or feels is to ask them. You might be worried about something that isn't even true. Communication is the foundation of any relationship—whether it's friendship or something more. Being honest, open, and willing to listen... that's what makes it strong." He hesitated, making sure Aliris was following. "If you can't talk to the ones you care about, can't be honest with them, it won't be healthy. It's as simple as that."

Tirin wasn't sure why he felt the need to share so much, especially given how his own approach to relationships could be complicated—feelings that leaned toward emotional bonds, but with little desire for physical attachment. But he knew the value of connection, knew how important it was to help Aliris understand that truth now, while she was still young. He didn't want to sugarcoat it; he wanted her to feel better, but he also wanted her to have a realistic outlook.

"Not everyone views relationships the same way either. Different cultures, different people—everyone has their own way of seeing things. And that's another reason communication matters so much. You can't really understand without talking, without trying to see things through their eyes.... It's hard, yeah. But it's worth it."

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

"That.. .."

Aliris listened in mostly silence as Tirin spoke. She didn't have an argument. She didn't really want an argument at that, but it didn't change just how scared she was of how much everything had changed. Where was her place now? What was she supposed to do, supposed to be? "I'll talk to them, yeah. It'd- be good to. I guess."

Tirin Raene

 

[Tirin Raene]

Aliris Tremiru

He studied Aliris, searching for the right words, before finally leaning forward.

"Aliris," his voice softened, careful, as though coaxing an untamed flame. "Let me ask you something… I've realized I don't really know how you became, well, you. Not just the person standing here today, but everything that led you to this point. Your life before we met—what it was like, what shaped you. If you're okay sharing that, I'd really like to understand. No rush, no pressure. Just... you, when you're ready."

He let the silence linger, giving her the space to decide, then pressed on, shifting the tone ever so slightly as well as the topic in some small manner.

"More than that," he added, "I'd like to know what you're working toward. Your goals, your future. I've always found it grounding to have things to look forward to, things to build toward—big or small. For me, I like to set three kinds: something I can achieve in a few days, something that'll take a few weeks or months, and then something much bigger. Something that might take a year or more, something that makes me keep moving. Have you thought about that? What's something you want to do—small, big, whatever feels right?"

He leaned back, watching her carefully, unsure if his words had struck the right chord or if he was asking too much.